Multiples

Twin moms out there....

I am 7 weeks pregnant with twins and we are so excited. My husband travels a lot for his job so it will just be me a lot of the time. We are debating about moving back to our home town so we have family around, right now we have no one but friends. Being moms of twins were you able to do it with your husbands gone? It's just a lot of change at one time....

Re: Twin moms out there....

  • Toni828Toni828
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    I have 4 month old twins and it's a lot of work.  My mom comes to help me every day because my DH works full time.  On days that she is not with me, I think about how grateful I am to have her help.  It's not easy for me when I am at it alone.  If it is an option for you to be closer to family, it wouldn't be a bad idea IMO.
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  • I did it on my own since my husband had to go back to work right away.  I did it without help!  It was not easy at all, but once month 4 rolled around, things got alot more manageable.  It takes ALOT of patience.  Good luck!
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  • harti09harti09
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    We live on the opposite coast from all family, don't have too many friends in the area since we've been here less than a year, and DH has already been gone for a third of the twins life so far. He's leaving again for another five weeks soon. 

    Its tough at times, but totally doable. That said, if we had the option to be near family instead, we would. I can handle it on my own, but it would be nice to have the additional help when we wanted it.  

    B/G TWINS born at 35wks 
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  • If you like where you live I say give it a try on your own. You could always move later. We moved to DH's hometown for this very reason and I regretted it immediately. I HATE the area and my ILs haven't helped as much as they promised. We've spent the last 2 years trying to sell our house and move back. I would do anything to go back in time and stop us from moving.
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  • My mom was with me for about a week to help me get on my feet and the boys on a schedule since my DH was back to work full-time, but he wasn't away for more than his normal 8 hrs/day so I did have some help during the evenings and I'm also surrounded by family who offered to help out if needed, but I managed on my own during the day.

    I agree with a pp that you can always give it a try on your own, you'd be surprised what you can manage to do on your own sometimes.

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  • I did it on my own for most of my maternity leave.  DH had to go back to work right after they were home (he used up his time while they were in the NICU).  My mom came for a few days each week for the first month and after that it was all me.  I had my tough moments, but for the most part it really wasn't too bad.  I think I lucked out and have pretty content babies.  If one or both would have been super fussy it may have been a completely different ball game...

    ETA: I just reread your question and see your husband is going to be traveling. Yikes!  If I had to be alone day AND night, no way.  I was always relieved when DH got home.  He always gets up with one baby and I get up with the other, I can't imagine doing it ALL on my own.  Not to scare you or anything :)

     

  • My very candid response to you will be... you can do it.  Everything may not be perfect and go the way you'd like, the babies might both be crying while you do what I like to call the 'ugly cry' yourself occassionally, but you most certainly can do it!

    After the first week home (DH took 1 week off after the hospital) I was pretty much on my own other than my mom or friends coming by with meals every couple days in the evenings or on weekends.  It was hard at first because you don't get the smiles or them showing love/appreciation the way infants can right away but after awhile we all got into a groove and I felt like I was really starting to bond with my boys - I didn't feel like JUST a caregiver, it started to feel like I was their mom (esp. when one of my boys started smiling around 1 month and would light up a huge grin whenever I gave him 1-on-1 attention in my lap).

    Take people up on the their offers to help - they may seem like just an empty offer or a side comment but if someone offers food or any other form of help, take it!  One MoM in my area said if I knew any older ladies at church to ask them if they'd mind helping out, even if it was just to come and hold a baby so I could get other stuff done.  I didn't do that, but it was a suggestion I heard that could work for some.

    I hope you figure out what is best for you and your family!

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  • My two were in the NICU so my H used his time while they were there. I was on my own when the both came home. We have no family or friends near us. I was able to do it on my own. It WAS hard. I won't lie. After the 3 month mark, it did get better. It would have been nice to have help, but you figure it out. You'd be amazed how much one can do when you have to get it done.

     

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  • image amex0107:
    I did it on my own since my husband had to go back to work right away.  I did it without help!  It was not easy at all, but once month 4 rolled around, things got alot more manageable.  It takes ALOT of patience.  Good luck!

    My twins are 2 months old and like OP I did it on my own as my husband works. Now I am working FT and taking care of them at ngiht too. It takes alot of patience and one minuet at a time kinda thing.


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  • Im a single mom and have done it alone since the day i brought my boys home from the hospital ! Its definitely challenging but its totally worth it!
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  • I agree with the others, you can do it for sure & lots of ppl do, but it will be hard to be on your own all day & night for multiple days (weeks?)... my opinion would be if you can swing a night nanny/nurse in the beginning or when he has to go back to traveling, it would be totally worth it.  Also maybe you can have family come & visit for a week at a time and alternate over time (like a family member, a different one, a week alone, etc.) if it is tough and depending on their resources & abilities.

    GL!

  • You will definitely need help if your husband will be gone frequently. My husband was amazing when the twins first came home, taking a shift at night to let me sleep. I was alone by myself all day, and it is HARD. That word doesn't even describe it...

    Looking back, a night nanny would have really helped us. I didn't have any family around to help me out unless my mom traveled 5 hours, so if you have the option to move closer to your families, do it!

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  • My DH works full time and is going to law school at night. He would be gone from 730am-930pm Mon-Thurs. My mom came one day a week for 6-7 hours and my sister came once a week sometimes for 2-3 hours. It is doable.
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