March 2013 Moms

Valentines Disappointment

My husband really struck out this Valentines Day. He didn't even get me a card. I can understand not spending money on a gift since we have our little one due March 11th, but some attention or recognition would have been nice. Even a foot or back rub for once those don't cost a thing and would have been wonderful!
Also, I'm now up at 5am because my tossing and turning in bed was apparently annoying him his alarm goes off at 5 anyway so he should be up getting ready for work. Heaven forbid I disturb him as I try to get comfortable with my large belly and swollen feet.
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Re: Valentines Disappointment

  • I hear you! DH didnt even say Happy Valentines Day to me until he sent me a text later in the day. He only sent the text becasue my coworkers husband and my husband work together and she emailed him about it lol. I didnt get home until later after my Dr. apt so we didn't go out but he went and picked up Applebees but didnt get a card. He only picked up Applebees because I really didn't want to cook I was so tired.

    I know he loves me and it is just a 'Hallmark' holiday but come on you could at least say Happy Valentine's Day I love you!

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  • Mine was pretty disappointing too... All he did was get us take out and buy an on demand movie at home! Didn't even say anything about the gifts I got for him... I love him but seriously step it up man!!!
  • I could have written your post myself.

     I wrote him this really nice card and surprised him with dinner and a bottle of wine. So we ate dinner and fooled around a little bit (not to my benefit I have to add) whereby he then had a nap and worked for the rest of the night. I even told him flat out- a massage would be great babe. Nuh-uh. Squat. Yesterday was also my last day of work. Think he'd mention that? Congrats, you made it - nothing

     His mother is visiting us now for the next 4 days from across the country. This will be my first meeting with her.  Guess who's tidying up our place last minute before she arrives? That's right, this kid.




  • I totally understand and am so sorry to hear that. We preggos need all the love & appreciation we can get (& that's just on a normal day, not to mention V-Day). I suggested to my SO that we forgo V-Day presents this year. We both got each other really AWESOME and expensive gifts for Christmas. My bday was 1/14 and then his bday was 2/4. Then comes V-Day on 2/14. The baby is due 3/12 and we are moving in 2 weeks! So, since we have a lot going on I suggested to him that we just skip the bdays and V-Day this year & save the $. But he cooks dinner 5-6 nights a week & gets me fresh roses every 2 weeks anyway. He's a very sentimental guy. Wednesday he was off work (the day b4 V-Day). When I got home he had thoroughly cleaned the whole house, made a great dinner and gave me a footrub. Yesterday (V-Day) we both worked until 9pm. But he still cooked dinner. We watched a little tv and went to sleep. We we're exhausted. So.........nothing big on the actual "day", but I def feel appreciated.
  • This was my first yr as a wife on Valentines Day , so I got him a card that said husband. But personally like above post it's a Hallmark holiday, I don't want him to spend extra money on flowers and chocolate just because its Valentines Day. I'd rather be surprised any other day because HE wanted to do it!  Just my opinion :)
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  • we went and got our girls some stuff for valentines day and he said hey you want this box of chocolates, i said sure i guess. got home and he handed it to me and said happy valentines day baby, took it back off my lap before i had opened it, ate the good ones out and gave it back to me. jackass! LOL
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  • Dh and I are not really mushy Valentine's type people. I worked the 2nd job and he played basketball.  We didn't get each other a card and I could care less. I feel as if Valentine's Day has become way too much and like other's said, "Hallmark Holidy".  Dh did get me an edible arrangement and I bought him some chocolates but no cards.  This does not bother me at all.  Now, him getting annoyed about me tossing and turning would. That is a different story. That I agree would be frustrating.
  • Valentine's Day has been a disappointment for a really long time now, no matter how hard we try or how nice he is, it marks a very sad anniversary for me so I'm not really a happy camper about it. Today and tomorrow are going to be worse. He knows that and so while being supportive, he also lays low...

    It would have been nice to get a card or a single rose, but we had Fondue and called it a night. Happy V-Day I guess... 

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  • OP I used to be in that situation, now I send him an email with suggestions on what he can do for me. Romantic? No. But it sure beats feeling resentful when he didn't read my mind. 

