May 2013 Moms

breastfeeding decision

When deciding to breastfeed did you take your husband's thoughts/feelings into consideration or did you figure my boobs my decision?
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Re: breastfeeding decision

  • I always take my husbands thoughts and feelings into consideration. But because of the tremendous commitment it takes, I would say my boobs my decision. 
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  • I never really thought about it. I tried it with my first 5 years ago before MH and I even knew each other. When we got pregnant I told him I wanted to try it again and he said ok. This time around he just assumed I'd try again.

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  • HZ2012HZ2012
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    I considered BF b/c my husband wants me to. After I did enough research and reading about it, I then decided that I wanted to as well. No one in my family ever had, so I just naturally imagined I'd bottle feed. But after learning so much about it, I'm going for it. And of course it's a bonus that we both agree on it :) 

     


  • There really wasn't a discussion.  We both were on the same page, so we are breastfeeding.

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  • It's always good to be on the same page as your DH, but if my DH was against it, I would totally fight for it.   

    Keep in mind breastfeeding is cheaper than formula, breast milk is always available (you don't have to run to the store in the middle of the night), breast milk changes to supply your baby with what it needs as it grows and develops, breast milk provides antibodies that protect the baby from illness, and breast milk is amazing at prepping baby's gut for solids later in life.

    If he's against it, I recommend he go to a breastfeeding class with you and become educated on the subject.

    P.S. not trying to start a FF vs BF debate - just stating some BFing facts for OP to share w/ her husband. 

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  • I had a really hard time breast feeding DS1. It probably wasn't comfortable for almost 14 weeks! If it wasn't so important to DH and myself, obviously I wouldn't have stuck with it. He was very supportive though.
  • We both shared the same thoughts so it wasn't ever an issue to us. We always knew I would breastfeed our LO's (assuming we didn't have huge difficulties) for the health benefits. Plus, I've read that breastfeeding your kids can reduce your chances of getting breast cancer later.

    Also, DH and I had genetic testing done a few years ago and we both have genes that indicate that if we were breastfed, it likely gave us a few extra IQ points. So that was another reason we were both on board with it from the start.

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  • I talked about it with my husband, but it was along the lines of "I want to breastfeed!" and him saying "yay, we'll save money!" And that was the end of that.
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  • image botanicalbliss:

    It's always good to be on the same page as your DH, but if my DH was against it, I would totally fight for it.  

    Absolutely. I would also insist that he educates himself on the issue, because having the support of your partner is incredibly important. No one in C's family had breastfed until his SIL had her first. MIL thinks it's silly. But once he saw the benefits of it he was totally on board.

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  • CNJ4EVACNJ4EVA
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    He was actually the one adamant about breastfeeding. I want to and am going to give it my best effort, but he is going to be very unhappy if for some reason it doesn't work out, whereas I am totally ok with formula feeding if need be.
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  • From the get go, I knew breastfeeding was what I wanted. Frankly, it made him a little uncomfortable at first, but I think he knew it was a battle he was going to lose, so he didn't give me any push back (cloth diapering on the other hand....). However, I have already announced that I will likely nurse wherever/whenever my baby is hungry, and that makes him slightly uncomfortable. He hopes I'll be a little more discreet/modest, although I refuse to sit on a public toilet in a bathroom stall to feed my child. I think we're going to have to play it by ear when it comes to Nursing in Public. Once Alonso and I get the hang of it, and I can get him latched without putting my whole boob on display, i think the hubs will be fine. 
  • image MmW36:
    I talked about it with my husband, but it was along the lines of "I want to breastfeed!" and him saying "yay, we'll save money!" And that was the end of that.

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  • We never really talked about it much. I told him I wanted to try breastfeeding our LO and he thought it was a great idea. I guess I got lucky that our opinions didn't differ. 
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  • Regarding nursing in public and being uncomfortable with flashing everyone: I am a pretty modest person but managed to make it work with my first son. Nursing in your car is a great option. I would turn on the AC on the hotter days, crawl into the backseat, and nurse DS under my nursing cover. It was comfortable and private for both of us. I did that at an outdoor wedding as well.

    In restaurants or stores, I would drag a chair into the restroom (figured at least I wasn't nursing on the toilet, ugh) or, preferably, find a small, quiet, tucked away area and nurse there with my cover on. Alternatively, I would just excuse myself from the table and take DS out to the car and nurse him there. Everyone was very understanding.

    You can make it work. :) 

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  • To my recollection we never discussed it, we just both knew I would try (and hopefully succeed).
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  • blush64blush64
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    No one's business but mine if I want to breastfeed.

    Would you ask a formula feeding mom if she asked her husband's opinion on if she should formula feed her child?

    I can't imagine a grown man having an issue with breastfeeding.
  • image blush64:
    No one's business but mine if I want to breastfeed. Would you ask a formula feeding mom if she asked her husband's opinion on if she should formula feed her child? I can't imagine a grown man having an issue with breastfeeding.

    I think the father of the child should be allowed input into how that child is fed regardless of BF vs. FF. Decisions about the child should be made jointly, though I do agree the mother's opinion may hold more weight considering it's her body/time, etc (if we're talking BFing).

