TTC after 35

It's Over.

Hi.
I am sharing this here first.
I am done with fertility treatments.

After 3 IUI's
Three of my own IVF's
One fresh DE cycle
One frozen DE cycle
Lots of tears and heartache
Lots of mood swings
Lots of injections

It is over.


I am not electing to do the myomectomy.

I am almost fortyfive.

There is no guarantee on my last two cryopreserved blasts.

So, my beloved DH and I have made the agonizing decision to stop.

I want to sincerely thank each and every one of you, for your compassion, support, encouragement, and comfort in knowing that I was never alone in this roller coaster called unexplained infertility.

Best to you all.

Heather

Re: It's Over.

  • ((HUGS)) I am so sorry, words cannot express.....I wish you peace for your future. 

    image
    My Ovulation Chart



    Me: 41 DH: 46. We are TTC our 1st, started July '11,
    3 cycles clomid with Ob,
    1 cycle Tamoxifen with Ob,
    Diagnosed PCOS 11/5/12
    clomid, trigger & timed bd 12/12 BFN
    1st clomid IUI 1/4/13 BFN.
    2nd clomid IUI 2/13 cancelled didn't respond to clomid.
    3/15/13 scheduled laparoscopy & on bcp.

    May 10 IUI from injectibles - BFN 

    May 22 done with interventions it will either happen or it won't. 

    February 2014 No longer actively trying, but not preventing. 

     

  • I'm so sorry it's come to this for you after all of your struggles and heartaches.  ((Big Hugs)) and I hope you find the peace you deserve!


         

    imageimage

    Married August 2012. Me: 40  DH: 41
    Daughter from previous marriage: 19

    TTC #2 since August 2012
    BFP 12/19/12: Ectopic discovered at 8 weeks, right tube removed 01/18/13
    June 2013 Testing Results: Progesterone: 31.7, LH: 5, FSH: 5, Estradiol: 161
    Clomid cycles Nov. 2013 and Jan, Feb, and March 2014


    My FF Chart

    TTCAL BLOG

    All ALers welcome!

  • I am really really sorry, Heather. But I hope the decision bring you and your husband peace.
  • Ticker

     Heather, I'm so sorry that you are at this place. You have been through so much and have always remained so positive and supportive of everyone else throughout. I'm so sorry.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    TTC since 3/2010. Me 41, DH-49. After 3 years, 6 IUIs and several IVFs we have finally have our beautiful baby girl, born on 11/7/13.



  • Oh Heather, I am so sorry.  As others said, I know it's probably not there right now, but I hope you find peace and happiness.  
    Me: 37 DH: 37 TTC since Jan 2012. RE consult and initial testing done in Aug 2012: SA fine, AMH 1.1 & HSG clear - on way to IUI but got BFP on 9/10/2012. m/c 10/3/2012 at 6w5d. BFP next cycle which was a c/p. IUI #1: Clomid 100mg 12/6= BFN. IUI#2 (unmedicated) Jan 2013 = BFN. Hysteroscopy 1/25/13. IUI#3 Clomid 100mg 2/23 = BFN IUI# 4: BFN. IVF #1 April 2013, BFP!  EDD 1/12/14 with Boy!
  • I am so sorry, but I understand your decision. I wish you nothing but luck and piece in your future. You were the first person I read a post from and you gave me so much hope. Thank you for all that and I hope you find some relaxation in the future. 

    HUGE HUGS!  

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Sunni01Sunni01
    500 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    member

    Heather,

    I am new on here. i hope you find peace and happiness. I am so sorry for what all you have gone through. 

    Trying to Conceive Ticker
    Me-39, HSG 2/13- clear. DS-IUI #1-3/13,300iu Menopur 12 days,3 days Cetrotide, Ovidrel Trigger-BFN. IUI #2 06/13, BFP EDD: 02/22/14 m/c (cp), IUI #3- BFP EDD: 5/17/14 m/c 09/13. Blood work/RPL panel- nk cell/MTHFR mutation- negative. Blood work all good. Unexplained reason for m/c. IUI #4 BFP m/c (cp) 10/13. IUI #5- 12/13 Cancelled. No response. (1)follicle. IUI #5.1- 2/14. IVF Bound

    ********************SAIF/ PAIF/ ALL ARE WELCOME***********************
  • Ticker warning

     

    I am so sorry.  You have been so strong and positive throughout this journey.  I wish you peace.

    ? TTC#1 since 2/10 ?