  • I guess I'm in the minority here, but I told my DH not to get me anything, not even a card.  I've never bought into the hype surrounding Vday and always feel pressured to do something nice for him because he always does something nice for me.  This year he finally listened and ended up feeling horrible because I bought him a cupcake to share.  It was sweet he felt bad but it was also a bit silly.  

     I can, however, understand that if it's important to you that you may feel a bit let down.  The only thing you can do is discuss it with him. 

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  • mine kind of went two ways, I wrote him a really long message about this past year and how much i love him and how amazing he is. Inever got a response... later I get a text that says 70 for tulips wtfffff, I found some for 40 but they are roses. want them? Hmm Seriously? i told him no because I dodnt want him to waste the money butreally it was because of how he asked!! Then he comes home with 5 dollar daisy's from walmarta box of choclates and a card. He says : the flowers are really for me because I know you wont like them, and can you open the chocolates, I want so carmel." I didn't even eat a piece... they are all gone.

    But then, I opened the card and it had a sweet message about buying me more flowers and how he's excited to have this baby... and he gave me a necklace from Tiffany's!

    It ended good but I was in such a pissy mood the whole time and he totally made it about him even though i got us dinner, we watched his action movie and gave him great gifts.

    I may forget Valentines Day from now on to avoid the disappointment.


  • I'm glad I'm not the only one. My SO and I have a complicated on and off relationship. We had our weekly BPP yesterday and he didn't even bother to come. He lives half an hour away and had promised to be there but didn't show. He sent me a text and Facebook post that said I love you and then was hurt I ignored them. He proceeded to tell me about how he needs attention, love, blah blah blah. Yeah me too!!! Would have been nice for you to show up for once. I have spent this entire pregnancy ALONE and see him a couple days a month if that. Idk I guess in the back of my head I was hoping he would surprise me and do something special. All I wanted was for him to be there, I didn't want any gifts.
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  • I don't like Vday -- Hallmark Holiday here too.  I had commented on needing an alarm clock for our room for the times when we forget to turn on sounds on the cell phones and can't hear the alarm going off (happened a few times now) and dh agreed. So....

    In the midst of him and ds1 being sick the past few days, he went out and bought a cheap, electric alarm clock for us.  While he napped, I went in started to make myself some supper as we had agreed that it would be a fend for yourself kinda night.....I wound up making chicken fried rice for the whole family -- just cause that's what sounded the best to me and it worked for all.

    That's my kind of V-anyday -- where you each do something special for the other, just because you can. Knowing my wonderful dh, he will borrow my car sometime this weekend and return it with a full tank of gas and sometime while he's working I will "magically" make his dresser drawers/closet full of clean clothes.

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  • We are both very aware of the coming expenses with a baby due that has a serious heart defect, so neither one of us wanted to spend a lot of money on something for Valentine's day.  We never even talked about it, it was just kind of assumed.  I looked at cards at Target, but I just couldn't bring myself to spend 5 bucks on a card.  So I took a piece of red construction paper and wrote him a note telling him what I really feel in a heartfelt way.

    When he came home from work, he had a small boquet of purple flowers (my favorite color) and a snack size McFlurry for me.  I was thrilled with the simple gift.  I even praised him for not wasting a ton of money on roses that die fast and instead getting me some less expensive flowers my favorite color.  After 12 years together and almost 6 years of marriage, he knew what was just right.  I couldn't be happier with his choices.

    The funny thing was that a woman at his work gave him a hard time about what he bought.  She told him that he wasn't getting me enough, he should do more, she'd be pissed with just that, etc.  What he found ironic about that was that she literally has no money, to the point of being on government assistance, and yet she insists that her partner spend money they can't afford on gifts.  What sense does that make?

  • I understand what some of you are saying about it being a "Hallmark holiday," but my real surprise was that at a time when I am feeling so unattractive with stretch marks and the number on the scale climbing up and up, he decided this Vday to do absolutely nothing at all for me. He didn't have to spend money. I know he can be romantic, so I was just disappointed.
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