June 2013 Moms

I can't do this anymore...........

I am so sick of people calling me big, telling me it's got to be twins.  I can't keep balling my eyes out everyday anymore and being depressed.  I have never had my feelings hurt so much until I became pregnant.  I think this will be my first and last child.  Sorry I am not 100 pounds and am disgusting to you. I thought this was suppose to be a happy time in life.  I feel ashamed and ugly of my body.
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Re: I can't do this anymore...........

  • Don't say that! I know it's hard, but who cares what other people think? It sounds like you are having a rough time handling comments. I'm guessing they aren't intentionally being rude. People just don't know how to act around pregnant women. Have you considered talking to someone, a good friend, family member, or even a therapist, about how you are feeling?
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  • Try not to let them get to you. You have a miracle growing inside of you right now. It is beautiful and so are you!!!

    Distance yourself from those people as much as possible especially if they are repeat offenders!  

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  • The comments suck. People are stupid and think its funny. I agree that you may need to seek help from your doctor, a good friend or therapist. If you are feeling depressed daily then that is not okay. Your baby can feel your emotions. Please try to get help for yourself. I hope you willful better soon. We are almost done with this part of the journey and the reward is sweet!
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  • image I Love my Dave:
    I am so sick of people calling me big, telling me it's got to be twins.  I can't keep balling my eyes out everyday anymore and being depressed.  I have never had my feelings hurt so much until I became pregnant.  I think this will be my first and last child.  Sorry I am not 100 pounds and am disgusting to you. I thought this was suppose to be a happy time in life.  I feel ashamed and ugly of my body.

    Awe sweety it's ok *big hug* people don't think before they speak or it sounds better in their head. You are absolutely beautiful and so is this sweet baby that you are carrying.

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  • YakutYakut
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    I am so sorry--I can relate, because I've never been able to let it roll off my back. It kind of inexplicably stopped now that I'm at Week 33, which is weird--I'm bigger now than I was starting at Week 24 or so when I first started hearing it incessantly. And I have lots of body dysmorphia issues, and was self-conscious about the contrast between my (yes, rather large, but within range) bump and the rest of me, which did not really change, or actually got a bit thinner. I felt like I was doing pregnancy wrong and that you're supposed to gain weight all over and not have such a visible bump, and the comments I'd get from strangers every time I stepped outside for more than literally five minutes made me feel like a freak. My therapist says that I just look more comfortable with my body now and it makes my bump look smaller, but I'm not really buying it.

     But these were some plans I was tossing around, because I often freeze in the moment and am not comfortable telling people to f*** off:

    *I make a sign out of a paper plate on a stick (like a popsicle stick--I know, this is weird) that says, "are you my doctor? Didn't think so. In that case, please keep it to yourself." I usually have a canvas tote with me, so my plan was to just whip the paper-plate sign out all mime-like and point to it and smile.  If they started stuttering or protesting or getting offended, I was just going to nod and point to it again and smile again. Then, I was thinking of writing "F*** you!" on the back and only showing that part if it was really necessary.

    *I make a button that basically says the same thing, even if it's "I don't want to hear about it" with an arrow pointing downwards towards my belly. But then I was reluctant to do this one because a) cost--gotta get them made somewhere--and b) it might also deflect compliments.

    Anyway, I hope it gets better for you! Just so you know, you have every right to be upset. 

  • People are cruel and dumb.

    You are brave. You are strong. You are amazing. You are beautiful. You are noble. You are majestic. Sending oodles of hugs and lots of prayers.

    I hope you find somebody you can talk to about this sadness and depression. PM me if you need to. I have been in your shoes.
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  • People are such idiots and seem to lose all tact with pregnant women.  You have a little miracle growing inside and that is beautiful, even if its hard to feel that way sometimes. Keep your head up!
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  • That sucks that you are feeling so badly about yourself. At first comments got on my nerves a little and then I learned to take a different approach and used what comes naturally. Sarcasm. Now I just look at them like they're stupid and give them the old, "really? i had no clue this would happen when I got pregnant" sort of response. They usually let it go after that.

    I know this doesn't help what you're already going through but it's an approach that worked for me.

