okay so I said my mom wants to throw me a shower, and I'm gonna go along with it, tell her to keep it really small and just close family/friends. I'd like to have a bigger meet the babies party were co-workers, family friends, etc can come meet them in the summer time, a big co-ed bbq type thing. Is that tacky to have both, especially because the boys will be at both? What if I say gifts not necessary? Should I say no gifts, or gifts not necessary?