Stay at Home Moms

Becoming a Full Time Nanny

Has anybody had experience with being a full time nanny after having children?

I recently gave birth to my first child and I'm due to go back to work on May 6th. (Can't believe it's already been 6 weeks!!) Anyway, I had told my bosses that I did plan on returning to work once he was old enough for daycare (they thought I was quitting) and so they have held my job for me and allowed me to retain my health insurance without it lapsing. However, now that the time is almost upon me I am having some serious anxiety and stress and maybe even some depression feelings over being away from my baby for so long every day. I know lots of moms do it and manage it, and I know it will be hard on me, but I'm just feeling lost about what to do.

I really want to be a stay at home / work from home mom. Today I spoke to a friend and she told me to make a profile on care.com to be a babysitter/nanny to enable me to stay with my son and still have an income. I did that, and with all the help wanted ads I'm sure I can find something that would work.

But now I have a problem. Do I pursue the nanny thing or not? My boss could have already hired a replacement for me if I wasn't going to go back but instead they just worked short handed since I said I would be back. This is my company's busy season too so I'd feel bad going back after 6 weeks and quitting... I'm so confused as to what is best for me vs. what I want, and it's just adding to my anxiety.

Added to that, I'm not entirely sure if the nanny thing would work. Based on the availability & pay scales listed on Care.com it looks like I could potentially make $300/week for some of the full time positions, but I won't know for sure until I talk to the families since the website uses ranges (6am-9am & $5-$10) instead of definite times when you make a listing.

I really like this idea, but after Skyping with my husband earlier today (He's in Afghanistan for another few months) he doesn't support this idea at all. He basically told me I had to "suck it up" and go back to my old job and send my son to daycare. I can't seem to get across to him my emotional distress over being separated from the baby. I really want to be a Stay at Home mom, but we can't afford just one income so I need to do something to bring money in.

So I'm wondering if anybody has experience with being a Nanny and could tell me what it's like and if I can really make enough doing it to make up for not working at my old job (I make roughly $350/week take home pay). 

Thrilled on becoming a First Time Mom!
BFP 7/18/2012 ~ EDD 3/28/2013
10/11/2012 - 16w - It's a boy!

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Re: Becoming a Full Time Nanny

  • I can tell you one thing for sure, if your husband is not 100% on board with you being a SAHM your life is going to be miserable.

    I also think that quitting your job with the hopes of getting enough jobs off care.com to replace your salary is a lofty goal. Do you have nanny experience? If not, it's going to take quite some time to get to a point where you can charge more because of your experience. If you're already stressed now, think about what's going to happen when you have no income and no baby-sitting jobs coming in.

    Also, you have a newborn- they are incredibly demanding. I personally would not pay you to watch my kids if you were also bringing your newborn along- if I'm paying you to watch my kids, you're watching MY kids, not yours, especially not a newborn. It would be different if you were already established with my family- I'd be willing to try it out and see how you do with all the kids. But definitely not right off the bat.

    I think you should just go back to work and start working on your budget to see how you can be a SAHM. But like I said, if your husband isn't supportive, it's just not going to work.

    ETA: do you have friends or family nearby? It sounds like part of the problem is that your husband isn't home. I imagine it's very difficult taking care of a newborn on your own without your partner around. If you don't have friends and family to lean on, try finding a mommy group for some support. 

    Good luck!


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  • image QueSyrah:
    I can tell you one thing for sure, if your husband is not 100 on board with you being a SAHM your life is going to be miserable. I also think that quitting your job with the hopes of getting enough jobs off care.com to replace your salary is a lofty goal. Do you have nanny experience? If not, it's going to take quite some time to get to a point where you can charge more because of your experience. If you're already stressed now, think about what's going to happen when you have no income and no babysitting jobs coming in.Also, you have a newborn they are incredibly demanding. I personally would not pay you to watch my kids if you were also bringing your newborn along if I'm paying you to watch my kids, you're watching MY kids, not yours, especially not a newborn. It would be different if you were already established with my family I'd be willing to try it out and see how you do with all the kids. But definitely not right off the bat.I think you should just go back to work and start working on your budget to see how you can be a SAHM. But like I said, if your husband isn't supportive, it's just not going to work.

