Stay at Home Moms

i wish i could make money

We are in middle of bankruptcy, and was counting on our tax return to cover lawyer costs....and of course in true bad luck fashion the feds have taken our return and have not listed why but we can call tomorrow to find out. My stomach turned hard when dh told me the return was gone. .we are trying so dang hard to get to that starting point again with no debts and good budgeting. Getting there on budgeting, not a lot of extra money after bills to invest and save but I had the bankruptcy bill covered in my head. Dh was mad but more proactive about how to proceed, work more plus payday loans to cover bankruptcy bills.

I just wish I had something I could do on a weekly basis to make enough to cover the power bill or gas. I have done random crafts I make and sell online or at my moms work but with three kids I do not have the time. I will be a SAHM for at least another 10 years while homeschooling but I wish I could make money on a regular basis on the side, just for that cushion.
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Re: i wish i could make money

  • I am sorry that that happened to you. I have never dealt with bankruptcy personally but my BIL and SIL are going through it right now and it is my understanding that until your bankruptcy is over that your tax returns are withheld and taken by the government to put towards your debts. That is how I have known it to work.

    I also don't know what kind of payday loans you are referencing but when I hear that I think of "check into cash/payday loan" type places that charge you a rediculous amount of interest. I wouldn't think that that is something that you would want to do to cover lawyer bills and such if you are trying to get out of debt. Wouldn't that just be back tracking? 

    If I were in your shoes and we were going through a bankruptcy I would be doing everything I could to help contribute to my families financial well being. I wouldn't be planning on staying home for 10+ years. I would be working my ass off to find a job. I'm sorry if this is harsh but I can't understand how people can go through bankruptcy and other financial distress and think that they are financially capable of staying home.  

     

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers ANGELS ARE GIVEN WINGS AND TAKEN BACK TOO SOON --- We love and miss you soo much Kacie Rae --- 9/11/10 --- born sleeping at 29wks2d
  • Get a job!!!! You can't afford to stay home and have zero right to. Payday loans are not the answer you will never pay them back and be in over your head again.

    Bankrupcy hurts everyone and because you think you are entitled to SAH you think this is okay. I am fuming. This is completely unacceptable , you and your DH should be working not 1 but 2 jobs to get this mess you created cleaned up. 

    Mom to Emma 9/4/06 and Jackson 11/24/08 M/C Dec 11 and M/C twins feb 2012. BFP Thanksgiving! EDD Aug 4, 2013 M/C at 5 weeks.
  • I admit I may have the wrong poster on my post-it, but isn't this the girl with three kids really close in age that lives with either their parents or their ILs?

    Even if I'm wrong--you still shouldn't be SAH. That's wonderful you wanted to homeschool, but sometimes grown-up life gets in the way of what we want. You should be working at least until you get significantly above water (and move out of your family's house if that actually is the case). This may involve working opposite shifts from your DH for a while if daycare costs are a consideration.

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  • image KC_13:

    I admit I may have the wrong poster on my post-it, but isn't this the girl with three kids really close in age that lives with either their parents or their ILs?

    Even if I'm wrong--you still shouldn't be SAH. That's wonderful you wanted to homeschool, but sometimes grown-up life gets in the way of what we want. You should be working at least until you get significantly above water (and move out of your family's house if that actually is the case). This may involve working opposite shifts from your DH for a while if daycare costs are a consideration.

    IDK but according to her posts, she has a 4 month old, 2year old and 3 year old. So not only does she think she should be able to SAH while she can't afford it, she also thinks she should have as many kids as possible while doing so.
    Mom to Emma 9/4/06 and Jackson 11/24/08 M/C Dec 11 and M/C twins feb 2012. BFP Thanksgiving! EDD Aug 4, 2013 M/C at 5 weeks.
  • image Andrewsgal:

    Get a job!!!! You can't afford to stay home and have zero right to. Payday loans are not the answer you will never pay them back and be in over your head again.

    Bankrupcy hurts everyone and because you think you are entitled to SAH you think this is okay. I am fuming. This is completely unacceptable , you and your DH should be working not 1 but 2 jobs to get this mess you created cleaned up. 

