Trouble TTC

How do I explain it? Got a little long.

First I want to say, I am not sure if this needs some sort of warning or not. I am about to talk about my uber-fertile SIL and some things my brother says to me about it.

About three or four months ago my brother mentioned that SIL was thinking about donating eggs. She would get paid a butt load of money for it and all that jazz. He knows what I am going through, I think. At the time it stung, but I brushed it off and moved on.

Last weekend I needed to get away from home and just relax, so I drove over to visit my brother and sister and to squish my sweet niece. Well, the fact that SIL went in for testing to see if she was a candidate for egg donation came we were talking a little about my IF. He started bragging about how the docs were so amazed by her follicles and how she is going to be able to donate up to six times in her life because she is just that fertile. I felt like I was being kicked in the gut. I didn't know what to say or how to react so I just sat there in shock. We had just talked about where I am in the diagnosis process and then he thinks it's appropriate to mention how amazingly fertile SIL is. Then he said that if I wanted a baby that looked like his beautiful daughter SIL would just give me an egg. Because we know that my eggs are the problem? I just sat there. 

Since I got home I have just been dwelling on this. I feel like it was so incredibly insensitive to bring up to me at all, but especially during the conversation of my lack of fertility. I want to say something, but I don't know what or how to say it. I am not mad that she is fertile and I don't want it to come across that way. I just want him to understand what is and isn't appropriate to talk to me about. What would you say? Would  you bring it up now or wait until the next time he says something? 

 TTC#1 Since April 2011 
BFP#1 5.23.12 C/P 4w4d 
BFP #2 10.1.13
EDD June 10, 2014

Re: How do I explain it? Got a little long.

  • If it will bother you if it comes up again, I would mention it.  You could bring it up in a non-confrontational way... hey brother, I wanted to talk about something.  When I visited last weekend and you were talking about SIL being a donor, I kn

    image     image

    TTC since Sept 2011, Unexplained IF
    Oct 12 - Feb 13:  2 clomid + TI BFNs, 2 hysteroscopies (fibroid)
    April 13:  clomid + TI = BFN
    May 13:  clomid + IUI #1 = BFN
    July 13:  clomid + IUI #2 = BFP!! 
    Oct 13:  Lost baby girl at 12w1d (MMC with D&C), Nov 13:  hysteroscopy #3
    Dec 13 & Jan 14:  2 clomid + IUI BFNs
    Feb 14: Gonal-f + IUI #5 = BFP (EDD 11/4/14)

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • image rox825:
    If it will bother you if it comes up again, I would mention it.  You could bring it up in a non-confrontational w
  • image brandykid:

    image rox825:<


    New to the 3T board? *~*~*~*Click HERE first!*~*~*~*

    Losing the fight against my ovaries 29 30 months and counting

    Me: Hashimoto's (thyroid), Annovulatory cycles, endometrial hyperplasia 

     DH-low motility and poor morphology


    My long and convoluted 7 month testing history can be found HERE
    Short story: if you've been trying for over a year, go straight to an RE. Don't waste time with an OB


     Treatment History 

    Medicated Cycle #1 (8/2013) 100mg Clomid , Stair-step to 150mg Clomid+ TI=  No Response
    Medicated Cycle #2, 3, 4 (9/13 10/13 11/13) 5mg Femara + TI + Ovidrel= BFN/No Response
    IUI #1 (1/14) 5mg Femara (CD3-CD7) + Follistim (50/100/150/200/250IU) = Over responded
    IUI #2 (3/14) 27 days of Follistim 50/75/100/150/200 (5 follies) + Lurpon+ IUI (12.5m motile) = BFN
    On a long-term getting well (physically/mentally/emotionally) self-benched break before IVF in late 2014


    Eff YOU Uterus: The Blog             image               Pinterest


  • PP has a great suggestion on how to approach it with your brother.  I'm sorry that your brother was horribly insensitive and that you had to go through that.  
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    TTC since July 2011
    BFP #1: 2/15/12-Ectopic/Mtx at 6 wks

