I told you I was going to get crap for this and that it is my unpopular opinion I wouldn't say anything to anyone that did breastfeed openly in public. I do believe its your choice just like I believe its your choice to do all sorts of other things that we probably don't agree on. I just find it uncomfortable and that there are usually other options. I do find your response a little immature though... I completely respect people's opinions on this subject, but I do find that those that are extremely pro-breastfeeding everywhere in public without cover are generally a little hostile towards other opinions on the matter. I really think the issue of breastfeeding openly in public is a cultural one (hence why in some cultures you would never see this and in some cultures they don't think twice about it). Like it or not, in the United States there are thousands of different cultures even among people of similar race/ethnic background, and not everyone is going to agree with openly breastfeeding in public. Like I said, none of my family or any of my close friends would ever do it, and we don't find it restricting or offensive at all that we are expected to cover up. I'm just one of them that isn't comfortable with it. So again, my unpopular opinion. I never said anyone had to agree with me.
I agree 100% with you JandA. I have been EBF my son for 9 months now (I pump and use bottles for daycare). I always use a cover when I am not home. My mom was very uncomfortable with the idea of nursing. She even said I wasn't allowed to in her home (please no flames or judging comments). I didn't listen and nurse with a cover. She is now perfectly fine with the situation and has no problem with me nursing while using a cover. Honestly, I don't want my mom, dad, brother, inlaws, etc. seeing my boobs.
I know that every woman has legal rights. In our society, it makes people very uncomfortable. To be honest, it makes me uncomfortable seeing someone nurse without a cover and I am a supporter of breastfeeding.
Your comfort is not my concern. If you are uncomfortable with what I am doing then you are the one with the problem and you should be the one to leave, not me.
ETA: I don't mean you JandA, just a general anyone "you".
I agree 100% with you JandA. I have been EBF my son for 9 months now (I pump and use bottles for daycare). I always use a cover when I am not home. My mom was very uncomfortable with the idea of nursing. She even said I wasn't allowed to in her home (please no flames or judging comments). I didn't listen and nurse with a cover. She is now perfectly fine with the situation and has no problem with me nursing while using a cover. Honestly, I don't want my mom, dad, brother, inlaws, etc. seeing my boobs.
I know that every woman has legal rights. In our society, it makes people very uncomfortable. To be honest, it makes me uncomfortable seeing someone nurse without a cover and I am a supporter of breastfeeding.
So JandA, I join you with your unpopular opinion.
I mean this in the nicest way humanly possible - you were apparently raised by a woman with some MAJOR unhealthy issues regarding breastfeeding and breasts in general. It's possible that your opinion regarding breastfeeding has more to do with your mom's unhealthy view of breastfeeding/breasts than it does with "society" being "uncomfortable" about breastfeeding.
The beach must just be hell for you, JanACoffee. And I assume you never go to a bar!
I see boobs. Just not on breastfeeding women, generally. I work on a university campus and I see plenty of skin... with no babies in sight.
And these are the personal attacks I was talking about in my wall of text. Its just impossible for some people to have any sort of a rational discussion on this topic without resorting to this crap.
It's not really a personal attack any more than claiming NIP is "immodest".
Modesty is a personal decision. You can not expect other people to conform to your notions any more than I can expect 18 year olds to put on some damn clothes.
I stand by my radical femiinism: women are the bosses of their own bodies. They should do what makes THEM comfortable first. Others can be considered, but they should always come second.
