February 2012 Moms

Anyone else feel like they went a bit overboard with the first bday party?

I feel like I went a bit overboard. I had a budget that I set for myself...thought I was doing a good job of staying within it. Went to add everything up and I have almost spend four times the amount. I really didn't meant to spend that much. Thankfully, the hubby isn't mad at me. But, we could have spend that money to pay a small bill off. Just wondering if I'm alone with this, or if there are others??

 

Please don't get me wrong, I am over the moon about celebrating. I just feel a little guilty.  

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Re: Anyone else feel like they went a bit overboard with the first bday party?

  • I only got DS one gift to offset the spend.  And even going what I think is sort of all out for a 1 yo (decorations, cake), it will be less than the parties cost of school age children, so it's all relative to me...I am looking forward to the next three years of inexpensive parties.
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  • I feel that way about the guest list. We did not invite all of our family and we are still over 50 people. I just wanted a small family get together. Our budget is 250 does that sound reasonable? we got the hall for 15 dollars. How much did you guys spend
  • We only got our daughter one gift as well. She will be overwhelmed with things from friends and family. I've tried to tell myself that I won't be throwing another big party until she is 4 or 5, which makes me feel a bit better. 

    I think one of the more expensive things was the food, because we will have close to 60 family members and close friends. Thankfully I'm not doing a big spread! We are just doing cream puffs, eclairs, fruit, ice cream, and cupcakes. It's a mid afternoon party. 

  • That is what my budget started out as. I've only told one of my closest friends how much we've spent because I'm pretty embarrassed. We are at a little over 900**wincing**at this point. But, that does include her first birthday pictures/framing (only professional pictures we've had done.)  

     

  • I think I am! I feel like I am going to overboard on decoration and party favors. I am probably spending around 200 dollars but that doesn't include food yet. I am having such a great time planning and make that I don't want to stop. :)

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  • Oh I've totally lost my mind over this party. Only about 22 people are coming and I've spent over 800. Including food. DH mentioned how much I've spent last night, but he didn't seem upset. He knows me well enough to not be surprised I love throwing parties, no matter what the occasion!
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  • I spent WAY TOO MUCH!!!!!!!! My daughters birthday was Saturday... lodge was 150 alone....between decor, invites, stamps, balloons, napkins, utensils that was over 150. Food, apps, drinks, dessert was over 250. I bought her one toy that I never even wrapped or pulled out that was 50. We had 55 guests... So I'm sure I spent close to 700-800. Which seems nuts.

     

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  • I am so glad there are some women out there that went/will go overboard like me! I haven't even finished buying everything yet. I assume that my total will be about 1,00 when it is all said and done (fresh fruit, beverages, flowers, balloons, and other last minute items.) I will be putting my daughters party on Pinterest afterwords, (party is on the 23rd.) I really am truly very excited!! 

  • My kiddo's party is a few weeks away.  I've worked really hard on alot of DIY.  Not getting too crazy.  Keep the cake, food and decor simple. 

    But I can see how easily overboard you could get.  I almost dropped $100 on Etsy on papergood stuff.  And thank god my good sense kicked in and I realized that would be like dropping $100 in the trash.  (couldn't really see reusing the stuff). 

    Anyway even today I was going to drop $25 on cupcake topper decor and I put the brakes on and walked out of the store.   It's so easy to get crazy because it's the first party. 

    But in reality we need to keep it simple.  All said and done this party will probably cost me $550.    My ILs and parents are making food and my Mom is paying for the face painter. 

    Fortunately I spread out the money and bought things early like favors and candy in December.  Now in January it was all the decor.  And February will be about the food and the venue. 

