June 2013 Moms

Breastfeeding fears

As a FTM I think I am more nervous about breast feeding than giving birth. My whole life I was against it saying I would never do it but the moment I got pregnant I knew I would do anything that was best for my baby and have decided How important breastfeeding is. I know having anxiety over it is the last thing that will help but I worry about everything. I have very small somewhat flat nipples and wonder if my baby will be able to latch or if those breast shells really help...? Also I have been leaking colostrum for a long time and it comes out I one side way more than the other i am hoping thats normal.This post is more for support other other FTM feeling the same and do any second time moms have any advice? TIA

Re: Breastfeeding fears

  • I'm with you on this one. I'm really nervous about it and scared that I won't be able to. But certainly going to try. I will tell you that I went to a breastfeeding class at the hospital yesterday and it helped me understand some things that will absolutely affect the nursing experience like proper latching, how to hold the breast to help get the baby and the ideal position to not have any pain. Might be worth seeing if you have a local one to attend. Good luck!
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  • skioskio
    5000 Comments 250 Answers Fifth Anniversary 250 Love Its
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    I'm glad you are trying, that's wonderful.

    BFing is not a walk in the park for everyone, but it's not difficult or painful for everyone, either. I can honestly say that they only problem I had with BFing was pain in my right nip for maybe a week. I had a wonderful supply and a baby that learned quickly; I was very lucky.

    First, leakage has nothing to do with how you will produce milk. I never leaked during my first pregnancy and had the wonderful experience I just described. I have not leaked this time, either. So don't waste worry over leaking.

    Know that your body is made to do this. Relaxing is a good part of allowing thing to happen as they should, so I would suggest maybe reading up on some stuff on La Leche League and reading The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. I also had a book calls Breastfeeding Made Simple the first time around that I skimmed and found helpful. A class may also help ease your worries.

    And make sure to use all the help you can get at the hospital. Some of the nurses may also be lactation consultants; ask right away if you can have someone come help you with latch. Bring nipple shields if you are worried about your nips not being big enough; it can't hurt to try. And continue to ask for help, there's no shame in getting advice! La Leche League should be able to direct you to LCs in your area who can come to your home and help out if you're having trouble.

    And never quit on a bad day. It may take some time to be worry free and for you and baby to learn, but once you get there, it's the best thing in the world.
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  • Don't fear about breastfeeding. It's actually not as hard as people say it is. I breastfed both my kids- and plan to with this baby too. When I had DS1 I had a lactation consultant come in and help me out in the hospital. It was pretty helpful, so I would suggest that. Don't worry about the size of your nipples, I assure you, your baby will be able to nurse with what you have. It is very normal that you are leaking colostrum right now, even if it is more on one site.

    My advice to you, is when you start nursing, don't tense up and stress if you and your baby get frustrated. Remember, your baby has never nursed either and it's something they have to learn too. Nurse is a quiet room with as little distraction as possible until you and baby get the hang of it. Make sure baby has a good latch. You can tell when baby has a good latch when they are latched it should not hurt your nipple, if there is pain the baby isn't latched correctly. (you may experience pain like contractions when you are nursing for the first couple of days, this is your uterus contraction back down to size, and totally normal) again...when or if you feel this, try not to tense your body up, and just breath like you will during labor. You may not experience it, I didn't when I had DS1.

    You never know, your baby could come out and just know what to do. DS2 came out and I put him right on my boob, and he turned his head and latched right on, with no problems!! I did have contractions with him when he nursed for a day or so, and I just had to breath through them.

    You will get the hang of it- don't be scared. It's actually very easy when you and baby both learn how to do it.

     

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  • With both of my previous pregnancies my right boob produced about twice as much as my left. That being said it has never cause a problem with feeding. I have tried feeding more or pumping more on the left and it just doesn't catch up to the right.

    If you are planning on pumping at all, make sure to buy a smaller guard. I had the same problem and thought that I wasn't producing enough to pump. It turned out that I just had the wrong latch on the pump because my nipples are smaller then the average size that they comes with the pump.

    Relaxing as others have said is great advice and drink LOTS of water. It's hard to be uptight or nervous once you start. I think the act of breastfeeding is very relaxing and there is nothing in the world that compares to it. You'll be great and make sure to ask the lactation specialist questions. 

  • Worrying about it now is not going to help. Just try to relax and take it one day at a time. The second you feel like you are having difficulty with it, call a lactation consultant. You might not have any trouble at all! 

    Breastfeeding isn't easy for everyone. I was one who struggled big time, but I made it to 16 months with DS! It's one of the best gifts you can give your child. Also, having a supportive spouse is half the battle. You'll spend a lot of time in the first few weeks just sitting around nursing. Don't be afraid to tell DH what you need from him: lots of water, snacks, a magazine...words of encouragement. 

    A word of advice about nipple shields- don't use them unless you absolutely have to. They aren't meant for long term use and can make it easy for baby to not learn to latch properly.  


