October 2013 Moms

When to tell parents = stressing big time

I've been stressing about when to tell our parents. Ideally, we would like to tell our parents together. I wanted to wait until my prenatal intake appointment, at which point I'll be about 6-7 weeks. Is this a good time?

I talk to my parents at least 2-3 times a week and am feeling so guilty for not saying anything. I just found out 3 days ago, so I shouldn't feel that bad, right?

 I know we'll be very selective about who we tell after that, but knowing our parents, the whole world may know after them. ;)

The standard for telling any body else is after 12 weeks, right? I can wait to tell other people until then, but I'm itching to tell the parents.

Re: When to tell parents = stressing big time

  • I would tell them. I told my parents with my first pregnancy, and had a miscarriage at 7 weeks. I could not have survived without them to support me. When I got pregnant again, I waited until 10 weeks. It was a good choice for me. Do what feels right.
  • I agree. We found out on a Saturday and told them on the Monday (brother and SIL on the Sun, and SILs Tues). SIL has gone through 2 miscarriages an if anything were to happen I'd want our families to be able to comfort us. 
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  • I blabbed the first time I saw them. And I wouldn't take it back.

    ETA my mom blabbed when she wasn't supposed to. But I got over it. DHs grandma blabbed last time and it ticked me off. It's up to you. Can you stress for tem not to tell?
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  • My dad was the second person I told, but I know he doesn't go around blabbing. As for my husbands parents, we've been holding off from telling them, because I know the second his mom finds out, she'll be on facebook telling the entire world. I understand she's excited and all, but its not her news to tell, at least not on facebook. We don't mind if she tells other family and family friends etc,but we aren't ready for it to be leaked out onto facebook.

    We're actually taking his parents out for a dinner tonight to tell them, its getting harder and harder to hide mainly due to my really bad m/s. All we can hope is that she respects us enough to not put anything on facebook. (which of course we will ask her not to).

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  • I told my parents, they have been very supportive through the whole IF/treatment process and knew when we would be testing. I also told my best friend, she is good at keeping quiet and also knew about what was going on. I told DH it was his choice when to tell his parents, and he is still deciding if he wants to tell them when we see them this weekend or after my appt on March 6th (around 7 weeks)
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  • With our last pregnancy we shared as soon as the pee dried. We, sadly, lost the pregnancy at 13weeks. It was horrible to "un-tell" and I didn't always feel a lot of real support. Just the "everything happens for a reason" and "God has a plan". Which are HORRIBLE things to say to a person grieving the loss of a pregnancy.

    This time we are waiting until Easter when I will be 12 weeks. I would do whatever feels best for you. I am dying to tell my MIL & FIL because this will be their first grand-baby. I am also having a hard time not telling my parents too.

    BFP1:1/24/2011 EDD 09/27/2011 - Missed Miscarriage 3/14/2011
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  • We're trying to hold off as long as possible but my morning sickness is getting out of control. We told them at 9 weeks with my 1st pregnancy and dh told them after I had my last m/ c. When you feel comfortable Is best. The only reason I want to tell now is because my mom will certainly help out tons more but I'm not sure that I'm ready.

    Olivia June BFP 12/26/10 EDD 09/01/11 Birthday 08/02/11

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  • Its really up to you. If you know they wont respect you asking them not to say anything then wait. We have not told anyone yet. I plan to tell my parents after the dating u/s where I will be around 6 weeks. My sister and SIL probably after my official OB appointment (not sure when that will be. I have not made my first OB appointment yet until I get my dating u/s). I imagine that will be around 8 or 9 weeks. My ILs cant keep a secret so I was thinking after the NT scan if I am feeling like  I am showing. When that is I will tell everyone else too.

    My co-workers just when I am getting too fat to hold it in ;)

    BFP #1 4/6/09; EDD 12/6/09; miscarriage 4/10/09..............BFP #2 5/3/09; DD born 1/9/10........BFP #3 12/15/12, EDD 8/31/13; baby stopped growing at 5w3d; natural miscarriage..........BFP #4 2/8/13, EDD 10/20/13; missed miscarriage discovered 9w2d; d/c.......BFP #5 10/22/13, EDD 7/8/13; miscarriage 10/28/13..... BFP #6 11/19/13; DS born 7/29/14 {\rtf1\ansi\ansicpg1252 {\fonttbl\f0\fswiss\fcharset0 Helvetica;} {\colortbl;\red255\green255\blue255;\red51\green51\blue51;\red255\green255\blue255;} \deftab720 \pard\pardeftab720\sl280\partightenfactor0 \f0\fs22 \cf2 \cb3 \expnd0\expndtw0\kerning0 \outl0\strokewidth0 \strokec2 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker} {\rtf1\ansi\ansicpg1252 {\fonttbl\f0\fswiss\fcharset0 Helvetica;} {\colortbl;\red255\green255\blue255;\red51\green51\blue51;\red255\green255\blue255;} \deftab720 \pard\pardeftab720\sl280\partightenfactor0 \f0\fs22 \cf2 \cb3 \expnd0\expndtw0\kerning0 \outl0\strokewidth0 \strokec2 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker}
  • Make them happy asa u can. No bodies who will live how long
  • Make them happy asa u can. No body knows who will live how long
  • I told my parents, brothers & sisters the day after we found out. I figured I would want their support in case anything happens and already i'm so happy they know just for little advice i'm getting here and there as well as little gifts from my mom to help with m/s.

    We are waiting to tell DH's parents until after my first apt as they live out of town and will be visiting. I also don't trust his mom to keep it a secret for very long so at that point she'll only have to hold it in for 2-3 weeks.

    To each their own ... do what feels comfortable to you based on the relationships you have with your parents.  

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  • We told our parents last weekend and don't plan on telling anyone else until after we get out NT scan results that's what we did for our DD and it worked out well for us. Everyone is different though, so you need to do what's best for you and DH.

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  • We just told my parent's today! (I'm 5w3d).  This is their first grandchild so my mom was freaking out.

    I told my husband we can't tell his parents until at least after our 1st appointment (on Monday), because I don't trust his mom not to say anything.  I really don't want the world to know through Facebook without my consent.

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  • We haven't told them yet and didn't tell them about either loss.

    Dh really wants to tell them, I'm not ready to.  Maybe after my ultrasound next week, if it goes well.  

    R&K married 4.15.11. TTC #1 since 7.11.12

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    BFP #2 10.15.12 EDD 6.28.13 c/p 10.19.12 at  4 weeks.

    BFP #3 1.19.13 EDD 10.1.13 Eleanor born 10.7.13 at 40 weeks 6 days

    13dpo hcg@32, progesterone@13.7, 15dpo hcg@110, 16dpo progesterone@25.9

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  • We told my parents around 8 weeks last time. Planning on telling them around 9 weeks since they are out of town. Do whatever feels right for you!
  • Our first pregnancy we waited till week 11.  I felt like we couldn't tell one parent and not the others... people talk about MIL's but my FIL is the biggest blabbermouth...nice guy but it isn't really even like he can't help it he thinks he has the right.  My DH cousin told his own mom when they were preg.  and she blabbed and it just went like wild fire.  They were really sensitive too because they had a  m/c. but they never found out everyone new already...when my FIL told us I said see this why we don't tell you things.   He actually rolled his eyes and giggled and said quote "blah blah blah"  so disgusting if you ask me.  This time I think we may tell our moms early....both our parents are divorced and remarried.

    Me - 39 DH - 39 DS - 1 Due Date - 10-20-13
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