Pregnant after a Loss

Repost for Where to begin.

I hope you all don't mind me reposting this.  It's only meant so that each and every one of you will receive my thanks and gratitude.  My original post of Where to Begin has gotten lost in the sea of Quigley posts that have been going strong since yesterday at 7:00pm.   I cannot even start to tell you all how much each and every single word means to me and my husband.  He's absolutely astounded at the thoughtfulness!  I told him that I was still receiving posts as of this afternoon and he couldn't believe it.  We thank you so very much once again.            
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Thank you will NEVER be enough.  It's so hard to comprehend everything that you all did for me and my family tonight. DH knows about my participation on The Bump boards but never knew the extent until tonight when I showed him what you all have done for us. He was in absolute awe and so very grateful. The tears in his eyes were reflective of all your lit candles and kind words and prayers. Many of your DH/ SO also said such lovely things which just goes to show that, while in a bit of a different way, they feel this pain too. 

 I will be writing many of your words, poems and prayers into my journal that I've kept since learning of this pregnancy. Each and every single post was read and appreciated beyond explanation. Truly amazed by you women.  Completely. 

The remainder of my last day with Liam:

After three hours of meds for dilation I was called back. The nurse began an IV and roughly a half hour later I was taken to the procedure room. I was given IV sedation (twilight) and was very quickly "not aware". I felt no pain and remember absolutely nothing during the procedure. Thank goodness.  I just remember before going under that I said hello to the doctor and that I wish I didn't have to let him go because we love him so very much. Then I looked at the nurse and said, "His name is Liam". That's the last thing I remember before waking up in recovery.  I did get sick one time but it wasn't bad. Ive had pretty minimal bleeding so far. I slept for awhile there, although I have no idea how long. I got Liam's tiny little footprints and hand prints...they are perfect.

 *sensitive*

I did go to see him. I told them that I'd like to see his little hands and feet if possible. I believe that someone prepared him for that. When I walked in I saw a glass dish with a tiny paper towel. I could see his hands and feet where they would be. And although I never touched the paper towel, I knew there was nothing else below it. And that is ok. I knew that would most likely be the case.  But those hands and feet were so beautiful. I first touched his feet so tiny and frail but I know he is strong now. Then I touched his tiny little hands and fingers...hands and fingers that will always hold a piece of my heart.  I will never regret the decision to see him, ever.  I said some things to him that I hope he could hear from Heaven. DH was very worried about me seeing Liam. I reassured him its what I needed and he understood, just as I understood his decision not to view him. I will never question him as that was his decision to only picture Liam in his mind. I think that is just as beautiful. Later at home DH wanted to see the hand and footprints and was in awe and in love. We will always treasure them. I hope to someday soon use them to have imprinted onto a piece of jewelry. 

This may be my last post just for a bit.  I don't think it's all really hit me yet and I'm sure the next few days at the least will be tough.  I know I'll be back just not quite sure when, and when I do most of my time will be spent on PAL and TTCAL.  Although there's a very high chance that we will no longer be trying I think we need to give ourselves some time before closing that door completely. 

Please accept my thanks and love for all that you've done for me, DH, DS and our angel...Liam.

Lilypie - (dLe1)

 

      ***BFP 1-22-13, baby boy dx with Trisomy 13 at 15 weeks.

       We let him go to Heaven on 4-27-13 at 17 weeks 1 day***

 Lilypie - (AW2u)
 

 Lilypie - (L84X)Lilypie - (D4Hj)

 

 

 

 

Re: Repost for Where to begin.

  • We love you oh so much, Quig. You have been an amazing part of our AL community. If you ever need anything, pleass don't hesitate to let us know.

    HUGS and xoxoxo

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    Trying for Baby S #1 since February 2010.

    Missing Our Sweet Angels 
    Our Blog || My ITFB Ladies 
    AL Always Welcome. <3.
  • FaygaFayga
    2500 Comments Sixth Anniversary 250 Answers 500 Love Its
    member
    We all love you Quigley!
    We will be here for you when ever you need us!
    DH: 36 Me: 29  Married: 7/17/11
    BFP #1: 2/17/12  EDD: 10/28/12  Born Sleeping: 6/21/12
    Cameron was born into the arms of Jesus

    BFP #2: 12/5/12  EDD: 8/18/13 Born: 7/23/13
    Teagan our rainbow after the storm

