TTC After a Loss

Rough Day Today

Newborn mentioned

Anyone got any hugs or good thoughts for me? My SIL is having her baby today...a scheduled c-section this morning. She has told me multiple times that she is indifferent to having a baby and has never once actually expressed any happiness about having this child or being pregnant. It will be the first grandchild for MIL and I can't help but get so sad and so angry that it's not us. We had been trying for so long when they got pg, and I always expected we would be the first. They don't even have the nursey done yet (as of yesterday afternoon). I mean, this c-section has been scheduled for's ridiculous.

I also found out this morning that another couple friend of ours is pregnant. I'm happy for them, but I'm so hurt for me. I can't help but already get upset. I don't fit in with any of my friends anymore - they either have children or are pregnant. We told all of our friends about our 5th loss and not even all of them asked me at the time if I was ok or said they were sorry we were going through that. Now, we've had another one and they all talk about me when I'm not around about how I'll handle another baby or another pregnancy, but only ONE friend has ever asked if I'm ok. I feel like I'm the elephant in the room and that no one actually cares about me anymore.

To make it even worse, DH hasn't been feeling well (not in the cold/flu kind of way, but really dizzy and his balance is off kind of way). That is scary because it's not a normal cold or something and he is kind of a loss of what type of doctor to go to. If it were up to me, right now, I would just give up totally and run away with DH to Italy for the rest of our lives.

This post doesn't even begin to cover everything that is currently going on in our lives, but I had to at least get some of it out. I'm just in real need of some extra love, support, or anything else anyone has to offer. Thanks ladies. I hope your Monday is starting out infinitely better than mine.Sad

TTC since April 2010
BFP #1 – March 2011, missed m/c April 2011
BFP #2 – October 2011, m/c November 2011
Surprise BFP #3 – December 2011, diagnosed as cornual, terminated January 2012
BFP #4 – June 2012, m/c July 2012
Diagnosed with bicornuate ute and MTHR gene mutation
BFP #5 – October 2012, missed m/c November 2012
BFP #6 – January 2013, m/c March 2013
No longer TTC. Diagnosis: Hostile ute. Heartbroken and bitter. Pursuing surrogacy.
June 2013 - Carrier found! Could this really happen?!
~All AL always welcome~


Re: Rough Day Today

  • *HUGS* :( sorry you're dealing with all this.
    BFP#1 9/28/2012 - EDD 6/3/2013 - MMC discovered 11/21/2012 @ 12w2d - D&C 11/24/2012
    BFP#2 4/4/2013 - Born at 37w3d on 11/26/13 via emergency c-section
    Loving our beautiful rainbow baby boy Archer!

    ~*All AL Welcome*~
  • Oh Sammer, Huge (((((hugs))))) for you. 
    TTC #3 since Aug 2009
    2 ds 2004 and 2009
    8 angels, including one heteroectopic pregnancy
    lost right tube

    clotting/RPL panel results normal, genetic testing results normal
    CD2 BW results FSH 5 LH 7 dx: PCOS Dec 2013

    1500mg metformin started Dec 2013        
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    ~*~All are welcome~*~

  • I'm SO sorry that you're having a rough day. I can relate to your feeling like the elephant in the room, thats how I felt yesterday at H's family's Easter dinner..and it sucks.

    I hope your H is able to get checked out to see whats going on, and I


    Missing Our July Sparkler
    BFP#1-11/12/12, MMC 1/16/13-baby stopped growing @ 9wks, found out at 13wks, D&E 1/25/13
    BFP#2-4/23/13 EDD-01/02/14 baby BOY born 12/31/13 Michael Cameron <3

  • ((Sammer)) So sorry you have to deal with all of that! 
    TTC Our Rainbow Since May 2011

    BFP#1 9/9/12 -- EDD 5/14/13 -- MMC 10/10/12 Miso 10/19/12

    BFP #2 9/17/13 -- EDD 5/25/14-- CP confirmed 9/21/13
     BFP #3
    2/1/14 -- EDD 10/5/14 -- NMC 2/10/14

    Dx: Hetero MTHFR & low Progesterone

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  • I'm so sorry, Sammer. Your sil sounds like a pill - I hope you can at least avoid her for the next little while.

    I hope yh's health issues turn out to be nothing to worry about - you may have already checked this out, but one not-scary possibili

    image image
    BFP #1 08/05/12. EDD 4/15/13 m/c 08/27/12
    BFP #2 06/05/13. EDD 2/16/2014 (Team Blue). Baby Wombat born 2/20/2014 7lb. 11oz and 20 in.
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • I'm sorry.  (((hugs))) Sounds like you and DH need some alone time and need to do something for yourselves.  Take a weekend away or something if you can to get your mind off things.  

