Infertility Veterans

XP: There is no baby

Our ultrasound showed no baby today at 6w2d.

They said there is no hope. They drew another beta, and in some ways I want it to just have dropped so I know and there's closure. They couldn't even see a gestational sack so they are leaning toward ectopic but no one knows for sure. We are beyond sick. Devastated doesn't even come close to describing how we feel.

************ Signature/Ticker Warning ************
Me (32) DH (36) - Finding our way to baby #1
Me: POF/DOR - AMH <0.16, heterozygous c677t MTHFR, insulin resistant and gluten intolerant
DH: Severe MFI

12/2/11 - IUI #1- BFN 
8/1/12 - IVF #1 - Zero response from max stims (600iu intramuscularly)

My ovaries are just for decoration

12/6/12 - Adopted five embryos that had been frozen for over ten years!
2/11/13 - DEmbryo FET #1 Thawed four, sadly two didn't survive. Transferred two beautiful blasts. 
2/16/13 - First BFP of my life @ 6dp5dt! EDD 10/30/13
3/27/13 - After beta and u/s hell, no heartbeat ever detected. D&C at 9w1d.

6/5/13 - Adopted four new embryos that had been frozen for seven years!
 
9/12/13 - DEmbryo FET #2. Thawed and transferred two beautiful blasts
9/17/13 - BFP @ 5dp6dt! EDD 05/31/14
9/29/13 - m/c @ 5w1d. :(

11/19/13 - DEmbryo FET #3. Thawed and transferred one blast from each batch. Wow!
11/23/13 - BFP @ 4dp6dt! EDD 8/7/13
Beta #1 @ 13dp6dt - 522  Beta #2 @ 16dp6dt - 1373 
6w5d ultrasound showed one perfect baby with a beautiful heartbeat of 134bpm!

Snowflake baby is a girl! 
Our beautiful Snowflake girl arrived on July 22, 2014!   
My embryo adoption blog: Wishing on a Snowflake
 
    image      image 

Re: XP: There is no baby

  • Oh, Liz my heart breaks for you! I don't even know what to say. I am so very sorry your hopes were raised only to be dealt this devastating blow. My thoughts and prayers are with you and as always I am here for you if you need me. Huge hugs!!

    ***signature & ticker warning***


    Me: 30 ~ Stage IV Endo ~ AMH .38 ~ AFC 8
    AMH .97 as of 4/2012! ~ AMH 1.63 as of 4/2013!?!

    Him: 29 ~ perfect swimmers

    Laparotomy w/partial oophorectomy 8/2009 to remove cysts/endo.
    Stopped BCP 4/2010.
    Multiple clomid rounds from 11/2010 to 6/2011. ~ All BFN
    IUI w/clomid 7/2011. IUI w/clomid & injectables 11/2011 & 1/2012. ~ All BFN

    IVF:EPP 5/2012 ~ (4R, 3M, 2F w/ICSI). Both embryos txfrd. ~ BFN
    BCP to manage endo from 10/2012 to 12/2012.
    FET w/donor embryos #1: 10/2013 Cancelled
    FET w/donor embryos #1.2: 11/2013
    ~ ET of 2 beautiful blasts on 11/27.
    Beta 1: 503(12dp5dt) Beta 2: 1035(14dpt) Beta 3: 3001(16dpt)
    Beta 4: 8503(19dpt)
    Twins with an EDD of 8/15/14! Team Purple
    G&B born 6/30/14 at 33w3d via emergency c/s.


    If you're wondering about my avatar...it's a fried pickle chip shaped like a fetus!


    image
  • I'm so sorry. My thoughts and heart are with you today. I'm sorry it has been such a long up and down road to get to this.

    I was so crushed when we heard similar news. I felt tricked and sick and devastated. 

    We're here for you. We're thinking of you.

    BzeetyD = 38, Mr. BzeetyD = 44 together 12/02 married 9/08
    TTC #1 since 1/10
    DX: Unexplained/??? MFI issues

    Our lil' lost sparks:
    5w3d loss 7/30/10 - EDD March 2011
    8w loss 4/15/11 - EDD November 2011
    8w3d loss 8/2/12 - EDD March 2013
    4w c/p loss 10/29/12 - EDD July 2013

    Long story: trying on our own + testing testing testing with 6 rounds of Clomid, more testing, injectables + TI, laparoscopy - one tube blocked, 2 IUIs with Follistim...BFNs.
    RPL testing all normal, Karyotyping normal

    Moving on to IVF.