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  • From a mostly lurker, my mom is going crazy with the party. It is set for Friday the 23rd and she has ordered all sorts of etsy items, made some diy items, bought candy and dishes for candy bar, and said she and dad were buying the food. That leaves me and dh to just pretty much get the cake. Crazy grandparents!
  • Wow. I predict my total for the party will be under $50. Truly. And that's including pictures that a friend is doing for us (said she would do it for free but I insist on paying her $20 for her time at least). I will make cupcakes using ingredients I have all or almost all of already on hand, and I got a cheese/meat/crackers party tray for $3.50 the other day using some awesome coupons that I am saving for the party. Other than that I might make finger sandwiches or put out Chex mix or something else that I already have in the pantry (I coupon so we have a lot). Maybe a veggie and dip tray. For drinks I have plenty of 2 liters in the pantry to use already, most of which I got on sale for 49 cents from Publix when they do a sale on their brand of soda. The only things I'll be spending actual money on are plates, cups, etc and that is most likely coming from Dollar Tree, they have a cute butterfly theme so that's what I'm planning to base the decor on. I already have plasticware. I might try to make a banner or something and will probably get some balloons, also from Dollar Tree. I am also eyeing some Valentines things that I could use for the party from Target and I will go there the day after Valentines day when it all goes to 50% off to see if I'd like to snag any of that. As far as a gift for Addy, there is an adorable child-size apron at Target that's part of the Valentines stuff that I'd love to get for her once everything hits 50% off, I'm crossing my fingers it will still be there. I truly cannot imagine spending close to $1,000 on this. That blows my mind. We will only have around 20 people there I am guessing (don't know yet, RSVPs not due yet) so that does help with the cost but even if we were having 50+ I don't see how I would possibly spend more than $100 for EVERYTHING to do with this party. If this makes me a "bad mom" to some people, then so be it. We'd rather pay off the house faster, or meet various other financial goals, than to spend that kind of money on a single party.
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  • We have spent around $300 but that is including, pictures, gifts, food, decor, plates and such and everything.
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  • How awesome for you Nateslady! I don't think anyone would say you are a "bad mom" for not spending more money...weird that you would think that.  I think everyone could agree that they would rather pay off other things then spending what they did on their LO's party, but dont regret spending the money on the party either.  No one here was bragging that they spend x amount, but we are all happy for you and that you were able to keep your costs down.

    I am with the other posters and I had a budget of $250.  I don't bake so I had to buy cupcakes and cookies because we invited around 40 people and those were almost $75.  Then invites were more than I wanted to pay, but I am so happy with them.  Then decorations, her birthday outfit, etc, etc, etc.  Should we have spent less probably but I have loved being able to go all out on this party.  Like some of you already said, we have another few years before parties get expensive again.

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  • image NatesLady1309:
    Wow. I predict my total for the party will be under 50. Truly. And that's including pictures that a friend is doing for us said she would do it for free but I insist on paying her 20 for her time at least. I will make cupcakes using ingredients I have all or almost all of already on hand, and I got a cheese/meat/crackers party tray for 3.50 the other day using some awesome coupons that I am saving for the party. Other than that I might make fingernbsp;sandwichesnbsp;or put out Chex mix or something else that I already have in the pantry I coupon so we have a lot. Maybe a veggie and dip tray. For drinks I have plenty of 2 liters in the pantry to use already, most of which I got on sale for 49 cents from Publix when they do a sale on their brand of soda. The only things I'll be spending actual money on are plates, cups, etc and that is most likely coming from Dollar Tree, they have a cute butterfly theme so that's what I'm planning to base the decor on. I already have plasticware. I might try to make a banner or something and will probably get some balloons, also from Dollar Tree. I am also eyeing some Valentines things that I could use for the party from Target and I will go there the day after Valentines day when it all goes to 50 off to see if I'd like to snag any of that. As far as a gift for Addy, there is an adorable childsize apron at Target that's part of the Valentines stuff that I'd love to get for her once everything hits 50 off, I'm crossing my fingers it will still be there. I truly cannot imagine spending close to 1,000 on this. That blows my mind. We will only have around 20 people there I am guessing don't know yet, RSVPs not due yet so that does help with the cost but even if we were having 50 I don't see how I would possibly spend more than 100 for EVERYTHING to do with this party. If this makes me a "bad mom" to some people, then so be it. We'd rather pay off the house faster, or meet various other financial goals, than to spend that kind of money on a single party.