I want to make one more point in this and then I'm done. Again, reiterating, I'm not saying anyone should be forced to cover up or be forced into some deep dark dungeon to nurse. In my opinion women should be discreet about it out of respect for people that may be uncomfortable around it such as myself. But, the comment made about my opinion being dangerous is the first intelligent argument I have heard towards me on this. I disagree with it. But I understand where you are coming from. I would hate for my being uncomfortable around it to discourage anyone from breastfeeding. This is why I would never in a million years say something to someone that was breastfeeding in public uncovered. As I mentioned. I am actually very probreastfeeding. On the other hand though, I do think it is very dangerous to take such a ranting, hostile view on it every time someone says that they are uncomfortable or wish women would cover up. I have been posting on the bump since I found out I was pregnant over a year ago, and I have seen time and again these hostile probreastfeedinguncovered posts, and they always not only tick me off but make me want to disassociate from saying that I am probreastfeeding. Let me explain before I get more hositle comments:nbsp;A few weeks ago, someone posted on here that she was uncomfortable with seeing her own and other women's breasts and had felt nauseous when watching the breastfeeding videos but she was trying to overcome that because she wanted to breastfeed. She ended up with a bunch ofnbsp;hostile responses about how she should grow up and how if she couldn't stand looking at someone breastfeeding that she would never make it breastfeeding. Now all this coming from people that are supposedly probreastfeeding?? All because they are so hungup on it being seen as natural and being able to do it in public uncovered. I understand that they and you are upset at the idea that someone would ever make a comment to a woman about breastfeeding in public and thatnbsp;breastfeeding is generally the best thing for a baby and that society's views of it are not always encouraging. But I think that it is just as dangerous, if not even moreso, to go so overboard and rant and rave without even actually acknowledging another person's point of view might stem from something aside from them just being a horrible person as in "go away" and "screw you" when I stated that I was uncomfortable seeing it and then linking it somehow with defication and urination which I am still confused on and topping it off with comparing it to black people's racism struggles which is so far beyond this its not even funny. Now, I'll tell you, if I saw someone, even uncovered in public, getting called out for breastfeeding, I would be right there with you maiming the sorry person that did it. I believe breastfeeding is important and a woman's right to do it is paramount even if uncovered in public. But I also believe that in the society we live in boobs are associated with more than breastfeeding, I don't believe this is changing any time soon, and I know it makes a lot of people myself included uncomfortable to see another woman's breasts in public. Again I think this is cultural. And I do think that women should be respectful of this and try to cover up when possible. Now if it is between notnbsp;covering up or not breasfeeding, by all means don't cover up and keep breastfeeding. But trying to make it such a raving black and white issue in my opinion is more dangerous than admitting that I am uncomfortable with it and wished people would cover up.nbsp;All that comes to mind is all the initial wellintentioned women's rights movements and how it resulted in many womennbsp;clarifying that they are prowomen's rights, but not one of THOSE feminists ya know, the diehard, black and white extremists if you are one, once again sorry, but I just don't believe in extremism in general. So to sum it up in my opinion you gotta find some nonhostile, rantingnbsp;way to make your point, and regardless of what your opinion is you need to respect the opinions of others even if you strongly disagree with them. I find it uncomfortable to breastfeed andnbsp;to see other women breastfeeding in public and wish they would cover up if possible. And ya know what? Its okay that I have that opinion. Edit: Sorry for no paragraphs.nbsp;I agree : Sometime ago I kept trying to get TB to do paragraphs and it wouldn't skip a line, so I think I gave up for a while. I'm guessing it was just a temporary glitch. Paragraphs have been inserted... Also I usually don't engage this much in bump drama and do such long posts... although this is the second one recently so maybe i'm just hormonal or something for some reason... but I really do getnbsp;irked when I see people's opinions on this getting attacked and attacked so personally and since DD is taking extra long naps today for some reason, I had the time :
You're backtracking. You first said that it was your opinion that women who breastfeed in public should go the most secluded private place and cover up as much as possible. I believe those were almost your exact words.
Now you say that you would jump and defend a woman breastfeeding in public who was uncovered? I'm glad you would. But this is not what you began saying. You began by saying you didn't want to see bare breasts while a woman was breastfeeding. Fine. No big deal. It's that you think women should isolate themselves and leave public areas when they are trying to feed their babies.
Again I can't change how you think obviously. But it is offensive to think that you don't think breastfeeding women can hang out in public places. Does no one else get that?
It's not even about covering up. It's about breastfeeding women being allowed to coexist in public with other people, which you said you didn't like. Remember that?
I agree 100% with you JandA. I have been EBF my son for 9 months now (I pump and use bottles for daycare). I always use a cover when I am not home. My mom was very uncomfortable with the idea of nursing. She even said I wasn't allowed to in her home (please no flames or judging comments). I didn't listen and nurse with a cover. She is now perfectly fine with the situation and has no problem with me nursing while using a cover. Honestly, I don't want my mom, dad, brother, inlaws, etc. seeing my boobs.
