Sigh, I'm not sure what to do

It has been forever since I've posted, but here it is

My older sister lives 4 blocks away, her daughter is 2 (mine are 3 & 5). Sometimes they all play well, sometimes it is chaos. She asks lots of favors, like will you watch her while I get some errands done, etc. No big deal, I tend not to, bc I am perfectly able to take my kids and get stuff done. She parents differently, and her child is different. My sis also doesn't really enforce any real rules or boundaries, and there is no night time pattern sometimes my niece is but to 10 or 11, sometimes she is put to bed at 7 and screams for an hour. It drives my dh crazy, particularly since her daughter who tends to be a whiner/cry about everything and pitches fits etc (she's two, I know you are shocked).

So sis asks if I can watch her while she goes away, just for one night, her hubs will get her when he comes home, etc etc etc. Her best friend is getting married she needs to go to key west for the bachelorette party. I say fine, but my dh's birthday is X and I don't want to do it that day. No, of course not, it is two days later, and she would never ask that. I have it written down, and circled so that I don't forget.

But here, a month after I have agreed, and talked it out with hubs (who was less than thrilled), guess what day it turns out to be, yep,  dh's birthday. I don't know what to do.


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Re: Sigh, I'm not sure what to do

  • I would apologize, but tell her that due to it being on your husband's birthday, you won't be able to watch her for the night. A bachelorette party is something, IMO, she could easily miss. It's not as if it's an actual wedding or she was in the hospit

  • Is she a single mom? Is there a reason she can't stay with her dad?

    I'd probably be more likely to bend a little for a single mom, I just imagine that the time away is even tougher to find if there's no dad in the picture at all. But, not on some

  • I personally wouldn't bend at all, It's your DH's birthday and it is her fault for telling you the wrong date.  There must be someone else who can watch her daughter.
  • Personally, we don't find adult birthdays a fixed day.  We often times will have a nice dinner on a different day so we can include other family.  So, I wouldn't have a problem with watching my niece on a bd. 
    Formerly Known as Echowysp (or Recipe of the Day Lady)
    Come find tonight's dinner

  • Since you specifically said anytime but your H's birthday when you first talked about it, you're definitely not in the wrong to say no now. Maybe her H needs to come home early so you don't have her late into the night.


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  • "I'm sorry but I just can't do it that day. Here's the number of a great babysitter."
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  • I would tell her very nicely that you are sorry but that is not the date you discussed when you agreed to help and the new date does not work for you.  Say you are sorry and leave it at that.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
  • If she told you the wrong date, it's her problem and you can cancel on her.  You did tell her that you would not be available to babysit on your H's bday.  If the mistake about the date was yours, you have to apologize to your H and watch you

    Secondary English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 9th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 4th grade
  • SIL wants to party.  DH is not thrilled about taking her.  You are trying to be peacekeeper because YOU are the one that deals with her most.  You are the one stuck here.

    Frankly, like a pp mentioned, as an adult bday, we are grown

    If you really want to be happy, no one can stop you.

  • It sounds like you already do a lot for her, so you shouldn't feel guilty telling her no. You made it very clear it couldn't be on a certain date. It isn't your fault it ended up falling on that date.

    If she really w

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