I am still exclusively BF'ing, but DS has mostly dropped night feedings. Well, today I was having some signs of ovulation, so I thought it might be possible that I actually am since I'm not BF'ing as frequently anymore. So I used an OPK that I had leftover from when we were trying to get pregnant and it's positive. Ugh. So I guess I get to look forward to my period in a couple weeks. Of course, I don't think anyone actually likes getting their period, but it's stressing me out really bad right now for several reasons:
* The biggest reason is because I had a ton of bleeding during my pregnancy. It was very traumatic, and I dreaded going to the bathroom and seeing blood. I actually went to the bathroom with the lights out a lot, so I didn't have to see. So the thought of seeing blood again when going to the bathroom (even if for a normal/okay reason) is stressing me out and bringing back a lot of anxiety / bad memories.
* The thought of being able to be pregnant again stresses me out...even though it's not going to happen because DH had a vasectomy after we decided we are done given what we went through with DS.
Thanks for listening, ladies. Just wanted to share with those who can better understand my stress.
ETA: Letting my little guy nap on my chest right now is helping me feel better.