February 2013 Moms

Downs advice

Hi ladies,

I just had my first DD today and all my prenatal care showed no red flags for Downs. Well the pediatrician came in today and said she is showing some features of it, her hands, eyes slanting, the bridge of her nose and her tounge.

I am in shock and can't stop crying that I did something wrong. I'm only 26 and DH is 30, and I had a very uneventful pregnancy. They are doing a blood test that will show us results in 2 weeks. They said it is a 50/50 shot she will be shown to have Downs.

Any advice? Anyone been through something like this?

Xp on special needs

Re: Downs advice

  • Hi! I'm not in this birth month, I'm due in August but I was curious what women were talking about during their due month.
    I'm a preschool special education teacher and not a doctor of any kind but I'd definitely wait till the blood work comes back because doctors have been wrong about Down syndrome many times!!
    On another note, if you do have a babe with DS although it can be stressful to navigate the best route for your new family, children with DS are notoriously loving, fiesty, and social. I have a cousin with DS and I've taught many children with DS and I've had a very close bond with each and every one!
    I don't know if any of that helps or not. I don't want to downplay what you're going through. All things are apart of the bigger plan.
    :
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  • I have no advice for you, however I've been reading this blog and it might help you. http://www.kellehampton.com/p/nellas-birth-story.html   I'm sorry and I hope that everything works out for the best. It's ok to feel upset. 

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  • Congratulations! I am so sorry you feel this way, I would probably be the same.  While I don't have any experience with Downs in my circle, all I have ever heard is that kids/adults with Downs are some of most wonderful, caring and loving people you could ever meet. You are young but there's a still a chance for it to happen to anyone! You did nothing wrong. Please try to enjoy your precious little girl. The first few days/weeks  are very emotional and I can imagine something like this could intensify everything. Hugs!!
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  • This did happen to a friend of mine and it turned out that her DD did not have downs.

    Best of luck through this time period and regardless of the results, it is hard enough to first have a baby and this extra added stress must be incredibly difficult for you.

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  • After my 20 week ultrasound I was sent for further tests because my doctor believed that Edward's syndrome was highly likely for my LO.  After days and days of crying and trying to cope with this unforeseen curveball (I'm 24 and the father is 28 and have no history of anything like this) we went to the specialist.  The specialist was able to say that he's fairly sure that the baby is healthy.

    My best advice? Enjoy your last couple days/weeks of being pregnant and try not to think about it.  I know it's hard, I promise!  But regardless of if she's positive or negative for Downs once born she is still your daughter and is going to be everything that you've been looking forward to your entire pregnancy!  She will still be perfect :)

     


  • Congratulations on the birth of your sweet daughter!

    We have two sets of friends with children who have Downs, one set has a 3 year old boy and one has a 2 year old girl.  They  have blessed their families in ways they never imagined.  One set knew about it before the baby was born, and one did not know until the baby was older.  But again, but have enriched their families' lives in ways the families never could have known in advance.

    One of them share this writing after they found out and said it helped her a lot, I am reposting for you.  Congratulations again, your daughter is a treasure no matter how many chromosomes she has or does not have.  Hugs to you.  

     

    WELCOME TO HOLLAND

    by
    Emily Perl Kingsley.c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

    I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

    When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

    After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

    "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

    But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

    The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

    So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

    It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

    But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

    And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

    But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

      

    We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013.  We love her to pieces.  

    We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011.  She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.


  • Congratulations on your new baby! Could you get a second opinion? Maybe ask another doctor? I know nothing will be definite until you have the blood test back, but maybe someone else could give you more information or a different opinion.

    In the meantime, give yourself some time to heal. Your hormones are raging right now, and no matter what the outcome, YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. Hang in there! 

     

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  • My heart aches for what you must be going through.  You did nothing wrong.  Downs is a chromosomal defect, not something that happens during pregnancy.  I second the pp who reccomended this blog:

    http://www.kellehampton.com/2010/01/nella-cordelia-birth-story.html

    If she does have it, life will be different, but can still be wonderful.  You will find support in the most unexpected places.

    SAHM to DD1 (7), DS (5) and DD2 (1)
  • i have no idea how you must be feeling right now but just wanted to say you are in my thoughts. i'm certain that regardless of the results of the test that you will love your daughter and she will love you very, very much. but it completely makes sense that right now is very scary overwhelming.

    i hope you get the answers support you need. i hope you continue to post in Feb 2013 as i'd love to hear how you your daughter are doing as you get more information. take care of yourself.
  • I had a couple scares during pregnancy that my baby had Downs', but he didn't. I'm sorry you're going through this.

    If it does come back that your baby has Downs', please know that it's nothing you did wrong.  There isn't anything that can prevent it or cause it by the mother. 

  • Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby!  I know this must be very scary but there is zero reason to blame yourself.  If your child has Down Syndrome please know it is not the end of the world by any stretch.  My friend has twin boys with down syndrome and they are amazing boys who are thriving.  Check out her blog.  I suggest reading it in reverse from when they were first born because she went through many of the emotions you may be feeling.   http://caseynconnor12409.blogspot.com/

      Congrats again Momma.  Hang in there.  I know these next two weeks will be tough.

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