C-sections

recovery with a toddler

Hi ladies. I am 37 weeks pregnant, and I have GD and polyhydramnios. Despite my sugars being under good control, baby is growing at a concerning pace. He was measuring 8#9oz this week. My first son was 8#15oz, I had him vaginally, but he was a mild shoulder dystocia. My doctor discussed my options with me today. Basically, he wants to keep baby put as long as possible, probably 39.5 weeks. Baby will probably be over 10# by then, and given the history with my son, there is a risk of shoulder dystocia. My doctor said I could try labor, but first sign of trouble, we would be going to a csection, or just scheduling a csection. I'm leaning towards just scheduling the csection because I don't want to put my son's health at risk.

Now I'm terrified of surgery and the recovery. I have a very active, 35lb 2 year old. How much help will I need caring for him, and for how long? What kind of restrictions will I have? Anything else anyone can add? TIA

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Re: recovery with a toddler

  • hijoihijoi
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 250 Answers 500 Love Its
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    My son was 3 when I had my daughter and weighed about 30 pounds.  I couldn't pick him up for the first two weeks.  At bedtime, I slid into bed with him to cuddle, instead of picking him up to put him in bed.  I had my DH and my mom with me for the first two weeks anyway, which was just enough time for me to recover.  (It was my 2nd c/s though, so I knew what to expect in terms of healinhg and not overdoing myself.) 

    Changing diapers was the hardest.  I switched him to pull ups so that I didn't have to pick him up.  Just listen to your body. It will tell you when it's too much, but I wouldn't lift him for at least 2 weeks, possibly longer. Good luck to you, and remember to move as much as you can.  It hurts but really helps.

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  • image hijoi:

    My son was 3 when I had my daughter and weighed about 30 pounds.  I couldn't pick him up for the first two weeks.  At bedtime, I slid into bed with him to cuddle, instead of picking him up to put him in bed.  I had my DH and my mom with me for the first two weeks anyway, which was just enough time for me to recover.  (It was my 2nd c/s though, so I knew what to expect in terms of healinhg and not overdoing myself.) 

    Changing diapers was the hardest.  I switched him to pull ups so that I didn't have to pick him up.  Just listen to your body. It will tell you when it's too much, but I wouldn't lift him for at least 2 weeks, possibly longer. Good luck to you, and remember to move as much as you can.  It hurts but really helps.

    All of this. I couldn't lift my toddler for about 4 weeks. Listen to your body and most definitely move around as much as possible. The best way to recover is to walk as soon as they let you.Good luck!  

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  • Gavin was 21 months old when Carson was born and was a super active kid.  I just took it easy, and didn't pick him up for a couple weeks.  We eased into it and there were no major problems.  I will say that he was a little freaked out seeing me in the hospital and upset that I was gone for a few days (I stayed the full 4 days since C was in the NICU).  Luckily, we had a lot of grandparents there to watch him and spoil him, so he got over that pretty quickly.

    Good luck!  

     

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    Carson Henry, born 39w, 2d, via emergency c/s due to no fetal movement and fetal distress.  Seizures, IVH grade 2, brain injury, kidney and liver damage.  Complete blood clot in the artery in his right arm.  27 days in the NICU.  Now discharged from all specialists, excepts his kidney doctor, who will monitor him indefinitely.  My tough little cookie.

  • Just to give you a different answer than PP, I had my 2nd CS 3 wks ago and my XH brought my 2 1/2 year old 30 lbs son home to me 4 days after I got out of the hospital. So a week post surgery I was lifting him and carrying him when necessary because I was on my own with him and my newborn. My recovery has been smooth though. I even got official permission to carry him at my 2 wk visit although my doctor got a little perturbed when I pointed out I sometimes carry both kids up and down the stairs. I guess it just depends on how you are healing and what you need to do. GL!
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  • After DS2 was born, I was cleared to lift DS1 (who was ~25 lbs) after my two week appointment.  And once I was cleared to lift DS1, DH went back to work (he didn't have much vacation time).  I was fine home with both of the boys by myself.  It wasn't easy, and I was exhausted by the time DH got home, but it was totally doable.