    IVF #1 April 2012 = BFN, IVF #2 June 2012 = BFP. U/S 7/23 = saw heartbeat but measuring behind. Follow up U/S on 7/30 - no heartbeat. D&C 8/2. Trisomy 12. IVF #3 Oct 2012 = Chemical Pregnancy

    Phone consult with CCRM on 12/12/12 - ODWU 1/4/13 - both tubes clear(!) - AFC 24, AMH 3.2, FSH 9.6, LH 5.4, E2 25. DH has high frag rate but improved!
    IVF #4 March 2013 CCRM. EP protocol w/ Menopur, Gonal-F & Dexamethasone. ER 3/29 & IMSI, PICSI. 43R 13M 10F 6blasts bio'd. CCS testing reveals 3 normals!!!
    FET 5/31/13 of 1 4AA blast - thawed and expanded. 4dp5dt BFP.
    Beta 9dp5dt = 181, 11dp5dt = 427. 1st u/s showed a healthy heartbeat! EDD 2/16/14

    After 4 years of hoping and heartbreak, our sweet little bean was born on 2/19/14
    We are so in love with her.

    "I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."

    Everybody is welcome!!!
  • I am so sorry Liz.  I feel sick for you :(
     TTC #1 since 6/09
    Dx: PCOS and MFI
    3 IUIs, 4 IVFs = BFFN
      3rd RE: IVF #5/FET = BFP
    14dp5dt=1170 16dp5dt=2573

    1st u/s=
    TWINS!
    It's a Boy and a Girl!

    Born at 34w3d! 
     

  • My heart breaks to pieces to hear this news.  Take special care of yourselves and know we are here for you when you are ready.  Hugs and love.

    Countless BFN(s)
    Moving to IVF

    IVF1 (ICSI): Long Lupron
    6R. 3F. 3DT. 8Cell 1Grade 2Embies. 1Frostie.
    Beta 1/22: 14 Beta 1/24: 24 Beta 1/26: 28
    Round One Result: Chemical Pregnancy

    Pressing Forward

    IVF2 (ICSI/AH/ACU): Microdose Lupron Flare
    13R. 11F. 5DT. 2TFR'ed. 1Frostie.
    Round Two Result 4/30: Harsh BFN

    FET. 2TFR'ed.
    Round Three Result 6/25: BFN
    Where do we go from here?

    Moving forward with CCRM in 2013
    ODWU revealed blocked tube(s). Lap 2/15.
    Bilateral Tubal Ligation. Stage IV Endo.
    Finally some (tough) answers.


    IVF3 (ICSI/CCS): Antagonist with EPP
    13R. We have 3 CCS Normal Embryos!


    Lupron Depot: May 2013 to August 2013
    Long awaited FET on 9/3. 2TFR'ed.
    BFP on FRER 5dp5dt: IN SHOCK!
    Beta1 9/10: 152.7! Beta2 9/12: 378! Beta3 9/14: 1224! 

    1st ultrasound 10/1: TWO beautiful heartbeats!  Overjoyed!

  • I know exactly how you are feeling and it is gut-wrenching. Nothing anyone will say right now  will really help the pain. I'm still beyond angry weeks later. Cry when you feel it or sit there staring at the walls..I didn't get off the couch for a long time.. I didn't want to see anyone..  There are no rules for something like this. I'm thinking of you and I do know your pain.

    I would think you would be able to see if it was ectopic if your beta is over 1000. Once I stopped drugs, I started to bleed 4 days later..My beta finally started to drop after that. We could never see anything on the u/s and I really didn't want methotrexate since we were guessing.  If possible, I'd ask to wait  a few days to see if bleeding starts as if it is uterine, the beta should start to decrease with bleeding. 

    Hugs.  