    DX: Me - Slight androgen PCOS Him: Mild MFI Official DX: Unexplained IF

    2/11 - 8/11 - 6 cycles Femara (5mg) + TI = BFNs

    2/12 - 5/12 - Femara(5mg) + IUI = BFNs

    6/12 and 8/12 - Femara (7.5mg) + IUI = BFN :( - considered IUI#3 and 4 by RE

    9/12 and 12/12 - Femara (7.5mg for 3 days) + Ovidrel + IUI = BFN

    After 8 unsuccessful IUIs and no explanation for IF, moving on to IVF Feb. 2013.

    image


    S/PAIFW appreciated
  • I don't post over here very often but just wanted to say I am so very sorry that your journey has brought you to this point.  I wish you peace as you move forward and nothing but happiness on the other side of this difficult transition. You are in my thoughts & prayers. (((((Huge hugs)))))


    ***SIGNATURE & TICKER WARNING***


    TTC #1

    Me 42, DH 47

    Dx = AMA/DOR, MFI (0% morphology)

    IVF #1 (EPP Antagonist); 3R, 2M, 1F; 3dt of one 12-cell embryo = BFN

    IVF #2 (EPP MDLF); 6R, 4M, 3F; 3dt of 1-7 cell, 1-8 cell & 1-10 cell = BFP; loss @ 4w2d

    DNA fragmentation, karyotyping, autoimmune and thrombophila panels all normal.

    IVF #3 (DE); 13R, 12M, 8F; 5dt of two “excellent quality” blasts = BFP; loss @ 5w1d

    RPL panel & pelvic MRI; everything normal.

    FET; Transferred last two blasts = BFN

    IVF #4 (DE); 32R, 30M, 14F, 8 biopsied, 4 normal. Day 6 transfer of one fully hatched blast. BFP!

    Beta #1 @ 10dp6dt = 265; Beta #2 @ 14dp6dt = 1251. 

    1st U/S @ 6w2d showed one perfect little heartbeat! 

    2nd U/S @ 7w2d. HB 132 & everything measuring on track! EDD 1/14/15

    *PAIF/SAIF welcome*


    TEAM PINK!

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

  • I hope you and your husband can have peace.  I wish for only the best for you both.
    Anniversary
  • I think I can say that I am the only one on this board who knows what you are feeling right now. Walking away with empty arms is actually harder than continuing to pursue treatments. You will have hard days ahead as you will debate whether you made the right decision. I know this because I do it all the time. I'm hoping that at some point the good days outnumber the bad days. With Mother's Day approaching, it is hard to keep your head above water. I wish you peace as it would be wonderful to not feel this aching pain you have right now.

    If you want to join me on the private childfree Facebook group, send me a PM. The group isn't big but it has been helpful to me to have a place to vent and to have a safe childfree zone.

    Hugs (((()))))

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:40 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! EDD 12/2/14

    We are Team Pink x 2!!!

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • Heather, I am sorry your journey has brought you such sadness, but I am blessed to have read your posts over these past few months and to have been inspired by your courage and story.  I do wish you and your husband all of the peace and the joy that life can give you in the future.  You both will be in my prayers tonight.

    ************** Siggy Warning************


    Married August 2012 -- Me (40 yrs old) My husband (45 yrs. old) 

    RE referral from ObGYN in late Jan. 2013 -- Testing Confirms Unexplained IF 

    IUI #"s1 - 3 (Femara + IUI) April - June 2013 - all BFN

      Decided to do IVF... Began stimming on September 10th!  Egg Retrieval 9/20/13.  19 eggs: 6 to mature to freeze after 6 fertilized with ICSI

     3 morula stage embryos transferred on 9/25/13.....Beta #1 on 10/4/13/ = 7.5  Beta #2 on 10/6/13 =  negative

      IVF#2 - Lupron plan  (set to begin on 10/28/13)  (Planning on thawing and fertilizing our 6 eggs with ICSI as well as all of the mature eggs they retrieve with this fresh cycle.)

     Late October 2013 - ectopic pregnancy - methotrexate injection....benched 3 months

    CD1 - 12/5/13...Lupron set to start on 12/26/13; CD1 - 1/2/14....Baseline 1/3/14....begin follistim tonight and continue with lupron.  (Got my calendar today!  IVF#2 is a go!)

    ER = 1/14/14  (11 eggs....9 were mature. 9 fertilized.  Of the 6 mature eggs we thawed, only 4 fertilized.  At this time, we have 13 eggs fertilized and growing.  Waiting for news about a 3-day or 5-day transfer.)

