Babies: 0 - 3 Months

How has your SO adjusted to LO?

I was just curious how everyone's SO has adjusted to baby. This is our 1st child and he did amazing at 1st, our LO is a very easy baby-eat, change diaper, sleep repeat for the 1st few weeks and he did great with that. Now that she's awake more and it's not always as straight forward as giving her a bottle he seems to not be near as patient.  "I fed her, changed her, and burped her and she's still fussy." Yes honey, she's a little over a month old, it happens, deep breath. Bare in mind he work's midnights 10pm-6am, he stays up a few hours in the morning sometimes and sleeps into the evenings, so I take care of her needs at night and in the evenings. I work out of the home from 9-5 and she's at a sitter during the day until I get home.  He gets so frustrated lately and it's starting to irritate me.  She's still so little, you telling her to quit crying in a somewhat stern voice isn't going to fix the problem nor does she understand it yet! Sorry for the mini rant.  How did your SO do with the learning curve of a baby? Bc this mom is about ready to strangle hers Smile 
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Re: How has your SO adjusted to LO?

  • My husband does not understand the concept that babies cry and fuss either.  The other night I was giving DD a bath upstairs and he was sitting with DS downstairs and I heard him fussing for about 5 of the 20 minutes I was upstairs, and as soon as I came down he said "I dont' know what's wrong with him, he was gong nuts the entire time you were gone". Keep in mind he was still sitting in the same spot in the recliner where I left him. He didn't try to walk around with him or change his diaper or anything. He cannot handle any amount of crying, and it drives me nuts. 

     

  • My husband has been WONDERFUL!! He has really stepped up and then some!!! I can honestly say I fell in love with him all over again just watching him with DD.

    Hopefully things get better. It is an adjustment.

  • Jcat123Jcat123
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    My DH had the first 2 weeks off and I thought he was superdad!  He was so patient and loving....then he went back to work.  He works regular hours, but had a hard time adjusting to the fact that after working all day, he couldn't just come home and be lazy.  He also went through a week long phase where listening to the baby cry would get him frustrated within minutes.  That annoyed the hell out of me because of course I had listened to her cry off and on all day!  At almost 8 weeks things are getting better.  I won't lie that we both had a hard time (and still do) not being able to do what we want when we want, but we are trying to laugh more and since DD has started having more of a personality, it has been easier for him to be patient with her.  I also constantly remind him (and myself) that she is so little, she's just a baby.  He has told me that helps and he thinks of that when he starts getting frustrated.  It will get better, I could've written your post 2 weeks ago.  :) 

  • MrsRKJMrsRKJ
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    image kelliejo74:

    My husband has been WONDERFUL!! He has really stepped up and then some!!! I can honestly say I fell in love with him all over again just watching him with DD.

    Hopefully things get better. It is an adjustment.

    This for me too.  And it's more special because our little fella was a preemie with some health issues and DH has stepped it up more than ever.  He's dealing with everything better than me!   

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  • Thanks ladies, it's nice to know mine isn't the only who is easily irritated.  My text to him the other day when he had to watch her for a few hours before my mom picked her up was "Have you duct taped our child to the wall yet."  He said no but we are NOT having any more kids and that I'm never getting any again bc it's too much of a risk lmao.  Hopefully it gets better when he sees more personality from her.  I can't imagine how hay wire he would be with a little one that requires more effort!
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  • DH had a really hard time with our first but he was colicky and high needs. This LO is MUCH easier and he knows how to cope better now when she is a little fussy.

    Now that our first is a toddler and much more interactive, their relationship has really flourished. Mama does better with the babies :
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  • My H is pretty good. His biggest thing is that LO must have a reason for crying. He's going to bankrupt us in diapers, because he says "oh, he must be wet"  I'll say, I just changed him, and ill find H in the nursery, changing his diaper. ::sigh:: 
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  • DH has been fantastic.  He's great at changing diapers and walking with DD, and holding/watching her while I shower, or try to get a couple extra hours of sleep.  My only complaint is that DH complains about the lack of sleep he's getting, and I shouldn't even complain about that because at least he gets up at night.  But he gets up and changes her diaper once at night, and then hands her off to me so she can BF, and then he's out.  He's up maybe ten minutes but it seems to screw with his sleep schedule.  He doesn't wake up to change her for the other two feedings, so he's still getting consecutive hours of sleep at a time.  Other than that he's been great.
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  • image kelliejo74:

    My husband has been WONDERFUL!! He has really stepped up and then some!!! I can honestly say I fell in love with him all over again just watching him with DD.

    Hopefully things get better. It is an adjustment.

    It is the same for me. It is so amazing watching him be a daddy.

  • image kellyrn9956:
    My H is pretty good. His biggest thing is that LO must have a reason for crying. He's going to bankrupt us in diapers, because he says "oh, he must be wet" nbsp;I'll say, I just changed him, and ill find H in the nursery, changing his diaper. ::sigh::nbsp;


    This is totally my DH, too. After he's touched all the bases, he brings her to me and says, "What is wrong?! Why is she crying?" I just tell him: "I know as much as you do." He is good with her, but he doesn't try very hard to figure out her little quirks.

    My favorite is when I try to go to sleep early and leave her with him. She will cry sporadically and I don't get to sleep because I hear her. Then he comes into the bedroom to ask me what is wrong with her. I do all the night feedings because he works, so sometimes I just want to get some early rest while he is awake!

    I would like to see him be a little more proactive in the evenings. Last week he disappeared after work and when I looked for him, he was in the office on FB. I really just needed a break and was not happy about that one!

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  • This is our second child, and I have to say that I am AMAZED by the difference! He comes home from work and wants to take both kids outside to play.  He even gets up at night to feed the baby every other night.  Not that my husband wasn't great when our daughter was an infant, he is just so much more relaxed this time around.  My only complaint would be that if Preston even makes a grouchy face, my husbands first instinct is to feed him!!!
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  • DH has been great with DS. He almost always insists on taking over watching Jake when he gets home from work, especially if I look frazzled or overly tired. He's a little less enthusiastic about MOTN duties, but aren't we all? Going on not a lot of sleep or getting up really early never bothered me- I used to be a teacher so I can go on very little sleep most days- but DH has always been a heavy/late sleeper, so I understand it's a major adjustment for him. Still, it was his idea for us to trade off shifts for MOTN duties so that i wouldn't be the only one doing it.

    It's a beautiful thing to see him playing with Jake too. It's like I'm seeing him in a different light, but not one that is all that surprising because he's always been playful and loving with me. I don't think you ever really truly understand the depths to which you can love your spouse until you see them showering love and affection on your child. Just when I thought I couldn't love my hubby anymore, Jake came along and showed me I could.
     
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  • Eh he's okay...this is our second one so we're kind of used to it. I do remember that I feel like he REALLY started becoming an amazing dad when our oldest turned one. I went to California for four days without them when he was 16 months old and he had no choice. At that point, he was eating regular food, walking, playing, etc. They really bonded.

    There isn't much for DH to do with the newbie...he works all day so he doesn't see him that much and I'm BFing. He'll try to soothe him when he fusses and change diapers and snuggle him, but often when he's fussy he'll say "what's with him?" kind of like he doesn't get that sometimes babies just fuss.


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