Pregnant after 35

Age influencing number of kids?

Do you think your age will influence how many kids you will have?

Our DDs are 4 years apart and ideally I would like another LO 3 or 4 years from now. I just like the age difference.

My pregnancy with DD1 was uneventful. My pregnancy with DD2 was uneventful until our 20 week US. After that there were a number of scares, genetic issues, IUGR, possible viral issues, low fluid, GD...

In the end DD is perfect and there aren't any problems. We did have to deliver a little early, 38.6, as her fluid levels dipped too low. The dr said their actually wasn't ANY fluid when he pulled her out, that the sac was Saran wrapped to her head.

I really want one more. I'm afraid that I am being selfish though and that given all the complications of this last pregnancy that I should be happy with the two perfect girls I do have.

I know complications tend to increase with age. Does anyone else feel this might affect how many kids they have?

Edit. I am 36 and would want one more at 39 or 40
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Lilypie - (kxiS)
Lilypie - (BG2d)

Re: Age influencing number of kids?

  • I'm 38 and having my first. Ideally, I want to have a boy and a girl. But I don't think we can financially really handle more than 2 kids, so we'll get what we get. I will probably try very soon to get pregnant again (although I cringe to think about it, since this pregnancy has just been so mahvelous already) because my only age concern is being able to get and stay pregnant through the first trimester-- not any of the complications that come with being older.

    That said, I'm also not keen on pushing my luck and trying to have a kid at 42. I'm exhausted as it is and I shudder to think what having a 2nd child in another 4 years would do to my endurance. It will be tough enough with 2 under 2...
    *********************************************************************************************

    "You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was." 
            -- Abraham Lincoln
     

                               Me:39  MH:39 
    TTC #2. DD born 6/1/2013 after 15 months of TTC with one loss.                         

  • I am 37 and expecting no 1, we consider ourselves very lucky that only took 2 cycles to get pregnant and I was able to pass the first and second tri without any scare or complications. I had a miscarriage at age 34 and that was a welcomed unplanned pregnancy so I had a lot of fear when we decided TTC. We want 2, more than that is both financially and physically too much for us to handle, and as Daniel mentioned I cringe thinking about getting pregnant and going thru the whole thing again, but we would rather have them closer together than spread apart.
  • We probably would have considered a 3rd if we were a bit younger. I'll be 39 when this one is born and wouldn't want less than a 2 year age difference.  Considering the struggles we've had getting pregnant the 1st 2 times, TTC at 41 or 42 is not something I would choose.  
    Me: 38, PCOS/ DH: 37

