September 2012 Moms

SIL vent (long)

Hey girls,

  So, we are going to Wisconsin on May 1st to visit DH's family and I am really not excited... I get along really well with my MIL, but my SIL is a total horror show and she drives me insane!  She thinks she is freakin Super Mom and honestly, she displays some of the worst parenting skills I have ever seen.  She has three kids and they are seriously the worst kids I have ever been around... the entire situation is such major chaos, and all she does is scream at the kids and call them names ALL THE TIME!  I know it's not their fault, they just have absolutely NO structure or guidance and so they act out constantly.  Their littlest child has Diabetes and instead of actually changing the way he eats and monitoring his sugars and food intake, they just let him eat whatever he wants and then up his doses of insulin because "it's just too hard to control him and what he eats", according to them.  (They even are potty training him by giving him candy bars!  Really, for a diabetic child?????)  he drs have warned them about this and told them that they are doing a disservice to their child and that he is extremely unhealthy, but they don't listen. 

  I know that she is going to criticize everything I do with my LO and I am just so not up for it...  She sent me a gift for my baby shower and straight up told me that she looked at my registry but didn't think that anything I had on it was appropriate or what I should use, so she just sent me a bunch of crap that SHE thought I should use that I didn't want!  Right down to the diaper cream she thought I should use!! GRRR!!)  When she came down to visit us after I had Jake, all she did was tell me what to do, boss me around, and judge everything I did as a new mom.  She thinks it's hilarious that he goes to bed at 7pm and has two naps a day... meanwhile, my child sttn and her kids don't sleep for crap and are always up until 11 or 12 every night!  We've already had a couple of arguments about what we are bringing with us because she wants us to use all the crap she has, but I am not comfortable with it. 

  She has an old play pen she thinks that our LO should sleep in and she doesn't want us to bring our PnP.  She also thinks we should use their old convertible car seat, but doesn't have the base that goes with it anymore so it can't be rear facing.  When I questioned her about this, she totally made fun of me and said that for a week, it didn't matter how LO sat in the car and that her kids all survived so ours would too.  I am really uncomfortable with the whole situation, but I don't know what to say to her about it... she already calls me "princess" and pokes fun at everything I do with my own child.  It's a sensitive issue between MH and I because he wants to defend me, but he also is trying to keep the peace between the whole family... but we just end up fighting about it because I don't feel like he backs me up with her and I end up being judged and criticized when we are all together. 

Anyway, any polite ways you think I can handle this or explain it to her without ruffling feathers?  I just feel much more comfortable using our own things even if we have to lug them all on the plane with us... but whenever I have tried to tell her that, she flies off the handle and thinks that I am calling her a bad mom because all of her kids used this stuff and were just fine.  What I really want to say is, "actually, no, your kids are not fine... you oldest ended up in the hospital with a broken collar bone from a car accident while she was using the car seat because it wasn't safe for her to be forward facing and it didn't fit right, so she went flying out of it... and your littlest one ended up with stiches in his cheek because the play pen has edges and screws that are not covered and cut his face too! So, no I don't want to use your crap because I don't think it's safe for my child!"... Ugh!  So frustrating!  I just don't want to fight with anyone, but I want to stand up for my child and do what is the safest for him! 

Sorry, I feel like this may not have made sense... hopefully u gals will understand and have some advice!  And, if you made it this far, you should give yourself a cookie! 


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Re: SIL vent (long)

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