July 2013 Moms

Not BFing question

I don't mean to sound like a douche, or judgey or whatever.... I'm just generally curious. Why would you choose not to BF? I don't mean having a medical condition but saying "Nope just not for me." ----- That sounds harsh but I couldn't figure out how to word it. 
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Re: Not BFing question

  • A friend of mine has a history of sexual trauma and doesn't think she'll be able to handle BFing. She is in therapy and working through it, but if the time comes and she's not there yet, she won't do it. 

     I know that's one reason. I don't know about others.  

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  • Dreadie how are you? How is your counseling going?
    Lol you aren't a douche! I wanted to BF more than anything but couldn't produce. My sister on the other hand had enough supply for 5 babies but it just wasn't for her she just didn't like the whole idea and didn't do it. She even told me that it's weird lol. I said ok thanks. I totally would have if I could've. Every pregnancy is different and maybe this time I will be able to.
  • There are a lot of reasons why women don't do it.

    My mom didn't nurse any of the three of us. With me, it was because my dad was a full time student and she had to go back to work six weeks after I was born. At the time, there was no place or support for breastfeeding/pumping even though she was a nurse in the hospital. With my brother and sister, it was because she was working two full time jobs. She honestly didn't have the time. We're all healthy adults now, so I don't see that we were disadvantaged for our food coming from a can instead of my mom's tits. (Hell, I have no allergies and fewer health problems than my husband who was breastfed and at the age of thirty, still has to get allergy shots every two weeks. According to all the literature shoved in pregnant women's faces, it should be the opposite.)

    My sister did not want to. Never did. That's her choice. She did try with her twins (her second of three pregnancies) when they were born so early, but she was only able to pump about half an ounce a day while they were in the NICU, so obviously, even if she had wanted to, nursing wasn't for her.

    It's such a personal choice and I honestly don't see why others judge it so harshly. If a kid is being fed enough, then let it go. Your baby, your body, your choice. That goes for all women. If you don't want to be judged for how you take care of your kid, why are you judging others, you know?

    Full disclosure: I plan to breastfeed, but that is my choice. If for some reason, it doesn't work out, you can bet your ass that I'll be buying formula instead of stressing myself and my baby out by trying to force something. 

     



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  • I know several people who did for a short time and then went to forumla when they started work again or when they just didn't want to be the only one feeding the baby at night anymore. I also have heard of a few women who struggled BFing their first baby and decided to not go through it again. It can also be a cultural thing. I read an article about a woman in china who found out that there was a stigma about BFing because only poor people did that.
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  • I'm a first time expectant Mom, but I assume there are many reasons a woman might not choose to breastfeed. For example, if she has to go back to work quickly after the birth of the child. I know there are ways to make it work with pumping, but I would expect that is a major reason for some women. Also, I imagine if you have multiple other children at home, it could be hard to keep up with breastfeeding every two hours (especially if your baby takes a decent amount of time to feed,) looking after your other children, especially if your SO returns to work quickly after birth.

    I personally try not to judge because every one has different circumstances and I do not know what their struggles are. How to feed your child is a very personal decision. I don't think it makes someone a bad mother to provide their child with formula. That said, at this point in time, I think the majority of women try to initiate breastfeeding save those for whom it is medically impossible.

  • I'm pretty sure I'm not going to breast feed. I just don't want to. I want my body back. I already love this baby more than anything, but once he is born my body needs to be mine again. I was a formula baby (My mom was very sick after I was born so it was a necessity) But I don't feel that I was shorted anything. I was and am a very healthy person.

    Its something I've thought about long before I was even pregnant and for my husband and I it will be the best choice. I'm of course leaving the option open because maybe once he's born I'll feel differently but I just don't see that happening.

  • image notaffected1:

    I'm pretty sure I'm not going to breast feed. I just don't want to. I want my body back. I already love this baby more than anything, but once he is born my body needs to be mine again. I was a formula baby (My mom was very sick after I was born so it was a necessity) But I don't feel that I was shorted anything. I was and am a very healthy person.

