Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Free time.

Having two kids is so much harder than I thought it would be. I have a two year old and a 1 month old. As soon as I get them both napping at the same time or down for the night, I feel like I have to clean the mess of a house I have, I just feel bad if I sit down and let my house be destroyed. And getting ready? I am lucky to get eyeliner on and my hair in a bun. Sweats are my life. Please tell me someone else out there is feeling the same way. And anyone that has experience in this, when does it get easier?
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Re: Free time.

  • What about getting a maid for once or twice a week?
  • Free time? What's that?!
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  • I feel ya. I usually only get TB as my outlet anymore and I do it one handed.
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  • A maid? I don't think I could get myself to pay for someone else to clean my messes. Nor do I have much extra to spend on a maid with saving for a house and two college funds.

    I hope we all find time for ourselves again, someday. It seems like a far reach at this point though. It really hasn't helped that I don't feel like I am looking as great as I did post baby the first time around. I feel like everyday I find a different stretch mark. HA. I secretly can't wait until they are both in school and start going to sleepovers and such.

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  • It does get easier.  Preschool isn't far away.

    For now, get out of the sweats.  Even if you have to buy an interim pair of pants get dressed every day. 

    Leave one day a week not to clean or set a timer and pick up for a set amount of time.  Thursday's my 4 yo goes to preschool during naptime for the 22 month old and 7 wk old.  I leave that time to pay a few bills, drink a cup of coffee, and have a cookie. 

    I'm not much of a makeup person, but I've started to take it with me.  It's a lot easier to put it on when the 3 are contained.

  • This is my second so I don't know, but with my first it took about 7 months to get some free time again. Also don't stress the housework too much. I can't see the age of your eldest, but maybe they can at least help you pick up toys.
  • image Nana_Osaki06:
    I feel ya. I usually only get TB as my outlet anymore and I do it one handed.

    LOL. Yeah one handed while nursing! 

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  • Is there a teenager in your neighborhood who could come over and be a mother's helper?  She could play with your two year old and hold your infant for an  hour or two while you take a shower, clean up, etc.  Then when LO's nap, you could have time for yourself.  It's kinda hard to do that now since I saw LO is one month but maybe in a few weeks? I'm having a neighborhood girl come over so I can clean, exercise and take a breath.  She's great with my three year old and well worth the few bucks.  Hang in there, it will get better.
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  • I actually feel like I have free time when I only have two of the kids with me! 

    But seriously, it gets easier as you get  more of a set routine and as the kids get older and can start going more on their own.  A two year old is getting to a point where they can start picking up some of their own toys and learn to get dressed/undressed on their own, etc.  That will free up time.

    And, some of this is a matter of perspective.  Is your house really being destroyed?  I doubt it.  Sometimes you need to re-evaluate your standards and decide where you can loosen them up a bit in order to keep your sanity.  I have a cleaning lady come every other week to do deep cleaning and that makes it far easier because I just have to clean up the little stuff during the week. I understand feeling like you should always be doing something but if there is one thing I've learned working full-time along with having four kids it's that the dishes can wait while I watch some trashy Housewives show to relax.

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  • image cmrand4:
    Is there a teenager in your neighborhood who could come over and be a mother's helper?  She could play with your two year old and hold your infant for an  hour or two while you take a shower, clean up, etc.  Then when LO's nap, you could have time for yourself.  It's kinda hard to do that now since I saw LO is one month but maybe in a few weeks? I'm having a neighborhood girl come over so I can clean, exercise and take a breath.  She's great with my three year old and well worth the few bucks.  Hang in there, it will get better.

     Great idea! I'm keeping this one in mind for myself. Thaaaaaaaaanx!

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  • My kids at the same ages as yours so I'm right there with you!

    I make sure my 2 year old puts her toys away before bed. I TRY to wake up before her to get in my workout and shower. Doesn't always happen because sometimes I am just too tired. Luckily I've discovered she loves working out with me! I can't be as serious or intense about it, but I still get in some decent cardio dancing around with her and she counts my pushups, squats and crunches for me. And DS is happy sitting in his bouncer laughing at us.

    I try to get dishes done as we use them, it's less intimidating to wash a few plates after each meal then to face an overflowing sink at the end of the night.

    I don't know. Somehow it all works out. It's getting better now that DS has somewhat of a schedule.
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  • A lot of great advice! I do have a cousin a few streets down I could ask to play with the lil one's while I relax, and I do have very high standards of cleaning, so I suppose it's time to start easing up. My two year does pick up her room and playroom I think it's the dishes and never ending laundry that always gets me. With her I was back to getting ready every day when she was like 3 months, but I am not pushing myself to rush into life again ha. But I will try to get out of my sweats and back into real clothes. Maybe that will help me feel better about everything!
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  • The transition to 2 kicked my butt at first. After the first few weeks it got easier, around 3 months when DS got into a more consistent routine helped too. Like everything else there are phases of it being amazing, and then phases of survival mode. I found it less stressful to shower at night, use the crockpot frequently, pack the dishwasher, and nap when they nap if youre ever lucky enough that it happens at the same time. Being outside the house whether its the playground, mall, library, or whatever also made me more relaxed because my house wasnt torn upside down... I know it isnt for everyone, but I still prefer to leave the house as much as possible. The transition to three has been cake, in case you're getting the itch, lol.
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