3rd Trimester

PLEASE help.. Need advice on moving..

We are moving from Connecticut to New Jersey as soon as we can decide between the two places we've narrowed ourselves down to.  I'm due in 10 weeks and DH's job changed and he has been working there during the week and coming home on the weekends..we thought we'd be moved by now and I desperately want to get settled before the baby comes!

Our problem is basically size or location..we are renting for probably the next year or two before we buy for a few reasons like we might buy back here in CT and we are moving quickly and don't have time to look or committ to buying.  Anyway..one option is one of DH's close friends is renting out their house and it is plenty of room, space for baby, space for my family to visit, space for DD to have her own room, just lots of room.  It is also 1 min from the elementary school and is on a dead end street with a playground.  The kindergarten is half day which I prefer as DD will be 4 going in as opposed to full day at the other place.  It is $200 more a month than the other..

The other is a first floor of a home that the couple is completely redoing so everything is new (as is the other home)..it is in a better, central location and closer to DH's work..20 min drive as opposed to 45.  It is near DH's family and the few friends that I know.  But it is small..2 small bedrooms, one bigger than the other, no room for our kitchen table or any really..DH would have to make one to fit..We'd have to have baby with us for a good while and even if we want the girls to share a room I am not sure all their furniture will fit in the bedroom and I think DD would be upset having to share a room and pretty much have no space.  She will be 4 1/2 when DD 2 gets here so say she'd be 5 when she has to share with her 1 yr old sister.  I guess the thing we like about this smaller one is the utility bill would be cheaper, it is pretty, it has a cute front porch, the owners are super sweet and like us, on a dead end road, and close to what I know from when we lived there before..lots of shopping etc.

DH's friend's house has the room we would want and not be squished..I don't know the area well (it is actually NY) and I don't know anyone, but I assume I'll meet moms from school and what not. 

So do we go with space or location?!?!  Suck it up and be squished for 200 less a month and better location or be in a new area and have tons of room for our growing family and guests?   Moms of 2 + will hopefully tell me I will want the space!!!!! 

Not that this matters but my mom thinks we should pick the big house because I am a SAHM and am home a lot and will go crazy if cramped..DH's mom thinks we should go with the small bottom floor..probably because it is closer to them lol..HELP!!

And the reason I am posting this is because it is stressing me out like crazy and we can't decide and need to this weekend as there are other offers on both..I just need something to click or someone to shed some light!

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Re: PLEASE help.. Need advice on moving..

  • First Please stop stressing!  

    Recently went through a similar situation... we moved one week ago. Bigger space then we were in, ( SS visits on the weekend- we were in a 1bed room apt now in a 2 bed room)  about an extra $200 more but I'm closer to my mom, and my DH walks home from work in 10 mins.

    I would go with location. Either way you'll spend the additional $200 ( in gas or rent) if you plan to stay one for a year or two baby ( if you want) can share a room with you and DH; if its important that DD has her own room. I don't think DD will be upset to share her room. Normally kids are excited about sharing a room with a younger sibling, if they were teenagers I would totally agree with you.

    Also, you'll know people around you. The extra help!

  • I'm ll about having enough space so I would probably go with the larger house. I personally think it would be a pain to move somewhere that already sounds like it doesn't have enough space for your family. What if you have more kids? Good luck
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  • image mrsjjohnson2010:

    I would go with location. Either way you'll spend the additional $200 ( in gas or rent) if you plan to stay one for a year or two baby ( if you want) can share a room with you and DH; if its important that DD has her own room. I don't think DD will be upset to share her room. Normally kids are excited about sharing a room with a younger sibling, if they were teenagers I would totally agree with you.

    This. If the living arrangement is temporary (1-2 years), you'll find a way to work with the space. It is stressful when you can't envision all of your furniture fitting into the new location, but you will find a way to work things out.

    Many kids share rooms with siblings. My sister wasn't thrilled when I came along (3 years apart), but we shared a room until I was 5 and she was 8. I remember having a lot of fun with her, too. 

    Good luck with everything!

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  • How often do you plan to see your DH's family?  Are they the type that would babysit for your?  If you plan to see them often and they're the type that will be around to help out, I'd be saying definately go location over space.  If not, I guess I'd go for the space.