    Yes, you both should be working as much as possible to clean this up. I know childcare will be expensive, but you will have to find a way to make it work. And if your kids are all 3 and under, homeschooling isn't even an issue for another few years. With A LOT of hard work, maybe you can stay home in a few years.  


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    E 9.08, V 8.11, J 4.14
  • image vanessaNOV2:
    We are in middle of bankruptcy, and was counting on our tax return to cover lawyer costs....and of course in true bad luck fashion the feds have taken our return and have not listed why but we can call tomorrow to find out. My stomach turned hard when dh told me the return was gone. .we are trying so dang hard to get to that starting point again with no debts and good budgeting. Getting there on budgeting, not a lot of extra money after bills to invest and save but I had the bankruptcy bill covered in my head. Dh was mad but more proactive about how to proceed, work more plus payday loans to cover bankruptcy bills. I just wish I had something I could do on a weekly basis to make enough to cover the power bill or gas. I have done random crafts I make and sell online or at my moms work but with three kids I do not have the time. I will be a SAHM for at least another 10 years while homeschooling but I wish I could make money on a regular basis on the side, just for that cushion.

    It's time to go back to work. You can't stay home if you have to declare bankruptcy. That's absolutely ludicrous to think you can. You don't need a few dollars on the side, you need a 2nd income.  

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  • Your family will be much better off if you go back to work, althought that's not what you want to hear.  What you described is no way to live.
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  • image Andrewsgal:
    image KC_13:

    I admit I may have the wrong poster on my post-it, but isn't this the girl with three kids really close in age that lives with either their parents or their ILs?

    Even if I'm wrong--you still shouldn't be SAH. That's wonderful you wanted to homeschool, but sometimes grown-up life gets in the way of what we want. You should be working at least until you get significantly above water (and move out of your family's house if that actually is the case). This may involve working opposite shifts from your DH for a while if daycare costs are a consideration.

    IDK but according to her posts, she has a 4 month old, 2year old and 3 year old. So not only does she think she should be able to SAH while she can't afford it, she also thinks she should have as many kids as possible while doing so.

     If that's the case, OP, what were you thinking when you decided to be a SAHM? If you guys are int bankruptcy this deep, you've been financially unstable since before most/all of these kids were born!  Payday loans are about the stupidest way to deal with your bills, and pretty much an assurance that you'll never have your heads above water.

     

    Here is your three-step plan for "making money on a regular basis":

    1) Get a job, any paying job

    2) Find a reasonable child care option (even if that means you and DH work opposite shifts so that someone is always home)

    3) GET AN IUD!

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  • PPs are right. If it came down to losing my house or family or feeling self entitled to stay home? I would be out flipping burgers if thats all I could get. Stop wishing you could do something and do it. I have a friend in a similar situation and she got a job at a GYM kid drop in center and the gym let her bring her kids with her.
    Blessed with double the love. C and J born May 2013
  • That's a basic of bankruptcy that they take your tax return. Ive never declared and I know that. Yikes.

    I think you are pretty crazy for
    Not teaching your kids that both of you need a job right now.
  • Ok, so what are the chances this doesn't get a DD or she ever comes back to reply?
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  • image KateMW:
    Ok, so what are the chances this doesn't get a DD or she ever comes back to reply?

    High, very high.

    ETA: I read your post backwards - Low, very low! 


    imageimage
    E 9.08, V 8.11, J 4.14
  • I don't get this at all.  I understand having 3 kids that young that any job she gets may not cover childcare so it makes more sense to stay home.  

    That would be my scenario if I needed or wanted to go back to work.  But I would find a way to work, overnight or whatever it took so my family wasn't on the streets.

    If you are declaring bankruptcy then yeah you have had financial troubles before these kids were born.  I don't understand, insisting on having more children when you plain can't afford it.

    I would love a 4th but I doubt we will be able to swing it when looking at future food bills, pre-school, house space, etc..  I wouldn't breed myself into destitution.

    It drives me nuts because my SIL/BIL have done this.  He lost his job and they got pregnant.  They lost their house and their car and had to move in with her grandparents and now are having a 4th kid.  I just don't get it. 



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  • image jinnymb:

    I don't get this at all.  I understand having 3 kids that young that any job she gets may not cover childcare so it makes more sense to stay home.  

