Trouble TTC

Rough IF Day

There are rare days that I barely know how I make it through another day of coping with IF, other than the fact that I have to. Today is one of them. Sometimes I am really optimistic, and sometimes the hopelessness is just overwhelming.

An occasion that should make me extremely happy is clouded by jealousy (which makes me feel incredibly guilty). My sister just told me she is pregnant with baby #2.  She  was lucky to get pregnant her 3rd month trying.  We started trying for #1 before her first was born, and here she is on baby #2. I don't get jealous of other people getting pregnant, but then it happens for my sister, and I do. Which makes me feel like the biggest @sshole alive. Sad I fricking hate IF.

 


** After  2 1/2 years of Unexplained IF, 2 failed medicated cycles, and 4 failed IUI's - our baby girl is coming to us through the miracle of Mini IVF! **

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Re: Rough IF Day

  • I am so sorry!! ((HUGS!!)) I got so jealous when my BFF told me she was pregnant...now her baby is 1 month old...I hated feeling guilty! I am so sorry you are going through this today. IF SUCKS!!!
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    Age: Me 26, DH 27, Married Oct. 10, 2009 ,TTC since March 2012
    Problem: Irregular menstruation, unexplained
    Nov&Dec-Provera because of no period after 35+ days
    First RE appt 1/10/2013
    Tests: TSH (normal), Prolactin (normal), SA (abnormal)
    Hysteroscopy (normal) and PCOS labs (negative/normal) 1/15/2013
    2/1/13- HPT BFP but Beta Hcg was negative
    Plan: Femara + Trigger + IUI in April if no real BFP before then Bloggy Blog!
  • I'm so sorry for the terrible IF day. Don't beat yourself up for taking the news hard. This is very tough!!! I find that it is the pregnancy announcement that is the hardest part for me. Once the idea of them being pregnant sinks in then I can feel mor

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    Married October 2009. Me 29 H 28.
    After 1 year of infertility, our little miracle was conceived via our 3rd IUI on May 5, 2013.
    Holland Sophia was born Jan 24, 2014.
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  • I am so sorry. I know how you feel. I have two good friends due next month and my SIL just found out she's knocked up with her BF/FI (?) who has two other illegimate children by two other moms that he never sees, but pays (out the azz) for and then the


    DH:30 Me:23
    TTC since: AUG 2011
    DX: Annovulatory
    Total Thyroidectomy OCT 2012
    HSG: CLEAR!!

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    --"He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it."
    - h2g2; Douglas Adams--

  • I am so sorry. I hope you had the chance to drink some wine and let yourself feel the way you do. I hope things get better for you soon.
     TTC#1 Since April 2011 
    BFP#1 5.23.12 C/P 4w4d 
    BFP #2 10.1.13
    EDD June 10, 2014
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  • I am so sorry that you're going through a rough spell Sad We are all familiar with the ups and downs of IF, so never feel like you're alone in feeling the mix of emotions, even

  • I'm sorry, thats a really really crummy feeling to have. You can't help how you feel and at the same time you hate that you feel as you do. I'm thinking of you. 
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    *Team Science Babies*
  • Uggg...none of this is easy, but situations like this make it so difficult.  Don't ever think you are being a bad sister or feel guilty for working through this news - you love your family and I am absolutely sure that your sister knows that!  L
  • I am so sorry.  What a tough day. Your feelings are natural though, try not to beat yourself up over them.  You are in my thoughts.

    The short story:
    TTC since June 2012. Fought infertility (anovulation & PCOS)
    until IVF finally led to BFP #1 in Nov
    2013.
    In March 2014 at 20 weeks PG we lost our precious baby due to severe deformities (TFMR).
    Started TTCAL June 2014 and got our miracle BFP #2 without infertility treatments 8/6/14!
     Praying this is our take-home baby.


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  • Awww, big hugs first of all. Like many others here, I know exactly how you feel. I think dealing with the guilt of feeling jealous is one of the worst parts for me... But like PP said, you're allowed to have your feelings and for me the jealousy fades aft
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    Me: 32 DH: 35  TTC#1 since March 2012
    Dx: Unexplained Infertility (poor embryo quality, arcuate uterus & mild endo) 

    IUI #1-5: BFN
    Laparoscopy & Hysteroscopy: minimal endo, partial septoplasty
    IVF #1: 10R/6M/6F ~ Day 3 ET = BFN
    IVF #2: 14R/9M/5F ~ transfer canceled ~ all embryos arrested at 1-2 cell stage
    IVF #3: 9R/5M/5F ~ 1 frosty!
    FET #1: BFN
    Working with Dr. KK on some RI issues before our next big move

