Pregnant after 35

Daniel Ulrich is here! (LONG)

Hi all! Bumping from my phone is a pain in the rear and never seems to work quite right, so this had to wait until I made it back to my desktop. Baby Daniel was born just about exactly one week ago--he arrived on April 16 at 9:23 AM, weighing 7 lb 11 oz and 20 inches long. Apparently he didn't get the memo from my Hypnobabies affirmations about being in the perfect position to be born easily and quickly. My labor was very Jekyll and Hyde. It started at 1:30 AM on the 15th and proceeded normally and manageably with my doula by my side from about 5:30 AM on. We decided to head to the hospital mid-afternoon. I did not want to know how dilated I was but was told that I had come in at just the right time (I later found out I was at 7 cm). My doula said I would have my baby by sunset, and I was so excited. I survived the strip and then got to relax in the tub, which was pure heaven. My doula and the midwife know each other, and they gossiped like old women and did the hip squeeze during contractions. I remember that time very fondly, easily the nicest part of my labor--cozy and comfortable despite the pretty intense contractions.

And then the sun went down and I was still in labor. He was in some screwball position way off to the right, and the midwife thought he had turned posterior, so we tried her and the doula stretching a towel behind my back and basically rolling me back and forth trying to get him to move. We did the cold Coke can on my back, we tried various positions for contractions, all kinds of things. Finally the midwife was getting worried and checked me--still only 9 cm, not complete. (The number slipped out, oops.)  I asked if I could just nap for an hour and get a second wind. She agreed, and I had the Hypnobabies First Stage track playing and did indeed have a nice nap that left me refreshed. She checked me again. 9 cm with half a lip, so some improvement, but still not complete. She suggested breaking my water to help the baby move down. I reluctantly agreed. Unfortunately, it didn't seem to help much. I was told not to push, which was difficult to impossible to sustain. Finally I bounced on a birthing ball in the shower for about an hour--the warm water felt good, but I still couldn't stop the pushing completely. Things got increasingly miserable, and at last I ended up on the bed with nearly continuous contractions I couldn't help but push against and shaking so hard the bed was moving. And still not complete after so many hours. Clearly something was not right. I reluctantly agreed to an epidural just before 4 AM as a chance to sleep a little, escape the relentless contractions, and hopefully crawl over the finish line to complete and push the baby out. The anesthesiologist had to stand there waiting for 20 minutes while I tried to regain enough control to be still for the needle to be placed, the absolute rock-bottom moment of this whole ordeal. Fortunately it worked, I slept for an hour or two, and the midwife came back and pronounced me complete. I tried to push the baby out for an hour in the hated lithotomy position. Didn't work. The midwife said she thought the baby had an asynclitic head (cocked to one side and crooked so it does not press on the cervix properly) and that was why we were having so much trouble. The backup OB came in (fortunately the nicest of the three at the practice and my MW's favorite) and examined me and said he was wedged so tight she couldn't even get her hand around to get past him. I asked if I could try pushing in a less idiotic position and she said sure, but that she didn't think even a vacuum could get him out at this point (almost 32 hours after labor began). I said, "So you're throwing in the towel and calling for a C-section?" She said, "I'm not throwing anything, but I don't think he's going to be able to get out in the position that he is in." She clearly felt bad for me but also clearly felt it was pointless to continue, and so I had a complete bawling meltdown. My parents called the room in the middle of this meltdown--worst timing ever--so I bawled all over them for a while, and my doula and my husband and the midwife all tried to comfort me. I knew the midwife had tried her best to give me some semblance of the natural birth I wanted, but it just wasn't going to happen. I understood that a C-section was genuinely necessary, but I felt so cheated and bewildered that everything had started so well and then turned into complete and utter $hit.