I know that every woman has legal rights. In our society, it makes people very uncomfortable. To be honest, it makes me uncomfortable seeing someone nurse without a cover and I am a supporter of breastfeeding.
So JandA, I join you with your unpopular opinion.
I mean this in the nicest way humanly possible - you were apparently raised by a woman with some MAJOR unhealthy issues regarding breastfeeding and breasts in general. It's possible that your opinion regarding breastfeeding has more to do with your mom's unhealthy view of breastfeeding/breasts than it does with "society" being "uncomfortable" about breastfeeding.
No, it is society and being uncomfortable. I have always felt that way,
even before I knew my mom's stance on breastfeeding in general.
I'm sure I'll get a lot of crap for this, but I think women should use a cover when breastfeeding or at least be very discreet (not to the point of breastfeeding in the bathroom unless like PP stated there is no other possibility because that is just not a good place to feed by any means...) I know breasts are for food. That is what they are made for. BUT, in the society we live in they are associated with a whole lot more than that and while it would be great if that would change. Its not likely to anytime soon. My sister has EBFed all three of her kids. I EBF my 4 1/2 month old. All my friends that I can think of EBFed, my cousins have all EBFed, and ya know what? I have never seen any of their boobs. I honestly don't ever remember seeing a baby being bottlefed in my family growing up, but everyone just used a cover or left the room for a few minutes (I mean really, DD almost never takes longer than 5-10 minutes anymore). Maybe it is just the people I'm around and the way we grew up, but we just all use a cover and don't think anything of it. And personally, I would feel uncomfortable if someone was breastfeeding without one in front of me. And I would feel uncomfortable with my dad, sister, mom, cousins, friends, friends' husbands, etc... seeing my boobs! Even if they are for food. Some lady was wandering around Wal-Mart the other day when I was there with a kid breastfeeding him while just wandering around and I'll tell you, I had no interest in seeing that while trying to pick out produce.Especially since she wasn't using a nursing tank or anything so she was just wandering with her shirt up around her neck and covering one boob. Just weird. Although to be honest, I saw a woman bottlefeeding her young baby laying down in the seat part of the cart a few days after that and did an Eww... then also because I just see Wal-Mart as one of the most germ-ridden places anywhere and wouldn't want to feed my child there by any method any more than I would want to in the restroom, but that is just my issue with Wal-Mart... Now, if you don't have a cover, and your baby needs to be fed, then you feed them, but at least go to the least public place possible and cover up as much as possible... I know many of you think that you shouldn't have to, but I think there is something to be said for respecting other people's comfort levels also. And that is just my unpopular opinion...
Now, if you don't have a cover, and your baby needs to be fed, then you feed them, but at least go to the least public place possible and cover up as much as possible...
The bolded above is the problem. Thanks, you're at least "letting" me feed my baby in public. So I can't stay at the restaurant table with my family? What if I'm at a public park? Where should I go Jandacoffee?
And Jandacoffee what if i'm in airport, that's a pretty public place. Then I can't stay in my seat around other people in the waiting area? What if i'm at the zoo. Can I breastfeed there?
Do you get my point here? You are telling women YOUR WORDS ABOVE: "but at least go to the least public place possible".
That is the problem. You have since clarified that you only think these thoughts and would never express your opinion to anyone else. That works for me I suppose. But you started out by saying women who are breastfeeding their baby uncovered should not hang out in public places. NOT COOL AT ALL.
You're backtracking. You first said that it was your opinion that women who breastfeed in public should go the most secluded private place and cover up as much as possible. I believe those were almost your exact words.
Now you say that you would jump and defend a woman breastfeeding in public who was uncovered? I'm glad you would. But this is not what you began saying. You began by saying you didn't want to see bare breasts while a woman was breastfeeding. Fine. No big deal. It's that you think women should isolate themselves and leave public areas when they are trying to feed their babies.
Again I can't change how you think obviously. But it is offensive to think that you don't think breastfeeding women can hang out in public places. Does no one else get that?
It's not even about covering up. It's about breastfeeding women being allowed to coexist in public with other people, which you said you didn't like. Remember that?
