Stay at Home Moms

Is this rude?

Just curious what you think.

Suppose you see a friend or acquaintance who has recently lost a bunch of weight.  You're talking to them and telling them how great they look etc.  Is it rude to ask "How much did you lose?"

You're not asking how much they did weigh, or how much they weigh now...just how much did they lose.

WDYT?


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Re: Is this rude?

  • I think so. I think any prying beyond, "You look awesome!" is probably rude. Now, I think if they start delving into it more, it may be appropriate to ask more questions, but that depends on what they say and what kind of friend they are. 

    E 9.08, V 8.11, #3 coming April 2014
  • I don't think it is rude.  Not sure it is something I would ask, but hope they volunteer.  DH has lost weight over the years and his family is always asking how much he has lost.

    He told his Mom, "I don't know, but less than my wife this year."

    Of course, MIL said nothing to that.  Thanks.


  • image LalaMama81:
    I think so. I think any prying beyond, "You look awesome!" is probably rude. Now, I think if they start delving into it more, it may be appropriate to ask more questions, but that depends on what they say and what kind of friend they are. 

    This -- like if they started getting into the nitty gritty, I would probably say, "That is so amazing. I'm sorry to be so nosy, but how much did you lose because you look hot" or something like that. 

    Baby Numbers 11.8.10 The Sequel on or around 10.13.12
  • Yes, it's rude. Complimenting them on how great they look is where I'd leave it. I guess I also wouldn,t really care to know how many exact pounds somebody lost.
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  • I lost 155 pounds in 2007 and people asked ALL.THE.TIME. It never bothered me at all when they asked... I was always SO happy that someone noticed and was bragging on me for it, I know that's lame but it is true. 

    People would also ask frequently how much I'd lost... and keep asking questions like "What was your heaviest weight?" or "How much do you have left to lose, and where will that put you"?... I didn't like telling them my exact weight but people asked all.the.time.

    I saw an elderly man the other day that I used to work with before stopping working to stay home with Hadley and he said "Well good gosh, have you gained all your weight back?" and I said "No, you hateful old coot... I have not". Argh. 


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    Forever blessed through adoption! 7-17-11
  • image Hav=Fath:

    I saw an elderly man the other day that I used to work with before stopping working to stay home with Hadley and he said "Well good gosh, have you gained all your weight back?" and I said "No, you hateful old coot... I have not". Argh. 

    Best comeback ever!


  • image Hav=Fath:

    I lost 155 pounds in 2007 and people asked ALL.THE.TIME. It never bothered me at all when they asked... I was always SO happy that someone noticed and was bragging on me for it, I know that's lame but it is true. 

    People would also ask frequently how much I'd lost... and keep asking questions like "What was your heaviest weight?" or "How much do you have left to lose, and where will that put you"?... I didn't like telling them my exact weight but people asked all.the.time.

    I saw an elderly man the other day that I used to work with before stopping working to stay home with Hadley and he said "Well good gosh, have you gained all your weight back?" and I said "No, you hateful old coot... I have not". Argh. 

    Wow, well that is jaw-droppingly rude - ew!

    I was curious what others thought because I saw an acquaintance at a wedding this past weekend who probably lost about 40 if I had to guess, and I was telling her how great she looked, and almost asked how much she lost, but stopped myself because I wasn't sure if it was rude or not. 



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  • I have a double standard about this.  I wouldn't mind if someone asked me how much I'd lost but I'm not really comfortable asking someone else unless they are talking about their weigh loss in depth and it would almost be rude NOT to ask.
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  • No I lost 100 pounds and wA proud of my weight loss not rude at all.
    Mom to Emma 9/4/06 and Jackson 11/24/08 M/C Dec 11 and M/C twins feb 2012. BFP Thanksgiving! EDD Aug 4, 2013 M/C at 5 weeks.
  • image Andrewsgal:
    No I lost 100 pounds and wA proud of my weight loss not rude at all.

    I didn't know that AG. That's awesome. Good inspiration.  


    E 9.08, V 8.11, #3 coming April 2014
  • ta78ta78
    250 Answers 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its
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    I think most people who have lost a substantial amount of weight would like sharing their accomplishment. Getting into how much they weighed before or weigh now would be rude. I'd love to lose this extra 30lbs and tell everyone.





    Quinton  06.25.10
    Wren  01.13.11


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    .blog.
  • Color me rude! I was standing with a lady from my daughters class the other day, we were having a conversation and she was talking about her previous night and food/beer.  Said "ever since I lost so much weight, I'm a lightweight" so I said "Oh that's great! How much did you lose?" and she proudly told me 70 pounds.  I NEVER assumed I was being rude, I was honestly curious... mainly because I've lost 30 myself in the past 4 months.  People ask me all the time?  That particular question, when someone has lost, wouldn't make me bat a lash.
  • ta78ta78
    250 Answers 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its
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    image Chapter79:
    Color me rude! I was standing with a lady from my daughters class the other day, we were having a conversation and she was talking about her previous night and food/beer.  Said "ever since I lost so much weight, I'm a lightweight" so I said "Oh that's great! How much did you lose?" and she proudly told me 70 pounds.  I NEVER assumed I was being rude, I was honestly curious... mainly because I've lost 30 myself in the past 4 months.  People ask me all the time?  That particular question, when someone has lost, wouldn't make me bat a lash.

    I probably wouldn't think twice about asking someone either. It just seems part of the conversation when someone says they've lost weight.

    Also. Congrats on your loss. 






    Quinton  06.25.10
    Wren  01.13.11


    photo qw_zpsd8c3bb1b.jpg

    .blog.
  • Rude in general, but v dependent on how close you are to them.
    DS1 - Feb 2008

    DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)

  • I think it is rude.  My MIL just asked me this last week and I didn't answer her.  I just told her that 'I don't know'.  I would rather just not say, even if they do think that I look great.
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  • image ryry1977:
    I think it is rude.  My MIL just asked me this last week and I didn't answer her.  I just told her that 'I don't know'.  I would rather just not say, even if they do think that I look great.

    I guess I'm just the complete opposite?

    Because I've tried to lose weight for 788 years, I'm really proud that I'm actually doing it this time. I will tell anyone what I've lost, if they ask.  It just doesn't bother me at all.

  • image Chapter79:

    image ryry1977:
    I think it is rude.  My MIL just asked me this last week and I didn't answer her.  I just told her that 'I don't know'.  I would rather just not say, even if they do think that I look great.

    I guess I'm just the complete opposite?

    Because I've tried to lose weight for 788 years, I'm really proud that I'm actually doing it this time. I will tell anyone what I've lost, if they ask.  It just doesn't bother me at all.

    No doubt! I can't imagine being offended by it... It's an accomplishment, why wouldn't you share? Then again, I over share with pretty much everything, so there is that. 


    image


    Forever blessed through adoption! 7-17-11
  • Another one for me that would be situational. If it was some one I ran into from HS or college that I didn't keep it touch with, I'd feel rude asking. If it was a family member or someone I was close to that I knew was losing the weight, I'd ask.
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    January2014 Blog ** Admin to the January 2014 FB group!
  • image Chapter79:
    Color me rude! I was standing with a lady from my daughters class the other day, we were having a conversation and she was talking about her previous night and food/beer.  Said "ever since I lost so much weight, I'm a lightweight" so I said "Oh that's great! How much did you lose?" and she proudly told me 70 pounds.  I NEVER assumed I was being rude, I was honestly curious... mainly because I've lost 30 myself in the past 4 months.  People ask me all the time?  That particular question, when someone has lost, wouldn't make me bat a lash.

    30 lbs. in 4 months is awesome - congrats!


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  • image AimeeL85:

    image Chapter79:
    Color me rude! I was standing with a lady from my daughters class the other day, we were having a conversation and she was talking about her previous night and food/beer.  Said "ever since I lost so much weight, I'm a lightweight" so I said "Oh that's great! How much did you lose?" and she proudly told me 70 pounds.  I NEVER assumed I was being rude, I was honestly curious... mainly because I've lost 30 myself in the past 4 months.  People ask me all the time?  That particular question, when someone has lost, wouldn't make me bat a lash.

    30 lbs. in 4 months is awesome - congrats!

    Thank you so much :)  Though I have to correct my own mistake- it's been 5 months. I completely forgot tomorrow is May, I lost a month somewhere. I started on January 1.

    edited to add- maybe I need sleep. I guess that is 4 months. I'm going into the 5th. Whatever, haha.. thank you, however long it's been. I woke entirely too early.

  • Luckey4Luckey4
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
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    I would rather tell someone what I've lost than what I had gained lol
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