Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Full Time Nanny

(Also on SAHM board) Has anybody had experience with being a full time nanny after having children?

I recently gave birth to my first child and I'm due to go back to work on May 6th. (Can't believe it's already been 6 weeks!!) Anyway, I had told my bosses that I did plan on returning to work once he was old enough for daycare (they thought I was quitting) and so they have held my job for me and allowed me to retain my health insurance without it lapsing. However, now that the time is almost upon me I am having some serious anxiety and stress and maybe even some depression feelings over being away from my baby for so long every day. I know lots of moms do it and manage it, and I know it will be hard on me, but I'm just feeling lost about what to do.

I really want to be a stay at home / work from home mom. Today I spoke to a friend and she told me to make a profile on care.com to be a babysitter/nanny to enable me to stay with my son and still have an income. I did that, and with all the help wanted ads I'm sure I can find something that would work.

But now I have a problem. Do I pursue the nanny thing or not? My boss could have already hired a replacement for me if I wasn't going to go back but instead they just worked short handed since I said I would be back. This is my company's busy season too so I'd feel bad going back after 6 weeks and quitting... I'm so confused as to what is best for me vs. what I want, and it's just adding to my anxiety.

Added to that, I'm not entirely sure if the nanny thing would work. Based on the availability & pay scales listed on Care.com it looks like I could potentially make $300/week for some of the full time positions, but I won't know for sure until I talk to the families since the website uses ranges (6am-9am & $5-$10) instead of definite times when you make a listing.

I really like this idea, but after Skyping with my husband earlier today (He's in Afghanistan for another few months) he doesn't support this idea at all. He basically told me I had to "suck it up" and go back to my old job and send my son to daycare. I can't seem to get across to him my emotional distress over being separated from the baby. I really want to be a Stay at Home mom, but we can't afford just one income so I need to do something to bring money in.

So I'm wondering if anybody has experience with being a Nanny and could tell me what it's like and if I can really make enough doing it to make up for not working at my old job (I make roughly $350/week take home pay). 

Thrilled on becoming a First Time Mom!
BFP 7/18/2012 ~ EDD 3/28/2013
10/11/2012 - 16w - It's a boy!

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Re: Full Time Nanny

  • I am a big fan of keeping commitments.... so in my opinion,  quitting your job is really rude when they covered your insurance.  Also, the insurance can and probably will refund your employer and then bill you for the unpaid premiums when your employer cancels your insurance coverage. 

    Also I would never hire a full time nanny that planned on bringing her own children to my home while watching my kids. Sure a friend or family member,  but if I were to get a nanny, I would expect a full time nanny, not a babysitter who watches my kids while watching her own.

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  • I noticed you said your husband's in Afghanistan.  Is he active duty?  If so, and you live on base, you could maybe look at being an at-home care provider.  There are certain qualifications you have to meet, but that would enable you to watch kids in your home through the on post childcare system, and also be with your child.  I don't know much about the on-post in-home child care, just that it exists and a lot of people use it.

    I agree with prior post that you have an issue if you've been using your employer's healthcare while out on maternity leave.  You may need to go back for a little while before quitting if that's the case. That being said, I don't think you should feel guilty if you do end up quitting.  At the end of the day you have to do what's best for you and your family.  

  • image SkyBee:

    I am a big fan of keeping commitments.... so in my opinion,  quitting your job is really rude when they covered your insurance.  Also, the insurance can and probably will refund your employer and then bill you for the unpaid premiums when your employer cancels your insurance coverage. 

     

     

    I paid my premiums out of pocket 

    Thrilled on becoming a First Time Mom!
    BFP 7/18/2012 ~ EDD 3/28/2013
    10/11/2012 - 16w - It's a boy!

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  • image Carnation77:

    I noticed you said your husband's in Afghanistan.  Is he active duty?  If so, and you live on base, you could maybe look at being an at-home care provider. 

     

    Hubby is deployed national guard, we don't have the option to live on a base 

    Thrilled on becoming a First Time Mom!
    BFP 7/18/2012 ~ EDD 3/28/2013
    10/11/2012 - 16w - It's a boy!

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  • image MrsArrants:
    image SkyBee:

    I am a big fan of keeping commitments.... so in my opinion,  quitting your job is really rude when they covered your insurance.  Also, the insurance can and probably will refund your employer and then bill you for the unpaid premiums when your employer cancels your insurance coverage. 

     

     

    I paid my premiums out of pocket 

    Then thatwouldn't be an issue,  however, my advice is still to go back to work..... YH is not on board, I would re-evaluate the SAH situation when he returns home. d 

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  • image SkyBee:

    Also I would never hire a full time nanny that planned on bringing her own children to my home while watching my kids. Sure a friend or family member,  but if I were to get a nanny, I would expect a full time nanny, not a babysitter who watches my kids while watching her own.