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    If ignorance is bliss then there are a lot of blissful people walking around...
    *~*All AL Welcome In My Posts*~*
  • Hope you're feeling ok today, quig. Happy we could offer even a little support to your family.
    BFP #1 - Mango - 6/11/12, EDD 2/22/12 Natural MC 7/15/12
    BFP #2 - Nacho - 10/14/12, EDD 6/20/13, MMC 8 weeks, D&C 11/16/12
    All testing shows both H and I are perfectly normal. Baby Nacho had triploidy. 
    Back to normal business December 2012
    BFP #3 - Froggy - 1/15/13, EDD 9/27/13 TEAM GREEN
    It's a girl! Alice - Born 9/20/13, 8lbs 2oz

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  • Much love, Quigley.  Hugs and love
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    BFP 8/9/11 EDD 4/11/12 M/C 8/20/11
    BFP 10/13/12 EDD 6/18/13
    PgAL and PAL always welcome and appreciated!
    Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • Continuing to send you love, thoughts and prayers.
    3 ectopic pregnancies (EDD's 1/30/12-tube removed, 6/2/12-methotrexate and 10/2/12-methotrexate)
    IVF and Natural FET resulted in BFN's and a hole in our wallets
    Natural BFP #4 on 9/7/12 gave us our miracle on 5/18/13
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • T&Ps are still with you and your family. 
    BFP#1 10/18/12 M/C 10/25/12 BFP#2 12/24/12 EDD 9/2/13 DS born 8/31/13 

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  • Sending you so much love, thoughts and prayers, Quig.
    ***PgAL February Siggy Challenge***
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    BFP#1 1/19/2012 - EDD 9/21/2012 - missed miscarriage discovered 2/14/2012 - D&C 2-24-2012
    BFP#2 7-27-2012 - EDD 4/8/2013 - blighted ovum discovered 8-23-2012 - D&C 8-27-2012
    BFP#3 12-7-2012 - EDD 8/12/2013 - "Please don't take my Sunshine away."
    Ticker
  • You and your family continue to be in my thoughts today.  Many, many (((hugs))).
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    BFP #1: 1/10/12; EDD: 9/20/12, born too early on 5/7/12 (20w4d) due to IC/PTL/chorioamnionitis.
    BFP #2: 8/30/12; EDD: 5/9/13, emergency cerclage placed at 22w5d, dx cardiomyopathy, strict bed rest for 14 weeks. DD born at 39 weeks.


    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    All ALs always welcome
  • Keeping you and your family in my heart <3
    Mommy to Patricia Catherine, born still at 22w6d, 8/2/12. Mommy and Daddy will love and miss you forever baby girl!

    Bonus Mommy to I (16), A (15) and O (12)

    Furbaby Mommy to Athena, a English Mastiff

    BFP: 3/27/13, We are cautiously expecting baby #2 on 12/9/13 :) Please be our rainbow little one!

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    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • You and your family are still in my prayers! (((((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))))

    DS1 born 2/26/07 ~*~ DS2 born 10/18/10 ~*~ M/C 8/5/12 ~*~ DS3 born 6/21/13

    ~*~Surpise BFP #4 due in May 2015!!~*~


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  • You are such an amazing person, Quigley. As tears stream down my face, I'm praying you somehow find peace in the coming days?and I'll continue to do so. So much love for you, your husband, your son, and sweet Liam.   
    It was a rough road, but Arlo Daniel was born April 1, 2013—and our second rainbow is due October 12, 2014.
  • Continued thoughts, prayers, and love sent to you and your family. ((((hugs))))
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • There just aren't words sweetie.  Sending ((hugs)) and T&Ps just doesn't seem enough.  You are an amazing woman, and Liam is so lucky to have you as his mother. 
    TTC #1 Since 4/2010, Cycle 30 (P/SAIF, PGAL welcome)
    Positive for HLA-B27, I'm a mutant :p
    Testing - Me ok, gluten issue? DH - borderline count, low motility
    4/28/11 IUI#1 = BFP!(5/25), EDD 2/2/12 - m/c 5w3d
    7/3, 7/31, 9/25 - IUI#2-4=BFN
    IVF#1 - 1 blast = BFP!! (12/30), EDD 9/9/12, confirmed c/p 4w2d
    FET#1 3/2 - 2 blasts =BFP!! EDD 11/18/12, us#1 = twins! Confirmed m/c 5w6d
    4/20-surprise BFP and another c/p 4w2d
    FET#2 7/16 - 2 blasts = BFN
    FET#3 8/20 - 1 blast - BFP!! Beta #1-2=177, 354
    1st u/s 5w6d, one beautiful little HB :), 2nd u/s 146bpm
    baby girl born 5/10/13
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    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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    Tons of love and ((hugs)) to my BFPB, IF sister, IVF, and FET buddy NMscubagirl
  • (((HUGS))) Wherever your journey takes you, you will always be part of us, and part of what make the AL community so strong.
    AMA over 40
    Massive uterine fibroids removed 3/06
    BFP 1/11; MM/C discovered @ 10w, loss at 6w; Cytotec
    B/W 7/11 = normal CD3, FSH 8.9; 7DPO progesterone 1.7
    Three Clomid cycles, all BFN, Off to an RE for me...
    FSH=8.7 E2=30 AMH=1.8 HSG clear, SA=great
    Inj. IUI #1 12/9/11 BFN, Inj. IUI #2 1/6/12 BFN
    Inj. IUI #3 1/30/12 BFP!, HCG doubled through 6w, 7w u/s mm/c twins
    Factor V Leiden, Hetero, symptomatic
    Op Hysteroscopy 5/12, removed scar tissue and uterine septum
    Doing Cryo-DE IVF 
    Beautiful hatching 5-blast transfered 8/30
    BFP 9/7/12 EDD May 19, 2013
    A/S on 12/21/12, Petra's having a baby, it's the end of the world!
    Pebbles arrived safe and sound 4/13. Placenta accreta found.
    Op hysteroscopy 2/7, reopen ute/remove adhesions from accreta
    Found severe Ashermans. Fuuuuuuu... Repeat Op Hyst in March.
    Op Hyst ver 3.0 looks good so far, find out if it worked in June.
    Finally got the damn IUD out. Waiting to stop bleeding.
    SIS shows rippled funky shaped ute, but given clearance to begin sFET calendar.
    Here goes everything...
    sFET#2 BFP, ended in m/c.
    Waiting for the next Op Hysteroscopy to find out what next.
    Scratch that, retained tissue. 3rd Cytotec round.