    Its something I've thought about long before I was even pregnant and for my husband and I it will be the best choice. I'm of course leaving the option open because maybe once he's born I'll feel differently but I just don't see that happening.

     BFing is actually supposed to help you lose weight ...  

  • image Dccornel:
    image notaffected1:

    I'm pretty sure I'm not going to breast feed. I just don't want to. I want my body back. I already love this baby more than anything, but once he is born my body needs to be mine again. I was a formula baby (My mom was very sick after I was born so it was a necessity) But I don't feel that I was shorted anything. I was and am a very healthy person.

    Its something I've thought about long before I was even pregnant and for my husband and I it will be the best choice. I'm of course leaving the option open because maybe once he's born I'll feel differently but I just don't see that happening.

     

     BFing is actually supposed to help you lose weight ...  

     

    I could be wrong, but I don't think her stance was about losing weight. Women who are breastfeeding have to deal with hormones similarly to pregnant women. They also have to be very careful about what/how much they eat/drink in order to produce enough milk for the baby. I respect her choice as it's her body and her baby.

  • image Dccornel:
    image notaffected1:

    I'm pretty sure I'm not going to breast feed. I just don't want to. I want my body back. I already love this baby more than anything, but once he is born my body needs to be mine again. I was a formula baby (My mom was very sick after I was born so it was a necessity) But I don't feel that I was shorted anything. I was and am a very healthy person.

    Its something I've thought about long before I was even pregnant and for my husband and I it will be the best choice. I'm of course leaving the option open because maybe once he's born I'll feel differently but I just don't see that happening.

     BFing is actually supposed to help you lose weight ...  

    I'm not referring to losing weight. I just mean that pregnancy is a full body take over by this little baby and I'm ready to have my body be MINE again.

  • image CNettles86:
    image Dccornel:
    image notaffected1:

    I'm pretty sure I'm not going to breast feed. I just don't want to. I want my body back. I already love this baby more than anything, but once he is born my body needs to be mine again. I was a formula baby (My mom was very sick after I was born so it was a necessity) But I don't feel that I was shorted anything. I was and am a very healthy person.

    Its something I've thought about long before I was even pregnant and for my husband and I it will be the best choice. I'm of course leaving the option open because maybe once he's born I'll feel differently but I just don't see that happening.

     

     BFing is actually supposed to help you lose weight ...  

     

    I could be wrong, but I don't think her stance was about losing weight. Women who are breastfeeding have to deal with hormones similarly to pregnant women. They also have to be very careful about what/how much they eat/drink in order to produce enough milk for the baby. I respect her choice as it's her body and her baby.

    Um...no you don't.  And I am not knocking anyone's choice, but diet in most cases is definitely not something that needs to be restricted. I know this because I have been nursing for 2.25 years. :)  So, let's at least give out accurate information.

    Anyway, I can think of other reasons. It hurts. My sister tried with her first and simply hated it. She didn't want to deal with the bleeding nipples.  You do feel tied to your baby 24/7 for the first several months. Cluster feeding is friggin' hard!!  Mastitis and thrush are miserable things.  Some people are uncomfortable NIP, so then they feel isolated having to stay home to nurse a baby all the time, or leave the room to nurse.  Another reason...any time something is wrong doctors blame your milk and suggest formula.  It's hard to not use formula when the doctor says to do so.  

    God forbid someone just not want to...because...I don't know...they don't want to. LOL!

    I will say that I dealt with sore nipples, cluster feeding, 5-6 night wakings, thrush and two bouts of mastitis.  And it IS worth it to me.  I am pretty sure DD is done or very close to it. She didn't ask once today.  After the first 6 months it became really enjoyable, an easy way to settle her down, an easy way to just take a break when I didn't want to read that story one more time...and I am sad today a little bit.  Just a little sad I'm losing that very useful tool, that bonding time when she'd play with my hair and snuggle.

