Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Baby's sleeping arrangements

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I am 5 weeks pregnant, and was talking to my in laws about a nursery. They told me to not even bother with a crib. I was like uh why would I not bother buying the most important piece of furniture? They said because the baby will not sleep in it, they will end up sleeping with you every single night. My BIL even said he sleeps on the couch because he's afraid he will roll over on the baby.

Um, what the crap?? Are any of you new parents experiencing this? Personally, I would be scared to death to sleep with my baby! Maybe put them in a bassonet (sp?) the first few weeks but eventually definitely they will sleep in a crib I hope!

I am hoping that the reason behind their babies (Well, one set of BIL and SIL have a 2 year old and a new born, the other set has a 1 year old) sleeping with them is because they spoil them, but having no parenting experience I have no idea. Is this common? It seems irresponsible to me, but then again maybe I'm just new and don't know.

 My sister has a 2 year old who has slept in her crib since the beginning. So obviously it can be done.

 What are your thoughts???

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Re: Baby's sleeping arrangements

  • Currently, DS sleeps in his PnP next to our bed most of the night bc it's easier for night time feedings (he's ebf.) however, he starts getting really noisy at about 6am (to the point that neither of us can sleep.) so we bring him in bed next to me for the last hour or so of sleep so we can all be rested.  I thought the same as you previously, but in the end of it all it comes down to survival and we all do things we swore we never would.  

     All of that being said, def get the crib.  You'll want it later if not right away.  I went with the PnP for right away bc I knew that I'd use it later on if I didn't right away. 

    Hope that helps!  

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  • Both babies slept in bed with me. It's really NBD if done right. It allows us to get the maximum amount of sleep too. I know it doesn't work for everybody. However, when your newborn will not sleep anywhere but with you you'll probably cave. Since everyone getting sleep is important. We still used the crib though. DD transitioned into the crib on her own at 7 months. She then slept in her crib in my room until she was a year old. That is when she got her own room/nursery. She is still sleeping in her crib at 2.5 years old. For DS we will do the same. Cosleep until they transition on their own into the crib. Then sleep in the same room until 12-13 months of age.
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  • image MrsAndreaBerns:

    Currently, DS sleeps in his PnP next to our bed most of the night bc it's easier for night time feedings (he's ebf.) however, he starts getting really noisy at about 6am (to the point that neither of us can sleep.) so we bring him in bed next to me for the last hour or so of sleep so we can all be rested.  I thought the same as you previously, but in the end of it all it comes down to survival and we all do things we swore we never would.  

     All of that being said, def get the crib.  You'll want it later if not right away.  I went with the PnP for right away bc I knew that I'd use it later on if I didn't right away. 

    Hope that helps!  

    Thanks! I think my sister also ends up bringing my niece in with her at 6 or so when she wakes up. I am just so scared, my husband rolls over on top of me a lot and never wakes up, I always have to wake him up and tell him to get off lol. So baby will probably never get in bed with us while he is there. I don't move at all when I'm sleeping so not really worried about me.

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  • My LO sleeps in her crib and has since we got home from the hospital. But her nursery is literally 3 steps across the hall (she is also ebf) so I wasn't too worried about getting up for feelings. If its father away from your room I think something your LO can sleep in and still be close to you works perfectly! I know my SIL and brother who just had a baby keeps her in a bassinet in their room for night feelings. Hope that helps!

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  • DH did his residency in pediatrics and witnessed several deaths from babies sleeping with their parents, so he refuses to let our babies sleep in our bed. That said, I have slept with both of our kids in our guest bed on occasion, as I am much more aware if them than he is. DD transitioned to her crib at 2 mos, but I wish we had done it a few weeks earlier, as all of us slept better once we did it. I expect DS to transition to the crib at about a month, assuming he's no longer wanting to eat every 1.5 hrs at night. Get the crib.
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  • You should get a crib! I've nursed all of my kids, and because of that have kept them in my room at night for the first 6 months, but after that they most definitely used a crib! As much as I love my kids, I think learning to sleep in their own roomies good for everyone in the family!
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  • I would buy a crib, but...

    All babies are different. For example my daughter has to sleep in bed next to me. Also she rarely naps during the day longer than 15 minutes but sleeps all night with the exception of one feeding after 4 or 5 hours since two weeks. It's just how she is. Your baby may or may not sleep well away from you. I had a pack n play all set up in our room and no dice. Some sleep in swings etc. You have to find what works for YOUR baby. One way or the other doesn't mean they are spoiled, it just means they are sleeping. Bedsharing can be done safely. Mom should always be between dad and baby. You can research more. If you're not comfortable that's one thing, but the zomg you'll kill your baby! generalization is silly.