    I agree with this. I was a summer nanny in college and I know the family would not have hired me if I was bringing my own child to work with me. They had other nannies and we were all young, childless, and husbandless! I suppose it could depend on the family though.

    I do think you should wait to reassess your work situation until your husband gets home. That is a big decision to make while he is not home. I went back to work at 6 weeks and it does get easier! 

     


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  • Personally, I would find it very difficult to care for my own child and someone else's children at the same time.  I would worry all the time about being able to meet my kid's needs, but also fulfilling my job duties too.  That would not be a good idea for me at all (but everyone is different obviously).  

    Honestly, I think you're experiencing what most, if not all, working moms feel about sending their LOs to daycare.  With DS1, I put off going back to work for 2 months because I just couldn't bear the thought of being away from my son and someone else taking care of him.  It was a million times harder on me than him.  But, he did great and is very well-adjusted. Daycare really isn't as bad as it seems.

  • I would just caution you to keep in mind that working as a nanny in another home or taking children in to your home is often a short-term thing.  You will likely find yourself without a job with little notice many times as the turn over rate is often rather high.  Families and caregivers needs change often so your income takes a big hit.

    There are some positions that will allow you to bring your own child to their home but not as many.  If you plan to have the children come to your home factor in that your weekly pay wouldn't be the $300 once you factor in food, supplies, outings etc.  Also, you are legally required to pay taxes on this income, if not set up with the family you have to pay out of pocket come tax time.  There is no health care (you said your current position had this can your family afford to lose it?), usually their is no unemployment insurance so you have little protection etc.

    It can be a great job that allows you to stay at home but make sure you fully consider all aspects before quitting your current job.  Other things to keep in mind.  If your child is sick, who will take care of him while you take care of the paying children, how will you take your child to doctors appointments, can you afford to suddenly lose a current family and be without pay while searching for new family, can your family be without health coverage.

     

  • I worked as a nanny and brought DD along with me, and it was great.  I really feel like I had a unique situation, though, as this family was just so laid back and lovely.  Also,  DD was 2.5 at the time, not an infant.   

    In your case...it would be crappy to do that to your employers.  I would go back until your DH comes home, and then reevaluate.   


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  • It sounds like your family cannot afford to be without your income. I would not quit your job until you have secured another job/nanny gig. I would use caution as a nanny gig is less stable. I would go back to work as it sounds like your pay is guaranteed.

     

    If you don't mind me asking, how much is your daycare? We will pay close to $275 a week and you said you make $350 a week?!

  • I think almost every new mom can relate in some way to feeling like this before going back to work. I think you need to evaluate what you really want to do long-term, not just look at the short-term issue of it being a difficult change to undergo. Also, I would never hire a nanny in any capacity that would also be watching her own child. Just throwing that out there that people might not automatically be accepting of that arrangement.
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  • Calm down - take a deep breath...what your feeling is totally normal.  Every working mom that I know of - especially with their firstborn - goes through this panic feeling of "OMG - I cannot go back to work".  I'm not going to lie - it is a hard transition - but after a few weeks, you settle into a routine and life works itself out.  You should never make such important life changes like a career change at this point - you are very emotional and you don't want to make a long term mistake.  Just know that what you are feeling is normal - just keep moving forward and go back to work.  If after a few months you still feel as strongly as you do now about working from home or changing your career, then do it.  GL!
  • image tilsonc:

    If you don't mind me asking, how much is your daycare? We will pay close to $275 a week and you said you make $350 a week?!

    My daycare would be $125/week which is actually pretty cheap in my area.

    Update: I actually got really lucky and found a work from home job with U-Haul. I'm basically a telemarketer and make an hourly wage for all truck rentals and then commission on anything I sell beyond that (packing materials, etc). Which is a great thing because it saves me a ton in daycare and fuel costs PLUS I get to be at home with my son.

    Thank you everybody for your advice, this board was much more supportive than the Stay at Home Mom board I posted it in.

    Those that mentioned the insurance: We are covered under my husbands military insurance (premium free while he's deployed) and we'll be actually purchasing the same coverage we have now when he comes home at about $200/month for the whole family. (My old job would have cost $175/WEEK to cover the three of us!!)

    Thrilled on becoming a First Time Mom!
    BFP 7/18/2012 ~ EDD 3/28/2013
    10/11/2012 - 16w - It's a boy!

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  • I am a SAHM and I had two different periods of time where I had a child in my care in addition to my own DD.  They both brought me their child to my home.  It was tough but certainly doable.  Our house is fairly small so I felt it was tough.  If we sell and buy a larger home I will likely Nanny from my own home again.
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