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  • I personally would go with the one with the space. We're dealing with the problem of fitting our growing family into a very small house, but we have no other choice. DH is military and we moved on base into a TINY house. Literally, we can't even fit baby's crib through the doorways, DH has to rebuild it to make it fit. And even then it's going to go into DS's room and there won't be much room besides anything but the crib and DS's toddler bed, and we're gonna be like this for a couple years.

    If I'd had a choice I would choose the bigger house.

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  • Are there people living in the second floor of option 2? That could be loud and annoying. Just something else to consider..
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  • If option 2 is a house that is being renovated... And I know this by experience... You will not enjoy... I could only imagine what it would be like with an infant...

    As for option 1, if the location is what is holding you back, you need to realize that it's 25 minutes farther than Option 2... Isn't 25 minutes a small deal to be able to keep all your furniture, without your DH having to make another table, or sharing your room with baby for 1-2 years?

    I'd go with space over renos...

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  • Having had to make this decision myself recently when my XH and I sold our house and I had to find my own place to rent until I can buy something, I vote for more space. I had to downsize from our 5 bedroom but I still went with a decent size 3 bedroom with rooms for both DS and LO. Would it be horrible for your kids to share a room for a while? No, of course not. My brother and I had to share a room for years and we survived. But I was more concerned about having play space and room to move around the house. I have an hour long commute to work and my mom is 20 minutes away but I don't regret it. I think you would especially want a little room as a SAHM. Just my 2 cents.
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  • I'm personally leaning toward #1. Close to school and a playground is a plus. All day kindergarten is pretty much a deal breaker for me, which is another reason I prefer the first. It sounds like this option is a single family home, meaning you have control over the noise levels. Extra space with two kids is always a plus. 

    Now, that said. I believe you could be happy at #2 as well. Being closer to work and family is a bonus. Plus that's $200 a month you could be putting toward your house purchasing fund.  

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  • I would pick the more expensive house. I have rented a basement apartment of a house before. It sucked. You could hear them, they could hear you. Not enough space and privacy.
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  • image marshmallows:
    Are there people living in the second floor of option 2? That could be loud and annoying. Just something else to consider..

    this!

     

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  • image BelhurstBride:

    I'm personally leaning toward #1. Close to school and a playground is a plus. All day kindergarten is pretty much a deal breaker for me, which is another reason I prefer the first. It sounds like this option is a single family home, meaning you have control over the noise levels. Extra space with two kids is always a plus. 

    Now, that said. I believe you could be happy at #2 as well. Being closer to work and family is a bonus. Plus that's $200 a month you could be putting toward your house purchasing fund.  

    This is so interesting to hear- I am a teacher and I work in a district with 1/2 day Kindergarten and we get soooo many complaints about it.  They forming a committee now to discuss going full-day.

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  • Thanks for the input!! Upstairs tenant is in his 60s and is super quiet according to the landlords..they have been working non stop there and said they've only heard the toilet flush lol..

    The renovations will be done next week so that isn't a concern..they are doing all the work so we can move in..

    In laws and sister n law would be close and visit and help if I ask for it..but is that a reason for us to be cramped? I just don't know..ugh

    And DD would be a young kindergartner..5 at the end of Sept so I'd prefer she not go from 3 half days of preschool to 5 full days of kind!  Also..we could walk to school

    I know it sounds like I'm leaning towards the house, but for some reason I have a better feeling with the small first floor..weird
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  • we are in the process of buying a home. Word of advice: you cannot change your location, or how big the house is (unless you have $$ to add). I would think of your growing family. If a 2 bedroom is closer to DH's work, and maybe a better area for your children, then go for that. 
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  • I'd personally go for the space. The kids will grow - they'll want pets, sleepovers, birthday parties, a backyard, etc. Space! I lived in West Caldwell for a short time and really loved it - the schools, the space, etc. Depends on how far into NJ you want to be. When you're ready to move, check out Unpakt.com, it's like Kayak for moving services (you don't have to worry about whether or not you're hiring a reputable company and you'll save money). 
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