Babies: 0 - 3 Months

It's hard to surrender LO to DH

Call me crazy, but I have a hard time completely surrendering LO to DH. For us to be first time parents at an older age, I will be the first one to give us both credit for adjusting to this new life change that we never anticipated as this pregnancy was a complete surprise. We are learning many things as we go. Bottom line is neither of us have had much practice besides babysitting a niece or nephew here and there but never a newborn. Newborns always made us nervous. So we both are actually doing pretty good and I'm surprised at how much comes natural.

I'm a SAHM for now while DH works so most of LO's care comes from me and I must say it is exhausting day in and day out. When DH comes home in the evening and on the weekends, I feel relieved because I can freely shower or eat or whatever. However even though I feel relieved, I never totally relieve myself. I'm always looking or lurking around a corner if LO cries with DH ready to sooth LO or "help out" DH; further delaying my shower or my dinner or any errands that I may need to run. DH is offended 1) because he thinks I don't trust him to "do as good a job with LO" as myself. 2) because I act like I could use the break or relief when I'm with LO alone but as soon as DH says...go do something for yourself..I'll take the baby, I act and even feel relieved but I never totally relieve myself. Even if he gets up at night on the weekend with LO, I still somehow have the urge to help if LO cries a little longer while with DH but at the same time, I know I could and actually do want the relief. But I have to make a conscious effort NOT to intervene. Ugh! Does this make any freakin' sense at all?


 

Re: It's hard to surrender LO to DH

  • Leave the house. Seriously, go to the grocery store, or get a pedicure, or walk around Target for an hour.

     Also, keep in mind that just because your husband does something differently than you do, doesn't make it wrong. DH and I have diffe

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  • imagemabenner1:

    Leave the house. Seriously, go to the grocery store, or get a pedicure, or walk around Target for an hour.

    &

    Formerly known as elmoali :)

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  • I left DS with DH to go bridesmaids shopping with my sister in law. It was much harder on me to leave then my impending absence was on either of them. :) I made it 2 hours without calling and it made it much worse once I called. We all survived though and
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  • I still get those feelings sometimes, but I just go on with what I need to.  Like pp said, it will get easier.
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  • It will get easier. I suggest your first task is a run to target or out for a haircut... Somewhere where you can walk or sit out of the house. You will be relieved to find out your DH and LO and you survived!
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  • I agree with PP's that you need to get out and do something by yourself... but I also totally understand your feelings because I'm the same way! Whenever DH has DD and she starts to cry, my first instinct is to go and see what's wrong and if I can help. W
    PCOS with long, irregular cycles
    First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013 
    BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014

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  • imagemabenner1:

    Leave the house. Seriously, go to the grocery store, or get a pedicure, or walk around Target for an hour.

    &

  • imagetashadee75:
    imagemabenner1:</st
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  • It's an understandable feeling, but you are totally screwing yourself (not trying to be mean, but it's true.) If you don't let your DH do things and do them his way, he may well give up and then suddenly you HAVE TO do everything, which would suck. Let hi
  • I understand the impulse bc the fact is the buck stops with mom. When nothing works its up to mom to fix it. At least that is how I feel and why I can't fully relax when hubby or mil or whoever is trying to calm LO down. But I always say to them, when yo
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