No I never said anything about secluded or not being allowed to coexist with other people. In my opinion except in rare circumstances it is not difficult to cover up or at least be discreet about it when in public. And I sometimes do leave for 5-10 minutes with DD (longer in the beginning when necessary) when that isn't possible and have never felt restricted, secluded, or unable to coexist in public by taking a break from what I'm doing to feed my daughter. In the instances where it is too difficult then breastfeeding takes priority over modesty in my opinion. I just don't think this is often the case. And I would happily maim the person because I don't think its right to embarrass someone or restrict what they are doing just because it isn't in agreement with my personal opinion and I would think that person was a jerk
sigh. yes you did. And I quote:
but at least go to the least public place possible and cover up as much as possible...
Does going to the least public place possible not inherently imply isolation?
Also the more I read your quote above, the more fitting it seems that this type of advice should be found in a circa 1950 magazine on how to be a decent woman and housewife.
I think women absolutely have the right to feed their babies where ever they are allowed to be otherwise and in whatever manner they choose. Sometimes I cover up and sometimes I don't, depending on the setting and my comfort level at the time. (I also am not as good at covering everything with just the baby as many women are.)
But Christians are called to be careful in exercising their rights: "Be careful, however, that the exercise of your rights does not become a
stumbling block to the weak." (1 Cor. 8:9)
Many men do struggle with lustful thoughts, and I don't want to be a stumbling block to anyone. Even though I know breasts are for nourishment, our culture has sexualized them so much. So I try to cover up when there are men around, particularly at church or similar settings.
But just in secular thinking, you have the right to nurse in whatever way you are comfortable.
The beach must just be hell for you, JanACoffee. And I assume you never go to a bar!
I see boobs. Just not on breastfeeding women, generally. I work on a university campus and I see plenty of skin... with no babies in sight.
I asked my husband if he would be embarrassed if I were to nurse this summer in my swimming suit (a cute one piece swimdress) without a cover, and he said that he'd rather have me cover up with a towel, which I will not be doing. DS got really hot this winter in just a zip up sleeper, and I don't think I'm going to suffocate him with a towel in 101 degree weather.
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I literally just got into a huge argument with my husband over this LOL. He tried yo tell me that nursing without a cover is indecent exposure. He is actually convinced that there is no possible way that nursing without a cover out in the open could possibly be legal. The way I see it if he wants me to cover up that's fine ill do that but I will most definitely find the NEAREST place yo sit and feed her there. If lo wasn't happy then I would.move to a more quiet secluded area. My child's needs come first. Also my boobs are the only boobs that are his concern no one else's. I mean what if everyone had to go to a special room and sit there and eat with a blanket on their head so no one could see them?
Wow, I can't believe how heated this one got! When DD was newborn I had to watch her latch because I have overactive letdown, so she would move to a shallow latch to control the flow. By the time I could feed her without looking I didnt feel the need to because I was comfortable nursing. I have BF walking in an aisle of the BRU because a man was shopping for gliders so I didn't want to park myself in front of him and make him uncomfortable (and there was no nursing room in that one, only a very smelly bathroom).
I fed her whenever and wherever she wanted, and have never used a cover (don't own one in fact). The pic previously posted is accurate. You pull down or up on a shirt, and the baby's head covers what the shirt doesn't. The only time I have ever shown any boob in public was when LO popped off from the strong letdown, and I would've flashed a lot more taking a cover off than simply putting a burp cloth between us until the flow subsided.
I have never gotten any negative comments. I have gotten positive comments saying that I make it look easy and that more women should BF because its so good for babies.
I think women absolutely have the right to feed their babies where ever they are allowed to be otherwise and in whatever manner they choose. Sometimes I cover up and sometimes I don't, depending on the setting and my comfort level at the time. (I also am not as good at covering everything with just the baby as many women are.)
But Christians are called to be careful in exercising their rights: "Be careful, however, that the exercise of your rights does not become a
stumbling block to the weak." (1 Cor. 8:9)
Many men do struggle with lustful thoughts, and I don't want to be a stumbling block to anyone. Even though I know breasts are for nourishment, our culture has sexualized them so much. So I try to cover up when there are men around, particularly at church or similar settings.
But just in secular thinking, you have the right to nurse in whatever way you are comfortable.