    So, if you are on the fence, don't just consider those hard first few weeks/months.  Sorry that turned into a novel.  

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  • I'll probably get flamed for saying this but I don't really understand when people don't even try. There's so much information on the benefits of breastfeeding, even if it's just for a little while. I would need a good reason not to try my hardest. There are of course good reasons, to start off with formula, such as needing to go back on certain medications.

    I try not to judge but I admit I side eye people who say that breastfeeding seemed weird to them or they didn't want their boobs to sag, it just seems selfish to me.

  • image pepomntpat:
    image CNettles86:
    image Dccornel:
    image notaffected1:

    I'm pretty sure I'm not going to breast feed. I just don't want to. I want my body back. I already love this baby more than anything, but once he is born my body needs to be mine again. I was a formula baby (My mom was very sick after I was born so it was a necessity) But I don't feel that I was shorted anything. I was and am a very healthy person.

    Its something I've thought about long before I was even pregnant and for my husband and I it will be the best choice. I'm of course leaving the option open because maybe once he's born I'll feel differently but I just don't see that happening.

     

     BFing is actually supposed to help you lose weight ...  

     

    I could be wrong, but I don't think her stance was about losing weight. Women who are breastfeeding have to deal with hormones similarly to pregnant women. They also have to be very careful about what/how much they eat/drink in order to produce enough milk for the baby. I respect her choice as it's her body and her baby.

    Um...no you don't.  And I am not knocking anyone's choice, but diet in most cases is definitely not something that needs to be restricted. I know this because I have been nursing for 2.25 years. :)  So, let's at least give out accurate information.

    Anyway, I can think of other reasons. It hurts. My sister tried with her first and simply hated it. She didn't want to deal with the bleeding nipples.  You do feel tied to your baby 24/7 for the first several months. Cluster feeding is friggin' hard!!  Mastitis and thrush are miserable things.  Some people are uncomfortable NIP, so then they feel isolated having to stay home to nurse a baby all the time, or leave the room to nurse.  Another reason...any time something is wrong doctors blame your milk and suggest formula.  It's hard to not use formula when the doctor says to do so.  

    God forbid someone just not want to...because...I don't know...they don't want to. LOL!

    I will say that I dealt with sore nipples, cluster feeding, 5-6 night wakings, thrush and two bouts of mastitis.  And it IS worth it to me.  I am pretty sure DD is done or very close to it. She didn't ask once today.  After the first 6 months it became really enjoyable, an easy way to settle her down, an easy way to just take a break when I didn't want to read that story one more time...and I am sad today a little bit.  Just a little sad I'm losing that very useful tool, that bonding time when she'd play with my hair and snuggle.

    So, if you are on the fence, don't just consider those hard first few weeks/months.  Sorry that turned into a novel.  

    I didn't mean that she needed to watch what she eats as in diet, I meant she needs to be sure to consume enough calories because of the extra calories that nursing burns.

  • image meltoine:

    A friend of mine has a history of sexual trauma and doesn't think she'll be able to handle BFing. She is in therapy and working through it, but if the time comes and she's not there yet, she won't do it. 

     I know that's one reason. I don't know about others.  

    Yup, I've been thinking about this.  I don't have a history myself, but I have very close family members who do.  I have a feeling it's why they both chose to formula feed, and that's something I can never, ever judge.

                                                  
                                                 
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  • I BF my daughter for 15 mo and plan to BF this one as well not only because I feel it's better for them and me, but it's a huge cost savings and nice to not have to worry about having enough bottles/formula everytime we leftthe house.  THat being said it is hard and a huge time commitment.  I felt like I always had to be around in case she got hungry or have a pump around in case I became engorged.  I couldn't wait to have my freedom again if that makes sense.  And I don't judge anyone who just feels like it's not for them - their body, their choice.

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  • image CNettles86:

     I didn't mean that she needed to watch what she eats as in diet, I meant she needs to be sure to consume enough calories because of the extra calories that nursing burns.