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    Induction scheduled for 11/19/14 at 38 wks

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • Oh sweetie Liz my heart is broken for you and I am just sick to read this news. My prayers are with you. I am sorry doesn't begin to describe the heartache I feel. I just read this to DH and he started crying and cursing that this is so unfair. He feels helpless as do I. We wish there was something that could be done to take away your pain. many many hugs.
    TTC 1/2010 DH Dx - Azoospermia 2/2011
    Hysteroscopy 3/2011 2 Polyps removed 4/2011
    DH on Clomid / Arimidex to address hormonal issues - Sperm found July 2011!
    IVF #1 September 2011 - ER 9/8/2011- 8R, 5M - icsi - 1 made it to transfer - BFFN :-(
    IVF #2 Lucky November 2011 - ER 11/25/2011 - 15 eggs!, 13 mature, 10 fertilized with isci - 7 made it to transfer! Transferred 1 - 8 cell and 2 - 7 cell. BFP!!!!
    1st U/S - Twins! 2nd U/S - 3 heartbeats!!! - HOLY COW!!!
    Prayers for our take home babies!
    2 babies born on 3/27/12 and lost. Last baby born on 3/29/12 and lost at 20 weeks.
    My angels grew wings shortly after birth.
    Ahava Raisel, Matisyahu Nissim & Zev Chaim - Mommy and Daddy will always love you.
    IVF #3 July 2012 - ER 7/17/2012 - 10 R. 5 F. 4 made it to ET
    Transferred 2 on 7/20/2012 no snow babies :-(
    Beta on 7/31/2012 = BFMFN
    A miracle gift expected to come to us through adoption around 9/2012
    Baby girl adopted - Birth Mother changed her mind and took the baby back
    IVF #4 October 2012 - New RE. Doing PGD Testing. 8 R, 7F, 2 made it to 5 day blast for PDG testing. Both Normal (Thank you G-d!!!) 1 boy and 1 girl
    transferred one beautiful 5day blast (girl)
    Please G-d the almighty one - let this be our take home baby!
    Beta #1 158, Beta #2 318, 1 Absolutely magnificent HB at 175! Thank you G-d!!!
    Baby Girl born August 5th. Thank you G-d for our precious miracle.
    AMA. PAIF & SAIF always welcome - I need all the prayers I can get!

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • Omg. I am heartbroken for you. This is so unfair. 
    image. image
    Me: 35, DH: 36, ttc: 5 years, dx: unknown
    10/11: after 2 years, saw a RE, FSH 5.4
    11/11: BFP! (surprise after thyroid med & normal hsg),
    12/11: missed m/c after 7 week u/s, 1/12: D&C
    6/12 IUI#1-IUI #3: clomid = BFP!, C/P
    IVF #1(10/12) FSH 5.4, AFC: 16 long Lupron, 5R/5M/4F, all 4 made it to 5dt, 1 blast/1-8 cell transferred=BFN
    IVF #2(12/12)AFC 21, MD lupron, 4R/4M/3F, 5dt of 1 blast and 2-8cell. BFN.
    IVF#3(4/13) Natural start antagon protocol, 12R,11F. one PGS normal at day 6 transfer. BFN.
    IVF#4 (11/13) C.CRM (ODW.U normal 8/13 Still no Diagnosis) EPP/antagonist. ER 13R/7M/6F. Only 1 made it to freeze. Abnormal. Looking into options of DE, Fresh vs frozen.
    10/14 new local RE to look into what's next. CD3 FSH 4.7, AMH 0.9. Met with DE agencies and exploring options for feb/march 2015
  • I'm so sorry {{{huge hugs}}}  
    TTC #1 since 9/07
    Dx MFI, AMA, Endo, AMH .16
    Lap 10/09 Removed endometrioma, stage IV endo and adhesions
    Lap 2/10 Endometrioma cysts & adhesions returned.
    Ivf #1 4/10 Antagonist, ET Cancelled.
    IVF #2 2/11 A/ACP+E2V C/P
    IVF #3 6/11 Letrozole/Antagonist BFN
    IVF #4 11/11 Low stim Antagonist BFN
    Lap 3/12 Lap & Selective HSG
    Many cycles of Letrozole and LP HCG w/TI and LDN
    IVF #5 8/12 Low stim BFN
    IUI #1 10/12 BFN br> S&PAIFW
  • Your post made my heart just sink... I posted something with the same title even, and my U/S was at the same time as yours.  That blank U/S screen... My betas rose into the 3ks, not ectopic...

     It is such a horrible shock, such a cruel trick of IF hell - I am so sorry you're dealing with this!!! 

     McIrish had good advice.  There's no rules and no constants.  I remember being "fine" one minute while folding laundry, and the next MH found me sitting and sobbing on the closet floor. 

