February 2013 Moms

MIL vent

God, what is it with MILs making us pregnant ladies mental?!?!

I've always gotten along with mine, although she can sometimes be loud and abrasive. It's just her personality. Long story short, she hijacked my baby shower from my best friend and mother back at the beginning of December, and I've been testy ever since then. She's also pissed that we're keeping the gender a secret for the sake of my family (who would like to be surprised with their first grandchild), and she's made no bones about that.

Lately, I'm just kind of sick of the comments. We can't visit without me being told "You can put the recliner back. You can put a pillow behind you." Yeah, I know. I'm an adult. I'm fine sitting the way I am. We visited on Sunday and the middle of my back was hurting from doing a lot around the house earlier that day. She looks at me and tells me that's where her labor pains began with her first. Well, that's great, but I'm not in labor. I'm fine.

I've been going for weekly appointments since week 36. At that first weekly appointment, I let my doctor know that I had some swelling in my feet at night, so they did a urine test and it came back normal. I tell MIL... "Guess your doctor and I were thinking the same thing... toxemia!!!" Thanks. Way to think the worst case scenario and then tell me you were thinking that when it was NOT toxemia at all, just the fact that my feet aren't typically elevated throughout the day.

Every time I come home from an appointment, I end up with a FB message shortly afterwards checking on how everything went, which is fine, but the rest of my family just waits until they hear from me. I haven't given her any details (because there really aren't any) other than to say the baby looks good and everything is status quo. (I had been a fingertip dilated the last two appointments, and the doc stretched my cervix last week. Dilated a full centimeter this week.) So she writes back that she's happy for the good news with the baby doing well, and asked if my doctor told me I had started to "soften up." Um, ew. And what if he had? I'm sorry, I feel weird sharing that information with her. The only people I've given any details to are DH and my Mom. And seriously, this is my parents' first grandchild and MIL's fifth, you'd think my own mother would be up in my business a whole lot more, but she's not. I just feel weird discussing the goings on of my cervix. Maybe I'm just overly sensitive. :-/

Re: MIL vent

  • My SO mother told me that I was trying not to dilate so I can be induced. She's not my MIL, but she gives me heartburn pains in my ass.

    Also, yes that is creepy. She shouldn't be asking if you are softening up. But your MIL sounds excited too.
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  • this post makes me laugh bc this past week ive been feeling the same way! i seriously have the best mother in law..so so nice and caring but she is starting to get overbearing. Every single day I have an email or text from her asking if I have any new symptoms and if I got to work ok. I am 37 w 5 d so still have time and she tells me she cant sleep thinking the baby will come at any second. Today she told me at my appt tonight she hopes the dr tells me im in labor and need to go to the hospital. I am not in labor. I feel totally fine, I havent lost my mucous plug. Besides the baby being very low and being 50% effaced there is no reason to think I am going into labor tonight-chill out! I also told her i dont want the baby to come tonight because my husband is out with work friends-she told me I need to have a back up plan. Please do not tell me how to handle my pregnancy or my marriage.  We are 30-we got this. I feel terrible complaining bc she is so nice...its just too much right now. I want this baby to come too, I dont need someone else telling me how impatient THEY are getting!!!
  • Your MIL sounds like my SIL. Yesterday she called DH a bad updater because she hadn't heard how things were going. How what things were going? I'm still pregnant - it's not like we had the baby and didn't tell her.

    I also agree with you about giving TMI. DH talked to his mom and sister on our way home from the OB this morning and told them my OB stripped my membranes. And then explained to them, in detail, what that meant. I didn't really need anyone to know about the nitty gritty of that business. 

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    Congrats to both my TTC buddies, Amberley18 and sb2006 on their beautiful babies!
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