2nd Trimester

Host My Own Baby Shower .. ?

I've always wanted to plan my own shower . I am now 22 weeks and am anxious to start planning . This is my first , Hubby's second . He had a bad first experience and keeps saying he's just going to buy everything on the registry . My mother wants to host . She has wonderful intentions but she worries too much and swears she needs to spend $5000 !! To me that's ridiculous ! I feel I can have a celebration w $500 . Also , I feel I am a great planner and I like having things my way (: . The idea of being "surprised" is nice , but not when I know there's a surprise , I hate that . As the saying goes , if you want something done right , do it yourself ! Any opinions ? I would love an open discussion ! Thanks !

BTW : I'm having a boy , and I don't want the traditional blues , I prefer yellow and orange .  

Lilypie Maternity tickers BabyFruit Ticker Lilypie Pregnancy tickers BabyFetus Ticker
«13456710

Re: Host My Own Baby Shower .. ?

  • I would never host my own baby shower. MIL and SIL are hosting and planning mine. They have asked my opinion on things, but I trust them with planning it. But to me, hosting your own shower looks gift grabby. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Pregnancy tickers

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickers

    imageimage
  • Oh man...I'm sorry but you're going to get eaten alive for posting this here Indifferent Hosting your own shower doesn't go over well here.
  • If your mom wants to plan one, let her and tell her you would like to help with the planning. She probably knows you well enough to know you would prefer that. Please don't put your name on the invites- that would be tacky.
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
  • image kacikaygirl224:
    I would never host my own baby shower. MIL and SIL are hosting and planning mine. They have asked my opinion on things, but I trust them with planning it. But to me, hosting your own shower looks gift grabby. 

    Thanks for replying so quick (: . I completely understand why it looks gift grabby . Which is why I'm on the fence . I'm not sure why I'm scared to let my mom do it . I just feel something will go wrong , and if I do it myself I know it will be how I want . I have a really big family and would just love to celebrate with them , as I am the "baby of the family " . My fiance really wants to just buy everything himself , I keep telling him to hold on . Also we're moving in July ( our lease is up ) , so it feels everything will be happening at once .

    Lilypie Maternity tickers BabyFruit Ticker Lilypie Pregnancy tickers BabyFetus Ticker
  • image peacelovegreen:
    . Also , I feel I am a great planner and I like having things my way (: . The idea of being "surprised" is nice , but not when I know there's a surprise , I hate that . As the saying goes , if you want something done right , do it yourself ! Any opinions ? I would love an open discussion ! Thanks !

    Wow, you're a peach. 

    No, you don't throw your own shower.  Period.

    image
    BabyFruit Ticker
    TTC since 3/10: IVF #1 BFP: #1 60, #2 128, #3 256, #4 796, #5 1926!
    U/S #2: 2 heartbeats!!!! U/S #4: Vanishing twin around 8=9 weeks
  • image catycate:
    If your mom wants to plan one, let her and tell her you would like to help with the planning. She probably knows you well enough to know you would prefer that. Please don't put your name on the invites- that would be tacky.

    I actually thought about helping her w smaller details just so things can be to my liking . Thanks for the good tip , I actually didn't think of whose name to put on the invite , I guess I figured I would probably have : " Baby is inviting you to celebrate his arrival " , something corny like that (: , but I definitely will not be putting my name . Thanks .

    Lilypie Maternity tickers BabyFruit Ticker Lilypie Pregnancy tickers BabyFetus Ticker
  • image alijeff2313:
    Oh man...I'm sorry but you're going to get eaten alive for posting this here Indifferent Hosting your own shower doesn't go over well here.

    LOL . This topic usually doesn't go over well anywhere . I'm a first-timer just looking for honest opinions and ideas .  

    Lilypie Maternity tickers BabyFruit Ticker Lilypie Pregnancy tickers BabyFetus Ticker
  • Definitely don't throw your own shower... a shower is a gift to you and your partner.  So, if you don't trust your family to do it right, you can say no thanks and just not have one.  NEVER is it appropriate to throw your own.  EVER.

    If you're really concerned about it not being "up to your standards", you can throw a "Meet the Baby" party after the baby's arrived. That's not for gifts, just a get together --- and that one you can throw yourself, and make it as perfect as you want.

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • No.

    If you host your own shower, you will look like a tacky, gift-grabby brat.

    And what on earth do the colors you prefer for your forthcoming DS have to do with planning your own shower?! If you want items those colors, register for them.

    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

    "The strong look for more strength; the weak look for excuses."

    Married July 2009, Furbaby adopted Sept. 2010, DS born June 2012

  • image peacelovegreen:

    image catycate:
    If your mom wants to plan one, let her and tell her you would like to help with the planning. She probably knows you well enough to know you would prefer that. Please don't put your name on the invites- that would be tacky.

