Attachment Parenting

Opinions needed from bedsharers

Hello, this is my first time posting on this board but I have read a lot of good advice on here. We currently bedshare with my 7 month old daughter and have no plans to transition her to her crib in the near future since it's working well for us. My husband and I are considering taking a vacation this summer, without the baby, to celebrate our anniversary. My daughter would be staying with my mom. She will have just turned a year old then. It would just be the two of them sharing the bed, and my mom feels comfortable with it (she bedshared with me and my brother, but that was over 30 years ago.) Would you feel comfortable with this? I am going back and forth, and I am having a hard time committing to vacation plans due to my anxiety, so your opinions are appreciated. Thanks.

Re: Opinions needed from bedsharers

  • At a year, I would be comfortable with it. A toddler is able to defend her space in a way a newborn can't. You would not accidentally roll onto a one year old without noticing.

    Or by then, you may have changed things. What works is a moving target, and it's really hard to say what you'll be doing 5 months from now.

  • image tokenhoser:
    At a year, I would be comfortable with it. A toddler is able to defend her space in a way a newborn can't. You would not accidentally roll onto a one year old without noticing.Or by then, you may have changed things. What works is a moving target, and it's really hard to say what you'll be doing 5 months from now.

    This as long as your mom isn't a drinker or smoker. My mom smoked until two years ago so before then it would have been a no way.
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  • If she's in a queen bed, (or anything larger than a twin, I guess) I wouldn't worry at all.

    Ditto pps, as a toddler, she's probably going to be the more agressive sleeper in the situation.

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  • My mom bedshares with my 2 year old when she sleeps over, because we still bedshare at home with her as well. She started sleeping over there when she was about 14 months, but the only reason for that is because I chose to still nurse her a bit at night until then. I wouldn't be concerned about it as long as the bed is large enough for the both of them and she knows how to do this safely (no pillows, use a bedrail, etc). 
  • Ditto PP.  My only concern would be falling off the bed, so make sure she sets it up to prevent that.  Otherwise, I wouldn't worry at all at that age, especially with Grandma.  Since she did it with you guys, I'd think she would be a lighter sleeper to begin with.
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