    All are Welcome!
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  • I'm sorry yesterday was so hard, and I hope today looks a little brighter.  ((Hugs))
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    TTC #1 since November 2011
    Dx: Unexplained Infertility, probable endometriosis
    Feb-April 2013: Femara + TI: BFN
    May - September 2013:  Follistim + Ovidrel + IUI#1-4 = BFN
    IVF # 1 November 2013: transferred 1 perfect blast = BFN
    IVF # 2 April 2014: Endo scrape, transferred 2 blasts = BFP!! (first ever!), CP
    FET #1 June 2014: transferred 2 blasts = BFFN
    New Dx: Repeat Implantation Failure
    Hoping for IVF # 3 in November 2014
    *everyone welcome*
  • I completely understand. I haven't had it with my siblings yet, but my best friend/sister from another mister is on #2 and we also started TTC before she got pregnant with #1. 

    Your feelings are totally normal- don't feel like a jerk for them


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    New to the 3T board? *~*~*~*Click HERE first!*~*~*~*

    Losing the fight against my ovaries  34 35 months and counting

    Me: PCOS secondary to Hashimoto's (thyroid), endometrial hyperplasia, and a blocked tube

     DH-low motility and poor morphology

    My long and convoluted 7 month testing history can be found HERE

    Short story: if you've been trying for over a year, go straight to an RE. Don't waste time with an OB

     Treatment History 

    Medicated Cycle #1 (8/2013) 100mg Clomid , Stair-step to 150mg Clomid+ TI=  No Response
    Medicated Cycle #2, 3, 4 (9/13 10/13 11/13) 5mg Femara + TI + Ovidrel= BFN/No Response
    IUI #1 (1/14) 5mg Femara (CD3-CD7) + Follistim (50/100/150/200/250IU) = Over responded
    IUI #2 (3/14) 27 days of Follistim 50/75/100/150/200 (5 follies) + Lurpon+ IUI (12.5m motile) = BFN
    Next Up: coming off BCPs approximately 10/20 to start stimming for IVF #1

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    PAIF/SAIF/PGAL/PAL ALL WELCOME! 

    Eff YOU Uterus: The Blog             image           Pinterest

    "Fuck twins, it's a litter of kittens."- WQ

    "Apparently, mine doesn't deserve luxury. I have an economy vag.- Bibliothecary

    "On the way down the banister of life may your ass collect a thousand splinters."- DarcyHermione

     

  • It's hard to not be jealous, and it does suck.  But it's a normal reaction.  Give yourself some time to adjust to the news, and eventually I'm sure you'll start to feel happy for her.
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    TTC since Sept 2011, Unexplained IF
    Oct 12 - Jan 14: 3 clomid/TI cycles, 2 hysteroscopies, 2 IUIs, 1 BFP (MMC @ 12w), 2 more IUIs
    Feb 14: Gonal-f + IUI #5 = BFP! (EDD 11/4/14)

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  • Ugh.  That is hard.  So sorry you had a rough day.  Be kind to yourself for a few days.  Sending ((hugs)) your way. 

    **************SIGGY WARNING**************

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    Me 32 :: DH 40

     TTC since November, 2011

    DH's SA : Excellent

    Lap and Hysteroscopy June 2012

    DX: PCOS, Stage III Endo, slight Adenomyosis, blocked tube, and probable LPD

    Treatments:  6 Months Lupron Depot injections; 1500 mg metformin; 3 cycles of Clomid + TI = BFN

    3 endometrial biopsies all were "out of phase" 

    September - December, 2013:  Break to lose weight and get healthy

    40 lb weight loss but still not ovulating "in phase"  

    February - March 2014: bcps + follistim + trigger + TI = BFP

     Beta #1 (12dpo): 30; Beta #2 (18dpo): 500; Beta #3 (25dpo): 7,000!!! 

    1st u/s 4/16: One beautiful hb at 144 bmp 

    2nd u/s 4/29: hb at 166 bmp.  Graduated from RE!!

    TEAM PINK! 

    EDD: November 29, 2014

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  • Thank you all so much for your empathy and for letting me vent.  I thought about it, and I agree, I think the announcement is the hardest part. I think once the news settles in I will be ok being happy for her instead of focusing on feeling sad fo


    ** After  2 1/2 years of Unexplained IF, 2 failed medicated cycles, and 4 failed IUI's - our baby girl is coming to us through the miracle of Mini IVF! **

       BabyFruit Ticker
    image
  • Ugh, I'm sorry you are having a rough day....I can't even imagine how you are feeling after hearing that news :( take care of yourself and let yourself feel what you want to feel...hang in there and lots and lots of (((HUGS)))
    Me: 27, DH: 29*** TTC since November 2011 *** Dx with PCOS in September 2012 
    ***September 2012: IUI #1 = BFN*** 
     ***October 2012: IUI #2 = cancelled due to not responding to meds ***
     ***February 2013: IUI #3 - BFN ***
     *** April 2013: Gonal-f, HCG Trigger and TI = BFN*** 
     ***May/June 2013: TAKING A BREAK.***
    ***July 2013: Gonal-f, Trigger and TI = BFN***
    ***August 2013: Gonal-f, Trigger and TI = Cancelled due to over-stimulating***
    ***September/October 2013: Fermara, Gonal-f, Trigger and TI = BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Beta #1: 65, Beta #2: 210!!!!!!***




