October 2012 Moms

Feel like I am always doing something wrong... is your baby on a "schedule"?

I feel like someone always has a comment to say about my LO and if he is on a schedule yet, or sleeping through the night, etc. And, when I reply no, then I get "oh that's not good" "have you started food yet" "do you ever let him cry"

SO, am I doing something wrong?? He still eats about every 3 hours during the day. Some days longer, some days shorter. Is that not normal? I had someone in my family tell me this weekend they couldn't believe he was still eating every 3 hours. Like it was too often. Then I always get "is he sleeping through the night"? And, I stated no, he is usually up for at least one feeding, some times two, and will fuss at times in between. I got the weird look and stare that it was not good he was still doing this, and that I must be doing something wrong. I am sorry but I was under the impression that if he is literally draining a bottle in the middle of the night then he still needs that feed. I also think it's normal for a 4 month/almost 5 month old to still wake up sometimes right? (I mean I know there are those of you on here that were blessed with a STTN baby, but I do think there are others in the same boat). 

Back to the "is he on a schedule" comment. He sort of is, but not a rigid one.. he wakes up about the same time everyday. We play a little, change, eat, he then will eat about every 3 ish hours and nap approx. every 2-3 ish hours (very short naps usually though), and then he knows when bed time is and will wake up at least once to feed, again sometimes fussing throughout the night. I think that's a good enough schedule for his age.  

 Anyway, I am curious to know what some of your "schedules" are like, and if I am totally screwing up my child :)  Of course in a perfect world he would sleep through the night, eat on a rigid schedule, nap wonderfully, and never fuss, but that's not reality in my opinion! 

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Re: Feel like I am always doing something wrong... is your baby on a "schedule"?

  • This is a time of big change for babies between 4 - 6 months I find they go from newborns to infants.  Feedings spread out, sleeping gets better, a schedule can start to form, they stay awake longer.  I think what you describe is perfectly normal - my baby sleep bible says at 4/5 months waiting anywhere from 2-4 hours is normal and waking 1-2 times a night is normal.  By 6 months ideal the baby would be working towards 4 hours between feedings and 1 waking a night and getting on schedule.  I'm just starting to gentle guiding ds towards this ideal.  It doesn't mean that anything is wrong with what you describe.  It seems like your LO is in normal ranges.  People just want to ask questions and offer advice - either listen polite and ignore or give them the answers they want to hear.

    My schedule is this - however he has been sleeping horrible the last few nights.

    7am - 8am wake up - nurse when he wakes

    9 - 9:30am - down for first nap (1.5 - 2 hours after he wakes up)  nap last 1 - 2 hours nurse when he wakes

    12:30 - 2pm - down for 2nd nap (2 - 3 hours after he woke up) nap for 1.5 - 2.5 hours nurse when he wakes

    4:30ish - a 3rd nap if he slept less then 4 hours total nurse when he wakes

    7pm - 8pm - nurse and then to bed

    Ideally 1 night feeding but depends on the night 

     

     


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  • my lo still eats every 3 hrs sometimes sooner. really the only schedule she is on is at bed time thats usually the same time every night and usually sleeps all night. but during the day shes not really on a scedule i feed her when shes hungry and she naps when shes tired. dont let anybody tell youor make you feel like you are doing something wrong its your baby you do what you feel is right.everbody thinks your suppose to do exactly what all the parenting books say to do and if you dont then your doing it wrong.
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  • Sounds just like my DD's "schedule". She gets up around the same time everyday, eats, hangs out for a bit, and then takes a short nap. I have noticed that she's started taking a long nap at around 2. Other than that its a few cat naps. She gets up once, sometimes twice to eat at night. I thought that was pretty good!! But a lot of people ask if she's sttn yet and when I say no, they look at me as though I'm a poor lost soul! Everyone has to put their 2 cents in. "Oh it's because she's on breastmilk, not formula" she gets formula at night because she's got bad reflux and it helps with that, but not with sleeping. Then I get "oh you need to start solids and then she'll start sleeping through the night." Yeah... She's on solids, no luck yet. For the past 3 months I've been hearing, she must be teething. Still no teeth! Sorry for the rant!

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  • I tell people I know our parenting philosophy is different than yours but it works well for us.
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  • Your his mom and you know best what works for you and LO. To me it sounds like you guys are doing just fine. 

    What worked to get us on a schedule was establishing a bedtime and sticking to it. When we established bedtime she set her naps on her own schedule and is fairly predictable, but it isn't rigid. The only thing rigid is bedtime. My LO was STTN, but now wakes up around 2 AM. I offer food as the last resort. I first wait to see if she'll self soothe, which occasionally she will. If it escalates into cries, I go in and help her soothe. If that fails, I offer food, which always puts her back down to sleep. 