    That would be my scenario if I needed or wanted to go back to work.  But I would find a way to work, overnight or whatever it took so my family wasn't on the streets.

    This is where I am. DH and I are going in the hole right now until I can find a professional job because any minimum wage job wouldn't pay for FT childcare for DS and after-school care for DD. I can't work nights because DS still isn't sleeping through the night and DH can't get up with him 2-4 times a night and still drive to work safely.

    That being said, I'm trying to get tutoring jobs or a daycare job so I can do something to bring in money.

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  • I think you need to put the homeschooling plan on hold until you and your DH are in control of your financial situation.  How did you get to this point in the first place?  I understand that putting 3 small kids in daycare you may even break even (in my area breaking even with even two kids you need to make quite a bit.)  

    Working opposite shifts as your DH is probably your best option.   

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  • image LalaMama81:

    image KateMW:
    Ok, so what are the chances this doesn't get a DD or she ever comes back to reply?

    High, very high.

    ETA: I read your post backwards - Low, very low! 

    This.

    Admittedly, I'm looking forward to this happening with AG reposting the whole thread again. LOL.

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  • image KatFCo:
    image jinnymb:

    I don't get this at all.  I understand having 3 kids that young that any job she gets may not cover childcare so it makes more sense to stay home.  

    That would be my scenario if I needed or wanted to go back to work.  But I would find a way to work, overnight or whatever it took so my family wasn't on the streets.

    This is where I'm in. DH and I are going in the hole right now until I can find a professional job because any minimum wage job wouldn't pay for FT childcare for DS and after-school care for DD. I can't work nights because DS still isn't sleeping through the night and DH can't get up with him 2-4 times a night and still drive to work safely.

    That being said, I'm trying to get tutoring jobs or a daycare job so I can do something to bring in money.

    I tend to agree. Child care is VERY expensive for three children. Depending on where she lives, it could be anywhere from 300-600 a week or more. It's just not as easy as "getting a job." It's so hard to find work at home. She's in a tough situation. We don't really know the history.

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  • Besides what everyone else has said about you needing to get a job, I don't understand wanting to raise your kids without any money.  Is staying home really worth not being able to pay your bills?  

    If I was that set on it I would most definitely be working nights and weekends.   

    image
    image
  • image I Heart The 80s:
    Her SN rings a bell. I seriously need to start taking notes on posters.

    You should make a spreadsheet and PM it to all of us.  


    imageimage
    E 9.08, V 8.11, J 4.14
  • image ariel06:

    I think you need to put the homeschooling plan on hold until you and your DH are in control of your financial situation.  How did you get to this point in the first place?  I understand that putting 3 small kids in daycare you may even break even (in my area breaking even with even two kids you need to make quite a bit.)  

    Working opposite shifts as your DH is probably your best option.   

    the only other thing I can think of besides working opposite shifts is babysitting for somebody else during the day.  

    DD#1 12/30/08 DD#2 5/3/11
  • image wheelsonthebus:
    image KatFCo:
    image jinnymb:

    I don't get this at all.  I understand having 3 kids that young that any job she gets may not cover childcare so it makes more sense to stay home.  

    That would be my scenario if I needed or wanted to go back to work.  But I would find a way to work, overnight or whatever it took so my family wasn't on the streets.

    This is where I'm in. DH and I are going in the hole right now until I can find a professional job because any minimum wage job wouldn't pay for FT childcare for DS and after-school care for DD. I can't work nights because DS still isn't sleeping through the night and DH can't get up with him 2-4 times a night and still drive to work safely.

    That being said, I'm trying to get tutoring jobs or a daycare job so I can do something to bring in money.

    I tend to agree. Child care is VERY expensive for three children. Depending on where she lives, it could be anywhere from 300-600 a week or more. It's just not as easy as "getting a job." It's so hard to find work at home. She's in a tough situation. We don't really know the history.

    I think that's a weak excuse. Sure, I get that you can't magically snap your fingers and get a job immediately and it takes time to get something to work around when your spouse works. If she were venting and said she was having a tough time finding work and asked for suggestions that would be one thing. When you're in total financial ruin and your life's plan is to homeschool for the next ten years, you're an idiot. Plain and simple.

