I know similar questions have been asked here before but I hope I can get a few direct answers that may help.
I live 3,000 miles from my husband's and my entire families as well as just about all our friends. We recently made our pregnancy "public" and both my mom and DH's mom have said that now they need to figure out what to do for a shower (and aunt's and friends have asked as well).
I wasn't really expecting a shower because I live so far away. It's so pricey to fly back - especially just for a weekend. Not to mention that I'd either have to return gifts and rebuy here anyway or ship them out (more $$). For my wedding showers (a similar situation), we received either gifts shipped directly to our house or gift cards anyway, and the showers were more of a social gathering (which was lovely, but I can't afford to pay $500+ and take off of work for an afternoon party across the country).
My mom then suggested some sort of long-distance shower where we could set up a Skype situation. I'm not crazy about this idea. I'm also not crazy about a "send gifts and we will have a party later" idea. It seems a little tacky to me. I know a shower isn't necessary but it is difficult because we have a big family and they want to do a shower in some way.
Should I continue to politely decline any attempts for a long distance shower? Or, is there an alternative solution that won't hurt the hostesses' feelings?
Also, this isn't about the gifts. I figure if people really want to get us gifts, they will no matter what, and if not, no big deal - we will manage without a ton of gifts anyway.