Limbo sucks arse. For ten days I've basically been in the mindset that I'm not pg. Not even that I'm pg but the baby isn't growing, just flat out not pg. I still avoid my pg nonos, but that's it. I'm so mad I can't at least enjoy the time I have with this LO. It's like I'm ignoring that this little baby inside me exists. It sucks and I hate it.
I'm tired of being mad when I get symptoms. I don't seem them as hopeful, I see them as annoying. Every time I feel m/s or constipated I literally get mad at my body and ask why it's flucking with me and giving me these symptoms if there's no baby growing in there.
I wish it could be different, but I think losing 5 babies has turned my heart, or at least the wall around it, to stone. Oh yea, and I actually walk around thinking and saying to DH that we've lost 6 babies already. My heart isn't even giving this baby a chance, and that sucks hard core.
Screw you universe.