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    "Petra, you are an obese 40+ year old. Stop jumping through these hoops. Just adopt already. There is no shame in that." -Deethebee
  • Sending you lots of prayers and ((hugs)) to you and your family! You are an incredibly strong woman and amazing mother. I know liam is lucky to have such wonderful mother!  
    ~PurpleFlower~

    Gummy Bear- EDD:09-29-11 M/C at 8wks measured 5-6wks 2-11-11


    Jelly Bean- EDD:06-19-13 no longer had a heart beat at 13wks 12-12-12

    We miss you my guardian angel!

    Diagnosed homozygous for MTHFR.


    pumpkin- EDD:10-13-13 CP at 4wks 02-01-13

    BFP:2-24-13 EDD:11-08-13 Beta#1:37 Beta#2:121



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  • AnjaOAnjaO
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    member
    You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.  <3

    BFP #1 8/14/10, DS born 4/30/11 
    BFP #2 9/30/12, M/C 10/23/12 
    BFP #3 12/16/12, CP 12/20/12 
    BFP #4 1/20/13, DD born 10/9/13
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Thank you for sharing Liam with us, Quigley. You and your precious family will be in my thoughts.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    BFP #2 9/5/2012 -- Born 5/20/2013 -- Welcome, rainbow baby!
    BFP #1 1/24/12 -- No HB 2/16/12 -- Misoprostol 3/10/12
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  • My heart goes out to you and your family, love and prayers to you, Liam and your family.
    It is clear you love Liam very much.
    [[[hugs]]]
    Losses: 6/04, 11/04, 1/06, 8/09, 7/12
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    Loriece Violet born 11/18/13 via emergency c section Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • (((Hugs))) You are in my thoughts and prayers.  I wanted to share with you one of my favorite quotes.  Hopefully it will bring you some comfort as it has for me in sad times. 

    " Goodbyes are not forever.  Goodbyes are not the end.  They simply mean we''ll miss you until we meet again" - Author Unknown

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    TTC since May 2011
    M/C #1 Chemical Pregnancy Aug 2011
    M/C #2 Blighted Ovum Feb 2012
    M/C #3 Missed Miscarriage after HB Aug 2012
    BFP #4 1/12/13 EDD: 9/26/13 Betas 12DPO: 45, 14DPO: 156, 19DPO: 904, 21DPO: 1,972, 26DPO: 12,230, 28DPO: 22,017
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • So much love to you and your family Quig
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • So many hugs, thoughts and prayers for you and your family. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

     Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    BFP#1 - 11/27/09 EDD 8/5/10, DS1 arrived 7/24/10 via emergency c-section.

    BFP#2 - 6/18/12 EDD 2/23/13, sweet baby girl born sleeping on 10/4/12 at 19 weeks, 3 days.

    BFP #3 - 1/18/13 EDD 10/1/13, natural mc on 2/2/13 at 5 weeks, 4 days.

    BFP #4 - 8/29/13 EDD 5/12/14, our sweet rainbow, DS2 born 4/29/14 via c-section

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