    ET = 1/19/14  (5dt).....3 blastocysts transferred!   (All nine embryos didn't make it to freeze.  =(  )

    Beta #1 = 1/28/14   (2 weeks after ER)  BFP! 209 (9dp5dt)   EDD 10/7/14

    Beta #2 - 1/30/14  (11 dp5dt) 302

    Beta #3 - 2/3/14  (15 dp5dt)  1222 

    Ultrasound set for 2/17/14......TWINS!        Twin A - HR 124 bpm; Twin B - HR 126 bpm

    Final Ultrasound with RE 3/10/14 - Twin A - HR 176 bpm; Twin B - HR 177 bpm.

     PAIF/SAIF Welcome! 

     

     

    imageimage 

    imageimageimage

     

  • Heather this post has brought tears to my eyes. I am so very sorry that you have been through so much and this is the end.  My heart hurts for you and I will miss seeing you post. Take care of yourself and you and YH will be in my thoughts. Big big hugs girl :(

    ME:46 MH:43 DE IVF 2014
    Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

    DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957


     

     

         image image 
         image   imageimage



  • I can only imagine how you're feeling. I'm sorry. I hope your heart finds healing and joy despite the closing of this chapter.
  • I am so sorry, Heather.  I wish you tons of happiness as you move forward and hope you find great peace.  



    ******SIGGY/TICKER WARNING******

    Me: 40. DH: 42. TTC since 2009. 
    Normal-ish hormone levels (<9.5 FSH, 0.9 AMH).  Weird egg maturity issue.
    July 2011 - Feb. 2012: 2 Clomid/TI cycles; 3 injectables/IUI cycles. Good response but BFNs.
    Dec. 2011: Laparoscopy (clear) + hysteroscopy to remove uterine polyp.
    Apr. 2012: IVF #1: Antagonist protocol. 7R, 0M, 0F. :-(
    Nov. 2012: IVF #2: Long Lupron protocol. 9R, 1M, 1F. 3dt of my one lil' embie on 11/23: BFN. :-(
    Dec. 2012: Hail Mary IUI cycle with leftover IVF meds: BFN.
    Feb. 2013: IVF #3: Estrogen priming protocol, max stims. 6R, 1M, 1F w/rescue ICSI. My one embie didn't make it. :-(
    July 2013:  DE IVF #1. Canceled just before retrieval when donor tested positive for (active) CMV.  :-(
    Oct. 2013:  DE IVF #2, with wonderful new donor. ER 10/25:  31R, 24F. 5dt of one beautiful 4AB blast: 10/30. 14 frosties(!). BFP at 5dp5dt. Beta 11/8 (9dp5dt): 179. Beta 11/15 (16dp5dt): 2274. First US 11/25 (6w3d): a perfect little bean with a HB of 118. Second US 12/9 (8w3d): HB 170. Anatomy scan 2/27:  It's a perfect little GIRL! 

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
          image   image

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Heather,

    My heart aches for you and what you and your DH are going through.  I can't find the words to express what I want to say, I just know that I wish you much peace as you move forward and hope that you find much deserved happiness in your future.....

    You will truly be missed here, you were such a wonderful source of support and brought much lightness and laughter in this dark place of IF.....

    Sending you BigBig Hugs, again....you will be missed.  Take care of yourself, girlfriend.  ;) 

    Lilypie Trying to Conceive 15 to 80 day cycle tickers
  • jb2rnjb2rn
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    member

    PHOTO/TICKER

     

    Heather, I have followed your story for some time and just wanted to offer support for you during this time. please take care.

    b/w=FSH 15.6, AMH 0.4 surprise natural BFP on 3/12/11
    DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d

    image

  • Ticker warning

    Heather, I am so sorry that you find yourself at the crossroads of being unable to continue with treatments.  IF is all consuming and it's not fair that you can walk valiantly through it and not walk out with the family that you are seeking.  Big (((hugs)))

