I can't vent to anyone IRL other than my husband because I'm embarrassed so I hope you don't mind me popping in. My son is 8 months old and I went back to work when he was three months old. I cannot be a SAHM no matter how much I want to. I'm an attorney and I have over $160k in student loans still outstanding and my husband's income would not cover our bills plus that...so yeah, I need to work. Anyway we had a nanny in our home for a few months and now DH is a SAHD for a few months. He goes back to work in April. As much as he would love to stay home, we cannot afford that either.
So that's the background. I've been doing well at work and my bosses adore me. I've been one of the top billers and doing everything I need to do but suddenly I feel like I'm drowning. My work is insanely busy and I feel like I never get to see my son so I'm feeling like a total failure everywhere. My husband and I have been snapping at each other for the first time in our marriage and I know it is me. I cry randomly and just want to quit my job and stay home but then I know I can't and that causes me to cry all over. I work long hours, it's part of the job and I try to be home as much as I can. I usually see my son for about an hour in the morning and maybe 2 at night before he goes to bed and then all weekend. I also try to work from home when I can but I don't really get to see him all that often when I do because I actually have to work.
So really there's no real reason to this post but to vent to people who might understand where I'm coming from. I don't want to assume that you all feel the same way but if anyone does or has been there can you please let me know what you've done to get through it? I'm debating working through the night so I can be home with him more during the day... He sleeps all night so it isn't like I'd miss out on anything with him. I just don't know what to do. I've never regretted my career choice until now. I've wanted to be a lawyer since I was 6 years old and now I'm wishing I made other choices. I never knew I'd be this conflicted.
thanks for listening