I agreed to the section, and we hit the OR and got underway just after 9:00. My husband, midwife, and doula were all there, and my doula took some amazing pictures for me. The nurses were very nice, and after not too long, there was this baby being held up above the drape. It felt so surreal, like someone had just pulled a rabbit out of a hat. It didn't really seem like that was MY baby, but it was, and he filled the room with a window-rattling cry, so he was clearly in good shape despite everything. My husband and doula went over to the area where he was being cleaned up, he got an Apgar of 8, and within five minutes he was skin to skin with me above the drape, which almost made up for the fact that I had been sliced up like a fracking ham steak. He was just beautiful, with a lovely head of hair and gorgeous features. With some assistance from the doula and nurses, we had him nursing within ten minutes. It took another hour to finish sewing me back up, but being able to have Daniel skin to skin made everything so much better. The doula said she had never seen a c/s team get a baby on Mom's chest so quickly before. I got to keep him right there on me for over an hour in recovery before the pediatrician examined him, so although I feel like a got a whole damn barrel of lemons from my labor, I set to work making a nice batch of lemonade.

Here's a picture to reward you for making it through my novel-length birth story:


Over-40 parents...what we lack in vigor, we make up for with cunning.

Re: Daniel Ulrich is here! (LONG)

    Ninth Anniversary 250 Answers 1000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Congratulations!  He's perfect.
    Me-41, Hubby-40.
    1st BFP-8/17/12!  Missed Miscarriage discovered @ 8 week US.  D&C.
    2nd BFP-2/13/13!  Blighted Ovum discovered @ 8 week US. Natural miscarriage.
    3rd BFP-5/22/13!  By early June, progesterone plummeting.  Another loss.
    August 2013 - started Donor Egg process, but surprise BFP with my own eggs.
    Dear Son born 5/28/14
  • Aw I'm sorry your labor did not go the way you wanted or planned you know I understand first hand. No bones, csections suck. But, Daniel is here and he is wonderful! Congratulations! So happy for you and to see this update! Yay!
  • Congratulations! He's beautiful! Wish things went more smoothly for you and hope your recovery is as easy as possible.
    About me:AMA 41 BFP 8/1/12 EDD 4/8/12 Found no Heartbeat 9/5/12 D&C 9/12/12

    BFP 12/13/12 EDD 8/22/13 Lilah Ruby born 8/8/13
  • Congratulations! He's adorable.

    So sorry the delivery wasn't exactly as you had hoped, but it sounds like you definitely made the best of it. 

    Me: 38, PCOS/ DH: 37

    DD born 12.21.09, conceived w/ injects and IUI

    TTC#2 since Nov 2011

    BFP 2.6.12 m/c 6w5d | BFP 5.25.12 c/p

    -Back to the RE-

    3 medicated IUIs, all BFN

    -Taking a break from treatment-

    BFP 11.20.12 ~ EDD 7.28.13

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  • I'm sorry that your birth plan didn't go as planned. But you have a beautiful healthy baby in the end! He's perfect!

    Me:40 AMA, DH:36 0% morph, TTC#1;
    BFP#1 4/2011, MMC 6/2011 11wks Trisomy 13;
    BFP#2 11/2011, CP
    FSH: 17.9, AMH: 2.2
    IVF#1 w/ICSI: ER 4/3: 5R,4M,4F
    ET 4/6 All 4 (1-8A+, 2-8A-, 1-3A) BFP#3
    Two weeks of beta hell = Blighted Ovum
    IVF#2 Aug/Sept: ER 8/27: 4R,3M,3F
    ET 8/30 (1-8A+, 1-6A+)
    Beta#1 9/10: 350; Beta#2 9/12: 796; Beta#3 9/20: 9155
    Expecting Boy/Girl Twins! My babies were born 4/23/13 at 36w1d!


  • Congratulations!!  Sorry the delivery didn't go as you had hoped.  Reading your story reminded me a lot of my daughter's birth almost 2.5 years ago.  Everything looking really good, but baby won't come out, then turns out she (he) is in

    Me - 38 DH - 38 DD - 2 pregnancy
  • Congratulations! He's beautiful :)

    TTC since 3/2010. Me 41, DH-49. After 3 years, 6 IUIs and several IVFs we have finally have our beautiful baby girl, born on 11/7/13.

