This weekend was 1 year ago that we brought DS home. The weather was also similar. As DH & I were out to dinner, he made a comment about how he couldn't believe it had been 1 year already. All I could think about was how I felt when DS came home & the weeks & months after. Everything seemed so similar, and I got that awful feeling in my gut. I couldn't get the resentment towards DS at the time out of my head, the constant anxious feeling in my stomach, the no appetite, and the constant crying and panic I had. I hate that even a year later, it still haunts me. I hate that I've always wanted 3-4 kids, and now I'm not sure I want another because I'm terrified of it coming back. I remind myself that I got past it once, I can do it again. But oh, those days were miserable. I lost so much precious time w/ DS when he was just teeny tiny.
On a happy note! DS turned 1 last week and he's the coolest little dude I know. Makes me smile and/or giggle 700,000 times a day.