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  • Thank you ladies so much it's is so comforting to hear encouragement as most of my friends just tell horror stories about it. I am sign up for a breastfeeding class this week so hopefully it will ease my mind even more. It's just so important to me that it works I hope it comes easy and natural for me. I hope y'all have a good Sunday !
  • My bust size makes for large an fairly flat nipples so this was a concern for me as well. I asked the lactation specialist that works in L and D and she said that even women with inverted nipples can nurse no problem sometimes women have to just work extra hard to find the right position for successful feeding. I'm sure your hospital has resources and will help you when you're ready to try latching.
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  • amiet79amiet79
    250 Answers 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
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    image skio:
    I'm glad you are trying, that's wonderful. BFing is not a walk in the park for everyone, but it's not difficult or painful for everyone, either. I can honestly say that they only problem I had with BFing was pain in my right nip for maybe a week. I had a wonderful supply and a baby that learned quickly; I was very lucky. First, leakage has nothing to do with how you will produce milk. I never leaked during my first pregnancy and had the wonderful experience I just described. I have not leaked this time, either. So don't waste worry over leaking. Know that your body is made to do this. Relaxing is a good part of allowing thing to happen as they should, so I would suggest maybe reading up on some stuff on La Leche League and reading The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. I also had a book calls Breastfeeding Made Simple the first time around that I skimmed and found helpful. A class may also help ease your worries. And make sure to use all the help you can get at the hospital. Some of the nurses may also be lactation consultants; ask right away if you can have someone come help you with latch. Bring nipple shields if you are worried about your nips not being big enough; it can't hurt to try. And continue to ask for help, there's no shame in getting advice! La Leche League should be able to direct you to LCs in your area who can come to your home and help out if you're having trouble. And never quit on a bad day. It may take some time to be worry free and for you and baby to learn, but once you get there, it's the best thing in the world.

    All good advice. Try not to stress out too much, OP. I know that's easier said than done, but it's true.  

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  • Faith7Faith7
    Long-Lasting Membership 100 Comments 5 Love Its
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    FTM here.  I was really worried about this, too.  There's so much information available about how difficult it is, and what to expect, and potential problems, and so forth.  I called my mom to worry to her.

    She said that when I was born ('74) breastfeeding was mostly just a "hippie thing" and she wasn't anywhere near being a hippie.  But when her dr. began to talk to her about formula and stuff, she told him she was going to breastfeed.  He was surprised questioned her choice.  She shrugged and said something like, "Formula's great if you need it, but there are women all around the world who feed babies without formula.  Isn't that what these two things are for?  I want to try it and see." 

    Of course there was no "rooming in" or that sort of thing, but she said they brought me to her from the nursery and said, "Time for you to feed her."  Her mom was there and told her, "That baby's hungry--you better feed her!"  So she did.

    I started asking her about latches and positions and so forth. She said she didn't really know, that no one had showed her.  She said it's just something you work on with your baby until you both figure it out.  She said it hurt for about 2 weeks or so, then everything was good.

    That really helped reassure me.  If she could figure it out without any guidance, I guess we'll be able to with all the support and information available.

  • I've known a few people who have used breast shields due yo inverted nipples, they were able to wean off of them fine,
  • image Faith7:

    ...She shrugged and said something like, "Formula's great if you need it, but there are women all around the world who feed babies without formula.  Isn't that what these two things are for?  I want to try it and see."

    This is my thinking exactly. 

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  • image skio:
    I'm glad you are trying, that's wonderful. BFing is not a walk in the park for everyone, but it's not difficult or painful for everyone, either. I can honestly say that they only problem I had with BFing was pain in my right nip for maybe a week. I had a wonderful supply and a baby that learned quickly; I was very lucky. First, leakage has nothing to do with how you will produce milk. I never leaked during my first pregnancy and had the wonderful experience I just described. I have not leaked this time, either. So don't waste worry over leaking. Know that your body is made to do this. Relaxing is a good part of allowing thing to happen as they should, so I would suggest maybe reading up on some stuff on La Leche League and reading The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. I also had a book calls Breastfeeding Made Simple the first time around that I skimmed and found helpful. A class may also help ease your worries. And make sure to use all the help you can get at the hospital. Some of the nurses may also be lactation consultants; ask right away if you can have someone come help you with latch. Bring nipple shields if you are worried about your nips not being big enough; it can't hurt to try. And continue to ask for help, there's no shame in getting advice! La Leche League should be able to direct you to LCs in your area who can come to your home and help out if you're having trouble. And never quit on a bad day. It may take some time to be worry free and for you and baby to learn, but once you get there, it's the best thing in the world.

     

     

    All of this!  Reading the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding is great.  And If you can go to a LLL meeting before baby and talk to some moms about your thoughts/fears/feelings it may help put you at ease some.

     

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  • Im another FTM with the same worries. I need to print this thread and read it every day til I deliver. So much good encouragement here, thanks ladies!
  • kread8kread8
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fifth Anniversary Name Dropper
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    I am totally with you on this.  I am much more nervous about breastfeeding than giving birth.  I really, really, really want to breastfeed so I hope that I can make it work for us.

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