    You said a woman has to be careful what she eats and drinks. That simply is not true. You eat when you are hungry, and drink when you are thirsty.  Simple.  Naturally you eat more when you follow your body's signals. It is frustrating when someone makes something seem more difficult than it is.  There are so many real obstacles to BFing we don't need to manufacture them by saying someone has to be careful of what they eat-whether it be more or fewer calories. So, let's just stick to facts.  

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  • image pepomntpat:
    image CNettles86:

     I didn't mean that she needed to watch what she eats as in diet, I meant she needs to be sure to consume enough calories because of the extra calories that nursing burns.

    You said a woman has to be careful what she eats and drinks. That simply is not true. You eat when you are hungry, and drink when you are thirsty.  Simple.  Naturally you eat more when you follow your body's signals. It is frustrating when someone makes something seem more difficult than it is.  There are so many real obstacles to BFing we don't need to manufacture them by saying someone has to be careful of what they eat-whether it be more or fewer calories. So, let's just stick to facts.  

    No need to jump down anyone's throat here. She was just trying to clarify what I meant by wanting my body back... and she was right.

    And I do think that if you choose to breast feed you have to be more aware of what you put into your body than someone who is formula feeding, being that it will affect breast milk in some cases.

    I never understand why people on either side get so defensive. Your body, your baby, your choice. My body, my baby, my choice.

  • I did and will FF for multiple reasons. I have tiny nipples and I would need to do a lot of work to them to help the baby latch and I don't have the desire to do that. I am on Wellbutrin and now my OB says that I can't be on that while breastfeeding (this has changed since I had DS), and I'm not willing to go off of it when I've been on it almost 10 years and know how well it works for my mental well-being. Finally, when I tried breastfeeding DS, I would get really weird feelings, like pangs of homesickness, and it really freaked me out and made me not like DS very well. I've since seen information about those feelings being called D-MER (dysphoric milk ejection reflex) which I think could be a reason why some women choose not to BF.

    I did intend to BF DS, but for the above reasons, it didn't work well. I felt such guilt, but now that I've seen how none of the "side effects" of FF affected him, I don't feel the mommy guilt and I actually feel good about making the decision to FF this LO. I just wish it weren't so expensive! 

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  • image pepomntpat:
    image CNettles86:

     I didn't mean that she needed to watch what she eats as in diet, I meant she needs to be sure to consume enough calories because of the extra calories that nursing burns.

    You said a woman has to be careful what she eats and drinks. That simply is not true. You eat when you are hungry, and drink when you are thirsty.  Simple.  Naturally you eat more when you follow your body's signals. It is frustrating when someone makes something seem more difficult than it is.  There are so many real obstacles to BFing we don't need to manufacture them by saying someone has to be careful of what they eat-whether it be more or fewer calories. So, let's just stick to facts.  

     

    I suppose I worded it wrong and perhaps what I've heard isn't correct. I'm not trying to argue with you.

     By "watching" I meant consuming enough calories and drinking enough water. I very much know restricting your food/water is not good during pregnancy or nursing.  I've heard an extra 500 calories per day for breast feeding, but I suppose that might not be correct. You probably have more knowledge on this than I do, but I've heard that if you don't keep your calorie intake up it might compromise how much milk you produce.  Also, I was told by my doctor that I need to be drinking enough water right now to be using the bathroom at least once per hour. In my opinion, depending on your job, continuing this after giving birth could be an obstacle. I will not be working once baby comes, but I base this opinion on my previous job as a preschool teacher and knowing how difficult it would be to slip away that frequently.

    I'm not trying to give the previous poster any misinformation or reasons not to breastfeed. It seemed to me that her decision has already been made. I was just trying to explain that while her decision might not be my own, I can respect it and see where she is coming from.