God forbid we hold men accountable for their thoughts or actions. No, let's make the women cover up. It's their fault for tempting the men.
God put boobs there for babies not men. Nursing wasn't something created by gentiles pagans atheists whatever. Its something we were all born with or for Christians that God created us with.
I EP. So we don't really have the nip issue. However, if I was nursing, I would totally NIP and do so without a cover. People who think a cover is mandatory should try to eat their lunch with a blanket over their head and see how good that feels.
And feeding in the restroom? Seriously? Ever actually been in one of those? I barely want to pee in there. But eating? Nope. And if I don't want to eat there i won't make my baby eat there either.
It's ridiculous, really. Boobs are there to feed babies. If they are used for just that, people get uncomfortable and make it as weird for mothers as possible. If you put the same boobs in a skimpy bikini, though, it's alright and awesome. Screw that!
I am so so sick of this crap. Of you don't want to see my boobs, I have a solution: don't look at them.
I have been eping for 8 months now. When it is time to pump, I pump. I don't leave the room or isolate myself anymore. I pump in the car, on the porch, wherever. I pump with friends and family around, at least at my house. And whoever is not comfortable can get the F out.
Pervy men are going to look at me in more than one situation. It's their issue not mine. Tell your relatives to cut it out, OP, and feed your baby where ever you want and how it is most comfy for both of you. It's fine.
My babies don't like to be covered. I NIP all the time, but I try to be relatively discreet. I wear an undercover mama, so I'm not flashing too much belly or boob. If there is a baby room, I will use it. But, I'm not going way out of my way. We just got back from Disney and I used the baby room once, mostly because we needed some quiet time. The rest of the time, I nursed while on rides, while eating, while watching fireworks. I only got 1 awkward stare the whole time.
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Re: Breastfeeding in public
I agree 100% with you JandA. I have been EBF my son for 9 months now (I pump and use bottles for daycare). I always use a cover when I am not home. My mom was very uncomfortable with the idea of nursing. She even said I wasn't allowed to in her home (please no flames or judging comments). I didn't listen and nurse with a cover. She is now perfectly fine with the situation and has no problem with me nursing while using a cover. Honestly, I don't want my mom, dad, brother, inlaws, etc. seeing my boobs.
I know that every woman has legal rights. In our society, it makes people very uncomfortable. To be honest, it makes me uncomfortable seeing someone nurse without a cover and I am a supporter of breastfeeding.
So JandA, I join you with your unpopular opinion.
Your comfort is not my concern. If you are uncomfortable with what I am doing then you are the one with the problem and you should be the one to leave, not me.
ETA: I don't mean you JandA, just a general anyone "you".
>>>---FSU--->
I mean this in the nicest way humanly possible - you were apparently raised by a woman with some MAJOR unhealthy issues regarding breastfeeding and breasts in general. It's possible that your opinion regarding breastfeeding has more to do with your mom's unhealthy view of breastfeeding/breasts than it does with "society" being "uncomfortable" about breastfeeding.
It's not really a personal attack any more than claiming NIP is "immodest".
Modesty is a personal decision. You can not expect other people to conform to your notions any more than I can expect 18 year olds to put on some damn clothes.
I stand by my radical femiinism: women are the bosses of their own bodies. They should do what makes THEM comfortable first. Others can be considered, but they should always come second.
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You're backtracking. You first said that it was your opinion that women who breastfeed in public should go the most secluded private place and cover up as much as possible. I believe those were almost your exact words.
Now you say that you would jump and defend a woman breastfeeding in public who was uncovered? I'm glad you would. But this is not what you began saying. You began by saying you didn't want to see bare breasts while a woman was breastfeeding. Fine. No big deal. It's that you think women should isolate themselves and leave public areas when they are trying to feed their babies.
Again I can't change how you think obviously. But it is offensive to think that you don't think breastfeeding women can hang out in public places. Does no one else get that?
It's not even about covering up. It's about breastfeeding women being allowed to coexist in public with other people, which you said you didn't like. Remember that?
http://balletandbabies.blogspot.com
No, it is society and being uncomfortable. I have always felt that way, even before I knew my mom's stance on breastfeeding in general.
It is a cultural issue.
