Preemies

Am I crazy?

I am really stressing because I didn't get my DS anything for his first Valentine's day.  I get like this at every holiday.  I actually feel anxious and bad about it. I worry that I'm not doing enough!  Does anyone else feel this way??
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker image

Re: Am I crazy?

  • Well I don't think there is any reason to feel bad buuut ....I like to do a little home photo shoot for holidays. Since my son is just a baby it's not like he has any context for anything yet so I just figure for now the best thing is to just take some special pictures to commemorate each first holiday!

    So maybe just make a valentine for him out of whatever you have and take a picture of him with it!

    But don't feel crazy for feeling guilty, I think you're just a loving momma that wants to make sure her baby feels loved and special :) <3

     

  • Don't feel bad!  We didn't do anything for Judith the last 2 years.  Her first Valentine's day we got her a cute little sleeper to wear, and that was it.  We're just not big valentine's day people.  There's nothing wrong with not doing anything.
    O&D October Siggy Challenge: Favorite Halloween Candy
    image

    2 Bostons, 1 Preemie, & 65 Roses

    image
  • I'm sorry, this cracked me up.  Your LO has no idea about holidays or gifts.  I promise you won't be a better or worse parent for not acknowledging the holiday to him at this age.  I didn't even get DS anything for his second Valentine's Day, though he will get a pink pudding for dessert if he eats his dinner.  DH and I bought/made cards for each other "from" DS, but only his grandparents sent him cards.  We just don't put too much effort into stuff he doesn't understand.  Cut yourself some slack!  You are a great mom every day!
    Preemie Resources: http://preemiemomblog.blogspot.com/

    DD1: BFP July 2010...HG in first tri, MC delivered vaginally at 18 weeks October 2010

    DS: BFP December 2011...SCH at 5 weeks, SBR at 7 weeks, Placental Abruption at 13 weeks, Hospitalized at 25 weeks, pPROM at 28 weeks, PTL via CS at 31 weeks 

    DD2: BFP January 2013...P17 shots, delivered via VBAC at 39 weeks
  • I hear you! I like doing cute little things for people so I'm excited to do all that stuff for DS, too! But we're on a tight budget and he won't remember ;) I make the day special - put him in a cute outfit with a cute filter frame.

    Last year for each holiday my H and I got him a card and wrote him a letter for him to have some day.That could be an idea :) 

  • I know that it totally sounds crazy.  I was like this at Christmas too.  I think it comes from the fact that I always assumed I would have more than one child.  But, since DS came early he will be an only child.  We're not 100% but I'm scared it would happen again and even if I did decide that I wanted another one, I would have a really hard time convincing my DH.  So, b/c of this I feel like this is my only shot and I want to enjoy it and make the most of it.  I think it may be part of the way I'm dealing with the stress of knowing I won't have another child. 

    UFP- that is a great idea with the cards!  I think I will make him a card and write him a note about how special he is to me and how much I love him.  That will be much more of a momento than any stuffed animal :)

    Thanks ladies!!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker image
  • image pathfindermon:

    I know that it totally sounds crazy.  I was like this at Christmas too.  I think it comes from the fact that I always assumed I would have more than one child.  But, since DS came early he will be an only child.  We're not 100% but I'm scared it would happen again and even if I did decide that I wanted another one, I would have a really hard time convincing my DH.  So, b/c of this I feel like this is my only shot and I want to enjoy it and make the most of it.  I think it may be part of the way I'm dealing with the stress of knowing I won't have another child. 

    UFP- that is a great idea with the cards!  I think I will make him a card and write him a note about how special he is to me and how much I love him.  That will be much more of a momento than any stuffed animal :)

    Thanks ladies!!

    Give yourself time before making the final decision to only have one child.  I was adamant up to about DS's first birthday that I would never have another PG and even requested info on tubal ligation at my annual.  But the urge to procreate is a strong one, and my OB was really shocked that I had given up so quickly.  (As she put it we suffered "the perfect storm" and "our bar is pretty low", so another PG will most likely be better.)  After talking to her, my MFM, my pastor, and my counselor, and several months of consideration, DH and I decided to try for another baby.  I'm not saying you have to make the choice we did, just letting you know you don't have to decide permanently right now.

    Also, if it means a lot to you to celebrate holidays with your LO, it doesn't make you crazy.  We're just not that into holidays in our family.  (I'm really sorry if I offended you in my first response!)  I get really frustrated when people plan these elaborate parties and gifts for LOs that have no idea what is going on because I can't relate to the parents' feelings.  I also find it frustrating when people of any age dealing with other people of any age and relationship plan something that meets the planners needs but not the recipient's and get upset when the recipient doesn't respond as planned.  (If that doesn't make sense, I don't know how else to explain it without diagrams...)  I just hate to see you get all worked up about getting your LO something meaningful and then LO winds up not really being into it.  (I wrote my kids journals during each PG, and I'll be heartbroken if they don't appreciate them when they are older.  See, I do it, too.)  I'm glad you found an idea you love!


    Preemie Resources: http://preemiemomblog.blogspot.com/

    DD1: BFP July 2010...HG in first tri, MC delivered vaginally at 18 weeks October 2010

    DS: BFP December 2011...SCH at 5 weeks, SBR at 7 weeks, Placental Abruption at 13 weeks, Hospitalized at 25 weeks, pPROM at 28 weeks, PTL via CS at 31 weeks 

    DD2: BFP January 2013...P17 shots, delivered via VBAC at 39 weeks
  • image pathfindermon:

    I know that it totally sounds crazy.  I was like this at Christmas too.  I think it comes from the fact that I always assumed I would have more than one child.  But, since DS came early he will be an only child.  We're not 100% but I'm scared it would happen again and even if I did decide that I wanted another one, I would have a really hard time convincing my DH.  So, b/c of this I feel like this is my only shot and I want to enjoy it and make the most of it.  I think it may be part of the way I'm dealing with the stress of knowing I won't have another child. 

    UFP- that is a great idea with the cards!  I think I will make him a card and write him a note about how special he is to me and how much I love him.  That will be much more of a momento than any stuffed animal :)

    Thanks ladies!!

    You're welcome! I can relate to what you're saying about "one shot" - I only want one child. Preemie-ness aside, that's all. Just one unless there is a surprise. I think it helps me savor a lot of moments I might otherwise slip by.  

  • I don't think it's crazy, I wanted to get my DD something but then I decided she really doesn't care right now, so I'd rather just save the money and effort for when she knows the difference.  I also felt bad not inviting some of her little friends to her 1-yr party I'm planning, but again, I decided to save the money and make her a huge awesome party with all her friends in a few years when she can appreciate it!  Your baby can tell you love him or her regardless of what toys and gifts you get - you could give her a piece of paper and she will probably think it's the best thing she's ever been given :)
    Preemie mom! Born 10 weeks early but Mommy and baby are both doing great!! BabyFruit Ticker
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards