Due to a disability, I was never able to get LO in place to nurse him, so I've been pumping since day 1. I've never had a lot of milk, even though I'm on domperidone to build my supply. Anyways, I've been to see Lactation consultants and today I saw a doctor who specialises in breastfeeding. She said that she doesn't know why I'm making so little, and that for the amount of time I'm pumping and what I'm getting, it's hardly worth it. In a way I'm relieved to hear that - I'm so stressed an anxious and all I can think about is milk, so it was nice to get permission to stop, if that makes sense.
Anyways, I'm relieved but at the same time I feel horribly guilty and like a failure because I couldn't feed my child. I know it's not my fault any more than it's the fault of a woman who winds up wit a c/s, but I still feel awful. I'm not sure what i'm trying to get from this post, just venting I guess.