     
  • You can't let this get to you. People know you are expected to get big, that's why people assume their comments are okay to say. I've only gained 13 lbs thanks to some serious morning sickness that has never really resolved and people tell me how huge I am, even though I'm still in a sz 4 or a small. Nearly all the time they aren't trying to be hurtful. If you can, point out to these folks that you are sensitive about your body image right now and some times it's not your favorite thing to hear about how much bigger you've gotten.
  • skioskio
    5000 Comments 250 Answers Fifth Anniversary 250 Love Its
    member
    Oh, mama, I'm sorry you're feeling like this. I'll just ditto the others that people who make comments like that are just so completely ignorant that they don't know what they're saying.

    What you and your body have done is AMAZING and beautiful. It's not easy to watch the scale tick up and up and remember that it's all for good. But it is. Hang in there, and I promise that when you have that baby in your arms, you'll know that it was all worth it. Hugs.
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  • Start telling them off and then comment on their weight. Don't let them get to you like that.




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    Proud Mama to Mickey (12.03.09) and Nemo (06.06.13)

  • I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. It can be really hard to watch your body change and then be suddenly open to so many comments and criticisms from people that a person wouldn't otherwise be. I swear that pregnant people are the last segment of the population where others feel that it is okay to make whatever comments people feel like making.

    Early in my pregnancy, a coworker (a mother herself, who should know better) asked me, "Was this planned?"  WTF? When and why and how is that an acceptable question for any pregnant woman you don't have a very close, personal relationship with? Even then, it would be touchy and you'd have to know your relationship well, IMO.

    I've heard - "You're huge! That must be one big baby!" To which I smiled wryly and said, "Thanks, I hadn't noticed. And baby is right on track."

    You can't let other people get you so down, though. And they certainly shouldn't be making you feel like you never want to have another child based solely on random comments! I know you probably don't really mean that such a personal decision would come from rude comments but I understand the feeling - "Eff this noise! I'm not doing THIS again!"

    There's hormone-induced sensitivity and then there's something more to it. If you're feeling depressed every day...then yes, I'd definately talk to your OB next visit. But if it's run of the mill sensitivity, I'd work on brushing it off. It's hard this late in the game when EVERYONE is huge. We're all in the same boat! Heck, some of my maternity shirts don't even fit me anymore....which is why I am switching to dresses and reminding myself it's almost over.  

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  • ::hugs::  Honestly, I can completely relate.  It took me almost 10 years to do this again.  Wink  You certainly aren't alone. I'm not one of those "cute" pregnant girls.  I've gained 65 lbs.  My belly is HUGE but I've gained a lot of weight everywhere else too.  It's easier said than done, but try to let it just roll off.  You'll have a beautiful baby soon enough and the weight will come off.  You won't be so puffy, and with a little effort you can be back to your pre-pregnancy size (or close to it) soon enough.  I think it took me about 9 months to get back to "normal" last time and I gained 80lbs with DD1.  Hang in there.  You're in the final stretch.
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  • I'm so sorry. People suck at life. I you're really depressed you should look into counseling. Sometimes just venting to someone who is a neutral party can help a ton.

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    CJ 05/29/2013

  • Faith7Faith7
    Ancient Membership 100 Comments 5 Love Its
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    (((hugs)))

    Are people really implying that you're disgusting and fat?  Or is that mostly how you feel when they make their stupid remarks?  Could they be attempting to admire your healthy bump and the fact that your body is so awesome it can actually house & nurture another human being?  Other than their remarks, is there something else causing you to feel fat and unattractive rather than strong and womanly?

    It's hard to have people commenting on your body and your reproduction.  It's just none of their business, really.  But I think the fact that they do comment indicates that they assume it's a good thing so they are allowed to remark.  If you really were just plain huge and fat, so many people would hardly be making comments about it. 

    I tell myself all this stuff, but I still get annoyed, too.  A random woman in Wal-Mart today did a double take, said, "Wow. Don't let that baby drop out!" laughing as she kept on walking.  I had to bite my tongue to keep from making a scene.

  • You are doing a beautiful thing growing that baby, don't let anyone make you feel different... 

     There was a post a while back with a blog link from a women who had body issues before she was pregnant but after the birth she loved the body she had, for birthing her daughter... If anyone remembers that or can find it, it'd be good to post again  

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  • I renounce the lie ni Jesus name that you are anything other than beautiful,strong, and precious!

     

    hang in there mama .

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