Success after IF

I quit

Well unfortunately I ended up in the ER last night with a kidney infection. I'm allergic to cillin drugs so the antibiotic they put me on would require me to pump and dump for 10 days then I could resume pumping for LO. I'm just so tired and feel like I've been hit by a bus. I hate to admit it, but I just can't do it. Even when I pump I only get 1.25oz total and I just can't keep it up. I feel guilty that LO only got BM for 2.5 weeks but I think it's going to be better for all of us. Here's to hoping my body will now start to cooperate and stop revolting against me!
~ Me, 30 DH, 32 ~ TTC since Oct 2009 septum resection 3/2010 stage IV endo 8/2011 IVF #1 1/25/12, 2 transferred, 2 frozen - BFN FET 2/22/12, 2 transferred - BFN IVF#2 5/12, transferred 3, froze 5, BFP! Beta 1: 151, Beta 2: 282 Cerclage placed @ 17 weeks due to shortening cervix, modified bed rest until delivery SAIF/PAIF always welcome image It's a girl! ~ Clare was born 1/31/13

Re: I quit

  • Huge hugs hon.  You have been through a lot.  Go easy on yourself.  You need to do what is best for you and for your family.  Feel better soon.
    TTC with PCOS since November 2009
    IUI#1 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP, m/c
    IUI#2 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 5-9) = BFN
    IUI#3 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP!
    beta #1 11/23 = 270, P4 = 75
    beta #2 11/28 = 2055
    Our daughter E was born 7/29/2012!
    Surprise, our 2nd daughter P was born 5/22/14 
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  • You gave LO what you could and that is wonderful. Don't beat yourself up about, as you said, the best thing for LO is a happy and healthy mom! Hope you feel better soon.

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    IF/Baby Blog
    2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!
    TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP!
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    I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
  • At least you got two and a half weeks! Get better soon!
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  • You did what you could do and that is fantastic.  Don't be too hard on yourself.  In order to take care of baby you have to take care of yourself as well!  
    *My Loves, My Life, My Littles*

    02/18/11, 05/24/12 and 12/03/13



  • Two and a half weeks is great. Be proud of that accomplishment! At the end of the day, you need to be the best mom you can be and being healthy and happy is a big part of that!  Hoping you feel better soon!!
    Three TI cycles (BFP...miscarriage), five IUI attempts and 2.5 IVF cycles later...BFP!!
    12dp5dt: 765; 15dp5dt: 1979; 17dp5dt: 3379...TWINS!!!!!
    Our perfect baby boys were born at 36w1d!! 








  • Poor mommy.  You made it longer at 2.5 weeks than many people would with early supply issues!  Your LO got a healthy dose of antibodies from you already, so just try to make peace with your decision and enjoy spending the time with your LO and don't worry about it. 

    I know some militant BF people like to stress how great BF is over formula, but the truth is that the only conclusive studies (as opposed to poorly-designed or unscientific opinions) show that, at most, EBF babies get one less cold in their first year and maybe possibly have a couple of extra IQ points early on, but not enough to make a difference in later achievement.  Believe me, I felt such guilt over not being able to BF that I looked into it extensively.

    Your baby will be happy and healthy if YOU are happy and healthy!

    Always missing my Mommy (1954-2010) and Daddy (1943-2012)
    TTC since 2009 ; BFP 9/13/10 = MC 10/21/10
    DX = DOR/POA (AMH=1.1; AFC=4-5)
    Surprise BFP 8/31/11 while waiting to cycle for IVF
    Welcomed our little miracle 5/7/12
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  • Take good care of you and try not to feel guilty. My SIL once told me you can't feel guilty when you're doing your best. It's easier said than done I know, but I think it's true. 

    Hoping you get well soon! 

    TTC#1 since oct 2009, DOR
    IUI #1-3 (jan-mar 2011), all BFN 
    IVF #1 oct 2011, BFN      
    IVF #2: dec 2011, BFFN
    FET #1: feb 8, 2012, BFP!!!  chibaby born october 29, 2012!

    TTC #2
    FET #2  sept 5, 2013-BFFN
    new RE
    IVF #3    feb 2014-BFFN again...
    Headed to CCRM 
    Prepping for IVF #4 oct 2014 

    image



  • Formula is not the devil.  I put myself through so much H**L for two months (basically, my entire maternity leave) trying to pump.  I wish I would have thrown in the towel sooner and enjoyed my time with my LO instead of torturing myself. 

    IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
    2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
    BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
    Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
    BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

    May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
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  • So sorry about your kidney infection. You need to do what is best for your health and sanity. Formula is a good alternative, and it is wonderful that it is an option. Hugs and hope you feel better. 
    TTC Since 3/2010
    Me-34, Unexplained Infertility, DH-33, all clear
    Clomid 50mg 12/2011 = BFN
    Clomid 100mg 1/2012 = BFN, with Cyst
    IVF #1 Lupron/Menopur/Gonal-f/HCG Trigger
    ER 4/19/12 = 11 retrieved, 6 fertilized,
    ET 4/22/12 = 2 transfered (day 3), remaining 3 weren't good enough to freeze
    Beta 5/3 = BFP, 87 Beta #2 5/7 560.9 Beta #3 5/9 1376.5 First u/s One Baby, 125bpm!

    Second u/s, 176bmp! Kicked over to the OB by the RE at 8w. Anatomy Scan at 19w looks great!
    Team Green!!

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    Baby girl J arrived two weeks early! Born into water, med-free. Hooray for Team Pink!
  • I'm glad you found peace. My OB told me that what makes you a good mom is not how you feed your child but being relaxed and positive is what makes you a good mom. Glad you found a less stressful way, it'll help.
    Diagonsed PCOS TTC since May 2009
    First M/C December 2010 Second M/C August 2011
    Oct 2011~Second round clomid 50 mg; BFN
    Nov 2011~Third round clomid 50 mg: BFP
    Dec 11- Beta #1 91;Dec 13- Beta #2 186.2
    Dec 27- third miscarriage
    May 25th- Beta #1 369;May 27th- Beta #2 798
    Baby girl born Jan 23, 9lbs 3oz, 21 1/2" long
    May 27th-Beta #1 80; May 29th- Beta #2 304; May 31st- Beta #3 860
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  • Just so you know I have a genius iq and I was formula fed. My nephew was bf and has allergies and is constantly sick. I don't think bfing is everything they try to convince you it is. If you do it, great. If you don't you aren't harming your kid no matter what people say.
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  • image ELF4321:

    I know some militant BF people like to stress how great BF is over formula, but the truth is that the only conclusive studies (as opposed to poorly-designed or unscientific opinions) show that, at most, EBF babies get one less cold in their first year and maybe possibly have a couple of extra IQ points early on, but not enough to make a difference in later achievement.  Believe me, I felt such guilt over not being able to BF that I looked into it extensively.

    Your baby will be happy and healthy if YOU are happy and healthy!

    Thank you for posting this info. It makes me so mad when I think about it how many people (medical professionals even) made it seem like Mothers who don't breast feed are somehow bad Mothers regardless of the obstacles in their way.
    IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
    2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
    BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
    Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
    BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

    May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
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  • Your LO will be better off with a healthy, happy mommy! Take care of yourself, hon. (((((hugehugs)))))
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    Unexplained Infertility

    After two Clomid cycles, three injectable IUI cycles, two IVFs, two miscarriages, and one lap surgery, IVF #2 has brought us our little boy!

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    TTC #2
    After months of being postponed or cancelled, FET #1.3 (Natural FET) brought us twin girls!

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  • Don't be so hard on yourself! You're doing what's best for you and your LO. Hope you are feeling better soon!

    ___________________________________________________________________________

    Trying for #1 since May 2010   l   DX ~ Unexplained Infertility June 2011

    IUI #1&2 = BFN; IUI #3 = BFP, m/c @ 6 weeks

    November '11 ~ IVF#1 ~ ER 11/18 (29R, 17F) ~ 5dt of one beautiful blast on 11/23 = BFP!!

    Beta #1 9dp5dt = 116, P4 = 28 ~ Beta #2 13dp5dt = 700 ~ Beta #3 20dp5dt = 9500, P4 = 26

    1st u/s 12/27 - hb of 156!! EDD 8.10.12 :)   **TEAM GREEN!**

    Sweet baby boy born 8.18.12

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    Trying for #2

    FET #1 - October '13 - c/p   l   FET #2 - December '13 - cancelled :(   l   FET #2.2 - 1.30.14 - BFN

    ~ More testing - hysteroscopy, endometrial biopsy & more b/w - all normal / negative~

    Surprise BFP while waiting on FET #3 ~ beta #1 500; beta #2 1600; first u/s 4/3 - measuring 5w5d, no hb yet!; 2nd u/s 4/10 - hb 132, measuring 6w6d - EDD 11.29.14 :)    **TEAM GREEN!**

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  • Get well soon!
    TTC since 10/2008  RE consult 6/2010 Dx:Unexplaied IF

    Failed multiple cycles of Clomid+TI and Clomid+IUI

    3/2011 inj+IUI #1 BFP. 4/2011 missed m/c. 

    Fall 2011 inj+IUI #2&3 BFN

    Jan/Feb 2012 IVF#1 BFP 2/23  EDD 10/31/2012 ~~~ Halloween ~~~

    Our IVF miracle, Baby Boy M, arrived on 11/8/2012!
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  • I was hospitalized with severe, drug resistant mastitis at 11 days post partum. I finally, finally allowed myself to give up on BF when LO was 3 weeks old. It was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made, but I had tried 7 different antibiotics and was still sick. You reach a point where you have to take care of yourself that you can care for your LO. Be gentle with yourself, and feel better soon. 

