TTC After a Loss

I hate my body (pg, c/p ment)

For mobile users, bfp and chemical pregnancy mentioned.

 

My body sucks.  I caved on Friday and tested, and to my surprise had a very very faint second line.  I tested again Saturday, and Sunday and it was there still, and still just as faint.  Monday morning it was barely visible.  I called my OB first thing Monday and he had me go in for betas anyway, but at that point between the temp drop and the even fainter line I knew what was happening...again.

I am still waiting on a call, but af has started as of today.  I am so sad, and mad at my body for not just doing what it is supposed to do.  This was my last chance for a 2013 baby, and my last chance to deliver a baby before I turned 35.

 

_____________________________
TTC #3 since Aug 2009
2 ds 2004 and 2009
8 angels, including one heteroectopic pregnancy
lost right tube

clotting/RPL panel results normal, genetic testing results normal
CD2 BW results FSH 5 LH 7 dx: PCOS Dec 2013

1500mg metformin started Dec 2013        
TTCAL siggy challenge: Unfortunate Sticker Placement
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Re: I hate my body (pg, c/p ment)

  • Oh mlal.  I'm so, so sorry sweetie!  This sucks big time.  My heart goes out to you as you go through this.

    Lots of love and HUGS to you. 

     

     

     

    BFP: 9/3/98, DS born 5/7/99

    Married DH: 12/10/11
    TTC: 12/2011

    3 Angel babies in 2012
    1 Angel baby in 2014
    ~~~~Missing my Angels every day~~~~

    Failed IF treatments in 2013

    Break cycle:
    BFP: 8/25/13, DD born 5/2/14

    September 2014:  TTC Rainbow baby #2

     

     

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  • ((HUGS)) I'm so sorry.
    Suzy & Brian November 3, 2007 "...this one time, at band camp..." ;-)
    TTC #1 since 9/2012
    BFP #1 2/16/13, EDD 10/13/13, CP 2/21/13
    BFP #2 6/2/13
    Baby J-Bug 2/8/14 My Wedding Bio from back in the day
  • Oh Mlal I am so so sorry. Huge hugs my love. So so unfair.

    -----------------------------------------------------------
    3 losses, 2 twin pregnancies: 21 weeks, 7 weeks & CP.
    Diagnosis: Uterine Septum, Asherman's Syndrome, Incompetent Cervix, Hetero MTHFRWhat I've felt, What I've known, Never shined through in what I've shown. Never be. Never see.Won't see what might have been
     
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  • Dammit. Oh mlal.... I'm so, so sorry. I am so mad for you. I am so heartbroken for you. This just sucks so, so much I don't even have any words that could come close to how sorry I am this has happened.

    Please just know I am sending you so,

    dream 1 CAME TRUE 2.13.2010


     <dream 2> 12.2011


     2.10.12 : 4 weeks


    6.17.12 : 10 weeks


    10.10.12 : 4 weeks, 6 days


    12.13.12 : 9 weeks, 1 day


    4.6.13 : 4 weeks, 4 days


    10.27.13 : 5 weeks, 6 days


    4.2.14 (IVF #1) : 4 weeks, 1 day


    6.19.14 : IVF #2 Negative


     </dream 2>


     resolve.org


    AMA, Diminished Ovarian Reserve, heterozygous MTHFR


    "all it was was a fairytale and devotion to a dream"

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  • Lots of ((((hugs)))). I am so sorry.

    TTCAL October Siggy Challenge: Unfortunate Sticker Placement
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    Zachary Donald born 9/22/2012 at 20 weeks. You will forever be in our heart.
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    A miracle is what seems impossible but happens anyways
    BFP#1 06/08/2012 EDD 02/07/2013, born 09/22/2012 PTL due to placental abruption
    BFP#2 12/21/2012 EDD 08/27/2013, CP@4w6d
    BFP#3 01/21/2013 EDD 10/02/2013, M/C 02/26/2013

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  • I am so sorry sweets!! ((((huge hugs))))
    (USE TO BE, WISH2BEMOMMY). 1st BFP ever Aug. 16, 2010.... 1st OB appt. Sept. 8, 2010, u/s showed poss. blighted ovum.... b/w 9/8/10 22,698 b/w 9/10/10 14,521.... mmc confirmed, started naturally m/c 9/15/10, d & c 9/16/10 I love you my precious monkey!! 2nd BFP March 2011.... c/p, miss you lil one!! 3rd BFP Nov. 20, 2011, subcornial hemorrhage detected 11/24/11 heartbeat found.... LO's heartbeat lost 11/25/11.... d & c 11/26/11..... I love and miss you so much baby!!!! C/P 4/26/12.... gone before I knew you.... "An angel in the book of life wrote down my baby's birth. Then whispered as she closed the book "too beautiful for earth"

    Our TTCAL Blog--Newbies and Lurkers Please Read!