    I agree with all of this. Most of the stories I've heard about nannies bringing their own kids, already had a job with the family. My SIL actually just started doing this, but her son is 13 months, so it was a little different.

    imageimage
    E 9.08, V 8.11, J 4.14
  • Go back to work.

    First of all SAH without your husband on board would be miserable, and not fair to him at all.

    Second you don't even have a job. You don't quit a job hoping for another when you need that paycheck to live.

    Third most people don't want a nanny with a newborn.
    Mom to Emma 9/4/06 and Jackson 11/24/08 M/C Dec 11 and M/C twins feb 2012. BFP Thanksgiving! EDD Aug 4, 2013 M/C at 5 weeks.
  • image Andrewsgal:
    Go back to work. First of all SAH without your husband on board would be miserable, and not fair to him at all. Second you don't even have a job. You don't quit a job hoping for another when you need that paycheck to live. Third most people don't want a nanny with a newborn.

    LOL you are so much more concise than I am.


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  • I felt similarly after my son was born (except I had/have no desire to be a nanny). I went back to work, and I was certain that once I got back I'd be fine, and realize work was where I wanted to be.

    For me, that didn't happen, and I'm staying home at the end of this school year. 

    BUT, I'm glad I went back, because now I won't wonder. 

    It's very very common to have anxiety and be nervous about going back to work. But the majority of women who choose to work and go back after baby are glad they did. 

    Go back, especially since your H isn't on board. If you get back and still want to SAH, re-address it with your husband, now with the background info of being miserable back at work. 

    Leave nannying out of it for now. 

    GL.

  • What you are feeling us what every new mom feels. My advice is to go back to work for at least a while. If after a few mo this you are still miserable than you can start to plan to sah at a later date without screwing your company over and have a job lined up before quitting.
    CJ :-)
  • I will say as a mom I would not be OK with a nanny bringing their child to watch my child, so I'm not sure how popular you will be on care.com. Also, if you have to work, you have to work, so being overly dramatic about it isn't going to help...so the "emotional distress" thing you're trying to sell to your husband is a little much and not helpful in the discussions I assume. 

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  • We had a nanny for almost a year for our babies. We would not have been hired someone with a baby of their own that they wanted to bring along.

    You said you can't afford to live on just your DH's income. Your employer is holding your job. I think the right thing to do is obvious, even if it's not something you want to do.
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  • When I look at care.com for sitters I don't use anyone that wants to bring their children along.  I imagine anyone willing to pay for a nanny wouldn't want that either. I can't imagine someone bringing their newborn with them to a new nanny position.
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  • image KateMW:

    I will say as a mom I would not be OK with a nanny bringing their child to watch my child, so I'm not sure how popular you will be on care.com. Also, if you have to work, you have to work, so being overly dramatic about it isn't going to help...so the "emotional distress" thing you're trying to sell to your husband is a little much and not helpful in the discussions I assume. 

    but but...she'll have to leave her baby! The essence of her being!! 


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  • image QueSyrah:
    I can tell you one thing for sure, if your husband is not 100 on board with you being a SAHM your life is going to be miserable. I also think that quitting your job with the hopes of getting enough jobs off care.com to replace your salary is a lofty goal. Do you have nanny experience? If not, it's going to take quite some time to get to a point where you can charge more because of your experience. If you're already stressed now, think about what's going to happen when you have no income and no babysitting jobs coming in.Also, you have a newborn they are incredibly demanding. I personally would not pay you to watch my kids if you were also bringing your newborn along if I'm paying you to watch my kids, you're watching MY kids, not yours, especially not a newborn. It would be different if you were already established with my family I'd be willing to try it out and see how you do with all the kids. But definitely not right off the bat.I think you should just go back to work and start working on your budget to see how you can be a SAHM. But like I said, if your husband isn't supportive, it's just not going to work. ETA: do you have friends or family nearby? It sounds like part of the problem is that your husband isn't home. I imagine it's very difficult taking care of a newborn on your own without your partner around. If you don't have friends and family to lean on, try finding a mommy group for some support.nbsp;Good luck!


