September 2013 Moms

Registry for third baby

My daughter is 13 years old and my son is 3 years old (they share a birthday too) so being that they are exactly ten years apart and I was young when I had my daughter, I did not keep all of her baby things.  For this reason, I did have a "complete" registry and a small baby shower when I was pregnant with my son. 

There will NOT be a shower for this baby.  I have started a registry, mostly so I can keep track of what I need, but recently made it "public" since a few people asked what I wanted/needed.  

I worked at Gymboree as a store manager when I was pregnant with my son, so I still have BINS of clothing that still has tags on it and have kept all of my sons things.   Everything is in fantastic condition, stain free...just perfect.  We are a military family, so we move frequently...I have everything very organized.  We will be moving this summer and likely moving again next spring (after that we should finally be somewhere for four years..that seems like eternity to me..lol) I really have all of his things.

The only things I need are probably newborn/preemie clothes and newborn diapers.I don't need a lot, but my son was pretty small when he was born (full-term and healthy, but he was 6 11, went down to 6 3 by the time we have left the hospital and since then has consistently been around the 2 percentile.   He fit easily in newborn clothes until he was 3 months old.  Maybe it won't work this way this time around, but since my daughter was bigger and grew quickly, I never bought a lot of newborn sized clothes for him.  I ended up only being able to find some stuff at Target that wore out pretty quickly, especially since he had reflux that meant we were washing clothes often.

As for the diapers, we cloth diaper, but since we had moved from the States to Germany when he was 2.5 months old, movers had come when he was a little over 2 months old and we had visited family for a few weeks before we moved...we waited until we got in a house in Germany to cloth diaper.   I don't have any newborn diapers because of this.  I also have some covers that are a bit worn out because they have been heavily used and we have hard water that seems to destroy diapers a bit...but I won't need to worry about that until 6ish months plus...and I am not too worried.

The thing is, we move so frequently, I do not want things that I absolutely do not need (mainly toys and clothes)  not only does it seem incredibly wasteful, we really do not have the luxury of having even MORE things we do not need.  I

Again, I am not going to have a shower and I am not going to put my registry out there for people unless they ask for it.  I was going to keep it private, but people kept asking...I just feel rude asking for gifts when this is my third baby and second boy.  We do NOT need much.  

My concern is that some of our family find registries to be "tacky" anyway.  They buy what they want.  I am expecting that to happen to some degree, but I really, really, REALLY do not want to have a ton of extra stuff I do not need.  I suppose I can always donate anything I do not need, but is that a jerky thing to do?  People bought me TONS of clothes for my sons shower and nobody really shopped off the registry anyway (even though they asked for it)  Both of my kids were breastfed, never took a bottle, never used a binky...we just don't need much of anything.

I would rather they not get anything than something that is going to make extra work for us in the middle of a lot of transition than be useful.  Does that make sense?  Is there a way to politely say "I have a TON of DS's things, we really need VERY little" or should I just suck it up and realize that I am going to be getting a lot of things we will never use.  I think people want to buy "fun" items, and I get that to a degree...but for the life of me, I cannot think of any "fun" items to put on the registry that are not just going to take up space. 

Ideas?

Seriously, I hardly have anything on my "registry"  I have less than 50 items on my list and most are repeats...like ___ amount of diaper covers, ___ number of prefolds.  

Re: Registry for third baby

  • Keep the registry private then email the link to those that are asking.
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  • I wouldn't do a registry for a third baby if you are not having a shower. Parents should buy what they need for their babies and not expect/ask others to do so. If you get a lot of stuff you don't need, you can always exchange it for what you want.

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  • Well that was quite possibly the longest way to ask how to return unwanted gifts I've ever seen.

    There is a big difference between a 10 yr gap and a 3 yr one, people may not be showering you with as much stuff as you are expecting.  All you can do is hope for gift receipts and start an ebay/resale storage bin.


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  • image michelle7482:
    I wouldn't do a registry for a third baby if you are not having a shower. Parents should buy what they need for their babies and not expect/ask others to do so. If you get a lot of stuff you don't need, you can always exchange it for what you want.

    Like I said, the registry started as a simple list of what I needed.  It was for myself.  We are more than able to buy everything ourselves.  I would be fine if we didn't get a single gift.  As far as exchanging things, I don't mind that either...it is just going to be a lot of work for us since we will be unpacking, only to repack our things a few months later.  It is going to be a hectic few months and the last thing I want/need is to exchange a bunch of stuff at wal-mart.  I would probably donate it.  That being said, I know certain people will expect to see pictures of baby in the outfit they purchased or whatever.  I would be happiest with not getting anything.

  • image L&R70707:

    Well that was quite possibly the longest way to ask how to return unwanted gifts I've ever seen.