    ♥♡♥ PAL/PGAL welcome♥♡♥
  • Oh hun, big huge hugs. I've been wondering what was up with your chart, I'm heartbroken for you that this is the answer.

    As an AMA'er, and someone who was 34 her first goround in TTCAL, I get the age concerns as well.

    Come o

    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11

    BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14

     

    Lilypie - (2llN)

    Lilypie - (2L9u)

     

      My Recipe Blog
    ~All AL'ers welcome~

  • I am so so sorry, hun... it sucks (((HUGS)))
    image image image    
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    3 Angel Babies - EDD 09-08-11, EDD 01-10-12, EDD 06-09-12
    Diagnosed with a chromosomal translocation. (10 & 17)--- Onto IVF!
    IVF #1, 2,and 3 - All Failures

    IVF #4 - March 2013 - BFP! --- EDD 12-19-13
    Our Rainbow arrived 12/23/2013
    imageimage
    All AL ladies welcome

  • I love you so much, and I'm so sorry about all of this.  (((mlal)))
  • I am so sorry mlal. Hugs


    BFP #1 ended in MMC. Discovered Oct 2005 @10w5d, baby stopped growing around 6w. D&C.
    BFP#2 Nov 2005. Baby's heart stopped @ 8w3d. D&C Jan 2006. Trisomy 18
    BFP#3 Nov 2006. My "miracle baby" DD born 7/25/07
    BFP #4 11/6/12. EDD 7/16/13~my birthday! No sac found @ 5w1d, betas not increasing. Natural m/c started 11/20/12.

    BFP#5 11/9/13.  EDD 7/21/14  Our beautiful rainbow born on his due date!!

  • *HUGE HUGS* I'm so sorry sweetie

    TTC since April 2010
    BFP #1 – March 2011, missed m/c April 2011
    BFP #2 – October 2011, m/c November 2011
    Surprise BFP #3 – December 2011, diagnosed as cornual, terminated January 2012
    BFP #4 – June 2012, m/c July 2012
    Diagnosed with bicornuate ute and MTHR gene mutation
    BFP #5 – October 2012, missed m/c November 2012
    BFP #6 – January 2013, m/c March 2013
    No longer TTC. Diagnosis: Hostile ute. Heartbroken and bitter. Pursuing surrogacy.
    June 2013 - Carrier found! Could this really happen?!
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    ~All AL always welcome~

  • HUGE HUGE HUGE (((HUGS)))!!!!!
    BFP #1 October 2008 | m/c Thanksgiving weekend | November 2008 | 7 weeks 2 days

    BFP #2 February 2009 | m/c March 2009 | 4 weeks 3 days
    Testing on mom and dad for possible reasons all came back normal.
    BFP #3 8/4/2009 | DD born 3/28/10 @ 38 weeks
    BFP #4 5/13/11 | m/c 6/15/11 | 8 weeks 6 days
    BFP #5 2/13/13 | CP 2/19/13 | 4 weeks 
    BFP #6 3/21/14 | Heard the HB on 4/16 | m/c 4/21/14 | 9 weeks
    Testing results all returned normal and baby was a GIRL.
    More testing on mom and dad for other issues all returned normal results.

    "Dear Lord, I would have loved to have held my babies on my lap & tell them about you, but since I didn't get the chance, would you please hold them on your lap & tell them about me?"
    All are welcome!
  • Oh mlal! I am so sorry!!!!! Big hugs!

    imageimageimage
    TTC since 2.12 
    BFP 11.14.12 (MC 12.2.12) EDD 7.24.13 
    Dx: Unexplained IF 12.13, Endometriosis 1.14
    IUI#1+Clomid 1.3.14 Missed Ectopic identified 1.28.14 (EDD 9.26.14) Lap. Surgery
    IUI#2.0+Letrozole Cancelled 1.28.14. IUI#2.1+Letrozole Cancelled 4.22.14
    IVF 6 eggs Retrieved 5 Fertilized 7.22.14 1 Blastocyst Transfer 7.27.14 
    BFP 8.5.14 Due 4.15 Feeling hopeful.
      All Welcome

  • so sorry.  ((HUGS))

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)

    11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13

    All Alers Welcome

  • ((hugs)) I am so sorry :( I hope that you are able to heal physically and emotionally quickly!!