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  • i had never heard of sleeping prior to being preg...honestly i was partially offended when i got lip from a coworker when i said we're not planning on co sleeping. dd naps in her swing but sleeps in her crib in her room at night...since our first night home from the hospital. i've brought her into bed after dh has left in the morning so i could nurse in a side laying position and sleep. it never worked for either of us. every time she gets up i go in her room and nurse/diaper change/rock. i also ebf and its worked out fine.
  • DD sleeps in a RnP in the nursery now but she started out beside our bed. She rarely sleeps with us. Usually only in the morning if I am not ready to get up but she is a little fussy.
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  • In our house babies start out in our room (predominately in their own space.  We don't usually bed share) and then transition to their own space when they're older.  DS went to his crib at 7mo.  We'll see what happens with DD.  IMO there are several benefits to co-sleeping (having baby in the same room as you) to start.

    With that said, regardless of what you're planning to do, I would get a crib.  It's unlikely that you'll never use one.  I know people that start out bedsharing and only one family bypassed the crib entirely.

    I should also say that just because you plan on something (whether that be bedsharing or starting LO in their crib from day 1) that doesn't mean that's how it will work out once baby is actually here.  I know with DS I was planning on him staying in our room for about 6 weeks.  When we arrived there I wasn't ready for him to be in his own room yet so we waited until we felt like the time was right to move him.  You'll know what's right for you.

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  • We co-sleep with our 2 year old and we will with this baby when he comes as well. I can assure you there has been no loss of intimacy even with babies in our bed.

    When our LO are newborns I sleep with them in my arms or on my chest all night long and I wake up in the same position I go to sleep in.

  • She has slept in bed with me every night since she came home. We tried the PnP by the bed and it didn't work out. We both get more sleep this way. We didn't buy a crib, but she has a floor bed in her room. 

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  • DS has slept in his crib since day 1. It was a choice we made to put him there from the beginning because we didn't want to attempt cosleeping or having to transition later on from a bassinet to a crib down the road. There is nothing wrong with how everyone chooses to have their LOs sleeping arrangement, so for us the crib is working just fine. Personally, I think you should have one. Even if you cosleep or do a bassinet, you should move your LO to a crib eventually. 

    Mind you, our DS is only two weeks old, but it has been working for us. 

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  • My plan prior to delivery was for LO to sleep in his crib as soon as he came home from the hospital but due to new mommy hormones/nervousness I couldn't do it.  I felt like it would be lonely for him (kindof crazy, I know) sleeping in his room alone and I didn't want to get out of bed to nurse him in his room (pure laziness) as well as I felt better being able to look over and see him breathing and sleeping (new mommy nervousness) in the middle of the night.  So given the change in plans, we went out and bought a RnP and he slept next to my side of the bed until he was 6 weeks as that's when he started STTN.  By that point, the transition from our room in the RnP to his room/crib was smooth for both of us as he was on track with a schedule and I felt comfortable with the change. 

    Ultimately, follow your mommy instincts and do what feels right for you and your LO.  Just know, that plans you have today may change once your LO arrives.

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  • DD sleeps in a PNP beside our bed.  She is EBF and it is much easier on me.  I also have everything I need for a night time diaper change right there so I don't have to get out of bed at all.

    Often we will have her nap in her crib to try to make the transition easier down the road.  We plan on doing that somewhere between 3 and 6 month.

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  • I was convinced, while pregnant, that DS would sleep in his crib in his room from day 1. Nine weeks later, he's still in a Rock n Play next to my side of the bed. :P I like being able to wake up, reach an arm over, and check on him. We will transition to the crib probably when he starts STTN reliably, or when my mommy nervousness goes away... Whichever comes last!  I am absolutely against bed sharing because I do not feel it is a safe choice for our family (DH and I move around a lot in our sleep). If we decided to cosleep, we would purchase a cosleeper where he could still be in arms' reach, but out of danger from us rolling onto him.

    You'll need a crib eventually regardless of what you decide to do. If you want your baby to sleep in the crib from the get go, go for it and stick with it. I'd make sure you get a RnP for backup, though - a lot of babies don't like sleeping flat at first, and a RnP will save your sanity in that case. 