    BFP #2: 10/12/12-m/c at 5 wks. 
    BFP #3: 8/27/13
    Me: MTHFR, Low AMH (1.1), High NK cells and Antiphospholipid Antibodies.
    DH:MFI-Low morph (1%), DNA fragmentation: Excellent!
    5 rounds of clomid, 3 IUIs, and multiple non-medicated cycles- BFFN                                                      
    IVF with ICSI in August- Lupron, Ganirelix, Lovenox, Dexamethasone, Menopur, Gonal-F, PIO, Progest/E2V, Monthly Intralipid infusions.
    ER-9R, 7M, 4F w/ICSI         ET of 2-Grade 2 blasts.  No frosties.
    + HPT at 6dp5dt!
    Beta #1 (8dp5dt)- 105         Beta #2 (13dp5dt)- 510
    Beta #3 (15dp5dt)- 960       Beta #4 (17dp5dt)- 1889
    Looks like we are having TWINS!! 
    Dx shortened cervix and PTL at 21w3d-Pessary placed, hospital bed rest for 6 weeks and many more at home, lots of medication to keep pregnant.  Stay in babies!!!

  • I'm sorry your brother was so insensitive.  The PP gave a great suggestion that I need to remember so I can use it too.  

    DH: 34 Me: 35 Married: 09-05-08 Off BC: Feb 2009  Started TTC #1: Oct 2011 Started BBT: July 2012 

    Me: Blood word good, HSG all clear. Synthroid 3x a week and level is down to 1.45 (12/13)
    DH: Dx. MFI- Bilateral Varicocele Surgery 12/11/13, repeat SAs in March and June of 2014

    Treatments: Me:  8/20/13 First TI cycle, Trigger, Crinone = BFN
              9/17/13 50mg Clomid, TI, Trigger, Estrace =BFN
    Future Plans:  Varicocele surgery on 12/11 then 6months on our own.  If no improvement IVF in the spring/summer
                          March SA doubled count, increased motility, morph was steady but heads are still small and low acrosome.
                                                      ~All are welcome


  • I'm not sure how I would handle that either, but I'm so sorry you had to sit through that!!! Why on earth would two people think that that would be OK to discuss with you at all, let alone right after discussing your IF.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Married October 2009. Me 29 H 28.
    After 1 year of infertility, our little miracle was conceived via our 3rd IUI on May 5, 2013.
    Holland Sophia was born Jan 24, 2014.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image rox825:
    If it will bother you if it comes up again, I would mention it. nbsp;You could bring it up in a nonconfrontational way... h
     TTC#1 Since April 2011 
    BFP#1 5.23.12 C/P 4w4d 
    BFP #2 10.1.13
    EDD June 10, 2014
  • oh girl...I totally understand. I'm so sorry :( Wish I had words of advice, but just want to offer HUGS!

    TTC #1 since 7/2011
    ME: 35  DH: 36
    HSG-1/16/12-possible blocked left tube
    BFP#1---CP 7/9/12
    Hysteroscopy-8/9/12-blocked left tube for sure, proceeding with IUI#1
    IUI#1 (Gonal-F + trigger)=BFP#2 m/c @ 19w1d D&E 1/23/13
    IUI #2 (Gonal F + trigger)=BFP#3 EDD 1/6/14 TWINS!!!
    Identical girls born 11/17/13
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • Sometimes I do not think that people in our intermediate families truly understand what could hurt when they speak of certain things. I am truly sorry that you had to sit through that. I probably would have started to cry and then walked out of the house.
  • image NariaDreaming:
    image brandyk
    Anniversary Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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    3TC March Siggy Challenge: Funny Internet Meme Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Age: Me 26, DH 27, Married Oct. 10, 2009 ,TTC since March 2012
    Problem: Irregular menstruation, unexplained
    Nov&Dec-Provera because of no period after 35+ days
    First RE appt 1/10/2013
    Tests: TSH (normal), Prolactin (normal), SA (abnormal)
    Hysteroscopy (normal) and PCOS labs (negative/normal) 1/15/2013
    2/1/13- HPT BFP but Beta Hcg was negative
    Plan: Femara + Trigger + IUI in April if no real BFP before then Bloggy Blog!
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