    Who said anything about being a bad mom? No matter what anybody spends, the most important is the memories weas parents will forever have!
    We spent 350 on professional photos, then 250 for the hall, another 200 for food, drinks, appetizers, and the cupcakes for 125 people, we also knew there were going to be kids there so we had a guy come and make popcorn and cotton candy for 2 1/2 hours for everybody and that was 125, the decorations we spent about 100 on and then candy for the candy bar we spent about 100 as well. Hey how I see it is that he's our first baby, and will be the only one for awhile, and in our family we always have big parties, so it wasn't a big deal.
    ETA we didn't buy everything at once either, starting last june we started getting things little by little with every pay check, and we are going to do the same this year!
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  • I think we spent about $50 on his gifts and $50 for lunch, cake, invites, supplies and a few balloons. It could have been less, but I bought a lot of cake decorating supplies, all with coupons. I figured those supplies are like an investment because I have a lot of cake decorating in my future. We are having a small party with just immediate family.
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  • With everything, I think we'll spend close to $200. It includes food, decorations, invitations, etc. It's over budget so my mom is helping out as her gift to Nat. I want her first birthday to be special and I don't mind spending a little more so that I have good memories of her birthday!

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  • I'm going to Costco for the food on Thursday but I think the total will be in the neighborhood of $150. 
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  • I have no idea, because I bought things little by little and didn't keep track. As for everyone else, I like seeing the DIY parties as well as the mega-buck bashes. Both kinds are awesome in different ways.
  • We don't really have a budget, we are just trying to go simple.  Burgers, hot dogs and chips for food, I bought some cute "first birthday" decorations and we got him a few presents.  My parents got him a clown because Logan asked for it for his bday but it isn't allowed where we are having it.  

    I think first birthdays are great and so fun and everyone should do it how they want.  We are going simple because we have to afford the 4 year old party a month later.  Not that Kellen isn't as important, it's just that he has no idea and Logan does.  Once they are both old enough to know we will split the budget in half.  

  • I've definitely gone overboard.  I have no idea how much I've spent, but I'm guessing it's about $300-400.  But it's a great occasion and we have several family members flying in for his party.    

    We're doing a Seuss theme and I made a cute banner with Seuss characters, cute party favors, Seuss-themed snacks and I'm making a ball pit for the other babies that will be there.   

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  • We are spending about 1000 and most of that is food, beer, cake, and decorations for about 50 people. We are getting it catered. I am not cooking lol.

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  • We spent about 130 on decorations, I went WAY overboard at the party store, and about 60 on the cake and smash cake. MIL offered to buy the food so we made out under 200.
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  • We are having a family party on the 23rd @ my parents and close friends with their babies @ our house on the 24th for lunch.

    We saved up cash doing some side jobs so it won't come from our monthly budget.

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  • Now I don't think anyone is a bad mom for spending a lot vs a little but I do think a lot of it is over blown.
    Personally I think 1000 is a big ol waste and that it would be much better spent in your kid's college account. But that being said we all have different budgets and financial goals. So it doesn't make anyone right or wrong.
    As a mother of an almost adult the one thing I regret not having more of is pictures. So I'm having nice professional pics of dd. But that's my priority.
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  • I honestly have no idea what we have spent so far. I pick things up as I see them and have been for about two months now. I'm not worried about how much money I spend on her party. As I've said before, it is more about the parents than the child and we don't have parties very often so I'm going all out.

    NatesLady, for you to say you may be a "bad mom" is just strange to me. Why even make that reference? You clearly know you aren't a bad mom, so why are you trying to justify your choices? Honestly, it came across as condescending and more than a little pretentious by implying that those of us who are spending more than $50 are neglecting our bills/financial futures. Good for you that you can spend that little, but I don?t hoard 2 liters, clip coupons and can?t have it at my own house due to size. So congratulations for being frugal, but just because you spent so little doesn?t mean you are any better than someone who spent more ? just different.

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  • image Jessicameron:
    I have no idea, because I bought things little by little and didn't keep track. As for everyone else, I like seeing the DIY parties as well as the mega-buck bashes. Both kinds are awesome in different ways.

    I agree. I like seeing both.   We did a DIY party; I made most of the decorations, cake, cupcakes, etc.  If people have the bucks to shell out for a huge bash, then more power to them.  I think anything that a Mom does for her child's birthday, even if it is simply going out to dinner, then that is enough.  Again, this isn't a competition....