    Also, antihistamines are good for drying you up. Cabbage leaves really do work, too. It's not an old wives tale.

     

    DX: Severe MFI 
    IVF # 1 ~ Antagonist ~ ER 1/27/11~ ET 1/30/11 ~ + HPT 7dp3dt 
    DD born med-free on 10/24/11 
    Lilypie - (lZjk)
    IVF # 2 ~Antagonist ~ ER 6/5/13 ~ ET 6/10/13 ~ + HPT 4dp5dt 
    Lilypie - (OUlo)

  • You know what...thats totally ok!!  You have to do what is best for not only your baby but yourself and if this will help you then that is what is best.  2.5 weeks of BM is great but don't feel guilty for not being able to BF anymore.  I hope you start to feel better soon!
    Trying To Conceive since November 2009
    Dx: PCOS and MFI
    IUI#1-4 all BFN
    IVF#1 January (4R, 4M, 1F) BFP
    Colt was born on 10/27 at 11:50pm. 6lbs and 19 1/4"
    Surpise! Baby #2 is on it's way.  EDD 9.18.14

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  • Thanks for all the support ladies! I truly don't know what I would do without you. From IF through pregnancy and beyond, it's great to be able to reach out!
    ~ Me, 30 DH, 32 ~ TTC since Oct 2009 septum resection 3/2010 stage IV endo 8/2011 IVF #1 1/25/12, 2 transferred, 2 frozen - BFN FET 2/22/12, 2 transferred - BFN IVF#2 5/12, transferred 3, froze 5, BFP! Beta 1: 151, Beta 2: 282 Cerclage placed @ 17 weeks due to shortening cervix, modified bed rest until delivery SAIF/PAIF always welcome image It's a girl! ~ Clare was born 1/31/13
  • I too had to quit and still struggle with feeling guilty.  I had to quit BFing at 1 week and had to give up pumping just this last weekend.  Someone posted this article on TB somewhere last week and it's helped me not feel so bad.

    http://www.redbookmag.com/kids-family/advice/is-it-ok-to-stop-breastfeeding

    You have to do what is best for you and your family.  I know me stopping nursing and pumping is what was best for us.  We are all happier and in a much better place because of it.

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    FET #1 January 2014 - Loss at 9w5d
    FET #2 July 2014 - BFN

    No snow babies left.  We are officially one and done. 
  • Oh Whales! Please don't be hard on yourself. As long as you remain a caring, compassionate and contentious mom, your LO will thrive!

    No one has ever said of great people "they were formula fed" or "you know he was born via c-section". Seriously in the grand scheme of things it is your parenting style that will shape their future, not the milk they got or by what method they were born and especially not by what kind of diaper they wore Stick out tongue

    Huge (((hugs))) to you! Let it go, take a deep breathe and kiss your LO - you are only being hard on yourself b/c you care so much. I hope you feel better soon!!

    Me: 37 DH: 40 TTC since 9/09
    #1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
    IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
    #1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
    #1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
    The Muppet was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
    #2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
    Two empty sacs at 6w but twins at 7w! baby A hb 128 baby B hb 131
    Team blue!

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  • I had to pump and dump for 2 weeks also, it was awful.  I didn't know if she would latch afterward again, or if I would make enough milk with pumping.  I tried it though and she latched back on after my two weeks was up.  I'm surely not trying to guilt you in any way, just saying that it can work if you want it to.  Part of me wishes I had just switched to formula and not dealt with it, but I figured what was the worst that would happen if I tried it.

    TTC #1, 5 yrs, PCOS, Femera + Ovidrel.

    IUI#3 BFP, DD 5/31/2012

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    TTC #2, 2 yrs, PCOS, Femera+Ovidrel

    IUI#2 BFP!

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  • Oh Whales! Don't beat yourself up. Honestly, I would stop BF if I were in your shoes. You gave it your best shot, and that is what really matters!

     

    TTC#1: 4/2010 - Me: 31 DH: 31 – unexplained
    9 medicated/monitored cycles = BFN | IVF 1.2 = BFP!!
    Beta#1: 162 | Beta#2: 535 | Beta#3: 2,445 | Beta#4: >9,000!

    Sophie Joy was born 2/10/2013


    TTC#2: 2/2014 - pre-testing completed to prepare for FET#1. Surprise BFP the cycle before FET!!
    Beta#1: 301 | Beta#2: 612 | Beta#3: 3,200 | Beta#4: >11,000!
     

    Praying for my sister, RunCC37, to have her own miracle!

     

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  • Good for you. Taking care of you is what your LO needs. A healthy mama is a better mama. Hang in there and get well.

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