    I actually thought about helping her w smaller details just so things can be to my liking . Thanks for the good tip , I actually didn't think of whose name to put on the invite , I guess I figured I would probably have : " Baby is inviting you to celebrate his arrival " , something corny like that (: , but I definitely will not be putting my name . Thanks .

    It's a GIFT. A shower isn't required. If someone gave you an ugly sweater, would you hand it back to them and say "Sorry, it's not to my liking." No, you wouldn't. You'd smile and graciously accept the fugly sweater.

    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

    "The strong look for more strength; the weak look for excuses."

    Married July 2009, Furbaby adopted Sept. 2010, DS born June 2012

  • Wow.  A baby shower is a gift.  Not an entitlement.  Not everyone gets one and you certainly shouldn't throw it yourself, regardless of what a great planner you are and how much you like having things your way (um, Veruca Salt?)

    Get over yourself. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker



  • Its incredibly tacky and rude to host your own gift giving event. If your mom wants to host then let her. You sound like you are a huge control freak. Let it go and let someone else celebrate you. 

    Hey, you asked for "any opinions".  Don't host your own. Stop acting like a preggozilla and a diva. Unclench.

    A shower should be a gift, and an honor. NOT something you throw because you feel entitled to one. Get over yourself.  

    imageimage
    imageimage

    Lilypie Breastfeeding tickersLilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers
  • image alexandra1818:

    Definitely don't throw your own shower... a shower is a gift to you and your partner.  So, if you don't trust your family to do it right, you can say no thanks and just not have one.  NEVER is it appropriate to throw your own.  EVER.

    If you're really concerned about it not being "up to your standards", you can throw a "Meet the Baby" party after the baby's arrived. That's not for gifts, just a get together --- and that one you can throw yourself, and make it as perfect as you want.

    That's the thing , I really am not trying to come off as a brat . I've hosted two other showers and feel I just know what I am doing . I don't think my mother has ever hosted one , esp w how much she thinks she needs to spend to please me . I love the idea of having someone host it , I just don't like the idea of having that "pressure" on them . But I also did think about hosting a Meet the Baby in my new home , my SIL did that for my nephew . ( There were gifts , but it wasn't expected I guess ) I really am not doing it for the gifts , I just have so much family in different states and know they would all love to come see me to celebrate , but of course they will be asking about the registry .

    Lilypie Maternity tickers BabyFruit Ticker Lilypie Pregnancy tickers BabyFetus Ticker
  • image peacelovegreen:

    That's the thing , I really am not trying to come off as a brat . 

    I guess it just comes naturally to you.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker



  • image peacelovegreen:
    image alexandra1818:

    Definitely don't throw your own shower... a shower is a gift to you and your partner.  So, if you don't trust your family to do it right, you can say no thanks and just not have one.  NEVER is it appropriate to throw your own.  EVER.

    If you're really concerned about it not being "up to your standards", you can throw a "Meet the Baby" party after the baby's arrived. That's not for gifts, just a get together --- and that one you can throw yourself, and make it as perfect as you want.

    That's the thing , I really am not trying to come off as a brat . I've hosted two other showers and feel I just know what I am doing . I don't think my mother has ever hosted one , esp w how much she thinks she needs to spend to please me . I love the idea of having someone host it , I just don't like the idea of having that "pressure" on them . But I also did think about hosting a Meet the Baby in my new home , my SIL did that for my nephew . ( There were gifts , but it wasn't expected I guess ) I really am not doing it for the gifts , I just have so much family in different states and know they would all love to come see me to celebrate , but of course they will be asking about the registry .

    Stop trying to justify all the reasons you should throw your own shower.

    Everyone here has told you it looks tacky and gift-grabby. Everyone has told you showers are gifts, not entitlements. Go ahead and do what you want, just know that, as general consensus shows, you WILL look like a tacky, gift-grabby brat if you host your own shower, whatever your motives are for hosting it yourself.

    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

    "The strong look for more strength; the weak look for excuses."

    Married July 2009, Furbaby adopted Sept. 2010, DS born June 2012

  • Hm , I feel I must've worded something wrong if I'm being perceived like this .. Of course it't not about the colors , I want my family to be comfortable so location and food is also important . Like I previously mentioned , I love the idea of having my mother host it , but she worries too much , and I feel this will be too much pressure on her . I repeat , I am definitely not doing it for the gifts , as my fiance is itching to buy everything today . I have a really big family and just want them near me to celebrate . Maybe someone understands where I'm coming from . Thanks for the opinions .
    Lilypie Maternity tickers BabyFruit Ticker Lilypie Pregnancy tickers BabyFetus Ticker
  • image peacelovegreen:

    That's the thing , I really am not trying to come off as a brat . I've hosted two other showers and feel I just know what I am doing . I don't think my mother has ever hosted one , esp w how much she thinks she needs to spend to please me . I love the idea of having someone host it , I just don't like the idea of having that "pressure" on them . 