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  • um my schedule sounds a lot like yours...

    he goes to daycare during the week anyway so it'd be hard for me to keep it so rigid.

    Also, I don't like to eat on the dot of every time, why would he? 



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  • I think what you are describing is normal. My two are 5 months old. During the day they eat every 3 hours. Like you said there are days they go longer and days when they don't. We have a very loose schedule.

    As far as STTN only my daughter does. My son is up once during the
    night.

    People like to give advice. Just how it is unfortunately. I usually just say ok or thanks and carry on with what I was doing.

    Also don't feel like you're doing anything wrong. You're not. As long as LO is happy and healthy, you're doing a GREAT job.
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  • I'm sure you are fantastic mother! And you've heard that every babe is different and while I only have two they are def very different!  My DS didn't STTN until he was 3.5!! We were not big fans of schedules and just followed his cues which showed us he had set his own schedule at some point.  We have no schedule with DD but she's just now starting to do naps at a certain time, bedtime at a certain time, ect.  There's no hurry for food...Everyone has an opinion! And they don't seem to be positive for some reason.  I would just keep doing what you feel comfortable with and tell the others to F off. 
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  • image stephcarter:
    Sounds just like my DD's "schedule". She gets up around the same time everyday, eats, hangs out for a bit, and then takes a short nap. I have noticed that she's started taking a long nap at around 2. Other than that its a few cat naps. She gets up once, sometimes twice to eat at night. I thought that was pretty good!! But a lot of people ask if she's sttn yet and when I say no, they look at me as though I'm a poor lost soul! Everyone has to put their 2 cents in. "Oh it's because she's on breastmilk, not formula" she gets formula at night because she's got bad reflux and it helps with that, but not with sleeping. Then I get "oh you need to start solids and then she'll start sleeping through the night." Yeah... She's on solids, no luck yet. For the past 3 months I've been hearing, she must be teething. Still no teeth! Sorry for the rant! Every baby is different. That's all there is to it!

     

    Oh yes I get the comments about food too! Yes, we started food per pedi and still no luck sleeping longer. People look at me like I have a 3rd eye when I say I have noticed no difference.

     

    Thanks for the comments everyone. I usually just brush stuff off, but this was a long weekend of never ending comments from family members that made me doubt myself at times. I think what we have is a pretty normal child! 

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  • image suzienickles36:

    image stephcarter:
    Sounds just like my DD's "schedule". She gets up around the same time everyday, eats, hangs out for a bit, and then takes a short nap. I have noticed that she's started taking a long nap at around 2. Other than that its a few cat naps. She gets up once, sometimes twice to eat at night. I thought that was pretty good!! But a lot of people ask if she's sttn yet and when I say no, they look at me as though I'm a poor lost soul! Everyone has to put their 2 cents in. "Oh it's because she's on breastmilk, not formula" she gets formula at night because she's got bad reflux and it helps with that, but not with sleeping. Then I get "oh you need to start solids and then she'll start sleeping through the night." Yeah... She's on solids, no luck yet. For the past 3 months I've been hearing, she must be teething. Still no teeth! Sorry for the rant! Every baby is different. That's all there is to it!

    Oh yes I get the comments about food too! Yes, we started food per pedi and still no luck sleeping longer. People look at me like I have a 3rd eye when I say I have noticed no difference.

    Thanks for the comments everyone. I usually just brush stuff off, but this was a long weekend of never ending comments from family members that made me doubt myself at times. I think what we have is a pretty normal child! 

    Your schedule sounds just lke mine. I dont look at the clock, but I know he eats roughly every 2 to 3 hours, takes three naps a day, goes to bed at 7ish wakes up 2 to 3 times a night, and is up for the day 7ish. I could probably narrow down more specific clock times, but why? We need him to be a little flexible so he can adjust to the daily changes in our own routine. You are doing great. Keep up the good work.
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  • Well, I guess I'm doing something wrong too, because what you're describing is exactly what DS is doing.

    He nurses, on average, every 3 hours during the day (I EBF on demand), and wakes up 2x a night.   

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  • image pb_bride:
    Well, I guess I'm doing something wrong too, because what you're describing is exactly what DS is doing.He nurses, on average, every 3 hours during the day I EBF on demand, and wakes up 2x a night. nbsp;nbsp;


    We can't allllll be horrible moms right?! =]

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  • I totally know what you are going thru. I feel like I'm in the same boat. No worries. All our LO are doing just what they should be doing!
  • My LO is on a flexible, though night shift oriented schedule... It's a little easier for me to start with bedtime...

    between 2-4am Nurse to sleep

    between 8:30-9:30am sometimes wakes to eat, but usually not

    between 12:30-2pm up for the day, nurse

    from there she eats every 2.5-4 hours and naps for maybe an hour or two at a time in between feedings... total of 5-7 feedings and 3-5 naps a day

     

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