    There is a big difference between a 10 yr gap and a 3 yr one, people may not be showering you with as much stuff as you are expecting.  All you can do is hope for gift receipts and start an ebay/resale storage bin.

    I will probably donate all unwanted things at this point.  My life is going to be too hectic to bother with exchanging things.  We will move stateside one month, be unpacking the next month, having baby the following month, husband will start army school the following month...and we just have other random things going on each month.  I am not complaining, it is military life and expected...but the way it is looking, the movers will be likely be packing our stuff March of 2014 to go to following duty station (who knows where) and...I tend to start preparing for a move 2 months out...so we will be doing that in Dec/Jan time frame.  Between that craziness and a new baby...I would rather NOT do extra things, so donating is fine.  I am just going to hurt someone's feelings when I donate their outfit and they never see a pic of kiddo in it.

    I also do think that people WILL shower us with gifts...it is the way our family/friends operate.  I wouldn't worry if it was just a few things. 

     

  • Blah, I am over thinking it I guess.  I can always toss things into a bin or box and bring it to the thrift shop on post.  I am sure some young spouse will be happy with it.  I wish I could make everyone happy, but they are going to get what they want regardless.
  • image beatingIF:
    Keep the registry private then email the link to those that are asking.

    This is the way I have been going about it.  Before I had it completely private so only me and my husband could see it.  If we placed an Amazon order for something and needed to get to the 25 dollar free shipping amount, we would add an item in.  ;) It is the people I am emailing the list to that I am worrying about.  Some will be fine, but there are some who really want to hear "Oh, get me anything you would like, have fun shopping"  :P

  • image michelle7482:
    I wouldn't do a registry for a third baby if you are not having a shower. Parents should buy what they need for their babies and not expect/ask others to do so. If you get a lot of stuff you don't need, you can always exchange it for what you want.

    There is nothing wrong with doing a private registry for the completion discount, but I don't think a registry for a second or third child should be shared.  

    OP, I think you will get less than you think. Also, you can try to return anything you receive that you don't need or want. Otherwise, donating is always a great idea.  


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  • I did a registry just for the completion discount.  Our, son is only 21 months old, though, so I'm not expecting people to really buy anything from there since we just had showers less than two years ago.  

     

    I have found this time around that people have been really into the idea of gift cards, which is AWESOME because I can stockpile for whatever we want.  We don't really need very much so most of what was on my registry was "fluff" anyway.  I think when it's your second or third baby, people are probably just going to give you whatever they want to give you, especially since your youngest is only 3.  There's nothing wrong with donating things, but I'll also say, if I gave someone something that was heartfelt or personal and they gave it away, I might be a little hurt about it.

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  • I see nothing wrong with doing a registry for any number baby, if people want to buy for the baby than why not get what you need, and if people think it is ridiculous then don't look up the registry.

    We are registering for a third baby, my kids are will all be at least 8yrs apart and we have nothing for the baby + it is my SO's first and only child so his family wants to be involved.  Obviously everyones situation is different but if you want to register your baby you don't need to justify it. 

  • image sewlovely:

    I see nothing wrong with doing a registry for any number baby, if people want to buy for the baby than why not get what you need, and if people think it is ridiculous then don't look up the registry.

    We are registering for a third baby, my kids are will all be at least 8yrs apart and we have nothing for the baby + it is my SO's first and only child so his family wants to be involved.  Obviously everyones situation is different but if you want to register your baby you don't need to justify it. 

    I really don't think it is a big deal either way, but I really was doing it just for myself. We always planned on keeping it private and more as a "shopping list" for ourselves.  I see military friends have showers for each baby as they move around and get rid of stuff so often...but for me, I would feel super uncomfortable having a shower or giving my "registry" to people unless they asked for it.  

     

  • I have a public registry, but I'm not telling people about it UNLESS they ask.
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  • I would do a registry for a third baby, if only for the completion discount.  And honestly, as tacky as it sounds, return/exchange things that people might buy you to get things you need.  People want to be helpful, but usually they are selfish (yes I know I said it and I know its the thought that counts, not the gift itself...) and people just want to shop.  And wanting to shop, they want to pick cute things like toys and clothes, and blankets. That's all fine and well for a first, but when you get to your second and third, there are really very few things you really do need/want as gifts like diapers or replacement breastfeeding items or the newest baby proofing hardware (the not-so-fun-stuff) and people tend to avoid those as gifts.  I say to mention to people to save the gift receipt because your first two children WERE SOOO DIFFERENT and you just don't know what to expect this time and may have to exchange.  It's hard to guess sizes/weights for babies anyways these days and your good friends should understand this possibility.
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  • If you don't need anything, then say that.  Period.  If someone insists, you could just say "diapers" or "something small" or [insert name of something specifically small, like pacifiers].  
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