    TTC since 10/09 Me-43 DH-44 RE and testing 10/10-11/10, Recommending IVF 1/11 New RE AMA and DOR-DH low motility IVF #1.1 cancelled 3/11 due to poor response IVF #1.2 May 2011, one perfect 8-cell embryo, 3dt-BFN, IVF #2.1 Converted to IUI d/t poor response. New RE 9/2011. IVF 2.2 completed using HGH,EPP,DHEA, Q-10 and accupuncture. Transferred one 8-cell, grade one embryo on 10/19. BFP 10/31/11 Chemical pregancy on 11/2/11. Started stims for IVF #3, our final try, on 12-2-11. ET on 12/18. Transferred 3 Grade A embryos-BFFN Planning DE IVF, late March/early April- Donors ER expected to be 4/2-4/4. PAIF/SAIF welcome
  • Just wanted to express my feelings and wish you much happiness and peace in the future for you and your DH. I am sure that wasn't an easy decision to come to, but I'm sure you know it was also the right decision for the two of you. Day by day, I pray it gets better.
    ME: 39;HIM: 41....TR done 4/2/12
    TTC since June 2012, when he's in-country long enough!


    image
  • owlprofowlprof
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its
    member
    Oh Heather, I am so sorry that you find yourself at the end.  I hope that you find peace in the coming weeks and months.  Sending you and your husband lots and lots of love. 

    image



    TTC since Jan 2011,

    5 IUIs from January to October 2012 = all BFN

    IVF #1, ER scheduled for mid-December

    image
  • GuennieGuennie
    250 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    member
    Ticker warning.

    This truly breaks my heart. I really hoped things would work out for you. I am so sorry. Thank you for the support you gave me when I was on this board. I too hope you will find some peace. xoxo
    image
    My Ovulation Chart
    || Ovulation Chart



    Me:40, DH:39 First miscarriage, age 19, 1992. Lost twin pregnancy resulting in D&C, age 38, 2011. Blighted ovum resulting in D&C, age 39, 2012. Natural miscarriage, age 39, 2012. Positive for MTHFR mutations- one copy C677T, one copy A1298C. Still hoping for a healthy pregnancy.
  • ksgsmuksgsmu
    2500 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Third Anniversary
    member
    I am so sorry- I have no words other that I hope you find Peace in your decision and I wish you the very best!
    ***siggy/ticker warning***

    Me:36 DH:38 TTC#1 since 4/2012
    Me DX: Hashimotos,Hypothyroid, DOR, MTHFR,  DH: normal

     IUI #1-#4 BFNs and a few cancelled cycles in the mix.
    - poor responder
    ***Suprise BFP on 6/13/13. Natural MC @6wks 3days
    IVF#1 and 2- Cancelled due to no response on max stimms
    ER- We got 25 eggs!
    FET 5/20- BFP
    1st Beta- 641
    2nd beta- 2166
    Sono- TWINS!!!! EDD (1-12-15)


    My TTC BLOG 
    www.psalm9419.blogspot.com

    All are welcome to post!





    image BabyFetus Ticker

  • I am so sorry....I was hoping you would be one of the lucky ones.  
    Me: 40 Dh: 41, TTC since August 2009, began Acupuncture and Herbs Sept 2011, began Temping and Charting Nov 2011. image
  • I totally understand.....I get it... we too have ended our journey. It makes me sad to know that other people are dealing with this horrible pain, it is relentless Peace to you and your husband.

    TTC since 2009 very frustrated 42yr and DH 40

    5 cycles of Clomid with satisfactory response=BFN's
    Fibroid removal Nov2010
    IUI Clomid #1 Feb 2011...BFN..damn it!
    IUI Inject's #2 Apr 2011...CANCELLED...low estradiol
    IUI Inject's #3 June 2011...BFN
    IUI Inject's #4 Sept2011...BFFN
    Lap Dec 2011...severe endo..cyst removed..some remains...
    IVF#1 Apr 2012 ....cancelled due to over suppression
    IVF#2 July 2012....6 follies...only 1 retrieved....BFFN
    surgery suggested to move ovary to an better placement but....we moved two time zones away and are financially and emotionally empty

  • MCH77MCH77
    2500 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    ((HUGS)) I am so sorry. I hope you find peace with your new plan.

    BFP #1 March 24, 2010; missed m/c May 26, 2010 @ 12w 4d; D&E May 28, 2010

    BFP #2 Oct 20, 2010; My little boy was born on July 5, 2011

    BFP #3 April 30, 2013; Chemical Pg May 5, 2013

    BFP #4 Aug 22, 2013; It's a boy.  Loss discovered at 24 weeks on Jan 15, 2014 (cause CMV virus)    

                                  <3 We love and miss you Timothy <3

    BFP #5 April 6, 2014; missed m/c May 15, 2014 @ 9 weeks; Misoprostol May 15, 2014; D&C May June 3, 2014

  • Ticker

    Heather I'm so sorry to read this. You were always supportive to myself and others on this board and I'm so sorry your journey is ending this way. You will be in my thoughts during this very difficult time.