    Wow totally all of this! I agree with everything she said! Good Luck!
  • Do not just quit now. I think you should go back to work. I know it is hard and you will probably cry. But if you can not live off the one income than you can't stay at home. Also they have been short staff in order to offer you job protection. You owe them to at least come back. Babies are expensive and you going back to work is what is giving your child a better life. Go back to work now and see if there is something you both can agree to giving up in order to live off one income. Use the money you are making to go straight into savings. (also i know alot of working moms that really enjoyed getting back to work, they were sad but then adjusted)
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  • I just became a SAHM. I was a FT WM until about a month ago. I went back to work FT when each girl was 6 weeks old. So I know the anxiety you are feeling.

    But, I agree with what everyone else has told you.

    Go back to work. Your baby will be fine in a good reliable daycare. Don't expect to love working right away. It took me a few months to adjust. Then, when your DH comes home have a conversation with him if you still have the desire to SAH. It took us 3 years, but we finally were able to have SAH.

    "Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."
    Goodbye little angel(7/22/2011)....see you in heaven
    Goodbye my second angel (9/18/2011)
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  • image Andrewsgal:
    Go back to work. First of all SAH without your husband on board would be miserable, and not fair to him at all. Second you don't even have a job. You don't quit a job hoping for another when you need that paycheck to live. Third most people don't want a nanny with a newborn.

     

    All of this. And I refuse to hire sitters who want to bring their kids. Ifp I'm paying someone to watch my kids, I expect that to be their primary responsibility, which I don't think is possible if you're trying to juggle your own child's needs. 

    "And though she be but little, she is fierce."
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  • I would suggest going back to work now then looking at your budget to see if it is possible for you to stay at home. When I went back to work, our expenses increased from gas, lunches, work clothes and of course the biggie, childcare. If my husband wasn't able to watch our son most days , it would not have made sense for me to be working since all my pay would go to childcare with my new job I took a huge pay cut. Is the 350 your take home pay after childcare costs?
    Also, I know the sheer panicky feeling of anticipating going back to work. In general I am unhappy being a working mom and would quit in a heart beat if I could. However, I take it day by day and it is not as devastating as I anticipated it to be.
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  • I nannied after my son was born (I went back when he was a little less than 12 weeks old).  I was in the same situation as you are now.  I was planning to go back to the daycare center I worked in and bring my son there as well.  I was told I could work in the same room as my son for part of the day as well. 

    Once I returned, all that was promised was taken back and I had a hard time with it.  I was also paying a full day rate for my child to attend the infant room (there was no discount given to employees), and it was 2/3 of my weekly salary.  It was ridiculous.

    After being back for a couple days I started looking for a family to nanny with where I could bring my son.  I gave my director a 2 week notice.  I could have just left but she said she wouldn't "be able to give me a good review" if I left without notice.  I would suggest this to you as well, and look for a nannying job in the mean time. 

    Nannying full-time can bring in 400+ before taxes per week depending on pay rate, and amount of hours worked, as well as your COL area.   If you are in an average COL area like me, you can make $10-15/hour.  Parents may ask to pay $1-2/hr less due to you bringing your own child.

    If you feel that will be enough to supplement your income, you should go for it.  Make sure that you save enough for taxes to pay at the end of the year or it will be a big loss on your return. 
    _____________________________________________________________________________

    SAHM to 4 kiddos... K (5/05), N (4/09), C (11/10) and Baby A 1/13/14












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