I'm changing my culture, one breastfeeding session at a time. And I'm both happy and proud to be a part of that change.
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Now, if you don't have a cover, and your baby needs to be fed, then you feed them, but at least go to the least public place possible and cover up as much as possible...
The bolded above is the problem. Thanks, you're at least "letting" me feed my baby in public. So I can't stay at the restaurant table with my family? What if I'm at a public park? Where should I go Jandacoffee?
And Jandacoffee what if i'm in airport, that's a pretty public place. Then I can't stay in my seat around other people in the waiting area? What if i'm at the zoo. Can I breastfeed there?
Do you get my point here? You are telling women YOUR WORDS ABOVE: "but at least go to the least public place possible".
That is the problem. You have since clarified that you only think these thoughts and would never express your opinion to anyone else. That works for me I suppose. But you started out by saying women who are breastfeeding their baby uncovered should not hang out in public places. NOT COOL AT ALL.
http://balletandbabies.blogspot.com
sigh. yes you did. And I quote:
but at least go to the least public place possible and cover up as much as possible...
Does going to the least public place possible not inherently imply isolation?
Also the more I read your quote above, the more fitting it seems that this type of advice should be found in a circa 1950 magazine on how to be a decent woman and housewife.
http://balletandbabies.blogspot.com
I think women absolutely have the right to feed their babies where ever they are allowed to be otherwise and in whatever manner they choose. Sometimes I cover up and sometimes I don't, depending on the setting and my comfort level at the time. (I also am not as good at covering everything with just the baby as many women are.)
But Christians are called to be careful in exercising their rights: "Be careful, however, that the exercise of your rights does not become a stumbling block to the weak." (1 Cor. 8:9)
Many men do struggle with lustful thoughts, and I don't want to be a stumbling block to anyone. Even though I know breasts are for nourishment, our culture has sexualized them so much. So I try to cover up when there are men around, particularly at church or similar settings.
But just in secular thinking, you have the right to nurse in whatever way you are comfortable.
I asked my husband if he would be embarrassed if I were to nurse this summer in my swimming suit (a cute one piece swimdress) without a cover, and he said that he'd rather have me cover up with a towel, which I will not be doing. DS got really hot this winter in just a zip up sleeper, and I don't think I'm going to suffocate him with a towel in 101 degree weather.
Wow, I can't believe how heated this one got! When DD was newborn I had to watch her latch because I have overactive letdown, so she would move to a shallow latch to control the flow. By the time I could feed her without looking I didnt feel the need to because I was comfortable nursing. I have BF walking in an aisle of the BRU because a man was shopping for gliders so I didn't want to park myself in front of him and make him uncomfortable (and there was no nursing room in that one, only a very smelly bathroom).
I fed her whenever and wherever she wanted, and have never used a cover (don't own one in fact). The pic previously posted is accurate. You pull down or up on a shirt, and the baby's head covers what the shirt doesn't. The only time I have ever shown any boob in public was when LO popped off from the strong letdown, and I would've flashed a lot more taking a cover off than simply putting a burp cloth between us until the flow subsided.
I have never gotten any negative comments. I have gotten positive comments saying that I make it look easy and that more women should BF because its so good for babies.
God put boobs there for babies not men. Nursing wasn't something created by gentiles pagans atheists whatever. Its something we were all born with or for Christians that God created us with.
And feeding in the restroom? Seriously? Ever actually been in one of those? I barely want to pee in there. But eating? Nope. And if I don't want to eat there i won't make my baby eat there either.
It's ridiculous, really. Boobs are there to feed babies. If they are used for just that, people get uncomfortable and make it as weird for mothers as possible. If you put the same boobs in a skimpy bikini, though, it's alright and awesome. Screw that!
I am so so sick of this crap. Of you don't want to see my boobs, I have a solution: don't look at them.
I have been eping for 8 months now. When it is time to pump, I pump. I don't leave the room or isolate myself anymore. I pump in the car, on the porch, wherever. I pump with friends and family around, at least at my house. And whoever is not comfortable can get the F out.
Pervy men are going to look at me in more than one situation. It's their issue not mine. Tell your relatives to cut it out, OP, and feed your baby where ever you want and how it is most comfy for both of you. It's fine.