  • There are things like babies being sensitive or allergic to lactose, soy, and caffeine. Someone on the BF board shared that they switched to formula after they figured out that their LO was allergic to soy and dairy and she had issues with those dietary restrictions. I don't think that's super common though because I've only hear about that online and no from anyone I know in person.
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  • With DS-1 I tried to BF for a couple of weeks and it just didn't work out. I took all the help I was given, a lactation nurse and a good friend that BFing was second nature. I didn't seem to be producing too much milk and I couldn't get my DS to latch on. I also didn't have the support from my then H, so deciding to stop was a very tough decision that didn't come lightly.

    With DS-2, I didn't try. My breasts were extremely sore throughout the pregnancy and it made me cringe with pain to think of my son latched on to my nipple. 2 weeks after DS was born he had a rare condition that may have made it impossible for me to have BF anyway. But my decision was made before this condition came about.

    This time around I am going to try to BF. I don't know if it will workout, but I am going to try. This time around I have a wonderful husband that supports me and is willing to help out in any way he can to help make this time around a success.  

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  • image pepomntpat:
    image CNettles86:

     I didn't mean that she needed to watch what she eats as in diet, I meant she needs to be sure to consume enough calories because of the extra calories that nursing burns.

    You said a woman has to be careful what she eats and drinks. That simply is not true. You eat when you are hungry, and drink when you are thirsty.  Simple.  Naturally you eat more when you follow your body's signals. It is frustrating when someone makes something seem more difficult than it is.  There are so many real obstacles to BFing we don't need to manufacture them by saying someone has to be careful of what they eat-whether it be more or fewer calories. So, let's just stick to facts.  


    This is your experience with BF but may not be the case for every nursing mother. I certainly had to watch what I ate while BF and had a very hard time consuming enough fluids to keep my supply up which was as much if not more than when I was pg. DS would get terrible gas when I ate high fiber foods like broccoli or spicy foods and he was definitely effected when I drank caffeine. So to say that you don't have curtail your diet may have been true for you but certainly wasn't for me.
    Both my sister and SIL didn't nurse. They both said it just wasn't for them and I think my sister told me she thought it would make her uncomfortable. I don't remember passing judgement other than when my SIL was complaining about how expensive the formula was as I stood there staring at her with her big fake boobs she didn't want to ruin. It's a personal decision and both their kids never went hungry.

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  • Thank you so much for all the responses! I guess I'm odd that I think that FF seems like more work but after hearing responses I can see how it might not be for some people. 

    That's odd that doctors immediately go to that the issue is in BFing and suggest FFing.  I didn't know that at all, even though I do have a friend that couldn't BF because her son had allergies and she didn't want to alter her diet to accommodate. She was the only person that I knew sans my aunt who FF her kids, but that might just because I live in a rural area. Not sure if that makes a difference but when my doctor found out I got pregnant he told me I should nurse till my kid is 2 or 3 O.o 

    I can definitely see it as a social thing. I remember my mom being really offended when my aunt FF her kids and would say that she "wasn't poor so she didn't need to subject herself to that."  

    Urgh @ the bleeding nipples comment. I feel like I am getting so much different information regarding that. My WIC person said that if it hurts then you have a latch problem, my sister said that nursing is a breeze after your uterus shrinks up but before that it completely sucks, but it sucks after you have a baby in general. My mom and my SIL said that nursing is super painful and worse than labor.

    I agree that I don't think anyone has a right to judge since (hopefully!) every mom is doing what she thinks is best for her and her family. I know for myself FF hasn't even crossed my mind but that's mostly because I'm dirt poor, don't have a dishwasher, and have a horrible memory/am bipolar so I KNOW i would forget to buy formula or pack it in the diaper bag. At least with BF I wouldn't have to worry about that :-P 

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  • Women are constantly being told what they choose to do is wrong, particularly when it comes to children.
    What you eat during pregnancy is constantly being judged.
    Women who don't breast feed are often treated horribly by medical staff. The pressure and guilt is ridiculous.
    For women who try and can't it can be heartbreaking and women who choose not to for whatever reason are too often seen as selfish rather than simply making up their own mind.
    Women who choose to breast feed for more than a year are also often side eyed by people who think it is gross.