    I'm sorry that your friends are handling your l

    BFP #1 October 2008 | m/c Thanksgiving weekend | November 2008 | 7 weeks 2 days

    BFP #2 February 2009 | m/c March 2009 | 4 weeks 3 days
    Testing on mom and dad for possible reasons all came back normal.
    BFP #3 8/4/2009 | DD born 3/28/10 @ 38 weeks
    BFP #4 5/13/11 | m/c 6/15/11 | 8 weeks 6 days
    BFP #5 2/13/13 | CP 2/19/13 | 4 weeks 
    BFP #6 3/21/14 | Heard the HB on 4/16 | m/c 4/21/14 | 9 weeks
    Testing results all returned normal and baby was a GIRL.
    More testing on mom and dad for other issues all returned normal results.

    "Dear Lord, I would have loved to have held my babies on my lap & tell them about you, but since I didn't get the chance, would you please hold them on your lap & tell them about me?"
    All are welcome!
  • I'd absolutely love to give you all the ((HUGS)) and support you need.  I am so sorry you are having such a rough time.  It is so hard to be around others sometimes when they don't know what they should say to you or if they should say anything

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  • Very sorry you are having a rough day. Having been on the "other" side (having a friend with a loss and others with pregnancies/babies), I now realize you have no idea what people go through. Even in this day and age, it seems almost taboo to speak of


    ~*~EVERYONE always welcome!!~*~
    TTC #1 since October 2012
    BFP #1 11/22/12 EDD 7/29/13 MMC 1/14/13, D&C 1/16/13
    BFP #2 5/7/13 EDD 1/14/2014 Ectopic discovered 5/21/13, lost left tube
    Referred to RE, blood work done August 2013, AMH 0.27, all else normal, HSG clear
    BFP #3 12/1/13 EDD 8/8/14, MC 12/24/13
    January 2014: RE #2, blood work repeated, homozygous MTHFR c677t, SHG clear
    BFP #4 4/7/14 EDD 12/15/14
    Dylan Bruce arrived 12/6/14 at 4:26pm via c-section. 6lbs, 7oz and 21" long!!

  • I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. Do something nice for yourelf today and I'm sending tons of (((hugs))) your way.

    BFP #1 5.26.08 DD born 1.4.2009
    BFP #2 3.11.12 m/c 3.17.12
    BFP #3 10.7.12 m/c 10.27.12
    BFP #4 2.24.13 ectopic MTX 3.13.13 Right tube removed 3.29.13
    BFP #5 5.27.13 EDD 2.7.14 *stick baby stick*

    [all AL welcome]

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  • km_mdkm_md
    10000 Comments 250 Answers Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    ((((hugs)))) sammer. I'm so so sorry. Your friends are really not being friends right now. It is horrible how they are treating you and now you have to deal with that on top of everything else. I know that it doesn't make up for everything, but your frien
    Married my own Prince at Walt Disney World Resort on September 9th, 2010 
    BFP#1 - 25/Aug/12 - EDD 2/May/13 - M/C - 08/Sept/12 - 6w2d - Never in my arms, forever in my heart <3
    BFP#2 - 13/May/13 - EDD 25/Jan/14 - Evelyn born January 27th 2014 

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    Congratulations to all of my TTCAL Treehouse friends on their BFPs and Rainbow Babies!!
  • Oh sammer, I'm so sorry.  Lots and lots of HUGS to you!!




    BFP: 9/3/98, DS born 5/7/99

    Uterine Surgery: 9/2011
    Married DH: 12/10/11
    TTC: 12/2011

    3 Angel babies in 2012

    Failed IF treatments in 2013

    Break cycle:
    BFP: 8/25/13, DD born 5/2/14

    September 2014:  TTC Rainbow baby #2

    2 Angel babies in 2014

    ~~~~Missing my Angels every day~~~~



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  • I'm very sorry your friends aren't being more supportive.  ((HUGS))  I hope whatever is going on with your DH isn't anything serious and he starts feeling better soon.
    BFP #1 (DS, 10/98), BFP #2 (DD, 10/09)
    BFP #3 -mm/c @ 7wks, discovered at 9wks, D&C 9/28
    BFP #4 5/29 EDD 2/9 - please be our rainbow
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  • I love you. (((BIG HUGS)))
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    ~*~Everyone is welcome~*~
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  • I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with all of this, Sammer. ((((((((((((((HUGE HUGS)))))))))))))))))
    TTC since 4/28/07
    Diagnosed w/ endometriosis 12/2010 Laproscopic surgery & 6 months of Lupron
    BFP 12/17/2011,EDD 8/23/12,ectopic discovered 12/29/11 at 6 weeks recieved methotrexate
    Dec '12 HSG & ultrasound showed abnormalities & more endo. Laproscopic surgery in January '13 showed significant damage & scar tissue from Endo. IVF is our best shot to concieve our rainbow.

