February 2013 Moms

Just about to give up

So I have never had an easy go with nursing and this time is no exception. My DS will be 2 weeks tomorrow and he has lost about a pound since he was born - he was 9lb7 oz when he was born. I am nursing every 2 hours for about 30 minutes. 

I have seen 3 lactation consultants and I am losing my mind.  Last plan was to nurse 20-25 minutes each side, then pump, feed and supplement if he is still rooting. I have been supplementing and pumping and cant get more than 1 oz total. I just nursed him then he took 4 oz of formula.  I have 2 other kids so it just isnt working.

 Sorry I need to vent.I feel like I am failing. 

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Re: Just about to give up

  • I'm sorry you're going through this :( I think breastfeeding is a wonderful thing, and that mothers should be encouraged to do it. However, I don't think it's right to make women feel guilty for either not being able to or not choosing to breastfeed. Breast milk is best, but the truth is, formula is fine too. I totally understand your feelings, because I felt like a failure too when I just about gave up last weekend (for different reasons). But if it isn't working, it isn't working. There's no sense in beating yourself up over it.
    PCOS with long, irregular cycles
    First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013 :)
    BFP #2 on 1/3/14, EDD 9/13/14- Team Blue! 

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  • There is nothing wrong with FFing at all. The part of being a good mommy is doing what is best for your baby. And if that means feeding your baby through your own milk production or through formula, then do what needs to be done. 

     I have had tons of days where I felt like giving up, but it was more for selfish reasons. I just was having troubles adjusting to being the sole provider for food and midnight feedings. The only thing that kept me going was something someone had said on the BFing board. Basically it was along the lines is "choose to quit on a good day". Choosing to quit on a bad day just makes it worse for you when it comes to accepting that you have to make the switch. That advice was profound enough for me not quit during some pretty low times. And now I am glad I stuck through it.  

    But if I had to make a switch to FFing, I know I would feel the same way you do, but in the end, it is what is best for your LO and you should be proud that you are putting your baby first.  

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  • your not failing, I had to start supplementing at the hospital bec my baby had lost over 10% of her weight, I pump and supplement with formula, and I am fine with it...its okay and formula these days is great and so much to choose from and different types...pump what you can and supplement the rest, and dont even worry about it, your stress from that could be making it all worse, relax do what you can!
  • Please don't feel guilty. I had to give it up as well, I was EP, and it was torturous. Just make the best decision for your family and try not to worry what others think.
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  • image kleigh926:
    I'm sorry you're going through this :( I think breastfeeding is a wonderful thing, and that mothers should be encouraged to do it. However, I don't think it's right to make women feel guilty for either not being able to or not choosing to breastfeed. Breast milk is best, but the truth is, formula is fine too. I totally understand your feelings, because I felt like a failure too when I just about gave up last weekend (for different reasons). But if it isn't working, it isn't working. There's no sense in beating yourself up over it.

    All of this!!!  I went in 100% committed to EBF and DD has been terrible at removing milk.  She lost 15% of her birth weight over the first two weeks.  We've had 2-3 appts every week (pedi, LCs, ENT for tongue clipping).  Every appt she lost more weight I cried and cried.  We're currently almost exclusively bottle feeding (either pumped milk or formula).  I hate giving her formula, but seeing her weight today (FINALLY over her discharge weight and only 6 oz from birth weight) made it worth it for me.  We also got a referral to someone in speech to see if they can teach her how to use her tongue better.

    All that said, this is my first, so my only job for the next two months is take care of her.  If we have this much trouble when we have #2, I don't know what I'll do!  I'm pumping every 2-3 hours, which would be super hard with a toddler/preschooler. 

    *hugs* Just do what works for you and your family!  That's what's best for your LO. :)

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  • I gave up on BFing a week after she was born when the LC told me I'd never be able to do it properly because I have weird nipples apparently.  I just pump and it's a relief.  I don't feel guilt because she's getting the benefits of the milk BUT DH can feed her.  I've been able to up my supply with Fenugreek three times a day, drinking tons of water, eating throughout the day instead of three meals, and pumping every two hours during the day (take a break at night).  
  • Don't feel guilty! I was also having issues due to my daughter spending time in the NICU and getting used to bottles as well as being tongue tied. With a toddler at home and a husband with a chronic disease who absolutely needs his 8 hours of sleep at night or he gets sick, it just got to be too much to attempt to nurse, then bottle feed her, and then pump. We decided this week that its better for our family if she gets formula. I did manage to pump longer with my son (to six weeks) but that was because he was the only baby at the time and I didn't have anything else to do. My son has been the healthiest kid of all of my friends kids only having like 3 colds in the past 2.5 years so there is nothing wrong with formula feeding! Hang in there and don't beat yourself up too much! You are a good mom for doing what is necessary to make sure your child is fed and healthy!
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  • I totally understand where you are coming from.  I also have been struggling with breastfeeding.  Currently I am just pumping and even that I feel bad about.  Even worse I sometimes want to go to formula just so I don't feel like my entire life is spent pumping.  I feel like I am missing out on actually being with my baby because I am pumping so frequently.  Right now I am continuing to pump but its definitely not easy.

     Luckily, my SO has been supportive and reminds me that we just have to do the best we can, not be perfect.

    as others have said formula isn't bad.  We all know plenty of perfectly happy and healthy formula fed babies 

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