    Me 38 MH 40 - TTC since June 2010 - dx with Severe MFI. Straight to IVF with ICSI. IVF #1 - ER 06/13/12 - 9 Eggs Retrieved - 4 ICSI'd - only 2 fert. 06/15/12 - 2DT - 3 cell & 6 cell with fragmentation. Beta 06/29/12 - IVF #1 = BFN. 07/20/12 - WTF Appt -Told by our RE to quit IVF. Second Opinion from RE is good. IVF#2 - November 2012. Estradiol Pills Started 11/6. Stims start 11/16. ER 11/26 - 7 eggs retrieved - all mature. 4 fertilized with ICSI. ET 11/29 Transferred 3 embryos. Beta is 12/10. 1st Beta 81 2nd Beta 160 and 3rd beta 360!!! First U/S 12/21/12 - We saw one beautiful gest. sac. 2nd U/S is 01/04/2013 - H/B 183 02/05/13 - NT Scan - everything looks good and IT'S A BOY!  Aiden was born 08/20/2013.

    IVF #2 is in progress.  ER was 05/12/14 - 11 eggs retrieved, 8 fertilized with ICSI.  ET was 05/15/14 - we transferred 3 embryos as we did on the cycle my son was conceived.  We were able to freeze 3 embryos. Beta is scheduled for 05/26/14.  1st beta - 111.  2nd beta - 159 didn't double :( 3rd beta Friday 5/30) - not a lot of hope left. Beta # 3 is 247 - probably ectopic.  Beta # 4 is 813 - possibly vanishing multiple sydrome?  06/05/14 - 5w4days - first U/S - we see a gestational sac and yolk - still have hope!  06/17/14 - 7w1day - U/S and saw and heard the heartbeat - Finally!  06/27/14 - 8w4days - Baby and heartbeat look and sound great :) 


     "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."


    image


    BabyFruit Ticker

      Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Wow!! Words can truly not express how touched I feel from this outpouring of support and kindess.
    Mothers Day will be true testament to my strength and resilience, this is the first one when reality is really slapping my face.
    I want to thank each of you for all the care, kindness and support.
    I truly mean this, you cannot imagine how the knowledge of feeling part of something like this site and knowing I'm not alone means the world to me.

    Now I'm going to figure out how to PM and get on the Facebook page.

    Best to you all!!!
  • QOTRQOTR
    Ninth Anniversary 250 Answers 1000 Comments 500 Love Its
    member
    big hugs Heather.
    Me-41, Hubby-40.
    1st BFP-8/17/12!  Missed Miscarriage discovered @ 8 week US.  D&C.
    2nd BFP-2/13/13!  Blighted Ovum discovered @ 8 week US. Natural miscarriage.
    3rd BFP-5/22/13!  By early June, progesterone plummeting.  Another loss.
    August 2013 - started Donor Egg process, but surprise BFP with my own eggs.
    Dear Son born 5/28/14
  • Heather I am so sorry that you have come to this decision.  It takes a very strong person to make that decision.  I am getting to that point & I haven't even gone through anything you have been through - no IUI or IVF.  RE said IUI would be a waste for us & that IVF with ICSI was our only option (we are not covered by insurance for this & the odds: a 15% chance of a BFP outcome does not sound too promising - DH said he would pay, but he is worried of a big heartache for me if it didn't work.  I personally did not like the odds either & agreed, it was not worth the heartache).

    I wish you peace on your journey.  Sending {{{{hugs}}}} your way!

    Do what we have been doing, vacationing.  It gets your mind off the ttc journey.

     

    image
    My Ovulation Chart
    || Ovulation Calendar

    Me 42, DH 34 - TTC #1 since June 2012.
    9/12 3-day testing: TSH 3.76, T4 Free 1.1, LH 6.1, FSH 7.4, Prolactin 9.0, Estradiol 56. 12/12 HSG done & my tubes are clear!! 1/22/13 3-day testing: TSH 6.2, FSH 7.7, AMH 0.86, Estradiol 54, Prolactin 10.5. Thyroid almost doubled (hmmm), started Synthroid 2/4/13 and also 15,000 of Vit D 1/wk. 2/26/13 RE says I am in great shape, but DH has MFI - extremly low count along with morphology & motility issues. RE said IUI would be a waste, that IVF with ICSI is what he thinks we should do. Insurance does not cover IVF.... :(
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