October 2012 Moms

NICU moms - need advice

I have a coworkers who's wife just gave birth last Friday at about 33 weeks.  Their DS is in the NICU and from what we can tell he is not doing well.  He isn't breathing on his own and they have alluded to other problems.

What can we do to help?  They sound so defeated right now.  

If it matters...we have hung out together outside of work, but i wouldn't consider them close friends. Also, they have 2 older boys.

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BFP #1 11/2009 natural m/c 1/2010 10 wks
BFP #2 1/27/2012 He's here!! 

Re: NICU moms - need advice

  • Make some dinners they can heat up. When we were going back and forth the last thing on my mind was what we were going to eat. Since they already have children, it probably would be very helpful.

     

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  • image Jessica614:

    Make some dinners they can heat up. When we were going back and forth the last thing on my mind was what we were going to eat. Since they already have children, it probably would be very helpful.

     

    This was going to be my suggestion too, I wasn't a nicu mama, but my sister was.  She was so stressed dinner was the last thing on her mind. 

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

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  • I went in for my 37 week ultrasound on a Friday and didn't come home until the next Wednesday after being discharged after my c-section. Our baby was in the NICU for two weeks. 

    Our neighbor was a life saver those first few days. She went and did all of my laundry and did my dishes. I realize this isn't possible for everyone...but I was so grateful. I was not at all prepared to have our baby two weeks earlier than our scheduled c-section.

    I agree with others about meals. Even just having some easy food in the house would be nice - milk, coffee, cereal, fruit, and things that you can grab and go. As soon as we got up in the morning we were heading back to the hospital to see our LO.  When we got home we ate something that resembled a meal and crashed for the night. Of course, I was still having to get up and pump.

    We also had neighbors who pooled together some money to give us a prepaid Visa to cover parking charges at the hospital.  That was a huge help!
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  • Everything that's been mentioned before is right on target. My friend brought me snacks in the NICU (because time there moves very strangely and sometimes you have to be prodded to eat), made sure I had advil if I needed it, etc. She was sort of like my pit crew and I adore her for it. 

    She probably won't be able to drive for a while if she went C-section, so making yourself available to drive her if DH can't is huge.

    Also, if they're okay with it and want it, this is something that was amazing for us in NICU - same friend came and snapped photos - photos with us caring for the babies, with grandparents holding babies, nurses we loved. Even when the kids were tiny and not really allowed out of their incubators except to feed, we had photos of all of us together, starting our lives. I still see those photos and I am so grateful that she very unobtrusively documented that part of our story.

    Little boy will be in my prayers - the NICU is a tough place to be, and they have a long road ahead. 

    ttc since June 2010. 
    Our prayers were answered October 16th, 2012.
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  • We were only there 5 days - and I never left the hospital.  We loved snacks...as mentioned above - eating seems to be hard to remember and having snacks where you don't have to leave the room was great.

    I also had a cousin pass down cafeteria gift cards that she didn't use when she was there.  That was nice.

    Something that helps - that most don't think of:  Parking pass vouchers.  You can buy them discounted there, but it's still $7 a day.  My cousin also passed those down and now I've given them out to people I know who are staying.  

    Every little gesture helps. 


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  • Thanks for the suggestions! They all sound like great ideas.
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    BFP #1 11/2009 natural m/c 1/2010 10 wks
    BFP #2 1/27/2012 He's here!! 

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