    June '13 Decided to go the adoption route!

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  • Oh love.  I'm just so sorry for all of this.  (((hugs)))
  • So sorry you are dealing with this!


     image  image

    BFP#1: 7/13/12 * EDD: 3/19/13 * MC: 8/2/12  *  ♥CARTER♥ Forever In Our s
    Oct'13: DX unexplained IF * BFP#2: 11/27/13 * EDD: 8/6/14

  • Big hugs to you. I'm so sorry. People who haven't dealt with loss have no clue.


    Missed MC 11/17/10 Our little miracle born 1/27/12 Natural MC 7/19/12 Missed MC 1/22/13 Our family is complete DD 12/27/13
    Abnormal ANA, PAI-1 4G/4G homozygous

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  • I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. ((HUGS))

    3 Losses; 2 twin pregnancies 21 weeks & 7 weeks, CP.
    2 D&Cs, 2 SISs. 1 MRI, 1 Hysteroscopy.
    DX: Incompetent Cervix, Uterine Septum, Asherman Syndrome & Hetero MTHFR.

    What I've felt, What I've known, Never shined through in what I've shown. Never be. Never see. Won't see what might have been - Metallica



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  • Sending you so, so many of the hugest, squishiest hugs.  I am going through all of the same feelings you are describing.  It sucks so much, and I wish I could change it for you, sammer.

    I hope that whatever is going on with your DH clea

    PAIF/SAIF, PGAL/PAL welcome.
    TTC since March 2010 ~ Dx Unexplained IF September 2011
    2011: IUI + Clomid = CP#1
    2012: 3 more IUIs + Clomid = 3 more CPs. One on-our-own pg, also CP
    2013: BTB IUI + Lupron/Follistim/Prometrium/PIO = CP #6
    IF testing, RPL testing, Autoimmune testing = all normal
    So lost.
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    image image
  • (((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))) Sammer!

    I am so so sorry honey.  I know there is nothing I, or anyone, can say that can really make you feel better right now.  So I'm just sending so many hugs and T&Ps your way. <3

    9.08.12 BFP! | 11.01.12 MMC Discovered at 12 weeks| 11.06.12 D&C 
    11.25.13 BFP#2| 4.07.14 TEAM PINK!!!|EDD 8.8.14 Please be our Rainbow Charlotte Grace <3
    PgAL/PAL always welcome
  • (((HUGS)))
    BFP#1 8/3/12~EDD 4/1/13~Natural M/C 9/1/12-9w6d 
    BFP#2 5/30/13~EDD 2/3/14~Confirmed CP 5/31/13
    7/12/13 Hysteroscopy & Lap Lysis of Adhesions
    1st Cycle on Clomid Aug '13: BFP#3 8/24/13~EDD 5/3/14
    Hoping Third Time's a Charm!!- IT'S A GIRL!!!! 

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    Lilypie - (nUwf)

    All AL-ers welcome in my posts! <3
  • I'm so sorry for your losses. I know it's hard. People don't know how to respond to grief and loss. They are usually nervous about what to say and think not saying anything is better. We know otherwise but try and not take it personally. I know that's har


    image    image 

    May 15 Siggy Challenge: Favorite Christmas Movie

    BFP 8/2/12 EDD 4/9/13 Addie was delivered 1/4/13 at 26 weeks due to Eclampsia  

    BFP 9/15/14 EDD 5/28/15 Please be our R A I N B O W take home baby
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    ~All AL always welcome~



  • Huge huge HUGS, sweetie! It is so unfair. I'm so sorry. I wish you lived near me, I would give your so called friends a severe talking to!