    You can't win.

    I kind of wish people would simply stop judging and let people choose what to do with their own body. If they were depriving them of food it would be one thing but formula is NOT bad for babies.

    I plan to try to breast feed but I will admit the idea both excites and terrifies me. I will never judge someone who can't or chooses not to breast feed.

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  • image ncchnat:

    There are a lot of reasons why women don't do it.

    My mom didn't nurse any of the three of us. With me, it was because my dad was a full time student and she had to go back to work six weeks after I was born. At the time, there was no place or support for breastfeeding/pumping even though she was a nurse in the hospital. With my brother and sister, it was because she was working two full time jobs. She honestly didn't have the time. We're all healthy adults now, so I don't see that we were disadvantaged for our food coming from a can instead of my mom's tits. (Hell, I have no allergies and fewer health problems than my husband who was breastfed and at the age of thirty, still has to get allergy shots every two weeks. According to all the literature shoved in pregnant women's faces, it should be the opposite.)

    Actually a lot of medical professionals to this day still aren't able to nurse because they are on shifts and they can't just take 20-30 minute breaks whenever they would normally need to nurse.  My friend is a medical resident at a hospital and said that other residents who have babies basically don't even bother trying because it just won't work with their schedules unfortunately.  Guess what - their kids are just fine.  

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  • image missymr:
    Women are constantly being told what they choose to do is wrong, particularly when it comes to children. What you eat during pregnancy is constantly being judged. Women who don't breast feed are often treated horribly by medical staff. The pressure and guilt is ridiculous. For women who try and can't it can be heartbreaking and women who choose not to for whatever reason are too often seen as selfish rather than simply making up their own mind. Women who choose to breast feed for more than a year are also often side eyed by people who think it is gross. You can't win. I kind of wish people would simply stop judging and let people choose what to do with their own body. If they were depriving them of food it would be one thing but formula is NOT bad for babies. I plan to try to breast feed but I will admit the idea both excites and terrifies me. I will never judge someone who can't or chooses not to breast feed.

    Urgh. That reminds me I wanted to post about what my sister calls "mommy wars." I don't know if thats a real term or if she made that up but its exactly what you just mentioned. That everything you do is being judged, that if you do xyz you are going to eff up your kids for life, but if you don't do xyz you are going to eff up your kids for life..... that everything is YOUR fault.

    I find it interesting because I am nature over nurture type of person. Yes, I feel that my actions affect my child but I also feel like so much is predetermined and has nothing to do with me personally.  

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  • image MrsErinH:
    image ncchnat:

    There are a lot of reasons why women don't do it.

    My mom didn't nurse any of the three of us. With me, it was because my dad was a full time student and she had to go back to work six weeks after I was born. At the time, there was no place or support for breastfeeding/pumping even though she was a nurse in the hospital. With my brother and sister, it was because she was working two full time jobs. She honestly didn't have the time. We're all healthy adults now, so I don't see that we were disadvantaged for our food coming from a can instead of my mom's tits. (Hell, I have no allergies and fewer health problems than my husband who was breastfed and at the age of thirty, still has to get allergy shots every two weeks. According to all the literature shoved in pregnant women's faces, it should be the opposite.)

    Actually a lot of medical professionals to this day still aren't able to nurse because they are on shifts and they can't just take 20-30 minute breaks whenever they would normally need to nurse.  My friend is a medical resident at a hospital and said that other residents who have babies basically don't even bother trying because it just won't work with their schedules unfortunately.  Guess what - their kids are just fine.  

    I didn't know about today, just know what my mother told me. My MIL said the same; that thirty years ago, there wasn't this pressure to breastfeed and actually, for those who did, no matter their profession, there wasn't a lot of support or understanding of it in the workplace, especially when it came to needing to take the time to pump. 