    A little bit about me...

    Married my awesome guy on 12/27/08

    DD Lucy Rae born on 11/16/2010

    Loss #1: November 29, 2012 at 8w1d

    Loss #2: June 9, 2013 at 13w (Amelia Grace)

    BFP #4: We are having a BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Peter Matthew was born on July 16, 2014!!! Welcome to our family!

     

     "If anyone asks me how many children I have, the answer is 4. Just two of them live in Heaven."

    *All are welcome in my posts*

     

     

     
     
  • Ugh, I am so sorry. That sucks :(
    imageimage
    BFP with #1 (twins!) 11/18/2011 - missed m/c at 8weeks3days; d&c 1/19/2012; myomectomy to remove 18cm+,10cm & 5cm fibroids 4/2012; TTC again 7/2012; BFP #2 (twins) 11/13/2012; missed m/c at 7weeks;
    BFP #3: baby girl born 3/5/2014

    Balaustine: an anthology about wanting family
  • Mlal, I'm so sorry! My heart breaks for you! Big, big ((hugs)) to you!
    TTC Our Rainbow Since May 2011

    BFP#1 9/9/12 -- EDD 5/14/13 -- MMC 10/10/12 Miso 10/19/12

    BFP #2 9/17/13 -- EDD 5/25/14-- CP confirmed 9/21/13
     BFP #3
    2/1/14 -- EDD 10/5/14 -- NMC 2/10/14

    Dx: Hetero MTHFR & low Progesterone

    My Chart

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    ~*~All AL Welcome~*~


  • Oh, mlal, I am so incredibly sorry.  The biggest, hugest, squishiest (((hugs))) to you. <3
    Me: 36 yo, TTC #1 since Feb. 2012
    BFP #1, 3/12, EDD 11/9/12, MMC 3/27/12, D&C 4/10/12

    BFP #2: 11/16/12, EDD 7/25/13, MMC 12/5/12, D&C 12/6/12, Complete molar pregnancy confirmed 2/9/13, benched for 6 months until  August 2013

    IUI #1, 8/16/13 Femara + Menopur, 3 mature follicles, BFN
    IUI #2 (back-to-back, 9/12/13 and 9/13/13) Femara + Menopur, four mature follicles, BFFN
    IUI #3, 10/8/13 Femara + Menopur, six mature follicles, BFN

    BFP #3, 12/9/2013, while on treatment break, EDD: 8/22/2014  Please stick and grow, LO!

    Additional Dx: hypothyroidism, TgAb positive & anti-TPO positive, POR/DOR (2/2013), and suspected endometriosis

    ******All AL always welcome******
  • That sucks so so much.  I am so sorry to hear this :(
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  • I'm so sorry! Sorry that you have to go thru that sending thoughts and prayers your way!
    BFP #1 7/23/12: EDD 4/1/13.  MMC discovered on 9/4/12 @ 10w1d
    BFP# 2 3/9/13:  EDD 11/12/13 m/c 3/15/13 @ 5w3d
    RPL testing shows one copy of MTHFR gene mutation. 
     BFP#3 12/24/13: EDD 9/5/14 Beta #1 13 DPO 168! Beta #2 16 DPO 895!
     First US 1/9/14 @ 5w6d Strong HB!
    2nd US 1/23/14 @ 7w6d baby is still doing great! 3rd US 1/31/14  9w0d: Beautiful wiggly baby! Keep growing baby!
    3/17/14 US @ 15w3d:Its a BOY!

     

    My rainbow baby Isaac has arrived! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Oh, mlal. I am so so sorry. It's not fair. hugs
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    BFP #1   8.29.12   EDD 5.8.13   MC 10.9.12   GusGus
    BFP #2   7.12.13   EDD 3.24.14   MC 7.26.13   Muggle
    RE Consult 8.22.13 for RPL testing
    Diagnosed with Factor V Leiden and MTHFR 
    IUI #1 10.11.13 w/gonal-f and ovidrel   BFP #3 & CP 10.25.13   Dot
    IUI #2 12.9.13 w/gonal-f and ovidrel   BFP #4 12.18.13   EDD 9.1.14
    Our rainbow, Eleanor Margaret born 8.27.14
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    imageimageimage  imageimage
    formerly lindsayhilleary
  • (((hugs))) I am so sorry. Bodies really really suck sometimes! 
    ____________________________________________________________________________

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    My Rainbow Clayton
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    "Go in peace! I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil." -Gandalf
    m/c #1 01/10/12
    BFP #2 01/18/13. EDD 09/10/13. Missed m/c 02/18/13. 
    BFP #3 5/1/13 DS born 1/13/14
    All AL Ladies always welcome on my posts!
     
