I'm on for the first time today and saw my call outs. Thank you so much...all of you. A quick update of the remainder of my week. Thursday we stuck around home mostly. Then my parents called around 7:30pm and asked if we'd be home. They went down to the beach and dragged that piece of driftwood that I carved Liam's name into! (DH and I were going to get it today.) I can't believe they did that for me. Well yes I can, but I was still so incredibly grateful. It's in our backyard now. Today DH and I took DS (and Liam) to a nearby state park spillway where you can feed hundreds and thousands of fish. DS loved it soooo much and DH and I hadn't been there since we were little kids! It was a beautiful day weather and company wise. It was just the four of us for the very last time. I got a picture with my camera on timer of us sitting on a bench in front of a bunch of red tulips. I will treasure it forever. Then we came home and played and did yardwork outside. DS sat on my lap and cuddled with me as we swung in our gazebo swing. He was so quiet. Almost like he "knew" it was just me and him and Liam. We were so quiet that birds actually came and ate from there feeders which are only about 6-8 feet away from the gazebo. I will never forget that either. Then before we went inside, I drove DS around the house on the riding mower. He loves it so much and I love that we did all of these things together. He's too young to know what's going on but I'll never forget this week with my boys.
Tomorrow at 8:00am is my procedure. I'm so sad and scared. I'm pretty sure I'd like to see him when all is said and done. I'll decide for sure tomorrow. Then what do I do after that on the way home without my Liam? I have to leave him there. They told me that remains are cremated and then sent to Illinois for burial. I pray with all my heart he knows how much I love him because I do...more than I can ever describe to anyone.
I'll update when I can. I may feel like it right away or it may take me a day or a week.. I have no idea, but I want each and every one of you to know how much I appreciate your love and support. As horrible as all of this has been, I'm telling you...your love has helped so much. Thank you ladies from the bottom of my heart.
***BFP 1-22-13, baby boy dx with Trisomy 13 at 15 weeks.
We let him go to Heaven on 4-27-13 at 17 weeks 1 day***