    DD born 12.21.09, conceived w/ injects and IUI



    TTC#2 since Nov 2011

    BFP 2.6.12 m/c 6w5d | BFP 5.25.12 c/p

    -Back to the RE-

    3 medicated IUIs, all BFN

    -Taking a break from treatment-

    BFP 11.20.12 ~ EDD 7.28.13

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  • Ahhh, well the best laid plans often go astray....I should have been having my first at 39, but that didn't work out, and then I thought I'd have my first at 40 and that didn't work out, so now I'm having my first at 40.5. We'd like to have 2 children, so we'll be trying as quickly as possible, so my age will not influence how many I have but it will affect how quickly I'll start trying for #2. If I'm lucky enough to have another pregnancy I don't think I'll think twice about my age at that point, I'll just feel really really blessed.
    nate and teddy
    Me 41 DH 46  Not actively ttc, surprise BFP on 1/6/11! 4/1/11 m/c our sunshine at 16wks after complications from CVS test. TTC #2 **5th cycle 12/6/11 BFP! Missed m/c at 9 weeks 1/21/12, trisomy 14. Two Chemical PG 3/12&7/12
    ** BFP 8/16/12 beta #1 148! beta#2 407 beta #3 4000 u/s 9.10 1 lovely hb 126, Baby Boy is due 04/28/13!!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • I don't think my age is influencing the number of kids but definitely how close in age they will be.  Ideally we would like 2.  I'm not sure when I want to ttc again but it will be before she is a year.  I would probably wait longer if I wasn't pushing 40 and already had my loss history. 
    TTC since Dec. 2010. Me: 37, DH: 38...unexplained RPL
    BFP #1 - missed m/c 4.18.11 found @8w3d, d&c @13w 
    BFP #2 blighted ovum found 8.2011 @8w, misoprostol
    BFP#3 - missed m/c 6.11.12 @ 9w3d, d&c revealed extra chromosome 15
    BFP#4 8.10.12, DD born 4/26/13
  • Definitely.  I'll be 36 when our first is born this summer.  We plan on trying again immediately so I'm hoping to have the 2nd at 37.  I just feel like we're running out of time and I don't want to risk not being able to have a 2nd by waiting.  It took a while to get pregnant the first time and who knows if or how long it will take again.  I would wait longer and have more if I was about a decade younger but life never seems to go as planned.
  • I would like more than one, but here I am at 42, will be 43 when this LO is born, my first. I will probably try and get pregnant as soon as possible after this one, but if it doesn't work, we feel lucky that we have the one. I was not one to think that I would be having kids at 40, then 41, then 42...now 45 seems like the limit to me. Perspective changes. If I were you, and you for sure want another one, I wouldn't wait until 40 to try again. If you are happy with the two no matter what happens, then you can try and space them as you wish.  
    image




    TTC 10/11. HSG 2/12 normal. DH's SA low normal count. IUI 2/12. BFP 3/8/12. 4/26/12 missed mc. RE consult 5/17/12. IVF #1 ER 7/13/12 53R, 41M ICSIed, 32F, 8 5d, 6 6d blasts - all PGD/frozen. PGD results 1 normal M and 1 normal F, 1 maybe M. FET 9/6, transferred 1 F embie. Beta 9/15 BFN. FET#2 planned for 11/2012 put off until 2013. Surprise BFP 11/21/12!! My son was born on 7/24/13!

  • I have had a very smooth pregnancy, but I will be 42 and DH 45 when I deliver, and I hesitate when I think about another one. I am good friends with a couple who are now 63 and 64, and I recently asked them if they could imagine having a 21 year-old right now. They just sort of laughed and looked at each other and said, "Well, not really." We may well be one and done, and yes, that is in part due to how old we are. Frankly, I feel lucky to even be having the one after all the IF stories I have read.
    image
    Over-40 parents...what we lack in vigor, we make up for with cunning.
  • dhreczuck and ShellBear+, it looks like we all three may be pregnant together again! Wouldn't that be something?!  Big Smile
    *********************************************************************************************

    "You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was." 
            -- Abraham Lincoln
     

                               Me:39  MH:39 
    TTC #2. DD born 6/1/2013 after 15 months of TTC with one loss.                         

  • image danieleandwayne:
    dhreczuck and ShellBear+, it looks like we all three may be pregnant together again! Wouldn't that be something?!  Big Smile

    That would be something! Fingers crossed! My head is already spinning a little at the thought of fitting in ttc with an infant, but I know DH is game, we'll see what happens!

    nate and teddy
    Me 41 DH 46  Not actively ttc, surprise BFP on 1/6/11! 4/1/11 m/c our sunshine at 16wks after complications from CVS test. TTC #2 **5th cycle 12/6/11 BFP! Missed m/c at 9 weeks 1/21/12, trisomy 14. Two Chemical PG 3/12&7/12
    ** BFP 8/16/12 beta #1 148! beta#2 407 beta #3 4000 u/s 9.10 1 lovely hb 126, Baby Boy is due 04/28/13!!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • image dhreczuck:

    image danieleandwayne:
    dhreczuck and ShellBear+, it looks like we all three may be pregnant together again! Wouldn't that be something?!  Big Smile

    That would be something! Fingers crossed! My head is already spinning a little at the thought of fitting in ttc with an infant, but I know DH is game, we'll see what happens!