    I wish there was something that anyone could do to ease your heartache.  You're in our thoughts!  Broken Heart

  • [[hugs]]. I am so sorry lady. I've been there and I know there just aren't words for this awful unfairness. Try to take each day even hour one at a time.
    TTC #1 Since 4/2010, Cycle 30 (P/SAIF, PGAL welcome)
    Positive for HLA-B27, I'm a mutant :p
    Testing - Me ok, gluten issue? DH - borderline count, low motility
    4/28/11 IUI#1 = BFP!(5/25), EDD 2/2/12 - m/c 5w3d
    7/3, 7/31, 9/25 - IUI#2-4=BFN
    IVF#1 - 1 blast = BFP!! (12/30), EDD 9/9/12, confirmed c/p 4w2d
    FET#1 3/2 - 2 blasts =BFP!! EDD 11/18/12, us#1 = twins! Confirmed m/c 5w6d
    4/20-surprise BFP and another c/p 4w2d
    FET#2 7/16 - 2 blasts = BFN
    FET#3 8/20 - 1 blast - BFP!! Beta #1-2=177, 354
    1st u/s 5w6d, one beautiful little HB :), 2nd u/s 146bpm
    baby girl born 5/10/13
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    image
    Tons of love and ((hugs)) to my BFPB, IF sister, IVF, and FET buddy NMscubagirl
  • image rockpaperlove:
    My heart breaks to pieces to hear this news.  Take special care of yourselves and know we are here for you when you are ready.  Hugs and love.

    this. thinking of you. 

    TTC #1 since 12/2010 DH: MFI, cancer survivor Me: Resected septate uterus, lap treated mild endo, tubes open, ovulate on own, autoimmune disease 3 Failed IUI's (2/2012, 4/2012, 6/2012) 
    IVF #1 August 2012. BFP! Beta #1 56.7 Beta #2 150 One baby, one heartbeat on 9/20/12! no h/b @7w6d. dandc @8w0d
    FET #1 December 2012, BFN
    FET #2 February 2013, no embies survived thaw
    IVF #2, BFP #2, Loss #2 March 2013, Scar tissue discovered, RPL testing,
    IVF #3, BFP #3, Loss #3 (twins) September 2013
    Hostile ute, moving onto Gestational Carrier!

    GC/FET #1 of 1 5AA blast and 1 compacted blast, February 2014, BFP #4 on 3/1/2014!
    6w u/s 1 bean with h/b of 145 bpm, 8w u/s 187 bpm
    EDD 11/7/14. Please, please, please stick little one!

    Praying unceasingly for a miracle. ALL welcome!

    image










  • Oh, I'm so sorry.

    I don't know what to say, or what could even help, so I'm just going to send you my best thoughts, and wishes for a speedy resolution and the ability to take a step toward physical and emotional recovery when you're ready. 


  • Oh nooo, sweetie!  I'm so terribly sorry and heartbroken for you.  Obviously, there are no words to make any of this better -- but please know that you are in our thoughts and we all wish we could do something, anything to make it even the littlest bit better and less painful for you.  This is so insanely unfair.  Sending you huge (((hug))) and kindest thoughts!
    TTC since honeymoon in 9/2010
    Me: 39, Dx DOR (FSH = 10.5, AMH = 0.43, best AFC = 10), AMA
    MH: 37, Dx Obstructive Azoospermia, multiple successful sperm retrieval procedures

    1/2012: IVF/ICSI #1 Antagonist = cancelled d/t poor response to max stims
    2/2012: IVF/ICSI #2 MDLF (4R, 4M, 1F) = BFP, saw heartbeat, missed m/c 9w0d, D&E
    8/2012: IVF/ICSI #3 EPP/MDLF (7R, 2M, 1F) = BFN

    12/2012: (New RE) Operative hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue

    1/2013: IVF/ICSI #4 Low-dose stim/Antagonist (AFC=6); ER=1/26 (5R-couldn't access rt ovary, 5M, 4F), ET=1/29 (trans 3) = BFP!; 2/11 beta#1(13dp3dt)=2127, 2/13=3367; twin girls due 10/19/13

    PAIF/SAIF very welcome!