    Please, you aren't trying to sound like a brat, but you are totally sounding like a control-freak diva. If your mom didn't want "the pressure" to host the event then she wouldn't have offered to throw it for you as a gift. I really think its lame how you are trying to pass your need to control this event off as some sort of consideration for any pressure that would exist for the host. Its not that hard to get some balloons and cake together to open gifts. Please don't insult our intelligence. That's annoying.  

    imageimage
    imageimage

    Lilypie Breastfeeding tickersLilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers
  • I'm about to get eaten alive then to, I say throw your own shower if you want and as with ANY shower gifts are NOT expected but appreciated. So don't throw a traditional shower, throw a bbq coed style to celebrate the baby
  • image peacelovegreen:
    Hm , I feel I must've worded something wrong if I'm being perceived like this .. Of course it't not about the colors , I want my family to be comfortable so location and food is also important . Like I previously mentioned , I love the idea of having my mother host it , but she worries too much , and I feel this will be too much pressure on her . I repeat , I am definitely not doing it for the gifts , as my fiance is itching to buy everything today . I have a really big family and just want them near me to celebrate . Maybe someone understands where I'm coming from . Thanks for the opinions .

    At this point, please just stop. 

    If you're too much of a control freak to sit back and let your mom throw you a shower, then decline it and host a meet the baby party after LO is here so you can give in to your controlling diva ways.

    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

    "The strong look for more strength; the weak look for excuses."

    Married July 2009, Furbaby adopted Sept. 2010, DS born June 2012

  • image peacelovegreen:
    Hm , I feel I must've worded something wrong if I'm being perceived like this .. Of course it't not about the colors , I want my family to be comfortable so location and food is also important . Like I previously mentioned , I love the idea of having my mother host it , but she worries too much , and I feel this will be too much pressure on her . I repeat , I am definitely not doing it for the gifts , as my fiance is itching to buy everything today . I have a really big family and just want them near me to celebrate . Maybe someone understands where I'm coming from . Thanks for the opinions .

    Dude, a shower is supposed to be about "showering the new mom". That's the whole point. If you want to host a party for your family/friends then do a meet the baby party. However, you already mentioned the registry so you must understand that its a gift giving event. That is why its rude to host your own. If you really want "family near you to celebrate" then let your mom host the shower as she is able and quit your biitchin'.

    You could solve all of this by hosting a meet the baby party once baby is here and forgoing a shower all together. That way you will have everything you need and can decorate as you like. Problem solved. That is not the function of a shower. The function of a shower is to get gifts.  

    imageimage
    imageimage

    Lilypie Breastfeeding tickersLilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers
  • image panicMom:
    I'm about to get eaten alive then to, I say throw your own shower if you want and as with ANY shower gifts are NOT expected but appreciated. So don't throw a traditional shower, throw a bbq coed style to celebrate the baby

    WOW THE FIRST TO UNDERSTAND ! A bbq is EXACTLY what I want . It will be in end of July / beginning of August .  

    Lilypie Maternity tickers BabyFruit Ticker Lilypie Pregnancy tickers BabyFetus Ticker
  • image panicMom:
    I'm about to get eaten alive then to, I say throw your own shower if you want and as with ANY shower gifts are NOT expected but appreciated. So don't throw a traditional shower, throw a bbq coed style to celebrate the baby

    That is not a shower, are you daft? That is a meet the baby without gifts (because the baby would be there to celebrate, right?) and you have all you need. Showers are to celebrate the mom and give her gifts to help with the new baby. Seriously, this is the easiest concept in the world.  

    imageimage
    imageimage

    Lilypie Breastfeeding tickersLilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers
  • image peacelovegreen:

    image panicMom:
    I'm about to get eaten alive then to, I say throw your own shower if you want and as with ANY shower gifts are NOT expected but appreciated. So don't throw a traditional shower, throw a bbq coed style to celebrate the baby

    WOW THE FIRST TO UNDERSTAND ! A bbq is EXACTLY what I want . It will be in end of July / beginning of August .  

    Dude, we aren't stupid. We understand what you want. You want to host your own gift giving event. A shower isn't a celebration of baby. Its a celebration of the mother. Please get it through your head. Celebrating the BABY happens with a meet the baby when the kid is out of the oven. There is a HUGE difference. The purpose of a shower is to give the mother stuff to help with baby. JFC.  

    imageimage
    imageimage

    Lilypie Breastfeeding tickersLilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers
  • I'm going to disagree with the ladies on here. I really dont understand the big deal about throwing one yourself. (And do I really believe not a single woman on here had a hand in planning her own? No) 

    DH and I are going to host our own get together for this baby. I decided it would be more of a cook-out / shower type of event. I can't stand stupid baby showers where you guess how many skittles are in the bottle and other silly games. We also have no intention of telling people where we are registered. I personally dont see the point in having a registry at all - to me thats just saying I expect other people to buy me things. The only reason I have one at all is for my own mother and in-laws to get a sense of what we like. I know my mom will buy things, I can't stop the woman haha.