     

    With that said-even with a DIY party, I STILL blew the budget.  I didn't set one initially, which was probably a  huge fail on my part.  I would venture to say I spent close to $400-500 but that includes pictures which we haven't had taken yet. 

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  • Woah Nelly! It was just a disclaimer in case anyone happened to think that spending very little = "bad mom." I wasn't calling anyone out and sorry if it appeared that way. I have just felt like I am part of a minority that isn't spending multi-hundred dollars on first birthday related stuff. And I find that when I am in the minority, I am often judged. 
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  • I was planning on doing everything myself, as far as baking and such. I LOVE to bake(almost went to culinary school), but I keep another child part-time. I happen to keep him at the end of the week, and with Waverly's party being on a Saturday there is no way that I would be able to bake 60 cupcakes from scratch, make the icing from scratch, and decorate without it turning into a disaster or me staying up all night the night before. My hubby insisted (for our sanity and the sake of our marriage-total joke, but somewhat true) for me to order them from my favorite bakery. That costs $120. I actually had a really hard time letting go of me baking everything, it's my thing. Its what all of our friends and family know me for. I had a lot of mommy guilt for not doing it myself. But, my husband was right, and after weeks of mulling it over, I feel okay about it now. 

     Then her professional pictures cost us a bit over 200(and that was after my mother in law paid 200 for my daughters bday gift.) We have had no professional pictures done, so I feel that it was more than worth it.

    Then, as far as decorations-a lot came from etsy. But, the door sign I can use in my daughters room after the party. The banner only says "happy birthday" so we can use it years to come, her highchair banner...can't reuse that, but I figure a friend down the road can use it and it could save them some money! I did splurge on 4oz ice cream cups with a personalized sticker and decorated little wooden spoons. But, the lady also printed out water bottle labels for me and food tent cards for only 10.00(our printer is out of commission.) So, I cut the water bottle labels out, then used packing table to attach them to the bottle(Super cheap, and super cute way to do water bottles!)

     The real kicker is the pictures, cupcakes, and her outfits. I splurged and went to my favorite children's boutique in town (which I had not shopped at until now, since this is a VERY special occasion.) The outfit was 40% off, but then we had to get it altered, which ended up costing pretty much the 40% I saved in store. BUT the guy altered it to be let out so she can wear it again next year. Then the smash cake outfit was a little pricy...personalized bloomers(but we can wear those over and over) and a personalized party hat. Then I had a shirt made as well.  

     

    I SINCERELY hope that none of you think that how much you spend on your child's party reflects how good of a mother you are. All of you are fantastic mothers. Money has no reflection on that, in the slightest bit. It is very tough for me to wrap my head around how much I've spent, when I'm the type of person that has trouble spending 25-30 on a shirt for myself. This was, in no shape or form, a place where I wanted to brag. I just wanted to talk with ladies who may have done the same thing. The party got away from me. I should have had a running doc with the prices as I purchased. But, I didn't. I learned what NOT to do next time. We are going to enjoy this party, and celebrate this huge, and fantastic milestone with our sweet daughter! I hope all of you truly have a blast with all of your parties!! :-) 

  • image NatesLady1309:
    Woah Nelly! It was just a disclaimer in case anyone happened to think that spending very little = "bad mom." I wasn't calling anyone out and sorry if it appeared that way. I have just felt like I am part of a minority that isn't spending multihundred dollars on first
    birthday related stuff. And I find that
    when I am in the minority, I am often
    judged.nbsp;
    I can see your point.
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  • I'm guessing our total will be around $200.  What really helps is that our guest list is small - most of our family is not local so while they are getting invitations they won't come and our list of friends who will enjoy the event isn't large either.  I think we'll expect 20-30 people to come to our house and munch on the food that we'll work on the week prior.

     I don't think spending $1,000 or spending $50 has anything to do with what kind of mother you are.  It's great to prioritize paying down your house for one set of reasons and for another it's great to go all out.  We tend to be a little more on the spend money elsewhere side, but I LOVE looking at pictures of big bang bashes!

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