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  • image dreadiemama:

    image missymr:
    Women are constantly being told what they choose to do is wrong, particularly when it comes to children. What you eat during pregnancy is constantly being judged. Women who don't breast feed are often treated horribly by medical staff. The pressure and guilt is ridiculous. For women who try and can't it can be heartbreaking and women who choose not to for whatever reason are too often seen as selfish rather than simply making up their own mind. Women who choose to breast feed for more than a year are also often side eyed by people who think it is gross. You can't win. I kind of wish people would simply stop judging and let people choose what to do with their own body. If they were depriving them of food it would be one thing but formula is NOT bad for babies. I plan to try to breast feed but I will admit the idea both excites and terrifies me. I will never judge someone who can't or chooses not to breast feed.

    Urgh. That reminds me I wanted to post about what my sister calls "mommy wars." I don't know if thats a real term or if she made that up but its exactly what you just mentioned. That everything you do is being judged, that if you do xyz you are going to eff up your kids for life, but if you don't do xyz you are going to eff up your kids for life..... that everything is YOUR fault.

    I find it interesting because I am nature over nurture type of person. Yes, I feel that my actions affect my child but I also feel like so much is predetermined and has nothing to do with me personally.  

    The "mommy wars" are real and it's disgusting. (Just do a quick search for "mommy wars" on Google and millions of hits come up.)

    TIME did a story about a year ago with the headline "Are you mom enough?" and showed a woman nursing a kid I would say was four, maybe a big three year old or a small five year old. It was all about attachment parenting, but it created a backlash by people who felt like they were being judged either for doing attachment parenting or not. It wasn't pretty.

    I don't really judge one way or the other about extended BFing like that (other than it's not for me), but I have to say that the cover plus the headline pissed me off and I get the magazine, so I know what the article was about. I can understand some one who doesn't being even more so.

    image 

    ETA: According to the photo credit, the child is three. 



    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers 

    BFP #1 12/7/2011 EDD 8/21/2012 Delivered at 15 weeks
    "I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be." 
    BFP#2 10/19/2012 EDD 6/30/2013 Delivered safely two days early

    Everyone is welcome in my posts.

  • I tried with all three of my kids . My oldest never latched after lots and lots of help from my midwife and lactation consultants she just hated it. I also never really got my milk supply to come in maybe due to complications after her birth who knows . With my second I got her to latch just fine but once my supply it hurt soooooo bad and my daughter started to bite so I started to lose it , what sent me over the edge was when she started to projectile vomit . Turned out she had a milk protein allergy so she was put on soy formula a little over a week after she was born. With my third my son he was super lazy and would take forever to latch . Even when he was latched properly it was extremely painful . I have had three natural labors and delivers and breast feeding for me was much much more painful . I just couldn't keep it up with him. I recently had a talk with my mom who said at her last mammogram they tolled her she had allot if tissue that made it more painful for her then most women to get the procedure done she couldn't where a bra for a month . I'm thinking maybe I have something similar that makes bf so painful . With this baby ill try agian but I'm not holding out hope it will be different plus there is no way I can sit there balling my eyes out in pain trying to nurse while I'm also trying to take care of my five year old , three year old and will be 18 month old .
  • I had zero intent of BFing DS.  For personal reasons the thought of BFing made me very uncomfortable but I found when my son was born my instincts took over and it was natural and something as a mother I enjoyed to help bond. I only could go 2 months though due to medical reasons.

    I don't judge anyone who does or doesn't BF. I just envy all those mothers who can BF long term for financial reasons ;). I hated having to buy formula (and DS has to have a special kind which sucked)

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I have psychological issues that might preclude me from BF.  I've been working with my therapist to try to overcome it.  I want to at least try but I'm afraid it might turn into a traumatic experience for both of us.  I am, however, comitted to pumping which I know is more difficult and time consuming.  But I'm willing to make the sacrfrice it if I can't BF.  I feel it's for the greater good.  If, however, I can't even pump, I won't beat myself up if I switch to FF. 
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