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt16bf7d.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
  • Oh Liz!  I have been thinking about you all last night and this morning waiting for your results.  This is definitely NOT the answer I was thinking I'd see.  Words can not express how sorry I am for you and your DH.  Please, please let me know if there is anything I can do for you!  You will be in my thoughts and prayers.  After reading your blog post yesterday, I know you will get through this.  God does have a plan for the two of you and your mother is watching over you both.  She knows what that plan is and I know your take home baby will come to you in one way or another!  **HUGE HUGS**

    TTC #1 Since May 2011 ~ Everyone Welcome 

    ME (30): DOR d/t chemo & radiation, FNH of liver, Hypothyroidism


    DH (30): MFI d/t testicular torsion and removal, Low T, Oligospermia, ASA


    Sept '11-April '13 Testing, failed multiple MFI treatments, saving & TONS of praying


    January 2014 ~ IVF/ICSI & PGS ~ no response to stims ~ converted to IUI ~ BFN

    February 2014 ~ On to donor embyros ~ 5 blasts!!! 


    March 2014 ~ FET #1 ~ Transferred 2 blasts ~ BFN


    July 2014 ~ Kliman's mock cycle with endometrial function test


    Sample too small for EFT, HE slide showed immature cells


    Praying for a different protocol and needing another biopsy for EFT



    photo collage.jpg
  • Thank you all SO MUCH. I am blown away to give you this update, but they were wrong. I posted an update but my OB saw a sac. I want to kill my RE's office right now, I am so done with them. I feel like I was told my baby was killed in a car wreck only to find out a few hours later they are alive, doing okay and just waiting for me in the hospital. We aren't out of the woods yet, but he/she certainly is not dead with no hope like those nurses told me! I could choke them.

    ************ Signature/Ticker Warning ************
    Me (32) DH (36) - Finding our way to baby #1
    Me: POF/DOR - AMH <0.16, heterozygous c677t MTHFR, insulin resistant and gluten intolerant
    DH: Severe MFI

    12/2/11 - IUI #1- BFN 
    8/1/12 - IVF #1 - Zero response from max stims (600iu intramuscularly)

    My ovaries are just for decoration

    12/6/12 - Adopted five embryos that had been frozen for over ten years!
    2/11/13 - DEmbryo FET #1 Thawed four, sadly two didn't survive. Transferred two beautiful blasts. 
    2/16/13 - First BFP of my life @ 6dp5dt! EDD 10/30/13
    3/27/13 - After beta and u/s hell, no heartbeat ever detected. D&C at 9w1d.

    6/5/13 - Adopted four new embryos that had been frozen for seven years!
     
    9/12/13 - DEmbryo FET #2. Thawed and transferred two beautiful blasts
    9/17/13 - BFP @ 5dp6dt! EDD 05/31/14
    9/29/13 - m/c @ 5w1d. :(

    11/19/13 - DEmbryo FET #3. Thawed and transferred one blast from each batch. Wow!
    11/23/13 - BFP @ 4dp6dt! EDD 8/7/13
    Beta #1 @ 13dp6dt - 522  Beta #2 @ 16dp6dt - 1373 
    6w5d ultrasound showed one perfect baby with a beautiful heartbeat of 134bpm!

    Snowflake baby is a girl! 
    Our beautiful Snowflake girl arrived on July 22, 2014!   
    My embryo adoption blog: Wishing on a Snowflake
     
        image      image 
  • image liz4paws:
    Thank you all SO MUCH. I am blown away to give you this update, but they were wrong. I posted an update but my OB saw a sac. I want to kill my RE's office right now, I am so done with them. I feel like I was told my baby was killed in a car wreck only to find out a few hours later they are alive, doing okay and just waiting for me in the hospital. We aren't out of the woods yet, but he/she certainly is not dead with no hope like those nurses told me! I could choke them.

     WHAT!!!!!!

    TTC #1 Since May 2011 ~ Everyone Welcome 

    ME (30): DOR d/t chemo & radiation, FNH of liver, Hypothyroidism


    DH (30): MFI d/t testicular torsion and removal, Low T, Oligospermia, ASA


    Sept '11-April '13 Testing, failed multiple MFI treatments, saving & TONS of praying


    January 2014 ~ IVF/ICSI & PGS ~ no response to stims ~ converted to IUI ~ BFN

    February 2014 ~ On to donor embyros ~ 5 blasts!!! 


    March 2014 ~ FET #1 ~ Transferred 2 blasts ~ BFN


    July 2014 ~ Kliman's mock cycle with endometrial function test


    Sample too small for EFT, HE slide showed immature cells


    Praying for a different protocol and needing another biopsy for EFT



    photo collage.jpg
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