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  • Boo0512Boo0512
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    My DH and I were lucky to be 100% on the same page. We both agree that BFing is the best choice given that we don't have any major complications with it. I know that he would have been very upset if I chose to FF.

    Although I'm very pro-BFing, I do ultimately think it is the mother's choice. Hopefully in most cases the DH/SO is supportive.

    I was having this discussion with my BFF last week and she told me that her DH thinks that BFing is "disgusting and barbaric and that as humans we have evolved past that." Indifferent I told her good luck with that as she wants to BF (someday).


  • MH is very Pro-Breastfeeding.  I definitely took that into consideration with my first even though I too am Pro-Breastfeeding.  I think more than anything, it just helps when you are both on the same page.

    They may be your boobs, but if you decide to BF, you will need support and help.  It will be much harder to do if you don't have support.  If you decide not to BF and SO is for it strongly, you might be in for some arguments.

    I "quit" breastfeeding my daughter at least 3x in the first 3 months.  Each time, MH supported my decision although he wished I would reconsider.  He knew how hard it was (Mastitis sucks).  Each time, I kept going - mostly because I knew he had my back and "you never quit on a bad day". 

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  • I didn't have a strong opinion either way. H is actually the one who did the research and expressed his desire for me to breastfeed.  Sure, why not! All my friends did it too so I will have plenty of support.
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  • kmcd23kmcd23
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    I hadn't even considered that he might not agree. Does that make me a bad wife? LOL. I told him I wanted to breast feed. I'm pretty sure he said, 'I figured.' And that was that.

    I guess it would just be hard for me to imagine a viable reason for him to argue against it. Not saying FF is bad, wrong, etc. But what reason could a husband give against breast feeding? 
  • We were both on the same page so there was never any discussion per se. My H understands the commitment involved and said he would help me in any way he could by other means.
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  • image blush64:
    No one's business but mine if I want to breastfeed. Would you ask a formula feeding mom if she asked her husband's opinion on if she should formula feed her child? I can't imagine a grown man having an issue with breastfeeding.

    Some men do have issues with breastfeeding and some have issues with formula feeding. 

    The most important thing at pay here is communicating what and why as adults in a relationship and as new parents.

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  • My husband's opinion is "my boobs, my decision" although if it was up to him alone, he would choose breastfeeding. His ex chose to bottle feed and although that isn't the choice he would have made, he supported her. I am planning to breastfeed (and would have regardless of his opinion) and he is happy I chose that option.

    That being said I mentioned to him that my mom was a La Leche League leader for over 25 years so that if I ran into problems I could always call her for help. He seemed confused that there could be problems or that it could be difficult.

    So either way the two of you are leaning, it is good to go to a class or do research to get educated. 

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  • I never questioned breastfeeding, therefore neither has DH. He wants me to BF.
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  • Ana0927Ana0927
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    We never really discussed it because we both just assumed its what I would do. I wanted to do it because of the benefits and he wants me to do it because its cheaper than formula Smile

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  • Since I was a stay at home mom with our daughter (10 years ago) so we decided that I should give it a try.  Not to mention it is so much better for baby. 

    The only thing different this time is I am pumping and bottle feeding instead of breast.   We had talked about this prior to or son being born, the decision was finalized by our son who was a preemie and had trouble latching on.   Their are benefits, for us, to pumping not only can I feed him but if I am busy, need to run to town, or just exhausted my husband can take over.

    My husband has always supported me 100%

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  • DH is involved in every decision we make.  There are a lot of things that he trusts me about, and there are things that he does his own research on.  Breastfeeding was one of the subjects that he educated himself about.   He is very supportive of nursing, particularly EBFing, and was even happy to go to breastfeeding class with me. 


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  • I knew I wanted to try it, even though I was scared. I don't remember having much discussion about it with DH.... I wanted to try it and he was very supportive of it....so, it was easy for us.

    Now, if we were disagreeing about it, yes, I would consider his feelings. It's his baby too, and he lacks the ability to nurse the baby himself without medications to make him lactate!
  • blush64blush64
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    image BeesMomma00:

    image blush64:
    No one's business but mine if I want to breastfeed. Would you ask a formula feeding mom if she asked her husband's opinion on if she should formula feed her child? I can't imagine a grown man having an issue with breastfeeding.

    Some men do have issues with breastfeeding and some have issues with formula feeding. 

    The most important thing at pay here is communicating what and why as adults in a relationship and as new parents.

    EDIT I wanted to add, I answered this from my point of view and how we live. I wasn't meaning that everyone should think the same way we do.  

    I am not a new parent. I have two teens already. I am also incredibly upfront with my husband as he is with me. I breastfed my two sons when they were born and he was aware of that a long time ago. There was no question I would again. I don't see breastfeeding as a joint decision.

    What if I didn't want to? It would be equally wrong for him to try and force it as to try and stop it. It's my body and there's no medical or health reason for me not to breastfeed while there are health benefits to do so.

    I do know some men have issues with breastfeeding but their issues shouldn't affect something that I see as beneficial to the health of my baby. I said I can't imagine it because as a fully grown man I would assume he would be aware that breasts feed babies. (if the woman chooses to and is able to) If he has an issue with "sharing" or something similar then he should deal with that issue. Talking about it is fine, explaining the reasons on both sides is fine. Expecting to be the one to make the decision is not. (in my opinion) 

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