    As for our event, I dont expect people to bring anything if they dont want to. Nor do I want only women at the party as I dont even have a lot of female friends. However, after going through years of Infertility I don't know if I'll ever get another chance at being pregnant. So why not do it myself and celebrate having a baby? I'm not asking for money or gifts, just a coming together of our friends to celebrate us having a child.  

    image
    image
    image



    TTC since September 2010

    Begin Clomid Aug 2011-Jan 2012 without monitoring
    Wised up, demanded better care and a RE


    RE DX OHSS and softball sized cysts, no wonder I looked KU

    Begin Femera and Injects;

    Aug - 75 Gonal F for 6 days, Follies at 21, 16, 15 on CD9 another shot of Gonal F, trigger the next night
    IUI #1 Aug 17 - BFFN :( >

    IUI #2 - Nov 6 - BFFN...or so we thought. BFP Nov 28!

    First U/S Dec 11 shows one baby in there!

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Wow , I didn't think I needed to add my mother is sick and not financially stable , for people to be somewhat understanding of which "pressure" I am talking about . To me this is not about balloons cake decorations and gifts . Once again , not sure how it's so easy for most people to read a paragraph and make an assumption of one person's life style to determine they are a brat . Never had anyone call me that . Actually very caring of others situations , and humble enough to know IT IS NOT ABOUT THE GIFTS . Yes , it is a Baby Shower , to shower w love not just gifts .
    Lilypie Maternity tickers BabyFruit Ticker Lilypie Pregnancy tickers BabyFetus Ticker
  • My mom and dad hosted one of my showers, and I helped plan that one.  I had alot of fun.  Tell your mom that's what you want to do, to have fun with the little details, etc.  I loved doing it, was much more fun than being surprised. :)  Good luck!
  • I have a ton of friends, co workers and extended family that want to attend a shower and ask about it often but have had nobody offer to throw me one, so my fiance and I plan to throw our own. And to PP NO I'm not "daft" I'm in a situation different then others. This woman asked a question, I answered for MYSELF. I post on this forum because some women are here to HELP other women. Sadly some are here to judge, ridicule and condem.
  • image Hinessn:

    I'm going to disagree with the ladies on here. I really dont understand the big deal about throwing one yourself. (And do I really believe not a single woman on here had a hand in planning her own? No) I didn't. I was told when to show up. That's it. Truthfully. 

    DH and I are going to host our own get together for this baby. I decided it would be more of a cook-out / shower type of event. That's not really a shower...the definition is to shower the mom with gifts to help with baby...

    I personally dont see the point in having a registry at all - to me thats just saying I expect other people to buy me things. The only reason I have one at all is for my own mother and in-laws to get a sense of what we like. The purpose of a registry is suggestion and completion coupon to buy things later. People always have a choice of what to buy seeing as how its, you know, their money.

    As for our event, I dont expect people to bring anything if they dont want to. Nor do I want only women at the party as I dont even have a lot of female friends. However, after going through years of Infertility I don't know if I'll ever get another chance at being pregnant. So why not do it myself and celebrate having a baby? I'm not asking for money or gifts, just a coming together of our friends to celebrate us having a child.  Again, what you are doing is not a shower in the traditional sense. The purpose of a shower is not to celebrate baby anyway. Its to celebrate mom and help her out. I seriously don't understand how this is such a hard concept to comprehend. 

    imageimage
    imageimage

    Lilypie Breastfeeding tickersLilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers
  • image PrimRoseMama:
    image peacelovegreen:

    image panicMom:
    I'm about to get eaten alive then to, I say throw your own shower if you want and as with ANY shower gifts are NOT expected but appreciated. So don't throw a traditional shower, throw a bbq coed style to celebrate the baby

    WOW THE FIRST TO UNDERSTAND ! A bbq is EXACTLY what I want . It will be in end of July / beginning of August .  

    Dude, we aren't stupid. We understand what you want. You want to host your own gift giving event. A shower isn't a celebration of baby. Its a celebration of the mother. Please get it through your head. Celebrating the BABY happens with a meet the baby when the kid is out of the oven. There is a HUGE difference. The purpose of a shower is to give the mother stuff to help with baby. JFC.  

    Ditto Prim.  There's so much stoopid in here it's making my head hurt. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker



«13456710
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards