3rd Trimester

Please read!!!

Is it normal to feel akward or not feel right watching other peoples' children?
I am 27, married of 4 years and have a 3 year old son, and Im a stay at home mom. I have 5 year old twin nieces who are my godchildren and my brother in law has a girlfriend with a 6 year old son.
Long story short....I feel uncomfortable watching my nieces without my husband...they are kind of intimidating.... they dont like to listen.
My brother in law asked me tonight if i could watch his grilfriends son while they go gambling. It was 8:30pm...they live a half hour away and the son doesnt go to bed until after midnight
....yes midnight. He has been abused by his real father...its very sad...i just want the best for him but for one...i just dont feel right putting him through staying in a strange place hes never been at our house for 4 hours and then his mom comes to pick him up in the middle of the night. I know im not his parent, i just value childrens sleep.
I felt really akward...they made me feel weird for saying no because of how late it was. I am also 30 weeks pregnant and im in bed by 9pm. That part doesnt bother me...but is it normal to squirm when other people want me to watch their kids? Some of my friends even ask....and theyve never been to my house. Im very protective of my son...i would never do that....especially when my son has never been to their house. Its not fair to a child to bring him over to a strange place in the middle of the night and expect him to sleep. Also, my brother in law and sister in law have no problem watching other kids...they find it weird that i dont like too...so they try and pressure me into it...they are very persuasive people... i know i need to have a backbone and stick to my ground, but how do i politely say no...after they repeatedly ask?

Re: Please read!!!

  • I don't really like watching other peoples children either. I sure wouldn't watch a child that doesn't go to bed until midnight. I go to bed at 10 and I'm sure while you could put him to bed at that time if he's not use to it he might get up and do who knows what while you sleep. I can't believe they let him stay up that late. Anyway, I don't think it's weird that you don't like watching other peoples children.

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  • I don't know if it's really something you would define as normal or abnormal. Everyone is different, and there is nothing wrong with that. I can tell you that my mother CAN'T STAND watching other people's children, yet we (my four siblings and I) were the center of her world. She's actually told me that she doesn't know if she'll even want to hold my baby or spend time alone with her until she is about two years old... At least I don't have to worry about an overbearing mother! Haha.

    So, I would say there is nothing wrong with feeling that way. Just because you love your kids doesn't mean you have to like to watch other children. And while I don't think it is that strange for the boy to stay over the night if you are close with the family and it was planned, this was not planned and the midnight thing would bother me, too. It's kind of rude for them to randomly call you up and ask you to stay up with a six-year-old while they go and gamble. Just my opinion.

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  • hmmm, I know it can be hard to watch other peoples children but you must set grounds rules and dont sway. Children can sense fear and will get over if they can ( there like hounds, blood in the water)

    If he goes to bed early you could ask her to have his pj's onso when he gets to your house he can lay down. If you put him in the bed he will relax maybe put the tv on for him. Children are little adults you must talk to them they understand.

  • My cousin always wants me to watch her children. I have declined everytime. She also lives 45 min from me and wants me to come to her. Yea, I think not. Now I am not uncofrtable watching other children but with having my own and having a husband who works and goes to school. I am pregnant, on restrictions and have enough on my plate just cooking, cleaning, and taking care of my own son. Stick to your decisions and just politely decline. I would even go so far as telling the truth, that you may have your own children but watching others makes you nervous. This will keep people from asking again. Hey, they may think your weird but who cares? We all have our quirks and most likely they will still want to be friends. If they don't, tell them ***** off. They were just using you then anyways.
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  • I don't like other peoples' kids.  I love my own, but I certaintly wouldn't want to watch other kids.

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  • I've watched other people's kids in a daycare setting during long seminars at a church, or at their own place where they are comfortable. But to go to bed at midnight and being this pregnant i'd not be comfortable.
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  • I have a friend that had way different rules for her children than I did for mine (example, she let her kids jump on/off furniture and I did not)  When we were discussing babysitting each other's kids, I told her I'd agree to it as long as she didn't mind her kids having to follow MY rules while I was watching them.  Her kids were toddlers/preschool age the first time I babysat them and I just told the kids, "I don't allow X behavior so while I'm around they can't do that even if their mom does allow it" and after a few times the kids started to follow my rules, even in their own home.

    I have had other friends with kids that I would not babysit for due to various reasons.  It is fair to say you'll only babysit under specific circumstances or even not at all.  One of the reasons, I insisted my friend's kids had to follow my rules, was that I didn't want the liability (even if only in my conscience) should one of the kids get hurt or break something while jumping on the furniture.

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  • image MmW36:
    I would say there is nothing wrong with feeling that way. Just because you love your kids doesn't mean you have to like to watch other children. And while I don't think it is that strange for the boy to stay over the night if you are close with the family and it was planned, this was not planned and the midnight thing would bother me, too. It's kind of rude for them to randomly call you up and ask you to stay up with a sixyearold while they go and gamble. Just my opinion.


    Peeking in from Dec board. This! Would be one thing if the kiddos mom was going to ER because of a health emergency, but expecting you, pregnant, at the last minute, to watch her child so they can go play? Nuhuh. Also odd that they're asking you when you are 45 mins away.... I do understand the, can handle my kid but no interest in also watching another's... esp when he hasn't been to your place before AND has some additional needs AND is being raised with different values.
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  • image Mama-Bear:
    I don't like other peoples' kids.  I love my own, but I certaintly wouldn't want to watch other kids.

    This! 

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