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  • My son naps in his crib during the day, and sleeps with us at night. It does not affect our sex life.  We either put him in his crib or do it during the day. nbd.  Research co-sleeping.  If done correctly, its very safe and a great bonding with your baby.  We sleep with my husband on the edge, me in the middle and baby on the other edge with a bed rail.  Mothers will not roll over baby, because they are much more aware of where baby is, whereas dad is not hormonally bonded to him like we are.
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  • She sleeps in a PnP most of the time but in our bed frequently. I would get a crib, you just might not use it right away.
  • There are definitely people who have their kids sleep with them, but MOST do not. It can be very dangerous. Not to mention, I don't see how anyone would get a good nights sleep with their kid with them. I have a couple friends who never could cut the cord and their kids still sleep with them... one is 6 years old. She's always complaining to me about how clingy her kids are and how she hasn't had a full night's sleep since before she had kids. Um, yeah no wonder. DH's sister slept in his mom's bed until she was like 13. Get a crib! Everyone will sleep better and you will avoid starting a very bad habit.
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  • I'd recommend getting a crib, but no, I don't think you need one. We do a combination of co-sleeping, bed sharing and using DD's crib. She gets put down in her crib and then I bring her to our room. Sometimes she'll fall asleep quickly and I'll put her in the co-sleeper beside my bed. Sometimes she's squirmy and whiny and because I know she'll fall right asleep next to me, I put her in bed with us. 

    I didn't intend to bed share, but I actually really love it. I love having my baby right next to me and waking up to her sweet face right there. She's also still a very frequent nurser, so having her so close to me at night ensures I can get as much sleep as possible (nursing side lying versus getting out of bed, going to her room, nursing and then going back to bed). I can honestly say that I've only had a few nights so far that I've slept poorly and a very few subsequent days of being very tired - I attribute that to having my baby in our room/bed. 

    If you did some research you'd find that bed sharing safely is absolutely possible and it is not done because parents are being irresponsible or are spoiling their babies. There are benefits to having your baby in bed with you, and there are also benefits to putting him/her into their own bed. You just have to do whatever it takes for your family to sleep as well as possible.

    Different things work for different families and I'd caution you against judging other families or insinuating that they may be doing something unsafe just because you don't know about it.

     


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  • If you are breast feeding and particularly if you have a needy or fussy baby, bed sharing is fabulous! I did it with my first two babies. My third is a great sleeper and doesn't nurse overnight so she sleeps in our room but not right in our bed, for now.

    That said, I still used the crib. Whe. They got older I'd put them in the crib for naps and to start out the night. They'd move into my bed as the night went on.

    Get a crib with a toddler bed conversion, so you'll be sure to use it no matter what!
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  • image MrsBigTime:

    I'd recommend getting a crib, but no, I don't think you need one. We do a combination of co-sleeping, bed sharing and using DD's crib. She gets put down in her crib and then I bring her to our room. Sometimes she'll fall asleep quickly and I'll put her in the co-sleeper beside my bed. Sometimes she's squirmy and whiny and because I know she'll fall right asleep next to me, I put her in bed with us. 

    I didn't intend to bed share, but I actually really love it. I love having my baby right next to me and waking up to her sweet face right there. She's also still a very frequent nurser, so having her so close to me at night ensures I can get as much sleep as possible (nursing side lying versus getting out of bed, going to her room, nursing and then going back to bed). I can honestly say that I've only had a few nights so far that I've slept poorly and a very few subsequent days of being very tired - I attribute that to having my baby in our room/bed. 

    If you did some research you'd find that bed sharing safely is absolutely possible and it is not done because parents are being irresponsible or are spoiling their babies. There are benefits to having your baby in bed with you, and there are also benefits to putting him/her into their own bed. You just have to do whatever it takes for your family to sleep as well as possible.

    Different things work for different families and I'd caution you against judging other families or insinuating that they may be doing something unsafe just because you don't know about it.

     

    That's why I got on here and asked about it, I even said maybe I am new at it and don't really know about it, which is absolutely correct, I have never done any of this before. There are a lot of articles about it, most of them said that a lot of experts are against it. I found this on an article:

    "The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) and the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommend against sharing a bed with a child under the age of 2, citing an increased risk of death from suffocation, SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome), strangulation, or another unexplained cause"

    It the proceeded to say that there are experts and cosleeping advocates that disagree, saying it is completely safe.

     The article also said you just have to do what is right for your child.

    Here's my beef against it. Yes, in most situations it is completely safe, nothing bad happens. But what about the times that it does happen? Im not saying I wont end up cosleeping, but it scares me to death. Im not judging anyone on here who does, my BILs and SILs actually do spoil their kids, which I will probably do as well lol. I didn't realize it was so common though. I hadn't really heard of it, but then again I've never really talked about it. I was appalled when I heard their babies never use the crib. But then again I am kinda young and haven't had many people close to me have babies yet, so I haven't talked to many people about it

     In my mind, and according to several experts, it is unsafe. I may end up doing it, who knows? And I know people are going to disagree with me, so I guess I will agree to disagree for now. That may all change when baby gets here! :D Thanks for the input though, I do feel a lot better about my nieces and nephews sleeping with their parents.

     

     

     

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  • I had it all planned out in my head while pregnant. LO would sleep in a bassinet in our room for the first 4 or 5 months, the transition into his crib. I also had a BEAUTIFUL handmade crib for him to use. 

    However, LO had other plans. He would wake up immediately after being placed in either so ended up bed sharing for the first few weeks, and napping in my arms during the day. One day I decided to try him in the crib and not only did he not wake up, he slept for four hours. 

    So now, we have moved into our guest room which is right beside LO's room. The lesson I've learned over and over since becoming pregnant and having my LO is that I'm not in control of ANYTHING. So I am prepared for anything.  

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  • My daughter sleeps in her pack and play next to my bed, like many others it is easier for breast feeding and peace of mind. I plan to do it until after 16 weeks when the greatest risk of SIDS is over. We have a crib as well in this little attached area to our room, but until I feel more comfortable re SIDS I want her right next to me. I often reach over at night to check her breathing and it makes me feel better knowing u can hear everything. She has done two big spit ups in her bed and didn't cry at all. If I hadn't been right there I would have found her in the am with spit up all crusted and curdled in her hair.
  • I have 3 kids and all of them bedshared with us for the first 6 months. When done safely it reduces SIDS and I think helps them become secure sleepers. All my kids were sleeping 10 hours straight by 10 weeks. Plus with breastfeeding it makes it super easy to nurse then go back to sleep. None of our babies had issues going in their cribs. Also the same reason you don't roll out of bed is the same reason you won't roll over your baby. And dads should never sleep next to the baby, it goes dad, mom, baby then bed rail.

    As for effecting your sex life, our kids are back to back. Thank goodness we don't have a boring sex life where we can only have sex in bed.
  • DD is 13 weeks old and we haven't bought a crib yet. Eventually she'll sleep in one, but it is not something you need to buy right away.

    Before DD was born I had planned on having her sleep in a cosleeper next to our bed for the first few months. Turns out she had other plans, and for the first couple weeks she would not sleep anywhere but directly on top of me or DH. She would scream hysterically whenever we tried to put her down.  So I let her sleep in our bed and DH went to sleep in the guestroom. At 10 weeks I tried to put her in the cosleeper again and she slept in it fine. I like having her so close, it really helps make the middle of the night feedings go a lot smoother. I can just pick her up from the cosleeper without getting out of bed, lay her down next to me to nurse and put her right back when she's done. I think we all get more sleep this way.

    I plan on keeping her in our bedroom until she sleeps through the night, then we'll see about buying a crib and putting her in her own room. 


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  • Most "experts" recommend at least room-sharing for the first few months, up to 6 months. I had every intention of having DD in her bassinet and was deadset against bed-sharing. That quickly went out the window. There are ways to safely do it. DD is almost 4 weeks old and I'm still a little uneasy about it but damn if I don't sleep better and so does she!

     

    http://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/ ;


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  • I think you'll need a crib eventually.  We kept DS in our bedroom in a bassinet until he was about 6 months.  Then we put him in his crib in his room.  However, when we was a little over a year, we started letting him sleep in our bed and he's still with us (at 3 years old).  Depends on what you want.  Some people wouldn't even consider letting their LO in their bed.
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  • Co-sleeping is common, and 99% of those who practice it don't have a safety issue. That said, it's still recommended against by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) because it does increase the risk of SIDS. You can read and practice as many co-sleeping tips as you want, but why take the risk at all. Get a bassinet or crib and take it from there.

    Another reason to let your baby sleep in the crib is to help with baby sleep training once your little one is ready to sleep through the night.

  • We have like every infant sleeping device on the market because I like to buy second hand and this is our second child, so we've been through a lot to find what worked for us.  Right now DD is in the RnP sleeper in her own room, so we're not using the crib yet.  DS though used his crib from probably 6 months until right before DD was born when we moved him into a toddler room with a toddler bed.  It really depends on the child and family.
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