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  • image I Heart The 80s:
    image LalaMama81:

    image I Heart The 80s:
    Her SN rings a bell. I seriously need to start taking notes on posters.

    You should make a spreadsheet and PM it to all of us.  

    Lol. Is that sarcasm Lala? I admit, lots of PMing lately. It's true.

    Mostly. But it would be handy... :) 


    imageimage
    E 9.08, V 8.11, J 4.14
  • image wheelsonthebus:
    image KatFCo:
    image jinnymb:

    I don't get this at all.  I understand having 3 kids that young that any job she gets may not cover childcare so it makes more sense to stay home.  

    That would be my scenario if I needed or wanted to go back to work.  But I would find a way to work, overnight or whatever it took so my family wasn't on the streets.

    This is where I'm in. DH and I are going in the hole right now until I can find a professional job because any minimum wage job wouldn't pay for FT childcare for DS and after-school care for DD. I can't work nights because DS still isn't sleeping through the night and DH can't get up with him 2-4 times a night and still drive to work safely.

    That being said, I'm trying to get tutoring jobs or a daycare job so I can do something to bring in money.

    I tend to agree. Child care is VERY expensive for three children. Depending on where she lives, it could be anywhere from 300-600 a week or more. It's just not as easy as "getting a job." It's so hard to find work at home. She's in a tough situation. We don't really know the history.

    Give me a break. First of a Bankrupcy does not happen over night. I would put money on the fact they were in the hole before at least one if not all the kids. They also are talking payday loans which makes it pretty obvious they have zero money management skills. And since she won't ever be back I am sure we won't know the real story. 
    Mom to Emma 9/4/06 and Jackson 11/24/08 M/C Dec 11 and M/C twins feb 2012. BFP Thanksgiving! EDD Aug 4, 2013 M/C at 5 weeks.
  • image Andrewsgal:
    image wheelsonthebus:
    image KatFCo:
    image jinnymb:

    I don't get this at all.  I understand having 3 kids that young that any job she gets may not cover childcare so it makes more sense to stay home.  

    That would be my scenario if I needed or wanted to go back to work.  But I would find a way to work, overnight or whatever it took so my family wasn't on the streets.

    This is where I'm in. DH and I are going in the hole right now until I can find a professional job because any minimum wage job wouldn't pay for FT childcare for DS and after-school care for DD. I can't work nights because DS still isn't sleeping through the night and DH can't get up with him 2-4 times a night and still drive to work safely.

    That being said, I'm trying to get tutoring jobs or a daycare job so I can do something to bring in money.

    I tend to agree. Child care is VERY expensive for three children. Depending on where she lives, it could be anywhere from 300-600 a week or more. It's just not as easy as "getting a job." It's so hard to find work at home. She's in a tough situation. We don't really know the history.

    Give me a break. First of a Bankrupcy does not happen over night. I would put money on the fact they were in the hole before at least one if not all the kids. They also are talking payday loans which makes it pretty obvious they have zero money management skills. And since she won't ever be back I am sure we won't know the real story. 

    Yes, I agree. And I want to say that I'm not 100% defending her. I just meant that the solution may not be as easy as we think. I know so many families that work full time and childcare just drains them. I agree that she should rethink her choice to homeschool.

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  • image wheelsonthebus:
    image Andrewsgal:
    image wheelsonthebus:
       

    I tend to agree. Child care is VERY expensive for three children. Depending on where she lives, it could be anywhere from 300-600 a week or more. It's just not as easy as "getting a job." It's so hard to find work at home. She's in a tough situation. We don't really know the history.

    Give me a break. First of a Bankrupcy does not happen over night. I would put money on the fact they were in the hole before at least one if not all the kids. They also are talking payday loans which makes it pretty obvious they have zero money management skills. And since she won't ever be back I am sure we won't know the real story. 

    Yes, I agree. And I want to say that I'm not 100% defending her. I just meant that the solution may not be as easy as we think. I know so many families that work full time and childcare just drains them. I agree that she should rethink her choice to homeschool.