  • He's gorgeous! Congratulations!
    Wishing you an easy and speedy recovery from the C-section and all the joy in the world with your new son. 

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  • Oh I'm so happy to see this.  Big congratulations he is just adorable!  Wow what a birth story that is too.  I'm so sorry you didn't get the birth you wanted but clearly you couldn't have tried any more than you could to go natural.&nb
    TTC since Dec. 2010. Me: 37, DH: 38...unexplained RPL
    BFP #1 - missed m/c 4.18.11 found @8w3d, d&c @13w 
    BFP #2 blighted ovum found 8.2011 @8w, misoprostol
    BFP#3 - missed m/c 6.11.12 @ 9w3d, d&c revealed extra chromosome 15
    BFP#4 8.10.12, DD born 4/26/13
  • Congrats on your beautiful son! I'm sorry you didn't get the birth experience you were hoping for. A lot of your experience was similar to mine except I was lucky to eventually push DD out. Her giant head looked like a big cone! LOL. Enjoy mommyhood. Ho

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  • Congratulations!  He's beautiful!
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  • Congrats, he's adorable! Best wishes for a speedy recovery!
    nate and teddy
    Me 41 DH 46  Not actively ttc, surprise BFP on 1/6/11! 4/1/11 m/c our sunshine at 16wks after complications from CVS test. TTC #2 **5th cycle 12/6/11 BFP! Missed m/c at 9 weeks 1/21/12, trisomy 14. Two Chemical PG 3/12&7/12
    ** BFP 8/16/12 beta #1 148! beta#2 407 beta #3 4000 u/s 9.10 1 lovely hb 126, Baby Boy is due 04/28/13!!
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  • Congratulations and welcome to the world, Daniel!

    I'm sorry you had such a harrowing labour, but I'm glad you got a lovely child at the end of it! Hooray!

    "You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was." 
            -- Abraham Lincoln

                               Me:39  MH:39 
    DD born 6/1/2013 after 15 months of TTC with one loss.    
    TTC #2: BFP 4/22 but stalled growth and no HB at 9w3d on 5/30        

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  • Congratulations! He's a cutie and I like the name!
  • Congratulations!!  He's beautiful!!
    TTC since 10/09 Me-43 DH-44 RE and testing 10/10-11/10, Recommending IVF 1/11 New RE AMA and DOR-DH low motility IVF #1.1 cancelled 3/11 due to poor response IVF #1.2 May 2011, one perfect 8-cell embryo, 3dt-BFN, IVF #2.1 Converted to IUI d/t poor response. New RE 9/2011. IVF 2.2 completed using HGH,EPP,DHEA, Q-10 and accupuncture. Transferred one 8-cell, grade one embryo on 10/19. BFP 10/31/11 Chemical pregancy on 11/2/11. Started stims for IVF #3, our final try, on 12-2-11. ET on 12/18. Transferred 3 Grade A embryos-BFFN Planning DE IVF, late March/early April- Donors ER expected to be 4/2-4/4. PAIF/SAIF welcome
  • He's beautiful, congrats!  I know we've had our "differences", and I am truly sorry that your labor/delivery wasn't what you had hoped for, but it sounds like you gave it everything you had!  That takes a LOT!  Like you alluded to, the end

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  • Ohhhh, he is beautiful, congratulations. You are one tough lady to endure all you've been through.
    Me: 37, DH: 34
    Expecting LO #2!

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  • Congrats! Gorgeous baby! Bummer that you didn't get birth you wanted.

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    IF History in my Bio!

  • Oh your story just brought me to tears. He is just beautiful.
    Proud 36yr old Mama of 4
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  • I'm sorry you didn't get the birth experience you wanted to but kudos to you for making lemonade out of all those lemons! Daniel is beautiful! Congratulations!!
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  • Congratulations! He's beautiful!! :D
  • Thanks very much for all the replies and well wishes. I am sorry to say that Days 2 and 3 of his life were quite difficult. He was clearly groggy after the epi and csection and probably just plain tired after the long labor. He latched on well but was not
    Over-40 parents...what we lack in vigor, we make up for with cunning.
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