    As for DH, I would get him checked out for an ear infection, it wouldnt be uncommon to have that with
    image image image    
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    3 Angel Babies - EDD 09-08-11, EDD 01-10-12, EDD 06-09-12
    Diagnosed with a chromosomal translocation. (10 & 17)--- Onto IVF!
    IVF #1, 2,and 3 - All Failures

    IVF #4 - March 2013 - BFP! --- EDD 12-19-13
    Our Rainbow arrived 12/23/2013
    All AL ladies welcome

  • Big, big hugs to you sammer. I wish I could take some of this heartache away from you.
    PCOS & ute crew member
    BFP #1: 10/24/2012  EDD 7/3/13, missed m/c @ 9 weeks, D&E 
    DX: Septate Uterus. Septum resection 6/4/13
    BFP #2: 12/20/2013  EDD 9/1/14, missed m/c @ 7weeks, D&E
    BFP #3: 5/26/2014 EDD 2/7/15, missed m/c @ 9 weeks, D&E- DX Trisomy22
    RPL, Karyotyping, and SHG: All Normal
    BFP #4: 9/6/14 EDD 5/16/15 Praying for our RAINBOW!
    Baby GIRL on the way!!
    **All AL Welcome**

  • I'm sorry love, that is tough. Other than my mother & sister's, I have one friend who is brave enough to just simply ask me how I'm doing. Everyone else totally avoids the topic. I understand if they do not know what to say, but even so much as a t



    Me:41/ lean PCOS, 2 clotting disorders, IC/ DH:41~ TTC since 1/11
    Clomid 50mg,100mg,150mg | Injectables + IUI#1 & IUI#2= BFN
    IVF#1~ 8/2012~ 13 frosties~ BFP! OHSS
    12/4/12 Luke & Kyle born @ 18 weeks
    SHG+ Hysteroscopy+ FET= BFP | Cerclage+ Lovenox+ 5m Bed Rest
    ~Our wee guy is here! 11/27/13~

    PAL December Siggy Challenge~ Meanwhile in Canada..


  • Sorry you are dealing with all of this. Big (((hugs))) coming your way. 

    TTC since August 2011
    BFP#1 3/16/12 EDD 11/21/12 Delivered 6/1/12 at 15 weeks 2 days
    "If there ever comes a day when we can't be together... Keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever." ~ Winnie the Pooh

    BFP#2 4/14/13 EDD 12/24/13 Please be our rainbow after the storm!
    Beta#1 @ 15dpo 274, P4 16.9 Beta#2 @ 18dpo 940!! Doubling time of 40 hours!! u/s @ 6w2d showed a beautiful HB of 120! u/s @ 10w1d HB 174!! Grow, LO Grow!! Found out 7/22 we are TEAM BLUE!!
    Zaiden Harper was born 12/22/13 at 1:46 am. 9lbs 8oz and 22in
    ~*~AL Always Welcome~*~
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  • What a horrible time! I'm sorry! I've been dealing w/ some crap lately too. It just isn't fair. TP's for you!
    DH, Jared 7/28/01; DD, Isabella Grace 11/28/06; said good-bye to baby 2 5/09 (11.5 weeks); said good-bye to Dakota Blu 11/09 (11.5 weeks); DS, Benjamin Cruz 12/6/10; said good-bye to babies 5 and 6 09/12 (8 weeks); baby "K" our foster son 11/28/12 came to us 1/7/14
  • I'm sorry you have to deal with all of this.


    TTC Since 8/2011
    BFP #1 5/13/12 * EDD 1/24/13 * MC at 7 wks 4 days on 6/11/12
    BFP #2 5/13/13 * Current EDD 1/23/14

    Baby N born 2/8/14

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    Lilypie - (HD7B)



  • image sammer818:

    Newborn mentioned

    Anyone got any hugs or good thoughts for me? My SIL is having her baby today...a schedul

    "Once you are real, you can't become unreal again.  It lasts for always." ~ The Velveteen Rabbit
    *8.3.13*  mc @ 6-7 weeks {natural mc at 12 weeks}
    *3.14.14*  mc @ 5-6 weeks DnC {blood clotting disorder discovered}
    *8.7.14* mc @ 6 weeks DnC {uterine septum removed March '14)
    *3.17.15* mc @ 7 weeks DnC {genetic testing & meeting with a new RE in Jan '15}

  • I'm hurting for you. I can't imagine what it must feel like. Sending big hugs to you and your sweet husband. Praying that you find strength to get through today.

    TTC since 2.12 
    BFP 11.14.12 (MC 12.2.12) EDD 7.24.13 
    Dx: Unexplained IF 12.13, Endometriosis 1.14
    IUI#1+Clomid 1.3.14 Missed Ectopic identified 1.28.14 (EDD 9.26.14) Lap. Surgery
    IUI#2.0+Letrozole Cancelled 1.28.14. IUI#2.1+Letrozole Cancelled 4.22.14
    IVF 6 eggs Retrieved 5 Fertilized 7.22.14 1 Blastocyst Transfer 7.27.14 
    BFP 8.5.14 Due 4.15 Feeling hopeful.
      All Welcome

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