    This time around, my Dr. didn't like the sound of me lifting DS2 (who is ~35 lbs), so I'm still on lifting restrictions after my two week appointment.  She said no lifting more than the baby + carseat for two more weeks, then only occasional & careful lifting of DS2 until my 6 week appointment.  

     We're watching a lot of TV, honestly.  It's hard to find things to do that don't require me to lift my high-needs toddler.  And it's been snowy here so there hasn't been much of an opportunity to get outside easily either.

    Also, keep in mind that you won't be able to drive while you are taking narcotics, and after that if you are in enough pain that you would hesitate to slam on the brakes.

    The surgery itself has been very smooth both times around, and I'm feeling really good now 2.5 weeks out.  If I wasn't on lifting restrictions I would be very comfortable home with the three kids on my own at this point. 

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  • DD1 was 22 months and about 22 lbs when I had DD2 a month ago. My OB and MW said not to lift DD1 for 2 weeks after my c/s, and that was right about when I started to feel like I could do it. DH and MIL helped out those first two weeks. After that, I still didn't want to carry DD1 around for long periods of time, but I could do the necessary lifting for putting her in her crib, diaper changes, and putting her in her high chair.

    If you decide to go with the c/s, I'd plan to have help around for at least 2 weeks, preferably 3-4 considering the weight of your toddler.

    ETA: Not trying to imply that he's overweight, just that I know DD1's 22 lbs were borderline for me at the 2-week mark.


    BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
    BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d
    BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence

  • I guess I'm odd man out.  I had my 2nd c-section 2 weeks ago and my first son is a 33lb 2yr old.  I picked him up while sitting on my 2nd day in the hospital (got yelled at for that by family).  I was picking my son up and putting him into his high chair and bed by our first day home which was 4 days post c-section.  I was down on the floor playing with him by day 5.  I drove myself to a job interview on day 8.

    My dr. had said no driving for 2 weeks but I did fine with it.  She had told me I could pick up my son but to keep it to a minimum, which I did.  My husband was home with me for 2 weeks but honestly he was supposed to go back to work on day 7 and I could have managed on my own.  He just extended his time home to spend more time with us.

    The 2nd c-section was way rougher than my first because this baby was stuck and took 3 drs to get him out.  My first c-section I never had to take pain meds and this time I had to take like 6 pain pills in the hospital.  I've got a crazy high pain tolerance and I'm stubborn so I don't recommend jumping in as hard core as I have but I wouldn't think you'd need anyone more than a week or two.

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    Married 9/26/09 BFP #1 12/09 Blighted Ovum 12/23/09 D&C 1/10 BFP#2 5/1/10 DS born 12/18/10 38wks 10 lbs 1 oz BFP #3 6/25/12 EDD 3/5/13 RCS DS2 born 2-22-13 38wks 8 lbs 4 oz

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  • When I made my decision that I was going with a RCS instead of trying a VBAC, my Mom immediately put in for 2 weeks vacation and thank God, those 2 weeks in July were still open! So she will be coming everyday to help with whatever I need. My DD will be 4 by the time the baby is born and is pretty self sufficient except for bathtime when I have to rinse her hair and that involves me getting on the floor so on the nights that DH isn't working his second job, he will be with me, otherwise it will be my dear Mom. I remember being given the go ahead to drive at 2 weeks post-op unless I was on my Percosets, which I did take for the first couple of weeks along with Ibuprofen. But getting up and walking, as bad as it seems at the time, is a key factor in the healing process.  Good luck to you!
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  • Don't be terrified!  I felt great after each of my c/s.  DS was 17 months when I had my 2nd c/s.  He was a chunk and I had no trouble caring for him from the day we got home.  I was able to kind of boost him into the crib to avoid lifting (but by 2 weeks out was fine lifting him, as well).  We were back to normal activities by 3 weeks out.  Same goes for after my 3rd c/s last fall, I came home to an almost-4 year old and a 2 1/2 year old and was able to help them in and out of the car/car seat by a week out.  Actually, I lifted them onto my hospital bed when they came to meet DD2 - and was scolded by my DH, oops.  The pain meds I was on probably helped with that one.  We moved across the country 2 weeks after my 3rd c/s and I helped with the move - a lot of it was mind over matter, I think.  Smile

    Best of luck to you either way! 

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