    Haha yeah that would be awesome. I am already scared at the thought of 2u2 and I don't even have one yet!
    TTC since Dec. 2010. Me: 37, DH: 38...unexplained RPL
    BFP #1 - missed m/c 4.18.11 found @8w3d, d&c @13w 
    BFP #2 blighted ovum found 8.2011 @8w, misoprostol
    BFP#3 - missed m/c 6.11.12 @ 9w3d, d&c revealed extra chromosome 15
    BFP#4 8.10.12, DD born 4/26/13
  • image dhreczuck:

    image danieleandwayne:
    dhreczuck and ShellBear+, it looks like we all three may be pregnant together again! Wouldn't that be something?!  Big Smile

    That would be something! Fingers crossed! My head is already spinning a little at the thought of fitting in ttc with an infant, but I know DH is game, we'll see what happens!



    Haha yeah that would be awesome. I am already scared at the thought of 2u2 and I don't even have one yet!
    TTC since Dec. 2010. Me: 37, DH: 38...unexplained RPL
    BFP #1 - missed m/c 4.18.11 found @8w3d, d&c @13w 
    BFP #2 blighted ovum found 8.2011 @8w, misoprostol
    BFP#3 - missed m/c 6.11.12 @ 9w3d, d&c revealed extra chromosome 15
    BFP#4 8.10.12, DD born 4/26/13
  • When we got married DH said 2, I said 4, and we settled on 3. After #2 I told DH that my pregnancies had gone so well that it made me think we could sneak a 4th in before we were 40.  He said why not? I would love to have 4, but I worry about having enough money and being an older mom.  Likewise, as an older mom I always worry about genetic issues. So I guess I'll say yes, age is influencing the number of kids we're having, or at least the thoughts we're having about how many we should have. 
  • image greengirl0909:
    When we got married DH said 2, I said 4, and we settled on 3. After 2 I told DH that my pregnancies had gone so well that it made me think we could sneak a 4th in before we were 40. nbsp;He said why not? I would love to have 4, but I worry about having enough money and being an older mom. nbsp;Likewise, as an older mom I always worry about genetic issues. So I guess I'll say yes, age is influencing the number of kids we're having, or at least the thoughts we're having about how many we should have.nbsp;

    That's funny, I said 4 and DH said 2, so we settled on 3 as well. Although, DH would be happy if we were done now.
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    Lilypie - (kxiS)
    Lilypie - (BG2d)
  • Age is definitely influencing number of kids. DH is 36 and I am 37. I am due in 3 weeks and even though this pregnancy has been a healthy one regarding the baby, it's been miserable for me with all the horrible symptoms. I'm ready to meet our LO but because we never planned on having children we are one and done. We consider this one our unplanned little blessing and we already know we are glad to have him introduced into our little two person world after 17 years of marriage.

    But we're already looking at how old we will be when he is 18 and ready for college and by that time we will be in our mid fifties. We've determined we will certainly want our "lives back" before we are too old to enjoy it. LOL If this had happened 10 years ago, we may have actually considered having one more...maybe.

  • I'm 39 and going to be 40 when I deliver. This is my first pregnancy. Maybe it's because I live in Manhattan where there are so many moms in their 40's, but I don't think it's a big deal to have kids in your 40's. Sure, statistically there are more risks but the reality is that a majority of children and pregnancies involving "advanced maternal age" mothers are normal as can be.

    BabyFruit Ticker image
  • I was 36 when I had my first, and I am 38 (almost 39) now with this one.  If I were younger, I probably would have spaced them out a little more (they will be 2.5 years and I probably would have gone for something like 3 years apart).  If I had had them in my 20s, would I have gone for a third?  Hard to say.  Perspectives change as PP said, and while I know I'll be happy with 2, as they get older it's possible I might have wanted another were I younger.  

    You just never know if you will be one of those people who hits menopause early, or has other fertility problems as you get older.  If I were you, I would not wait until I was 39 or 40 to try for the next one, unless you would be happy with the 2 you have.  If you absolutely have to have the third one, I wouldn't wait past 37 or 38 to start trying for it. 