    I agree with wheelsonthe bus. I wasn't trying to justify the situation, just to commiserate with the single notion that "get a job" is sometimes easier said than done.

    OP, I hope you're able to take the advice to heart. Wanting to stay at home for your kids is admirable, but not always possible. Find a way for you to bring in some income or your DH to get another job. Start budgeting and do what you can to get yourselves out of this mess.

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  • I am sorry you're in this situation. However, right now you need to focus on getting out of debt. Payday loans are pretty much the worst thing you can do. Do not go this route, you will just be digging yourself deeper and deeper in debt. Do you qualify for a personal loan from your bank? Can you work out some sort of payment plan?

    Is there a financial counselor at your bank that would meet with you and help you work out a budget? Or even at your church? I know a lot of churches offer financial freedom planning. We don't have a specific counselor but I know our treasurer or pastor would absolutely help a congregation member figure out their budget. I love homeschooling. I think it's a fabulous way to teach children, but if you can't afford it you shouldn't be planning on it. If you are homeschooling you will not be bringing in any income AND you will have to come up with books, lesson plans, supplies etc. Not to mention you regular bills and any unexpected expenses that life brings.

    Is there a job you can find working opposite of your husband? Can you waitress or stock shelves at a grocery store? I know it's less than glamorous but you need to be working out of debt. If you work your butt off for a couple of years you may be able to homeschool in the future but right now you should really focus on getting out of that debt!


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  • image KatFCo:
    image jinnymb:

    I don't get this at all.  I understand having 3 kids that young that any job she gets may not cover childcare so it makes more sense to stay home.  

    That would be my scenario if I needed or wanted to go back to work.  But I would find a way to work, overnight or whatever it took so my family wasn't on the streets.

    This is where I am. DH and I are going in the hole right now until I can find a professional job because any minimum wage job wouldn't pay for FT childcare for DS and after-school care for DD. I can't work nights because DS still isn't sleeping through the night and DH can't get up with him 2-4 times a night and still drive to work safely.

    That being said, I'm trying to get tutoring jobs or a daycare job so I can do something to bring in money.



    Really? Your husband can't wake up twice and still drive to work? That's funny, I managed to stay awake all day waking up multiple times a night when my kid was a baby. I even sometimes drove my newborn to the store to buy groceries! Thats a cop out and you know it.

    I have nothing to say to or about the OP that hasn't already been covered.
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  • image NandaB:
    image KatFCo:
    image jinnymb:

    I don't get this at all.  I understand having 3 kids that young that any job she gets may not cover childcare so it makes more sense to stay home.  

    That would be my scenario if I needed or wanted to go back to work.  But I would find a way to work, overnight or whatever it took so my family wasn't on the streets.

    This is where I am. DH and I are going in the hole right now until I can find a professional job because any minimum wage job wouldn't pay for FT childcare for DS and after-school care for DD. I can't work nights because DS still isn't sleeping through the night and DH can't get up with him 2-4 times a night and still drive to work safely.

    That being said, I'm trying to get tutoring jobs or a daycare job so I can do something to bring in money.

    Really? Your husband can't wake up twice and still drive to work? That's funny, I managed to stay awake all day waking up multiple times a night when my kid was a baby. I even sometimes drove my newborn to the store to buy groceries! Thats a cop out and you know it. I have nothing to say to or about the OP that hasn't already been covered.

    Well considering DS is awake between 30-60 minutes each time sometimes, yeah, it would be tough for him to be able to function at work longterm. Not to mention if I had a night job, I'd be going to work at night and coming home to take care of the baby during the day.

    FTR, I have been looking and have tried to get some evening/night jobs, but again, childcare issues come up.

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  • I dont have anything else to add that hasnt been said already....but what is a payday loan?? I have never heard of it??
    Julian David 8/7/06 and Isabella Mia 5/14/09
  • image debs1018:
    I dont have anything else to add that hasnt been said already....but what is a payday loan?? I have never heard of it??

    A payday loan is like a paycheck advancement. There are places that advertise being "Payday Loan or Check into Cash". You can go there and get X amount of money and then you have until your next payday to pay it back (without interest I think) then after that they charge you like 400% interest. It is a rediculous way to get "fast money" and is basically a scam.  

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