Baby Showers

advice planning my own shower

Let me change the words up a bit and shorten it up....

Is it wierd if I plan my own shower if I have no one else to plan it or me??

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Re: advice planning my own shower

  • My advice is to go back in time and not post this.
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  • Also, what is a "man mother"?
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  • Showers are gifts not requirements.  If no one offers to throw you a shower, you don't have one.
  • You don't. Either someone plans it for you or you don't get one.

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  • image 3222w27thst:
    Let me change the words up a bit and shorten it up....Is it wierd if I plan my own shower if I have no one else to plan it or me??
    Yes. Still tacky. Plus, if you have no one close enough to plan one for you, who would you even be inviting?
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  • Tacky to plan your own.  You aren't entitled to a shower.  If no one offers to throw you one, you don't get one.
  • It doesn't matter how you word your post, planning your own shower is tacky, rude, and in very poor etiquette.  Read a few of the other posts on this board about throwing  your own shower or even having a shower for your 2nd kid, and you'll see a taste of the etiquette police on this board and how snarky people will get when you go against people's advice. 

    -It's poor etiquette to throw yourself a gift giving party like a baby shower.  People in your circle may not tell it to your face, but they will be disgusted they were invited to a shower you threw for yourself. 

    -People will buy you gifts whether or not you have a shower. 

    -You are ultimately responsible for providing for your child, not other people

    -A baby shower is a gift from someone for coming into motherhood, not about getting loot out of people.

    You're better off saving the money you would have used to throw the shower and buy your own stuff. 

    To answer your question specifically, yes, it is weird to throw your own shower.

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  • image milkergirl1:

    It doesn't matter how you word your post, planning your own shower is tacky, rude, and in very poor etiquette.  Read a few of the other posts on this board about throwing  your own shower or even having a shower for your 2nd kid, and you'll see a taste of the etiquette police on this board and how snarky people will get when you go against people's advice. 

    -It's poor etiquette to throw yourself a gift giving party like a baby shower.  People in your circle may not tell it to your face, but they will be disgusted they were invited to a shower you threw for yourself. 

    -People will buy you gifts whether or not you have a shower. 

    -You are ultimately responsible for providing for your child, not other people

    -A baby shower is a gift from someone for coming into motherhood, not about getting loot out of people.

    You're better off saving the money you would have used to throw the shower and buy your own stuff. 

    To answer your question specifically, yes, it is weird to throw your own shower.

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  • It's a gift from someone else to you not a rite of passage. You never throw your own, there are not exceptions. For all you know someone will offer after your anatomy scan, just give it time. However, if no one offers you one and you do decide to be tacky your guests won't tell you but silently judge you, because it comes across as gift grabby. Take that money you would spend on a shower and buy stuff for you child yourself.
  • No one offered to throw me a shower until well into the 2nd trimester... like 24-26 weeks. 
  • image Estwd2:
    My advice is to go back in time and not post this.


    Lmao!
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    Hannah Evelyn 8.19.13
  • No it's not weird.  It's tacky and rude.  Don't do it.
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  • I'm calling MUD on this one.
  • I think it's up to your circle of friends. In my circle, mothers plan their own showers and they have showers for 2nd and 3rd babies. No one judges the mom or talks behind her back. We are all just happy about the baby and having an excuse to come party, drink, and eat. (and bring a gift)

    And if you're close to your man's mother, she could help out. 

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  • image EastCoastBride:
    image 3222w27thst:
    Let me change the words up a bit and shorten it up....Is it wierd if I plan my own shower if I have no one else to plan it or me??
    Yes. Still tacky. Plus, if you have no one close enough to plan one for you, who would you even be inviting?

    This. All of this. 

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  • I don't think this is MUD.  I've seen her post in other forums before.
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  • You have plenty of time for someone to offer to throw you a shower. Most are in 3rd trimester. I know I didn't get an offer until a couple months from where you are in your pregnancy. 
  • Please don't throw your own shower.  I think the PPs have explained why you shouldn't.

    You're still really early in your pregnancy.  Just be patient; one of your friends will probably offer to throw you a shower.  Just give them a chance.

  • Yes, very weird. Please don't.
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  • give someone the chance to offer, if they do not throw yourself a "Pregnancy Party" *poof* not a "baby shower" not tacky
  • image zsynez:
    give someone the chance to offer, if they do not throw yourself a "Pregnancy Party" *poof* not a "baby shower" not tacky

    Have whatever kind of party you want, but if you're still pregnant, and if you're the host, the baby and pregnancy should NOT be mentioned at all. If you want to celebrate the baby, have a meet the baby party AFTER the kiddo arrives.

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    AngelSmitty: This reminds me of something my college Human Sexuality professor used to say in class.  "Sex is between the legs.  Gender is between the ears."
  • image MzBecky:

    I think it's up to your circle of friends. In my circle, mothers plan their own showers and they have showers for 2nd and 3rd babies. No one judges the mom or talks behind her back. We are all just happy about the baby and having an excuse to come party, drink, and eat. (and bring a gift)

    And if you're close to your man's mother, she could help out. 

    So you and all of your friends are cool with being rude and entitled... lovely.  And, how do you know no one is talking behind anyone's back?  Are you psychic?

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  • Wow I didnt know this question would be so intense but thanks ladies I appreciate the advice and wont plan my own.
  • When are you due? People may just be waiting until your due date geta closer. Or maybe they want it to be a surprise.
  • Here's my opinion: Do whatever will make you happy. Having a baby is an overwhelming situation and taxes many resources -- celebrating with friends or family and appreciating their generousity is not wrong. No one on here knows your situation and etiquette rules have evolved in all regards. You used to not pay for your own wedding...most people do nowadays. You used to NEVER invite men to a baby shower...now there's entire articles about coed showers (on The Bump, no less). Why not throw your baby a shower (because that's what it is -- it's a shower for your baby...not YOU) and celebrate. The people making these very black and white comments haven't been in your situation (whatever that may be) and may not understand what it's like to move around or not have a bestie or a sister (which also used to be frowned upon, FYI) to invest in a baby shower. Good luck to you and congratulations!
  • I agree -- it's very much up to you and your circle of friends. If your friends aren't all of the ladies on these boards, you're probably solid!
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