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  • I'm sorry you had a rough day :(  Hopefully today is going MUCH better! It's FRIDAY!  :)
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  • I think you are normal to feel the way you are.  You are only human and can't always protect the "heart on your sleeve" when it comes to IF.  I'm glad your husband is super supportive too.  That is a blessing for sure!  I had a colleag

    ************** Siggy Warning************


    Married August 2012 -- Me (40 yrs old) My husband (45 yrs. old) 

    RE referral from ObGYN in late Jan. 2013 -- Testing Confirms Unexplained IF 

    IUI #"s1 - 3 (Femara + IUI) April - June 2013 - all BFN

      Decided to do IVF... Began stimming on September 10th!  Egg Retrieval 9/20/13.  19 eggs: 6 to mature to freeze after 6 fertilized with ICSI

     3 morula stage embryos transferred on 9/25/13.....Beta #1 on 10/4/13/ = 7.5  Beta #2 on 10/6/13 =  negative

      IVF#2 - Lupron plan  (set to begin on 10/28/13)  (Planning on thawing and fertilizing our 6 eggs with ICSI as well as all of the mature eggs they retrieve with this fresh cycle.)

     Late October 2013 - ectopic pregnancy - methotrexate injection....benched 3 months

    CD1 - 12/5/13...Lupron set to start on 12/26/13; CD1 - 1/2/14....Baseline 1/3/14....begin follistim tonight and continue with lupron.  (Got my calendar today!  IVF#2 is a go!)

    ER = 1/14/14  (11 eggs....9 were mature. 9 fertilized.  Of the 6 mature eggs we thawed, only 4 fertilized.  At this time, we have 13 eggs fertilized and growing.  Waiting for news about a 3-day or 5-day transfer.)

    ET = 1/19/14  (5dt).....3 blastocysts transferred!   (All nine embryos didn't make it to freeze.  =(  )

    Beta #1 = 1/28/14   (2 weeks after ER)  BFP! 209 (9dp5dt)   EDD 10/7/14

    Beta #2 - 1/30/14  (11 dp5dt) 302

    Beta #3 - 2/3/14  (15 dp5dt)  1222 

    Ultrasound set for 2/17/14......TWINS!        Twin A - HR 124 bpm; Twin B - HR 126 bpm

    Final Ultrasound with RE 3/10/14 - Twin A - HR 176 bpm; Twin B - HR 177 bpm.

     PAIF/SAIF Welcome! 

     

     

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  • I'm so sorry that you're dealing with that. It's completely normal to feel that way but it still feels horrible to be sad and then have to deal with guilt on top of that. I hope today is going a little better.
    photo 124a2277-01eb-4d85-b15a-9ebc93b4492d_zps60ec49e8.jpg
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    photo fa452b59-b03d-4a7e-aadf-a27f9be4e3aa_zpsafc5052f.jpg

    IVF w/ ICSI #1 - ER 9/13, ET 9/18 - BFP! - Due 6/6/14
    beta #1 9/27 - 63, beta #2 9/30 - 224, beta #3 10/2 - 573, beta #4 10/4 - 1314
    Baby girl born 5/9/14 at 36 weeks
  • Oh GG, Im so sorry you are having a rough day.  Just know that its ok to feel how you feel ( I would be the same way), and I hope things get better.  (((hugs)))
    CafeMom Tickers
     Anniversary
    TTC since July 2011
    BFP #1: 2/15/12-Ectopic/Mtx at 6 wks

    BFP #2: 10/12/12-m/c at 5 wks. 
    BFP #3: 8/27/13
    Me: MTHFR, Low AMH (1.1), High NK cells and Antiphospholipid Antibodies.
    DH:MFI-Low morph (1%), DNA fragmentation: Excellent!
    5 rounds of clomid, 3 IUIs, and multiple non-medicated cycles- BFFN                                                      
    IVF with ICSI in August 2013 brought us our babies.  ER-9R, 7M, 4F w/ICSI  ET of 2-Grade 2 blasts. 
    + HPT at 6dp5dt. #1 (8dp5dt)- 105    #2 (13dp5dt)- 510  #3 (15dp5dt)- 960  #4 (17dp5dt)- 1889
    Dx shortened cervix, PTL, and preeclampsia during pregnancy.  Lots of medications and 13 weeks of bedrest, babies were born healthy at 34w4d!


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