    Me - 38 DH - 38 DD - 2 pregnancy
  • Age is definately influencing it for me. I am a little different though. This is my 4th. Its my Fiance's first and its a little hard for him to understand that I am not doing this again. He is younger then I am and I am just not willing to keep on going. I am going to be 37 in a few mths and I just have no desire to be pregnant again. I have an 18yr age gap between my oldest and youngest. I am tired and so is my body.

    Proud 36yr old Mama of 4
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Well strangely I always wanted zero or two.  And the minute we had DS I knew I still wanted a second. So at 38 we had LO #1 and we will be 40 when LO #2 is born.  I never thought I would be this old haveing kids but at the same time I was not ready when I was younger so here we are and loving it!  So excited to make it safely through the 1st trimester to start sharing our news!
    Me - 39 DH - 39 DS - 1 Due Date - 10-20-13
  • I was 34 when I had my first son last summer but I would have been 35 if he hadn't been early.  I also had low fluid levels.  Fortunately, he was healthy, just small and came home after only two weeks in the NICU.  My actual pregnancy had been trouble free but I did have a pretty severe bout of pneumonia and was getting sick again when he was born. 

    If we were younger (my husband will be 43 in March) I think we'd consider more but we're already struggling to figure out how to afford two as close together as I want.  We'd originally thought they'd be farther apart but with our ages and the fact that I'm now considered high risk for something other than my age, it seems foolish to wait. 

  • After 2 years of TTC, I am finally having my 1st at 37. I would have loved 4 kids if I had met my husband at a younger age, but at this stage we are looking at 2 with about a year between birth and conception (all going well). 

    I would possibly go for a 3rd beyond 40 myself, but hubby's age is more of our barrier than mine. He will be 48 when this LO is born and nearly 50 if we manage to conceive a 2nd soon after. He's VERY young at heart, and most people pick him at 40 tops visually, but the reality of his age and how he will cope with 2 x LOs at 50 is something we have to consider.  

    TTC Since March 2010 - 2 angel babies - BFP December 12 EDD 12 Aug 13 Lilypie Maternity tickers Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • Age is definitely one factor influencing our decision to possibly be one and done.  I had an awful pregnancy.  Hyperemesis (i.e. horrible morning sickness almost the entire time). 

    I can't imagine going through that again with a toddler in tow and two busy careers.  If we had more time I think I might change my mind and go for #2, but I'm 38 now and DH is 41.  My cut off age is 39 to TTC, for personal reasons. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • We tried for three years just to get #1 who we are expecting in just a few weeks. I will be 42 on April 5th and DH is almost 44 - so she is going to be an only child!
    April PAL Siggy Challenge - Words to Live By
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    TTC Since June 2009 
    BFP #1 - 1/15/12, EDD 9/21/12, Missed M/C - 2/10/12 - I miss you Sapphire!

    BFP #2 - 7/1/12 - Met my lucky charm Alexandra on 3-16-13!!!


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    AL always welcome! 

  • I think age was one of the deciding factors for us, but mainly I don't think I could handle more than two kids.
  • For me, it's more the spacing apart that would be influencing my kids at this point.  I had always wanted at least 2 children with a preference for 3.  I'm going to still try for that goal.  I'm now 36 and expecting my first child in about 5 weeks.  I wanted to originally have a 2-3 year spacing but now since I began my family at a later age than I anticipated, the spacing will be much closer.  We will TTC  by the end of this year when the baby is about 8 months.  It may take awhile and I rather begin early since I'll be almost 37 should we be blessed once again.  Hopefully if I try for baby # 3 and last baby, I'll be closer to 38 at that time.  Oh boy, that does seem like a lot work now that I look at but I would love to complete my family before it's too late since my clock is ticking.   

     

  • I'll be 38 right after this one is born.  If it didn't take so long to conceive #1 and #2, we would have probably had 3 or 4.  So yes, age is playing a big part on how many kids we will have.  =(
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  • I got pregnant a month before turning 35. This is our first.

    Do I think age influences the number of kids I want to have? Yes and No. When I was younger I imagined myself with 3. Now I only want 2. However, my age IS impacting my decision on when I should get pregnant with my second. I already have it all planned out LOL!

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