  • I am so incredibly sorry, mlal! This sucks. Crying


    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers 

    BFP #1 12/7/2011 EDD 8/21/2012 Delivered at 15 weeks
    "I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be." 
    BFP#2 10/19/2012 EDD 6/30/2013 Delivered safely two days early

    Everyone is welcome in my posts.

  • Ugh I'm so so sorry mlal. Big hugs to you

    __________________________________________________________________________________________

    Missed MC 11/17/10 Our little miracle born 1/27/12 Natural MC 7/19/12 Missed MC 1/22/13 Our family is complete DD 12/27/13
    Abnormal ANA, PAI-1 4G/4G homozygous

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  • Oh Mlal, I am  so sorry love. Lots of (((hugs))) coming your way. 


    TTC since August 2011
    BFP#1 3/16/12 EDD 11/21/12 Delivered 6/1/12 at 15 weeks 2 days
    "If there ever comes a day when we can't be together... Keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever." ~ Winnie the Pooh

    BFP#2 4/14/13 EDD 12/24/13 Please be our rainbow after the storm!
    Beta#1 @ 15dpo 274, P4 16.9 Beta#2 @ 18dpo 940!! Doubling time of 40 hours!! u/s @ 6w2d showed a beautiful HB of 120! u/s @ 10w1d HB 174!! Grow, LO Grow!! Found out 7/22 we are TEAM BLUE!!
    Zaiden Harper was born 12/22/13 at 1:46 am. 9lbs 8oz and 22in
    ~*~AL Always Welcome~*~
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  • Ohhh I am so sorry to hear this. That just sucks!! :(
    Jan 2014 August Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails

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    BFP #4 4/30/13, baby girl born med-free Jan. 2014

    BFP #3 9/24/12, Missed m/c at 9w1d (baby measured 8w5d)

    BFP #2 9/23/10, healthy baby girl born med-free June 2011

    BFP #1 5/21/10, Missed m/c at 10w4d (baby measured 8wks), D&C 6/29/10
     
    "Life is like a camera, just focus on what's important and capture the good times, develop from the negatives and if things don't work out, just take another shot."

  • I'm so sorry ((HUGS))
    BFP #1 (DS, 10/98), BFP #2 (DD, 10/09)
    BFP #3 -mm/c @ 7wks, discovered at 9wks, D&C 9/28
    BFP #4 5/29 EDD 2/9 - please be our rainbow
    image image
    Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • (Hugs) I'm so sorry.
    image
    My Blog | My Chart | TTCAL Shenanigans
    ♥BFP #1 "Spawn"- 2/23/11 | EDD: 11/1/11 | natural m/c 3/20/11 @7w5d
    ♥BFP #2 "Offspring"- 11/10/12 | EDD: 7/25/13 | incomplete m/c 12/14/12 @8w1d | D&C 12/21/12♥
    Current Status: CFNBC
    PgAL/PAL Always Welcome

  • km_mdkm_md
    5000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Fifth Anniversary
    member
    Oh mlal, so much love and (((hugs))) to you. I am so sorry that this is happening to you again. If you need anything, I am here for you. ((hugs))
    Married my own Prince at Walt Disney World Resort on September 9th, 2010 
    BFP#1 - 25/Aug/12 - EDD 2/May/13 - M/C - 08/Sept/12 - 6w2d - Never in my arms, forever in my heart <3
    BFP#2 - 13/May/13 - EDD 25/Jan/14 - Evelyn born January 27th 2014 

    My Blog

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    <3 All AL Always Welcome <3
    Congratulations to all of my TTCAL Treehouse friends on their BFPs and Rainbow Babies!!
  • Sorry mlal. I know it sucks to get your hopes up and then have them dashed right away. When I went through my c/p, the RE said it was most likely because of chromosomal issues, not something by body did wrong.

    *hugs*

    image
    BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12  Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d on 5/11/12. You changed our lives little guy.
    BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
    BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!

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    October PAL siggy challenge: Funny Pet Costumes
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